Hermes Conrad
Encyclopedia
Hermes Conrad is a fictional character
in the Futurama
animated series. He is voiced by Phil LaMarr
.
from Jamaica
. He manages the Planet Express delivery business with responsibilities that include paying bills, giving out legal waivers, and notifying next of kin
. He is an uptight workaholic
(Hermes is disappointed by the fact that he is anal
only 78.36% of the time and became upset when he would not allow himself to have Valentine's Day
off). This character trait was first noticed when he was four years old, when a hurricane hit Kingston
and threw his alphabet blocks out of order. More stereotypically, he is a Rastafarian
, as seen by his invoking Jah
in "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back
". Fry also refers to him as a "Rastafarian Accountant" to which Hermes replies, "Tally me Banana". Hermes' dedication to his work ethic is displayed in the episode "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back" Hermes suffered a breakdown over his failure to perform his job to perfection, and was sent on paid vacation, which is considered the "ultimate penalty". However, the spa he chose as a vacation spot turned out to be a forced labor camp. Hermes managed to restore his bureaucratic bearing when he was inspired to reorganize the labor camp for greater efficiency. Hermes then organized the "Master IN Pile" at the Central Bureaucracy, but finished 2 seconds early and was demoted from grade 36 to grade 38. But he discovers a mistake made by his replacement bureaucrat and is promoted back to grade 37. By the start of Season 6, however, he has regained his Grade 36 status.
Hermes frequently admonishes the staff for not working hard enough. He strongly dislikes Doctor Zoidberg, often treating him as a "thing" and not a person, and normally punishes Zoidberg first even when obviously innocent. In "The Route of All Evil
", Hermes derides Cubert's business savvy, noting "You don't have your own office, your own building, or ... one of those things! (pointing to Zoidberg)". Zoidberg once recommended a relaxation spa to Hermes and his wife which turned out to be a disguised forced-labor camp (Zoidberg later rescued them), and Hermes once forced Zoidberg to pay for damages to the Planet Express Corporation building which were actually caused by Leela. In "The Deep South" he attempts to convince the crew to eat Zoidberg after about 5 minutes without food. Then again, Hermes and Zoidberg participated in "a little just-friends spooning" while on a camping trip ("Spanish Fry
"). Also in "Into the Wild Green Yonder", when Fry gets the ability to read minds, he reads Hermes's mind and says "You're right, Hermes, Zoidberg is pathetic and lovable."
Throughout the series, many of his comments imply that he smokes marijuana
: such instances include Hermes ordering a "Shirley Hemple" at a bar, denying ownership of a "cigar
" that his son stole from him ("That's not a cigar... and it's not mine"), or mistaking a discussion about robosexual marriage
for one about drug laws
("Ya mon! Ya got to legalize it!"). He also claims an "oregano
" farm as a tax deduction and once announced that he "must flush some things" before phoning the police. Hermes is also the only one to react when Fry
picks up a bong
in "Bendin' in the Wind
". When Amy sees what she thinks is a cockroach
in "Benderama
" she exclaims, " A big fat roach!" to which Hermes replies, "I thought I put that away!" Despite this and other evidence of his use of pot
(including "three decades of the munchies," as he says in "The Prisoner of Benda
"), none of his co-workers have ever directly seen him smoking the drug.
Hermes is also known to dislike labor unions
, once referring to Labor Day
as created by "fat-cat union gangsters", though seconds later he exclaims "Hot damn, a day off!" upon learning that it was that very day ("When Aliens Attack
"), and consulting Glurmo about firing the entire crew and replacing them with Grunka-Lunkas for half the pay ("Fry and the Slurm Factory
").
Despite his disdain and attitude towards most of his coworkers, he has more recently been portrayed as one of the most compassionate characters in the series, and seems to have a soft spot for Bender. In the Season 6 episode "Lethal Inspection
," it is revealed that Hermes used to work for Mom's
Robot Factory in Tijuana, Mexico as Inspector #5, checking robots for defects as they came off the production line. Bender was built here without a backup module, but Hermes' compassion for the baby robot led him to override Bender's "defective" assessment and give him a chance at life. He turned in his resignation immediately afterward, and later destroyed all evidence of his employment there in order to prevent Bender from learning the truth, almost being killed in the process. As the episode ends, he smiles quietly at his burning personnel file and nods, showing him to be proud of his choice. In the earlier episode "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back
", he risked his bureaucratic license to rescue Bender, sorting the entire Master IN pile in under four minutes to recover the disc containing Bender's downloaded brain.
