Animaniacs Quotations

Animaniacs, animated series, follow-up to Tiny Toon Adventures, home to Yakko, Wakko, and Dot, the Warner siblings; Pinky and the Brain; Rita and Runt; Chicken Boo; Slappy and Skippy Squirrel, Dr. Otto Scratchansniff; Ralph and many others.

Yakko, Wakko and Dot

[The Origin of the Warners]

Narrator: Newsreel of the Stars! Dateline: Hollywood, 1930, the Warner Bros. Studio. Here at the studio's new animation department, the artists toil endlessly to come up with cartoon stars, ultimately creating three new characters -- the Warner Brothers and their Sister Dot.

Yakko, Wakko & Dot: Helllooooo, Nurse!

Narrator: Unfortunately, the Warner kids were totally out of control.

Yakko, Wakko & Dot: Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy!

Narrator: The trio ran amok throughout the studio, until their capture. The Warners' films, which made absolutely no sense, were locked away in the studio vault, never to be released. As for the Warners themselves, who made even less sense, they were locked away in the studio water-tower, also never to be released. Publicly, the studio has disavowed any knowledge of the Warners' existence, to this very day -- when the Warners escaped!

Pablo Picasso: Oui oui!

Yakko: Pardon?

Picasso: Oui oui!

Yakko: Boy. The things you can get away with on kid shows these days.

Ms. Flamiel: Yakko, can you conjugate?

Yakko: Who, me? I never even kissed a girl.

Ms. Flamiel: No no no! It's easy. I'll conjugate with you.

Yakko: Goodnight, everybody!

Count Dracula: I am Count Dracula!

Yakko: Didn't you used to teach math on Sesame Street?

Dot: Or are you the kind of guy who never calls a girl? You cad! I'm leaving you! I'm going home to mother! Nyeeeh! And I'm keeping the ring!!

Dr. Scratchansniff: Do you know who I am?

Yakko: Dr. Otto Scratchansniff, world famous psychoanalyst to the stars?

Dr. Scratchansniff: Correct.

Yakko: I won! I won! What did I win?

Dr. Scratchansniff: Nothing.

Yakko: Say, what kind of game show is this?

Dr. Scratchansniff: This isn't a game show!

Yakko: Well I'll say it isn't. No one wins anything. You'll be lucky to be on the air for one week.

Ernest Hemingway: [in a woman's voice] Who is it?

Dot: Pushpen Office Supply delivery for... Mr. Ernest Hemingway.

Hemingway: Mr. Hemingway isn't here right now. This is, uh, Alice B. Toklas.

Warners: No you're not.

Hemingway: Yes I am.

Warners: [now inside the house] No you're not.

Hemingway: [normal voice] Aah!

Yakko: You can't fool us. Alice B. Toklas doesn't live here anymore!

Narrator: And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!

Yakko: I'm Yakko!

Wakko: I'm Wakko!

Dot: And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Balana-- Oh, shoot!

Yakko & Wakko: [laughing]

Director: Cut!!

Dot: Take two.

Yakko: Citizens of Anvilania, I stand before you, because if I was behind you, you couldn't see me.

Umlatt: No, no! This is the uniform of a great man!

Yakko: Does he know you're wearing it?

Umlatt: I am Umlatt of Donlikus, and I am here to demand you surrender Anvilania to me! I give you 24 hours to vacate!

Yakko: Vacation already? This is only my first day on the job!

Umlatt: I demand your surrender!

Yakko: I will not surrender! You surrender!

Umlatt: Me, surrender?

Yakko: Okay, I accept. Hand over the keys to your castle.

Umlatt: Don't be ridiculous! I'll go to war before I surrender!

Yakko: Well go ahead, and don't you come back until you've learned some manners, young man!

Umlatt: Very well, you silly child! [throwing his hands into the air] This means war!

Yakko: I thought that meant touchdown?

Arch Bishop: King Yakko, your throne.

Wakko: The throne? How do you lift the lid?

Dot: Since when do you lift the lid?

Narrator: And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!

Yakko: I'm Yakko!

Wakko: I'm Wakko!

Dot: And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fone-- Aaaaagh!

Director: Cut!

Yakko: Ladies and gentleman, Miss Banana Falana!

Wakko: [laughing] Banana Falana!

Dot: Oh, thanks for your support, Mr. P-Pop-Into-the-Mike!

Wakko: Oh, pooh! I never pop my P's!

Director: Uh, Wakko, we got a big P-pop on "pooh". Could we have that again?

Dot: HAH!

Ms. Flamiel: We'll move on to science. Dot, what can you tell me about the great scientists of the eighteenth century?

Dot: They're all dead.

Ms. Flamiel: No, no, no!

