The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant
Encyclopedia
The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant is a non-fiction
book by Dan Savage
. It was first published by Dutton in 1999. The book recounts the author's experiences during the process of adopting a child with his partner, Terry. Savage details for the reader his emotional states at various times during the adoption period and how it impacted his life.
The Kid is the recipient of a PEN West Award. It received favorable reception from The Philadelphia Inquirer
, Salon
, Feminist Economics, and The News Tribune, and a mixed review from Publishers Weekly
. Robin Williams
' production company purchased the options to develop the book for television
in 2000. The book was adapted into a musical
in 2010 by librettist Michael Zam, with music composed by Andy Monroe, and lyrics by Jack Lechner. Christopher Sieber
starred in the lead role as Dan. It was performed Off-Broadway
in Theatre Row, New York City
, and directed by Scott Elliott. The play was the recipient of the BMI Foundation
Jerry Bock
Award for Excellence in Musical Theatre in 2009.
The Kid delves into the machinations involved in the process of adopting an infant boy, through the experiences of the author and his boyfriend. Savage describes the psychological roller-coaster experience of deciding to go through with the process, such as worrying about which items to purchase to support raising an infant, moments where he was nervous about how it would impact his sex life, and what his straight and gay friends would think. Savage comments that an LGBT
activist thought those who adopt children were ideal candidates if they were "men in their forties, together at least eight years, monogamous, professional, irreproachable, and unassailable." He expresses "a complex sense of moral obligation" in writing the narrative.
Terry, Savage's boyfriend at the time for two years, initially helped him look into the option of seeking out lesbian
acquaintances to assist them in becoming biological parents. Savage writes, "Terry and I would be giving up certain things that, for better or worse, define what it means to be gay." Subsequently, they decided to go through the process of adoption
. Terry and Savage were connected with Melissa and communicated with her during her pregnancy. Savage discusses his anger at his grandmother over her homophobia
, his experiences in the bedroom including bondage
and other preferences, and his decision to become a father. He notes that an influential point in the process was viewing the distress from the baby's mother when she separated from her child. The author writes, "We're meant to have the baby we wind up getting, and no other." Savage describes the success at completing the adoption procedures as a form of "social victory."
in 1999. A subsequent edition was published in 2000 in London
by Fusion, and in the United States by Penguin Putnam Inc. A paperback edition was published by Plume in 2000. The book was published in Italian
in 2002 by Tascabili Degli Editori.
described the section of the book where the child's mother gives the baby to his new parents as "the most wrenching scene." Entertainment Weekly
characterized the work as "one of the best books published in 1999", and called the author's writing, "as moving as it is entertaining".
A review in Salon
described the book as "a very moving memoir." Reviewer Daryl Lindsey commented, "Despite the expediency of their experience, the book is full of twists and turns, each subjected to Savage's snide and penetrating wit. And in an uncharacteristically wide-eyed mood, Savage provides a lovely tale about the thrill of anticipating a baby—even when it isn't yours (by birth)." Publishers Weekly
reviewed the work and commented, "Employing the blunt tone of his columns, Savage humorously and honestly discusses his sexual practices (including bondage and fantasies involving actor Matt Damon), his ambivalence about being a parent and his rage at his homophobic grandmother. His forthrightness is brave and daring in the face of social opposition to gay parenting." The review concluded, "However, though Savage's chatty, mercilessly satiric style is effective in his columns and may be intended here to balance the optimistic underpinnings of his journey into parenthood, in this sustained narrative it wears a bit thin."
, Blue Wolf Productions, purchased the options to develop the book for television
.
Off-Broadway
. The play was developed by librettist Michael Zam. Music for the play was composed by Andy Monroe, with lyrics by Jack Lechner. Savage was portrayed by Christopher Sieber
. It was performed in Theatre Row, New York City
, from The New Group
, with director Scott Elliott. The Kid was the recipient of the BMI Foundation
Jerry Bock
Award for Excellence in Musical Theatre in 2009.