exclamation consisting of an animal and a place, such as "Sweet gorilla
of Manila
", "Sweet yeti
of the Serengeti
", or "Sweet three-toed sloth
of ice planet Hoth
." After he was talked out of killing himself in "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back" he was too distraught to rhyme, merely whimpering "Sweet something of... someplace". He also tends to make analogies to current situations involving green snakes
and sugarcane
: "Our electricity bill is climbing faster than a green snake up a sugarcane", "I'm hungrier than a green snake in a sugarcane field" and "The pressure will crush you like a green snake under a sugarcane truck". He sometimes exclaims "Haile H. Selassie", which is both a reference to Emperor Haile Selassie I of Ethiopia
and a Rastafarian-inspired parody of the more mainstream Christian curse, "Jesus H. Christ". He has also invoked "Ras H. Tafari". Occasionally, Hermes will shout things that reference "The Banana Boat Song" (better known as "Day-O!"). In one episode, Fry describes him as a "Rastafarian accountant", to which he replies "Tally me banana!" despite Fry originally thinking he was an "outer space potato man." In another episode, he was hit in the head, causing him to shout "Daylight come!". In "Three-Hundred Big Boys", when Hermes gives his son a gift which he doesn't want, he angrily states that he "tallied almost three-hundred bananas on this entertainment product". In "The Deep South
", after a giant fish eats his sandwich, he shouts, "My Manwich
!" This refers to the fact that the Manwich jingle is performed in Reggae
. His son, Dwight, also says it when a school bully takes his Manwich in "The Route of All Evil
".
", when the ship was being flown to the Sun
and the crew about to be discarded into it, Hermes had second thoughts about whether he should or shouldn't save them. Earlier in the same episode, he gives Leela a gun
and tells her to "Use it to shoot those guys" (i.e. Fry, Bender and Zoidberg). Leela then responds "Right... if they try to look into the box" to which Hermes replies: "Whatever..." On another occasion, when Leela is going to get a permit for her mutant parents to visit the surface, Hermes asks her to pick him up a license to kill. When she asks "Bare hands or weapon?" he responds with "What does piano wire
count as?" He has also shown disdain towards Nibbler
in "The Deep South" when he picks up a pet license for him, Leela remarks "That's sweet. I didn't know you cared about Nibbler." Hermes then replies, "Dream on, woman! I'd like to put him in a sack and toss the sack in a river and hurl the river into space!" The license turns out to be a mandatory fishing license however, mitigating the fishing trip for the episode.
athlete. He was competing at the 2980 Olympic Games
for the Earth team when a little boy ran onto the field. The boy wanted to be "just like Hermes", but broke his back while attempting to limbo and apparently died, taking into account what Hermes says. This event traumatized Hermes and he could not bring himself to limbo again until decades later, when he found it necessary to slide under a nearly-closed door aboard the space cruise ship Titanic in order to save the lives of himself and his co-workers. His confidence (though not his physique) restored, Hermes came out of retirement to compete for Jamaica at the 3004 Olympics, after the original team got detained at the airport for "other interests" (again, implied to be marijuana), though he was bested by longtime rival Barbados Slim, to whom Hermes' wife LaBarbara Conrad was once married, and temporarily gets back together with (twice) in Bender's Big Score.
, Hermes limbos under one sword that nicks his belly, but as he begins to gloat he is accidentally decapitated by another sword (which was crossed with the first one over the Planet Express' fireplace). His body is crushed and badly damaged moments later, and his head is put into a jar for preservation until repairs can be made. Hermes is left depressed when LaBarbara reveals that, since he is now only "two halves of a dad," she is again seeing her ex-husband Barbados Slim. A time replication of his body is brought to the future by Bender, but Zoidberg mistakenly reattaches his head backwards. During Leela and Lars' wedding, Hermes is hit in the eye with a pen and trips over the support for an electric chandelier, a shard of which decapitates Hermes again; his body is then crushed and electrocuted by the chandelier (revealing publicly that time-duplicates are doomed to die). However, Hermes' severed head comes to good use when its brainwaves are used to guide the Earth fleet to destroy the Scammer ships. He and LaBarbara get back together and his head is reattached to his original body by competent doctors.