Dot: All right. They're all living.

Ms. Flamiel: No, no, no!

Yakko: Well, now we're getting into philosophy.

Dot: Do you think this plan will work?

Yakko: It better - we don't have any more commercial breaks.

Narrator: And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!

Yakko: I'm Yakko!

Wakko: I'm Wakko!

Dot: And I'm Pincess-- DAAAAAAAAGH!!!

Yakko & Wakko: Helloooo, Pincess! [laughing]

Wakko: Pincess!

Yakko: I love it!

Dot: Yeah, you try saying it sometime!

Yakko: "Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bobesca the Third".

Dot: Oh, thank you, Mr. United-States-Canada-Mexico-Panama. Big whoop. LET'S DO IT!

Yakko: I gotta tell you, that is the worst Peter Lorre impression I have ever heard.

Yakko: There they are, sibs — the Florida Keys... right between the Florida Pocket Lint and the Florida Spare Change.

Yakko: So, sister--who's really not my sister but I'm just calling sister--you were about to describe a caper.

Hello Nurse: Well, it's a little green pickle thing sometimes found in salads.

Yakko: That's absolutely correct! Tell her what she's won!

Wakko: A date with me!

Yakko: We were taken in the show when somebody tried to slip a mickey in my drink. Nice try, bub, but I work for Warner's!

Narrator: [sounding tired] And now... the stars of our show... the Warners.

Yakko: I'm still Yakko.

Wakko: I'm still Wakko.

Dot: And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Fo Foo --- STOP! WHYCANIGTITBYGDDITRBBITWHYGOTTOSTOPITAAUUUUUGH!!! [censor beeps heard throughout this]

Yakko: That's my cute little sister who said that! Goodnight, everybody!

Dr. Scratchansniff: Ah... I know vhat you kids vant, ja! You want to talk to Mr. Puppethead! [pulls out a hand puppet resembling him] Hello kids, I'm Mr. Puppethead! Tell me why you always make the jokes.

Warners: [look at the puppet awkwardly]

Dr. Scratchansniff: Why aren't you talking with Mr. Puppethead? No no, it iz very easy; watch me, watch me. Ahem. Hello, Mr. Puppethead, how are you? I am fine, Dr. Scratchansniff. How are you? I am fine, Mr. Puppethead. Did you have a yummy breakfast? Oh yes, yes! Very yummy. How was your breakfast? My breakfast was yummy as vell. [to the Warner siblings] Now you see? Isn't that easy?

Yakko: Ummm... are you sure you don't want to see a p-sychiatrist?

Dr. Scratchansniff: I am a p-sychi-- I mean psychiatrist! [tearing at his hair with the puppet] I AM! I AM! I AM! I AM!

Yakko: Mr. Puppethead's hungry.

Dr. Scratchansniff: [showing Dot an inkblot] What do you say to zis?

Dot: I'd say you're not a very good artist.

Dr. Scratchansniff: I didn't draw that.

Dot: Well, whoever did needs to go back to school.

Dr. Scratchansniff: No, it's an inkblot.

Dot: I'll say.

Dr. Scratchansniff: No, no, no. It's not supposed to look like anything!

Dot: Then you did a very good job.

Dr. Scratchansniff: I DIDN'T DRAW IT! Doesn't it looks like a little kitty cat or a butterfly or something?

Dot: No. [takes off the inkblot and changes it into a butterfly] That's a butterfly.

Dr. Scratchansniff: What's on your mind?

Wakko: My hat.

Dr. Scratchansniff: No, no, no. Your hat is on your head. What is on your mind?

Wakko: My... skin?

Dr. Scratchansniff: No, that's on your head. What's on your mind?

Wakko: Oh, I got it! My hair!

Dr. Scratchansniff: Your hair is on your head! [tears off some of his hair] THIS IS HAIR! THIS IS HAIR! IT'S NOT ON MY MIND! IT IS ON MY HEAD!

Wakko: No, it's in your hand.

Dr. Scratchansniff: Now then, Yakko, let us do a little word association, hm? I say a word, and you say any word that you think of; any word that comes to mind.

Yakko: Brain.

Dr. Scratchansniff: No, no, no. We haven't started yet.

Yakko: Begun.

Dr. Scratchansniff: No, wait.

Yakko: Yield.

Dr. Scratchansniff: No, stop!

Yakko: Cease.

Dr. Scratchansniff: SILENCE!

Yakko: Quiet.

Dr. Scratchansniff: ENOUGH!

Yakko: Plenty.

Dr. Scratchansniff: Would. You. Please. Listen!

Yakko: Hear.

Dr. Scratchansniff: NO, YOU STUPID KID! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!

Yakko: Comprehend.

