Track listing

1. The Twelve Pains of Christmas (3:36)
   • Parody of "The Twelve Days of Christmas
     The Twelve Days of Christmas (song)
     "The Twelve Days of Christmas" is an English Christmas carol that enumerates a series of increasingly grand gifts given on each of the twelve days of Christmas. Although first published in England in 1780, textual evidence may indicate the song is French in origin...
     
     ." Sung as a normal Christmas carol, with each verse comedically recited by a participant in the painful activity.
2. The Chimney Song (2:06)
   • Original song, sung by a young child (or impersonator). The song describes the ensuing months after Santa Claus
     Santa Claus
     Santa Claus is a folklore figure in various cultures who distributes gifts to children, normally on Christmas Eve. Each name is a variation of Saint Nicholas, but refers to Santa Claus...
     
      gets stuck in someone's chimney.
3. We Wish You Weren't Living With Us (0:44)
   • Parody of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas
     We Wish You a Merry Christmas
     "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" is a popular secular sixteenth-century English carol from the West Country of England. The origin of this Christmas carol lies in the English tradition where wealthy people of the community gave Christmas treats to the carolers on Christmas Eve such as 'figgy...
     
     ." Sung as a normal Christmas carol. About relatives who overstay their visit, becoming a nuisance to the host.
4. Wreck the Malls (2:02)
   • Parody of "Deck the Halls" performed as glam metal
     Glam metal
     Glam metal is a subgenre of hard rock and heavy metal that arose in the late 1970s and early 1980s in the United States, particularly on the Los Angeles Sunset Strip music scene...
     
     . About excessive Christmas shopping.
5. A Visit From St. Nicholson (4:30)
   • Parody of "A Visit from St. Nicholas
     A Visit from St. Nicholas
     "A Visit from St. Nicholas", also known as "The Night Before Christmas" and "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" from its first line, is a poem first published anonymously in 1823 and generally attributed to Clement Clarke Moore, although the claim has also been made that it was written by Henry...
     
     " by Clement Clark Moore, with actor Jack Nicholson
     Jack Nicholson
     John Joseph "Jack" Nicholson is an American actor, film director, producer and writer. He is renowned for his often dark portrayals of neurotic characters. Nicholson has been nominated for an Academy Award twelve times, and has won the Academy Award for Best Actor twice: for One Flew Over the...
     
      instead of St. Nicholas.
6. O Come All Ye Grateful Dead-Heads (1:23)
   • Parody of "O Come All Ye Faithful." Sung as a normal Christmas carol. Song about Grateful Dead
     Grateful Dead
     The Grateful Dead was an American rock band formed in 1965 in the San Francisco Bay Area. The band was known for its unique and eclectic style, which fused elements of rock, folk, bluegrass, blues, reggae, country, improvisational jazz, psychedelia, and space rock, and for live performances of long...
     
      fans.
7. I'm Dressin' Up Like Santa (When I Get Out On Parole) (3:06)
   • Original song, in the western swing
     Western swing
     Western swing music is a subgenre of American country music that originated in the late 1920s in the West and South among the region's Western string bands...
     
      genre.
8. The Restroom Door Said, "Gentlemen" (1:33)
   • Parody of "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen." Sung by an all-male a cappella
     A cappella
     A cappella music is specifically solo or group singing without instrumental sound, or a piece intended to be performed in this way. It is the opposite of cantata, which is accompanied singing. A cappella was originally intended to differentiate between Renaissance polyphony and Baroque concertato...
     
      chorus.
9. Foreigners (2:07)
   • Parody of "Angels We Have Heard on High
     Angels We Have Heard on High
     "Angels We Have Heard on High" is a Christmas carol. The song commemorates the story of the birth of Jesus Christ found in the Gospel of Luke, in which shepherds outside Bethlehem encounter a multitude of angels singing and praising the newborn child....
     
     ."
10. Joy to the World
    Joy to the World
    "Joy to the World" is a Christian Christmas carol.The words are by English hymn writer Isaac Watts, based on Psalm 98 in the Bible. The song was first published in 1719 in Watts' collection; The Psalms of David: Imitated in the language of the New Testament, and applied to the Christian state and...
    
     (1:22)
    • Hard rock instrumental version of traditional song.
11. A Message From the King (2:18)
    • Spoken word piece by Elvis Presley
      Elvis Presley
      Elvis Aaron Presley was one of the most popular American singers of the 20th century. A cultural icon, he is widely known by the single name Elvis. He is often referred to as the "King of Rock and Roll" or simply "the King"....
      
      impersonator. Depicted as Elvis being up in "rock 'n roll heaven" and giving a special message about the importance of Christmas while stuffing his face with various foods.