) - Hermes Conrad's wife. She is considerably taller and slimmer than Hermes and is usually seen wearing revealing clothing. LaBarbara was previously married to Barbados Slim, a tall, muscular athlete (whom she refers to as "that mahogany god") who is the only man to win an Olympic Gold medal in both limbo
and sex. She accompanies her husband on a trip on the Starship Titanic
and another to Spa 5, which turns out to be a slave labor camp. She and her husband often refer to each other only as "husband" and "wife," although in on the Starship Titanic he referred to her simply as "Hot Woman", or simply "Woman" in Bender's Big Score. In "The Route of All Evil
", Hermes and LaBarbara's home is shown as very sumptuous. She temporarily leaves Hermes for Barbados Slim in Bender's Big Score within minutes of his being decapitated, believing he would be unable to properly provide for the family as a mere head, only to return to him after Hermes utilizes his thinking skills to save Earth from a hostile takeover. Just like Amy Wong
she wears anything that reveals her belly button.
and Phil LaMarr) - 12 year old son of Hermes and LaBarbara Conrad. He has a friendship with Cubert Farnsworth
. Dwight takes after his father in many ways, such as finding accounting and bureaucracy
more entertaining than more conventional sources of fun. Dwight sports dreadlocks and a T-shirt with the Jamaican flag
on it (although he seems to have spent a large amount of time in the United States, as he speaks with a General American accent). In the episode "The Route of All Evil," a bully throws Dwight's lunch pack into a black hole he has made for his science project; the way in which Dwight screams "My Manwich
!" is very similar to the way Hermes screams the same words when Bender uses his sandwich as fishing bait in "The Deep South
."
Phil LaMarr occasionally provides his voice whenever Bumper Robinson is unavailable. Briefly in Bender's Big Score, Dwight is renamed as Dwight Slim, as opposed to Dwight Conrad. This angers Hermes, who exclaims "You took his name?!".
Fictional character
A character is the representation of a person in a narrative work of art . Derived from the ancient Greek word kharaktêr , the earliest use in English, in this sense, dates from the Restoration, although it became widely used after its appearance in Tom Jones in 1749. From this, the sense of...
in the Futurama
Futurama
Futurama is an American animated science fiction sitcom created by Matt Groening and developed by Groening and David X. Cohen for the Fox Broadcasting Company. The series follows the adventures of a late 20th-century New York City pizza delivery boy, Philip J...
animated series. He is voiced by Phil LaMarr
Phil LaMarr
Phillip "Phil" LaMarr is an American actor, comedian and voice actor. One of the original cast members on the sketch comedy series MADtv, he is also known for his small, but memorable role as Marvin in Pulp Fiction...
.
Appearance and personality
Born in 2959, Hermes is a grade 36 bureaucratBureaucrat
A bureaucrat is a member of a bureaucracy and can comprise the administration of any organization of any size, though the term usually connotes someone within an institution of a government or corporation...
from Jamaica
Jamaica
Jamaica is an island nation of the Greater Antilles, in length, up to in width and 10,990 square kilometres in area. It is situated in the Caribbean Sea, about south of Cuba, and west of Hispaniola, the island harbouring the nation-states Haiti and the Dominican Republic...
. He manages the Planet Express delivery business with responsibilities that include paying bills, giving out legal waivers, and notifying next of kin
Next of kin
Next of kin is a term with many interpretations depending on the jurisdiction being referred to. In some jurisdictions, such as the United States, it is used to describe a person's closest living blood relative or relatives...
. He is an uptight workaholic
Workaholic
A workaholic is a person who is addicted to work.The term generally implies that the person enjoys their work; it can also imply that they simply feel compelled to do it...
(Hermes is disappointed by the fact that he is anal
Anal retentive
The term anal-retentive , commonly abbreviated to anal, is used conversationally to describe a person who pays such attention to detail that the obsession becomes an annoyance to others, and can be carried out to the detriment of the anal-retentive person. The term derives from Freudian...
only 78.36% of the time and became upset when he would not allow himself to have Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day
Saint Valentine's Day, commonly shortened to Valentine's Day, is an annual commemoration held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions. The day is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Saint Valentine, and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 496...
off). This character trait was first noticed when he was four years old, when a hurricane hit Kingston
Kingston, Jamaica
Kingston is the capital and largest city of Jamaica, located on the southeastern coast of the island. It faces a natural harbour protected by the Palisadoes, a long sand spit which connects the town of Port Royal and the Norman Manley International Airport to the rest of the island...
and threw his alphabet blocks out of order. More stereotypically, he is a Rastafarian
Rastafari movement
The Rastafari movement or Rasta is a new religious movement that arose in the 1930s in Jamaica, which at the time was a country with a predominantly Christian culture where 98% of the people were the black descendants of slaves. Its adherents worship Haile Selassie I, Emperor of Ethiopia , as God...
, as seen by his invoking Jah
Jah
Jah is the shortened form of the divine name YHWH , an anglicized version of the Tetragrammaton . The name is most commonly associated with the Rastafari movement or within the word hallelujah, although Christian groups may use the name to varying degrees. For example, Jehovah's Witnesses use a...
in "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back
How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back
"How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back" is episode eleven in season two of Futurama. It originally aired in North America on April 2, 2000...