Dr. Scratchansniff: [growls and prepares to throw Yakko out] Get out! Get out! Get OUT!

Yakko: Leave. Leave. Leave.

Dr. Scratchansniff: [kicks him out and slams the door, huffing and puffing] Those kids is driving me crazy!

Yakko: [pops his head through the door] Insane. Unhinged. Demented.

[After Yakko and Wakko tell him that if a delivers the Gettysburg Address, his head will be on the penny, and there'll be Lincoln's Birthday sales, etc.]

Abraham Lincoln: Just as long as they don't name a savings and loan after me!

Satan: Little fools! I am Lucifer! Beelzebub! The Reaper of Souls! The Really Angry One! I AM SATAN! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dot: So that's nothing! I'm: Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bobesca...the Third! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Satan: Blundering dolts! Don't you realize you've entered the firey realm of Hades?

Wakko: Hades? [Dashes back up to the surface, brings back a snowball, sets it down, and watches as it quicky melts] Boy, they were right! It didn't have a chance!

Satan: SILENCE! And now, prepare to suffer indescribable torment!

Yakko: Another Bob Hope special?

Satan: Worse!

Satan: Cerberus my pet, toss these fools into the Lake of Fire. But slowly. I want to watch them wiggle in agony.

Yakko: How about if we just wiggle here?

Warners: Wigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewiggle!

Flavio: Are you an inspector of the Yard?

Yakko: Not if you have a dog.

[Pizzas have been delivered by Chicken Boo]

Wakko: He was odd.

Dot: He was strange.

Bellboy: He was a chicken, I tell you! A giant chicken!

Dr. Scratchansniff: What are you drawing?

Wakko: It's a cow eating grass. [holds up a blank paper]

Dr. Scratchansniff: But where's the grass?

Wakko: The cow ate it.

Dr. Scratchansniff: Well, where's the cow?

Wakko: Well, he isn't going to stick around if there isn't any more grass to eat.

Thaddeus Plotz: A clown is my friend.

Dr. Scratchansniff: A clown vill not bite me und throw me in the basement.

Plotz: A clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.

Dr. Scratchansniff: A clown is not a big shpider.

Plotz: A clown is not a big spider.

Mr. Director: [gestures from one end of a table to another where the Warners appear then reappear] Hoyl! How'd you-? With the going- You were there, but here now! You are- for me to see! How'd you do?!

Yakko [To Wakko] You understand any of that?

Wakko I think he said: [repeats Mr. Director's lines]

Yakko Thanks for clearing that up.

Yakko Tell us, how can we help you?

Wakko: Yes, please tell us, please!

Dot: So that we can go home sometime in the near future?

Hello Nurse: Well, you see, it's about my boss. He's missing!

Yakko: He's missing what? Eyes? Hair? A personality?

Hello Nurse: Nononono. He's gone. My boss has vanished!

Yakko: [Jumps on the desk next to her] Would you do that "no, no, no" thing again?

Hello Nurse: Nononono.

Yakko: I love that! [goes back to his seat]

Hello Nurse: My boss has vanished!

Yakko: So I guess that means you're available for temp work?

Dot: This could conceivably go on forever.

Yakko: Now tell us, where did you last see your boss?

Hello Nurse: In the Mambo Room at the Tropicombo Club! A band was playing Latin dance music. I was with the doctor. He mumbled something. The band had a big, dumb guy playing the drums, and everyone was dancing under a pole. Then, the doctor vanished!

Yakko: Now let me get this straight: He muttered some Mumbo-Jumbo during the combo Samba in the Mambo at the Tropicombo, then there was a Jumbo Dumbo playing the Limbo on the Bongos and then he was gone?

Hello Nurse: That is absolutely correct!

[A You Bet Your Life-style fanfare plays]

Yakko: Tell her what she's won!

Wakko: Another date with me!

Hello Nurse: How come I always get the booby prize?

Dot: I'm not touching that one!

Yakko: [referring to a statue of Squit] Hey, it's that bird from the photo!

Minerva Mink: I'll take that!

Yakko and Wakko: Helllloooo, gorgeous mystery lady!

Minerva Mink: Never mind that. Just give me the bird!

Dot: We can't; this is a family show.

Minerva Mink: [takes the statue] Stay back, I'm packing a heater. [opens suitcase and reveals a heater]

Dot: You can't argue with that. It's too stupid.

Hello Nurse: I claim this statue in the name of Gulf and Western!

Minerva Mink: [Steals the statue from her] I claim it in the name of Rupert Murdoch!

Ralph: [Grabs Minerva by the tail, still reading his script] Duh, by gad, sir! I claim it in the name of Matsushimi- err, Matsushudi- duuh... uh, for Seagrams!