The New York Times
gave the musical a favorable review: "Vibrators, leather bars and good old-fashioned sodomy have never looked more wholesome than they do in The Kid." The Star-Ledger
reviewer commented, "It's a really funny show. And rather touching, as well. A lot of the jokes are based on the would-be adoptive couple being two men. But the sharp humor is balanced with a sweetness and humanity that makes their emotional experience relatable for everyone." The New York Post
gave the musical a rating of three and a half out of four stars, with reviewer Elisabeth Vincentelli writing, "The administrative roller coaster provides a gold mine of amusing material, but this tender, funny show is more about the emotional journey of becoming a parent for the first time." A review in the New York Daily News
commented, "The show is well-meaning but surprisingly bland and corny." Jesse Oxfeld wrote for The New York Observer, "Michael Zam's script is often very funny and can occasionally be moving ... But at two and a half hours (including intermission), with 22 musical numbers and that mess of characters, there is a lack of focus".
Non-fiction
Non-fiction is the form of any narrative, account, or other communicative work whose assertions and descriptions are understood to be fact...
book by Dan Savage
Dan Savage
Daniel Keenan "Dan" Savage is an American author, media pundit, journalist and newspaper editor. Savage writes the internationally syndicated relationship and sex advice column Savage Love. Its tone is frank in its discussion of sexuality, often humorous, and hostile to social conservatives, as in...
. It was first published by Dutton in 1999. The book recounts the author's experiences during the process of adopting a child with his partner, Terry. Savage details for the reader his emotional states at various times during the adoption period and how it impacted his life.
The Kid is the recipient of a PEN West Award. It received favorable reception from The Philadelphia Inquirer
The Philadelphia Inquirer
The Philadelphia Inquirer is a morning daily newspaper that serves the Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, metropolitan area of the United States. The newspaper was founded by John R. Walker and John Norvell in June 1829 as The Pennsylvania Inquirer and is the third-oldest surviving daily newspaper in the...
, Salon
Salon.com
Salon.com, part of Salon Media Group , often just called Salon, is an online liberal magazine, with content updated each weekday. Salon was founded by David Talbot and launched on November 20, 1995. It was the internet's first online-only commercial publication. The magazine focuses on U.S...
, Feminist Economics, and The News Tribune, and a mixed review from Publishers Weekly
Publishers Weekly
Publishers Weekly, aka PW, is an American weekly trade news magazine targeted at publishers, librarians, booksellers and literary agents...
. Robin Williams
Robin Williams
Robin McLaurin Williams is an American actor and comedian. Rising to fame with his role as the alien Mork in the TV series Mork and Mindy, and later stand-up comedy work, Williams has performed in many feature films since 1980. He won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his performance...
Television
Television is a telecommunication medium for transmitting and receiving moving images that can be monochrome or colored, with accompanying sound...
in 2000. The book was adapted into a musical
Musical theatre
Musical theatre is a form of theatre combining songs, spoken dialogue, acting, and dance. The emotional content of the piece – humor, pathos, love, anger – as well as the story itself, is communicated through the words, music, movement and technical aspects of the entertainment as an...
in 2010 by librettist Michael Zam, with music composed by Andy Monroe, and lyrics by Jack Lechner. Christopher Sieber
Christopher Sieber
Christopher Sieber is an American actor. He is best known for his roles as Kevin Burke in Two of a Kind starring Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen and Lord Farquaad in Shrek the Musical. Christopher studied acting and musical comedy at The American Musical and Dramatic Academy in New York City...
starred in the lead role as Dan. It was performed Off-Broadway
Off-Broadway
Off-Broadway theater is a term for a professional venue in New York City with a seating capacity between 100 and 499, and for a specific production of a play, musical or revue that appears in such a venue, and which adheres to related trade union and other contracts...
in Theatre Row, New York City
Theatre Row (New York City)
Theatre Row is the popular name for a section of 42nd Street in New York City which is the location for a number of small theatres; it is also the name of a large theatre complex built in 2000 to house six theatres....
, and directed by Scott Elliott. The play was the recipient of the BMI Foundation
BMI Foundation
The BMI Foundation, Inc. is a non-profit organization founded in 1985 by executives of Broadcast Music Incorporated for the purpose of "encouraging the creation, performance and study of music through awards, scholarships, internships, grants, and commissions." Additionally, the Foundation makes...