". Fry also refers to him as a "Rastafarian Accountant" to which Hermes replies, "Tally me Banana". Hermes' dedication to his work ethic is displayed in the episode "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back" Hermes suffered a breakdown over his failure to perform his job to perfection, and was sent on paid vacation, which is considered the "ultimate penalty". However, the spa he chose as a vacation spot turned out to be a forced labor camp. Hermes managed to restore his bureaucratic bearing when he was inspired to reorganize the labor camp for greater efficiency. Hermes then organized the "Master IN Pile" at the Central Bureaucracy, but finished 2 seconds early and was demoted from grade 36 to grade 38. But he discovers a mistake made by his replacement bureaucrat and is promoted back to grade 37. By the start of Season 6, however, he has regained his Grade 36 status.
Hermes frequently admonishes the staff for not working hard enough. He strongly dislikes Doctor Zoidberg, often treating him as a "thing" and not a person, and normally punishes Zoidberg first even when obviously innocent. In "The Route of All Evil
The Route of All Evil
"The Route of All Evil" is episode twelve in season three of the Futurama DVDs. This episode was originally made to be aired during Season 3 but was put on the shelf by FOX. It was also going to be the season premiere for the fifth season but FOX made a last minute change and aired it on December...
", Hermes derides Cubert's business savvy, noting "You don't have your own office, your own building, or ... one of those things! (pointing to Zoidberg)". Zoidberg once recommended a relaxation spa to Hermes and his wife which turned out to be a disguised forced-labor camp (Zoidberg later rescued them), and Hermes once forced Zoidberg to pay for damages to the Planet Express Corporation building which were actually caused by Leela. In "The Deep South" he attempts to convince the crew to eat Zoidberg after about 5 minutes without food. Then again, Hermes and Zoidberg participated in "a little just-friends spooning" while on a camping trip ("Spanish Fry
Spanish Fry
"Spanish Fry" is the seventeenth episode of Season four of Futurama. It originally aired in North America on July 13, 2003, with a beatbox rendition of the opening theme performed by John DiMaggio and Billy West.-Plot summary:...
"). Also in "Into the Wild Green Yonder", when Fry gets the ability to read minds, he reads Hermes's mind and says "You're right, Hermes, Zoidberg is pathetic and lovable."
Throughout the series, many of his comments imply that he smokes marijuana
Cannabis (drug)
Cannabis, also known as marijuana among many other names, refers to any number of preparations of the Cannabis plant intended for use as a psychoactive drug or for medicinal purposes. The English term marijuana comes from the Mexican Spanish word marihuana...
: such instances include Hermes ordering a "Shirley Hemple" at a bar, denying ownership of a "cigar
Blunt (marijuana cigar)
Blunt is a slang term for cannabis rolled with the tobacco-leaf "wrapper" from an inexpensive cigar. Blunts take their name from Phillies Blunt brand cigars, although any commonly available inexpensive cigar or cigarillo is likely to be used by cannabis users, due to suitability and availability...
" that his son stole from him ("That's not a cigar... and it's not mine"), or mistaking a discussion about robosexual marriage
Same-sex marriage
Same-sex marriage is marriage between two persons of the same biological sex or social gender. Supporters of legal recognition for same-sex marriage typically refer to such recognition as marriage equality....
for one about drug laws
Prohibition (drugs)
The prohibition of drugs through sumptuary legislation or religious law is a common means of attempting to prevent drug use. Prohibition of drugs has existed at various levels of government or other authority from the Middle Ages to the present....
("Ya mon! Ya got to legalize it!"). He also claims an "oregano
Oregano
Oregano – scientifically named Origanum vulgare by Carolus Linnaeus – is a common species of Origanum, a genus of the mint family . It is native to warm-temperate western and southwestern Eurasia and the Mediterranean region.Oregano is a perennial herb, growing from 20–80 cm tall,...
" farm as a tax deduction and once announced that he "must flush some things" before phoning the police. Hermes is also the only one to react when Fry
Philip J. Fry
Philip J. Fry, known simply as Fry, is a fictional character, the main protagonist of the animated science fiction sitcom Futurama. He is voiced by Billy West using a version of his own voice as he sounded when he was 25.-Character overview:...
picks up a bong
Bong
A bong is a filtration device/apparatus generally used for smoking cannabis, tobacco,or other herbal substances.In construction and function a bong is similar to a hookah, except smaller and more portable...
in "Bendin' in the Wind
Bendin' in the Wind
"Bendin' in the Wind" is the thirteenth episode in season three of Futurama. It originally aired April 22, 2001. The title comes from the Bob Dylan song "Blowin' in the Wind". In South America, this episode was #1 in "Bender's Best" top ten Bender-related Futurama episodes.- Plot :Fry gets a free...
". When Amy sees what she thinks is a cockroach
Cockroach
Cockroaches are insects of the order Blattaria or Blattodea, of which about 30 species out of 4,500 total are associated with human habitations...
in "Benderama
Benderama
"Benderama" is the seventeenth episode of season six of the animated sitcom Futurama, and originally aired June 23, 2011 on Comedy Central. The episode was written by Aaron Ehasz and directed by Crystal Chesney-Thompson. American comedian Patton Oswalt guest stars in the episode, voicing an...
" she exclaims, " A big fat roach!" to which Hermes replies, "I thought I put that away!" Despite this and other evidence of his use of pot
Recreational drug use
Recreational drug use is the use of a drug, usually psychoactive, with the intention of creating or enhancing recreational experience. Such use is controversial, however, often being considered to be also drug abuse, and it is often illegal...
(including "three decades of the munchies," as he says in "The Prisoner of Benda
The Prisoner of Benda
"The Prisoner of Benda" is the 10th episode of the sixth season of the animated sitcom, Futurama. It aired on Comedy Central on August 19, 2010. In the episode, Professor Farnsworth and Amy build a machine that allows them to switch minds so that they may each pursue their lifelong dreams. ...
"), none of his co-workers have ever directly seen him smoking the drug.
Hermes is also known to dislike labor unions
Trade union
A trade union, trades union or labor union is an organization of workers that have banded together to achieve common goals such as better working conditions. The trade union, through its leadership, bargains with the employer on behalf of union members and negotiates labour contracts with...
, once referring to Labor Day
Labor Day
Labor Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the first Monday in September that celebrates the economic and social contributions of workers.-History:...
as created by "fat-cat union gangsters", though seconds later he exclaims "Hot damn, a day off!" upon learning that it was that very day ("When Aliens Attack
When Aliens Attack
"When Aliens Attack" is episode twelve in season one of Futurama. It originally aired in North America on November 7, 1999. This episode was written by Ken Keeler and directed by Brian Sheesley. The episode features an attack by aliens from Omicron Persei 8 who are outraged when the final episode...
"), and consulting Glurmo about firing the entire crew and replacing them with Grunka-Lunkas for half the pay ("Fry and the Slurm Factory
Fry and the Slurm Factory
"Fry and the Slurm Factory" is the thirteenth episode of the first production season of Futurama. It originally aired in North America on November 14, 1999 as the fourth episode of the second broadcast season. The episode was directed by Ron Hughart and written by Lewis Morton...
").
Despite his disdain and attitude towards most of his coworkers, he has more recently been portrayed as one of the most compassionate characters in the series, and seems to have a soft spot for Bender. In the Season 6 episode "Lethal Inspection
Lethal Inspection
"Lethal Inspection" is the sixth episode of the sixth season of the animated sitcom, Futurama, and originally aired on July 22, 2010 on Comedy Central. In the episode Bender learns that he suffers from a terminal manufacturing defect, effectively rendering him mortal...
," it is revealed that Hermes used to work for Mom's
Mom (Futurama)
Mom, real first name Carol, is a character from the animated television series Futurama. Voiced by Tress MacNeille. Mom is one of the show's two main antagonists, the other being Zapp Brannigan...
Robot Factory in Tijuana, Mexico as Inspector #5, checking robots for defects as they came off the production line. Bender was built here without a backup module, but Hermes' compassion for the baby robot led him to override Bender's "defective" assessment and give him a chance at life. He turned in his resignation immediately afterward, and later destroyed all evidence of his employment there in order to prevent Bender from learning the truth, almost being killed in the process. As the episode ends, he smiles quietly at his burning personnel file and nods, showing him to be proud of his choice. In the earlier episode "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back
How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back
"How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back" is episode eleven in season two of Futurama. It originally aired in North America on April 2, 2000...
", he risked his bureaucratic license to rescue Bender, sorting the entire Master IN pile in under four minutes to recover the disc containing Bender's downloaded brain.