Jerry Bock
Jerry Bock
Jerrold Lewis "Jerry" Bock was an American musical theater composer. He received the Tony Award for Best Musical and the Pulitzer Prize for Drama with Sheldon Harnick for their 1959 musical Fiorello! and the Tony Award for Best Composer and Lyricist for the 1964 musical Fiddler on the Roof with...
Award for Excellence in Musical Theatre in 2009.
Contents
LGBT
LGBT is an initialism that collectively refers to "lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender" people. In use since the 1990s, the term "LGBT" is an adaptation of the initialism "LGB", which itself started replacing the phrase "gay community" beginning in the mid-to-late 1980s, which many within the...
activist thought those who adopt children were ideal candidates if they were "men in their forties, together at least eight years, monogamous, professional, irreproachable, and unassailable." He expresses "a complex sense of moral obligation" in writing the narrative.
Terry, Savage's boyfriend at the time for two years, initially helped him look into the option of seeking out lesbian
Lesbian
Lesbian is a term most widely used in the English language to describe sexual and romantic desire between females. The word may be used as a noun, to refer to women who identify themselves or who are characterized by others as having the primary attribute of female homosexuality, or as an...
acquaintances to assist them in becoming biological parents. Savage writes, "Terry and I would be giving up certain things that, for better or worse, define what it means to be gay." Subsequently, they decided to go through the process of adoption
Adoption
Adoption is a process whereby a person assumes the parenting for another and, in so doing, permanently transfers all rights and responsibilities from the original parent or parents...
. Terry and Savage were connected with Melissa and communicated with her during her pregnancy. Savage discusses his anger at his grandmother over her homophobia
Homophobia
Homophobia is a term used to refer to a range of negative attitudes and feelings towards lesbian, gay and in some cases bisexual, transgender people and behavior, although these are usually covered under other terms such as biphobia and transphobia. Definitions refer to irrational fear, with the...
, his experiences in the bedroom including bondage
Bondage
Bondage may refer to:*Debt bondage, a modern form of slavery in which people are bound by debt, rather than legal ownership*Bondage , the practice of tying people up for pleasure*Self-bondage, the practice of tying oneself up for pleasure...
and other preferences, and his decision to become a father. He notes that an influential point in the process was viewing the distress from the baby's mother when she separated from her child. The author writes, "We're meant to have the baby we wind up getting, and no other." Savage describes the success at completing the adoption procedures as a form of "social victory."
Publication history
The Kid was first published by Dutton in 1999 as a hardcover edition. Plume publishing company released an e-bookE-book
An electronic book is a book-length publication in digital form, consisting of text, images, or both, and produced on, published through, and readable on computers or other electronic devices. Sometimes the equivalent of a conventional printed book, e-books can also be born digital...
in 1999. A subsequent edition was published in 2000 in London
London
London is the capital city of :England and the :United Kingdom, the largest metropolitan area in the United Kingdom, and the largest urban zone in the European Union by most measures. Located on the River Thames, London has been a major settlement for two millennia, its history going back to its...
by Fusion, and in the United States by Penguin Putnam Inc. A paperback edition was published by Plume in 2000. The book was published in Italian
Italian language
Italian is a Romance language spoken mainly in Europe: Italy, Switzerland, San Marino, Vatican City, by minorities in Malta, Monaco, Croatia, Slovenia, France, Libya, Eritrea, and Somalia, and by immigrant communities in the Americas and Australia...
in 2002 by Tascabili Degli Editori.
Reception
The Kid received a PEN Center USA West Award. It was recognized with the award in 2000, in the category of Excellence in Creative Nonfiction. Writing in the journal Feminist Economics, June Lapidus called The Kid a "warm, funny, and insightful book". Author Andrew R. Gottlieb wrote in the book Sons Talk About Their Gay Fathers: Life Curves, "Fast and funny, incisive and insightful, Dan Savage's (1999) The Kid is an exploration of one gay man's experience and one gay couple's experience confronting the open adoption bureaucracy. With razor-sharp scrutiny, Savage spares no one, including himself." A review for The News Tribune by Linda Dahlstrom commented that the book was quite moving, "In fact, that's one of the surprises of the book—that in the end, above everything else, it's a touching, funny story about an American family in the '90s." Gwen Florio of The Philadelphia InquirerThe Philadelphia Inquirer
The Philadelphia Inquirer is a morning daily newspaper that serves the Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, metropolitan area of the United States. The newspaper was founded by John R. Walker and John Norvell in June 1829 as The Pennsylvania Inquirer and is the third-oldest surviving daily newspaper in the...