Phrases
When surprised, Hermes often utters a rhymingRhyme
A rhyme is a repetition of similar sounds in two or more words and is most often used in poetry and songs. The word "rhyme" may also refer to a short poem, such as a rhyming couplet or other brief rhyming poem such as nursery rhymes.-Etymology:...
exclamation consisting of an animal and a place, such as "Sweet gorilla
Gorilla
Gorillas are the largest extant species of primates. They are ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous apes that inhabit the forests of central Africa. Gorillas are divided into two species and either four or five subspecies...
of Manila
Manila
Manila is the capital of the Philippines. It is one of the sixteen cities forming Metro Manila.Manila is located on the eastern shores of Manila Bay and is bordered by Navotas and Caloocan to the north, Quezon City to the northeast, San Juan and Mandaluyong to the east, Makati on the southeast,...
", "Sweet yeti
Yeti
The Yeti or Abominable Snowman is an ape-like cryptid said to inhabit the Himalayan region of Nepal, and Tibet. The names Yeti and Meh-Teh are commonly used by the people indigenous to the region, and are part of their history and mythology...
of the Serengeti
Serengeti
The Serengeti ecosystem is a geographical region in Africa. It is located in north Tanzania and extends to south-western Kenya between latitudes 1 and 3 S and longitudes 34 and 36 E. It spans some ....
", or "Sweet three-toed sloth
Three-toed sloth
The three-toed sloths are tree-living mammals from South and Central America. They are the only members of the genus Bradypus and the family Bradypodidae. There are four living species of three-toed sloths...
of ice planet Hoth
Hoth
In the fictional universe of Star Wars, Hoth is the sixth planet of a remote system of the same name. It is a terrestrial planet blanketed by snow and ice. Many meteorites from a nearby asteroid belt pelt the planet's surface, making temporary craters in the planet's ever-moving snow drifts. Hoth...
." After he was talked out of killing himself in "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back" he was too distraught to rhyme, merely whimpering "Sweet something of... someplace". He also tends to make analogies to current situations involving green snakes
Smooth Green Snake
The smooth green snake is a non-venomous North American colubrid. It is also referred to as the grass snake.-Description:...
and sugarcane
Sugarcane
Sugarcane refers to any of six to 37 species of tall perennial grasses of the genus Saccharum . Native to the warm temperate to tropical regions of South Asia, they have stout, jointed, fibrous stalks that are rich in sugar, and measure two to six metres tall...
: "Our electricity bill is climbing faster than a green snake up a sugarcane", "I'm hungrier than a green snake in a sugarcane field" and "The pressure will crush you like a green snake under a sugarcane truck". He sometimes exclaims "Haile H. Selassie", which is both a reference to Emperor Haile Selassie I of Ethiopia
Haile Selassie I of Ethiopia
Haile Selassie I , born Tafari Makonnen, was Ethiopia's regent from 1916 to 1930 and Emperor of Ethiopia from 1930 to 1974...
and a Rastafarian-inspired parody of the more mainstream Christian curse, "Jesus H. Christ". He has also invoked "Ras H. Tafari". Occasionally, Hermes will shout things that reference "The Banana Boat Song" (better known as "Day-O!"). In one episode, Fry describes him as a "Rastafarian accountant", to which he replies "Tally me banana!" despite Fry originally thinking he was an "outer space potato man." In another episode, he was hit in the head, causing him to shout "Daylight come!". In "Three-Hundred Big Boys", when Hermes gives his son a gift which he doesn't want, he angrily states that he "tallied almost three-hundred bananas on this entertainment product". In "The Deep South
The Deep South (Futurama)
"The Deep South" is episode 12 in season 2 of Futurama. It originally aired in North America on April 16, 2000.-Plot:A bureaucratic mix-up results in Hermes receiving a "mandatory fishing license" instead of a pet license for Nibbler. The crew takes the Planet Express Ship to the center of the...
", after a giant fish eats his sandwich, he shouts, "My Manwich
Manwich
Manwich is the brand name of a canned sloppy joe sauce produced by ConAgra Foods, Inc. and Hunt’s introduced in 1969. The can contains seasoned tomato sauce that is added to cooked ground beef in a skillet. It is marketed as a quick and easy one-pan meal for the whole family...
!" This refers to the fact that the Manwich jingle is performed in Reggae
Reggae
Reggae is a music genre first developed in Jamaica in the late 1960s. While sometimes used in a broader sense to refer to most types of Jamaican music, the term reggae more properly denotes a particular music style that originated following on the development of ska and rocksteady.Reggae is based...
. His son, Dwight, also says it when a school bully takes his Manwich in "The Route of All Evil
The Route of All Evil
"The Route of All Evil" is episode twelve in season three of the Futurama DVDs. This episode was originally made to be aired during Season 3 but was put on the shelf by FOX. It was also going to be the season premiere for the fifth season but FOX made a last minute change and aired it on December...
".
Bad habits
On more than one occasion he has hinted to be willing to kill his co-workers without any reason, considering them totally expendable and is usually indifferent to their peril. For example, in the episode "The Farnsworth ParaboxThe Farnsworth Parabox
"The Farnsworth Parabox" is the fifteenth episode of the fourth production season of Futurama. It first aired June 8, 2003, as the tenth episode in the fifth broadcast season. The episode was written by Bill Odenkirk and directed by Ron Hughart.- Plot :...
", when the ship was being flown to the Sun
Sun
The Sun is the star at the center of the Solar System. It is almost perfectly spherical and consists of hot plasma interwoven with magnetic fields...
and the crew about to be discarded into it, Hermes had second thoughts about whether he should or shouldn't save them. Earlier in the same episode, he gives Leela a gun
Gun
A gun is a muzzle or breech-loaded projectile-firing weapon. There are various definitions depending on the nation and branch of service. A "gun" may be distinguished from other firearms in being a crew-served weapon such as a howitzer or mortar, as opposed to a small arm like a rifle or pistol,...
and tells her to "Use it to shoot those guys" (i.e. Fry, Bender and Zoidberg). Leela then responds "Right... if they try to look into the box" to which Hermes replies: "Whatever..." On another occasion, when Leela is going to get a permit for her mutant parents to visit the surface, Hermes asks her to pick him up a license to kill. When she asks "Bare hands or weapon?" he responds with "What does piano wire
Piano wire
Piano wire, or "music wire", is a specialized type of wire made for use in piano strings, as well as many other purposes. It is made from tempered high-carbon steel, also known as spring steel.-Manufacture and use:...
count as?" He has also shown disdain towards Nibbler
Nibbler
A nibbler is a tool for cutting sheet metal with minimal distortion. One type operates much like a punch and die, with a blade that moves in a linear fashion against a fixed die, removing small bits of metal and leaving a kerf approximately 6 mm wide...
in "The Deep South" when he picks up a pet license for him, Leela remarks "That's sweet. I didn't know you cared about Nibbler." Hermes then replies, "Dream on, woman! I'd like to put him in a sack and toss the sack in a river and hurl the river into space!" The license turns out to be a mandatory fishing license however, mitigating the fishing trip for the episode.
Limbo
Hermes was once an Olympic limboLimbo (dance)
Limbo is a popular form of dance that originated on the island of Trinidad. The dancer moves to a Caribbean rhythm, then leans backward and dances under a horizontal pole without touching it. Upon touching it or falling backwards, the dancer is "out"...
athlete. He was competing at the 2980 Olympic Games
Olympic Games
The Olympic Games is a major international event featuring summer and winter sports, in which thousands of athletes participate in a variety of competitions. The Olympic Games have come to be regarded as the world’s foremost sports competition where more than 200 nations participate...
for the Earth team when a little boy ran onto the field. The boy wanted to be "just like Hermes", but broke his back while attempting to limbo and apparently died, taking into account what Hermes says. This event traumatized Hermes and he could not bring himself to limbo again until decades later, when he found it necessary to slide under a nearly-closed door aboard the space cruise ship Titanic in order to save the lives of himself and his co-workers. His confidence (though not his physique) restored, Hermes came out of retirement to compete for Jamaica at the 3004 Olympics, after the original team got detained at the airport for "other interests" (again, implied to be marijuana), though he was bested by longtime rival Barbados Slim, to whom Hermes' wife LaBarbara Conrad was once married, and temporarily gets back together with (twice) in Bender's Big Score.
Decapitation
In Bender's Big ScoreFuturama: Bender's Big Score
Futurama: Bender's Big Score is an Annie Award-winning direct-to-video film based on the animated series Futurama. It was released in the United States on November 27, 2007. Bender's Big Score, along with the three follow-up films, comprise season five of Futurama, with each film being separated...
, Hermes limbos under one sword that nicks his belly, but as he begins to gloat he is accidentally decapitated by another sword (which was crossed with the first one over the Planet Express' fireplace). His body is crushed and badly damaged moments later, and his head is put into a jar for preservation until repairs can be made. Hermes is left depressed when LaBarbara reveals that, since he is now only "two halves of a dad," she is again seeing her ex-husband Barbados Slim. A time replication of his body is brought to the future by Bender, but Zoidberg mistakenly reattaches his head backwards. During Leela and Lars' wedding, Hermes is hit in the eye with a pen and trips over the support for an electric chandelier, a shard of which decapitates Hermes again; his body is then crushed and electrocuted by the chandelier (revealing publicly that time-duplicates are doomed to die). However, Hermes' severed head comes to good use when its brainwaves are used to guide the Earth fleet to destroy the Scammer ships. He and LaBarbara get back together and his head is reattached to his original body by competent doctors.