described the section of the book where the child's mother gives the baby to his new parents as "the most wrenching scene." Entertainment Weekly
Entertainment Weekly
Entertainment Weekly is an American magazine, published by the Time division of Time Warner, that covers film, television, music, broadway theatre, books and popular culture...
characterized the work as "one of the best books published in 1999", and called the author's writing, "as moving as it is entertaining".
A review in Salon
Salon.com
Salon.com, part of Salon Media Group , often just called Salon, is an online liberal magazine, with content updated each weekday. Salon was founded by David Talbot and launched on November 20, 1995. It was the internet's first online-only commercial publication. The magazine focuses on U.S...
described the book as "a very moving memoir." Reviewer Daryl Lindsey commented, "Despite the expediency of their experience, the book is full of twists and turns, each subjected to Savage's snide and penetrating wit. And in an uncharacteristically wide-eyed mood, Savage provides a lovely tale about the thrill of anticipating a baby—even when it isn't yours (by birth)." Publishers Weekly
Publishers Weekly
Publishers Weekly, aka PW, is an American weekly trade news magazine targeted at publishers, librarians, booksellers and literary agents...
reviewed the work and commented, "Employing the blunt tone of his columns, Savage humorously and honestly discusses his sexual practices (including bondage and fantasies involving actor Matt Damon), his ambivalence about being a parent and his rage at his homophobic grandmother. His forthrightness is brave and daring in the face of social opposition to gay parenting." The review concluded, "However, though Savage's chatty, mercilessly satiric style is effective in his columns and may be intended here to balance the optimistic underpinnings of his journey into parenthood, in this sustained narrative it wears a bit thin."
Television
In 2000, the production company of Robin WilliamsRobin Williams
Robin McLaurin Williams is an American actor and comedian. Rising to fame with his role as the alien Mork in the TV series Mork and Mindy, and later stand-up comedy work, Williams has performed in many feature films since 1980. He won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his performance...
, Blue Wolf Productions, purchased the options to develop the book for television
Television
Television is a telecommunication medium for transmitting and receiving moving images that can be monochrome or colored, with accompanying sound...
.
Theatre
In 2010, The Kid was produced as a musicalMusical theatre
Musical theatre is a form of theatre combining songs, spoken dialogue, acting, and dance. The emotional content of the piece – humor, pathos, love, anger – as well as the story itself, is communicated through the words, music, movement and technical aspects of the entertainment as an...
Off-Broadway
Off-Broadway
Off-Broadway theater is a term for a professional venue in New York City with a seating capacity between 100 and 499, and for a specific production of a play, musical or revue that appears in such a venue, and which adheres to related trade union and other contracts...
. The play was developed by librettist Michael Zam. Music for the play was composed by Andy Monroe, with lyrics by Jack Lechner. Savage was portrayed by Christopher Sieber
Christopher Sieber
Christopher Sieber is an American actor. He is best known for his roles as Kevin Burke in Two of a Kind starring Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen and Lord Farquaad in Shrek the Musical. Christopher studied acting and musical comedy at The American Musical and Dramatic Academy in New York City...
. It was performed in Theatre Row, New York City
Theatre Row (New York City)
Theatre Row is the popular name for a section of 42nd Street in New York City which is the location for a number of small theatres; it is also the name of a large theatre complex built in 2000 to house six theatres....
, from The New Group
The New Group
The New Group, an Off-Broadway theater company located at Theatre Row, 410 West 42nd Street, is an artist-driven company with a commitment to developing and producing powerful, contemporary theater. Founded by Artistic Director Scott Elliott, The New Group produced its first play, Mike Leigh's...
, with director Scott Elliott. The Kid was the recipient of the BMI Foundation
BMI Foundation
The BMI Foundation, Inc. is a non-profit organization founded in 1985 by executives of Broadcast Music Incorporated for the purpose of "encouraging the creation, performance and study of music through awards, scholarships, internships, grants, and commissions." Additionally, the Foundation makes...