LaBarbara Conrad
(Voiced by Dawnn LewisDawnn Lewis
Dawnn Lewis is an American actress and singer, perhaps best known for her roles on sitcoms such as A Different World and in the first season of Hangin' with Mr. Cooper.-Career:...
) - Hermes Conrad's wife. She is considerably taller and slimmer than Hermes and is usually seen wearing revealing clothing. LaBarbara was previously married to Barbados Slim, a tall, muscular athlete (whom she refers to as "that mahogany god") who is the only man to win an Olympic Gold medal in both limbo
Limbo
In the theology of the Catholic Church, Limbo is a speculative idea about the afterlife condition of those who die in original sin without being assigned to the Hell of the damned. Limbo is not an official doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church or any other...
and sex. She accompanies her husband on a trip on the Starship Titanic
A Flight to Remember
"A Flight to Remember" is episode ten in the first production season of Futurama. It originally aired in North America on September 26, 1999 as the first episode in the second season. This episode was written by Eric Horsted and directed by Peter Avanzino. Dawnn Lewis guest stars in this episode...
and another to Spa 5, which turns out to be a slave labor camp. She and her husband often refer to each other only as "husband" and "wife," although in on the Starship Titanic he referred to her simply as "Hot Woman", or simply "Woman" in Bender's Big Score. In "The Route of All Evil
The Route of All Evil
"The Route of All Evil" is episode twelve in season three of the Futurama DVDs. This episode was originally made to be aired during Season 3 but was put on the shelf by FOX. It was also going to be the season premiere for the fifth season but FOX made a last minute change and aired it on December...
", Hermes and LaBarbara's home is shown as very sumptuous. She temporarily leaves Hermes for Barbados Slim in Bender's Big Score within minutes of his being decapitated, believing he would be unable to properly provide for the family as a mere head, only to return to him after Hermes utilizes his thinking skills to save Earth from a hostile takeover. Just like Amy Wong
Amy Wong
Amy Wong, voiced by Lauren Tom, is a fictional character, one of the main characters from the Fox and Comedy Central television animated series Futurama. She works as an intern at Planet Express...
she wears anything that reveals her belly button.
Dwight Conrad
(Voiced by Bumper RobinsonBumper Robinson
Bumper Robinson is an American actor and voice artist. Robinson got his nickname because he repeatedly bumped into things while running through his home as a young child.- Life and career :...
and Phil LaMarr) - 12 year old son of Hermes and LaBarbara Conrad. He has a friendship with Cubert Farnsworth
Cubert Farnsworth
Cubert Farnsworth is a fictional character, Professor Farnsworth's clone from the animated television series Futurama. He was created from a growth on Professor Farnsworth's back in 2989. Cubert differs from the Professor in appearance due to his nose being squashed up against the wall of his...
. Dwight takes after his father in many ways, such as finding accounting and bureaucracy
Bureaucracy
A bureaucracy is an organization of non-elected officials of a governmental or organization who implement the rules, laws, and functions of their institution, and are occasionally characterized by officialism and red tape.-Weberian bureaucracy:...
more entertaining than more conventional sources of fun. Dwight sports dreadlocks and a T-shirt with the Jamaican flag
Flag of Jamaica
The flag of Jamaica was adopted on August 6, 1962, the original Jamaican Independence Day, the country having gained independence from the British-protected Federation of the West Indies...
on it (although he seems to have spent a large amount of time in the United States, as he speaks with a General American accent). In the episode "The Route of All Evil," a bully throws Dwight's lunch pack into a black hole he has made for his science project; the way in which Dwight screams "My Manwich
Manwich
Manwich is the brand name of a canned sloppy joe sauce produced by ConAgra Foods, Inc. and Hunt’s introduced in 1969. The can contains seasoned tomato sauce that is added to cooked ground beef in a skillet. It is marketed as a quick and easy one-pan meal for the whole family...
!" is very similar to the way Hermes screams the same words when Bender uses his sandwich as fishing bait in "The Deep South
The Deep South (Futurama)
"The Deep South" is episode 12 in season 2 of Futurama. It originally aired in North America on April 16, 2000.-Plot:A bureaucratic mix-up results in Hermes receiving a "mandatory fishing license" instead of a pet license for Nibbler. The crew takes the Planet Express Ship to the center of the...
."
Phil LaMarr occasionally provides his voice whenever Bumper Robinson is unavailable. Briefly in Bender's Big Score, Dwight is renamed as Dwight Slim, as opposed to Dwight Conrad. This angers Hermes, who exclaims "You took his name?!".