Jerry Bock
Jerry Bock
Jerrold Lewis "Jerry" Bock was an American musical theater composer. He received the Tony Award for Best Musical and the Pulitzer Prize for Drama with Sheldon Harnick for their 1959 musical Fiorello! and the Tony Award for Best Composer and Lyricist for the 1964 musical Fiddler on the Roof with...
Award for Excellence in Musical Theatre in 2009.
The New York Times
The New York Times
The New York Times is an American daily newspaper founded and continuously published in New York City since 1851. The New York Times has won 106 Pulitzer Prizes, the most of any news organization...
gave the musical a favorable review: "Vibrators, leather bars and good old-fashioned sodomy have never looked more wholesome than they do in The Kid." The Star-Ledger
The Star-Ledger
The Star-Ledger is the largest circulated newspaper in the U.S. state of New Jersey and is based in Newark. It is a sister paper to The Jersey Journal of Jersey City, The Times of Trenton and the Staten Island Advance, all of which are owned by Advance Publications.The Newark Star-Ledgers daily...
reviewer commented, "It's a really funny show. And rather touching, as well. A lot of the jokes are based on the would-be adoptive couple being two men. But the sharp humor is balanced with a sweetness and humanity that makes their emotional experience relatable for everyone." The New York Post
New York Post
The New York Post is the 13th-oldest newspaper published in the United States and is generally acknowledged as the oldest to have been published continuously as a daily, although – as is the case with most other papers – its publication has been periodically interrupted by labor actions...
gave the musical a rating of three and a half out of four stars, with reviewer Elisabeth Vincentelli writing, "The administrative roller coaster provides a gold mine of amusing material, but this tender, funny show is more about the emotional journey of becoming a parent for the first time." A review in the New York Daily News
New York Daily News
The Daily News of New York City is the fourth most widely circulated daily newspaper in the United States with a daily circulation of 605,677, as of November 1, 2011....
commented, "The show is well-meaning but surprisingly bland and corny." Jesse Oxfeld wrote for The New York Observer, "Michael Zam's script is often very funny and can occasionally be moving ... But at two and a half hours (including intermission), with 22 musical numbers and that mess of characters, there is a lack of focus".
See also
- HeterosexismHeterosexismHeterosexism is a system of attitudes, bias, and discrimination in favor of opposite-sex sexuality and relationships. It can include the presumption that everyone is heterosexual or that opposite-sex attractions and relationships are the only norm and therefore superior...
- LGBT adoption
- LGBT parentingLGBT parentingLGBT parenting refers to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people parenting one or more children. This includes children raised by same-sex couples , children raised by single LGBT parents, and children raised by an opposite-sex couple where at least one partner is LGBT.LGBT people can...
- LGBT rights
- Same-sex marriageSame-sex marriageSame-sex marriage is marriage between two persons of the same biological sex or social gender. Supporters of legal recognition for same-sex marriage typically refer to such recognition as marriage equality....
s and civil unionCivil unionA civil union, also referred to as a civil partnership, is a legally recognized form of partnership similar to marriage. Beginning with Denmark in 1989, civil unions under one name or another have been established by law in many developed countries in order to provide same-sex couples rights,...
s - Preacher's SonsPreacher's SonsPreacher's Sons is a 2008 American documentary film, by C. Roebuck Reed and Mark Nealey. It follows the lives of a Unitarian Universalist minister, his husband, and the five sons they adopted from the California foster care system...
- a documentary about a gay adoptive couple - Mommy MommyMommy MommyMommy Mommy is a 2007 documentary film directed by Sylvie Rosenthal about a Montreal lesbian couple's five-year long struggle to have a child.-Background:...
- a documentary about a lesbian adoptive couple
External links
- Dan Savage’s The Kid and 5 Other Gay Memoirs That Went Big, QueertyQueertyQueerty is a popular online magazine covering gay-oriented lifestyle and news, founded in 2005 by David Hauslaib..-Description:It is frequently referenced and quoted by mainstream media including the Los Angeles Times, ABC News, The New Republic, Entertainment Weekly, Salon, San Francisco...
- The Kid: Book Review, Narth, Reviewed By: James E. Phelan, LCSW