Yakko: Ah, I've got it! The Mink is working for Fox, the Pair 'o legs is working for Paramount, and the guy who needs rehearsal is working for Universal!

Dot: Thank you, Dr. Seuss.

Dot: [referring to David Geffen, Jeffrey Katzenberg, and Steven Spielberg] Who are those guys?

Yakko: The stuff that DreamWorks are made of!

Wakko: Look! It's a big, fat fanny!

Yakko: And the moral of today's story is: brush your teeth before every meal. This lesson brought to you by the American Dental Association.

Dot: That makes me feel all kind of warm and squishy. Either that or I need to wear diapers.

Dot: Do you think Scratchy'd like some cologne?

Fifi Le Fume: We have Obsession, Repression, and Ecstasy!

Dot: Do you have anything for beginners?

Dot: Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy... so he changed his name to Ed Asner. Thank you!

Dot: [reciting a poem] Roses are red, Violets are blue.

That's what they say, but it just isn't true.

Roses are red, and apples are too.

But violets are violet. Violets aren't blue.

An orange is orange, but Greenland's not green.

A pinky's not pink, so what does it mean?

To call something blue when it's not, we defile it.

But aww, what the heck? It's hard to rhyme "violet."

Dot: I'm a little teapot, short and stout! This is my handle, (pulls out a note from behind her) and here is a note from my shrink! He says I'm getting better! LAST WEEK I THOUGHT I WAS A TOASTER OVEN! [Laughs insanely] Thank you.

Yakko: [After a mean TV anchorman locks the Warners in a control booth] If he locked us in the control booth, he must want us to take control!

Yakko: Wherever there is belching-

Wakko/Dot: We'll be there!

Yakko: Wherever there is stupidity-

Wakko/Dot: We'll be there!

Yakko: Wherever there is candy-

Wakko: We'll be there a lot quicker!

Dot: I found Prince! [She is carrying Prince, the pop music artist]

Yakko: No, no, no. Fingerprints!

Dot: [Considers a moment] I don't think so. [She throws Prince out of the window]

Dot: Old King Cole was a merry old sole and a merry old sole was he. He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl, and he called information for numbers he could've easily looked up in the phone book! Thank you.

Wakko: Hey, you wanna hear a joke?

Dr. Scratchansniff: No! I don't like ze jokes, Wakko!

Wakko: Not even a knock-knock joke?

Dr. Scratchansniff: NO!

[Wakko and Dr. Scratchansniff sit quietly for a moment.]

Wakko: It's really funny.

Dr. Scratchansniff: Oh, alright, fine. One joke.

Wakko: Knock-knock!

Dr. Scratchansniff: Who's there?

Wakko: Max!

Dr. Scratchansniff: ...Max, who?

Wakko: Max wants to come in and go crazy!

Dr. Scratchansniff: [looks at the audience, confused, then back at Wakko] Uhm... Okay, now that's not really a joke, is it? You see, because it makes no sense.

Wakko: It does if you know Max.

Dr. Scratchansniff: But I don't KNOW Max!!

Wakko: If you did, you'd be laughin`!

Baloney: Looks like it's just us! (laughs)

Dot: Imagine our delight!

Baloney: Imagine? Why, I love to imagine! But I need a little help from the prince and pricesses of props!

(prince and princesses of props walk by and set up the props)

Yakko and Wakko: Hellooooooooo, prince and princesses of props nurses!

Baloney: Now, want to sing "The Imagine Song?"

Yakko: Uh, not really. Is that cute girl coming back?

Baloney: Cute girl? Gosh-ums, Yakko! I don't know what you're talking about!

Yakko: There's a shocker!

Baloney: (singing) I is for imagine, M is for me, A is for the letter A, G is for gee, I is for...imagine, N is for nice, E is for e gad! I said imagine twice! (Laughs)

Yakko: (sarcastically) Great song!

Baloney: Thanks! Let's hug!

Yakko: Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh, why don't you just go ahead and imagine that too, huh?

Baloney: Okay! I love me! Yum-yum-doodle-dum!

Yakko: Yeah. Well, it's been fun, friend, but we have to get back to "planet reality" now.

Baloney: (misinterpreting the comment) Great idea! Let's play "astronauts in outer space!" (Laughs) Hello, Mission Control! (laughs again)

Yakko: Hello, Baloney. (mocks Baloney's laugh) Our sensors show you're out of oxygen!

Wakko: Goodbye!

Dot: You'll be remembered as a hero!

Baloney: (acts like he's about to choke) Maybe we should stop pretending!

Yakko: Could be tough. We have very strong imaginations!

Baloney: You're silly! (laughs)

Yakko: Boy, that's the pot calmed the kettle black!

Baloney: I know! Let's make masks and guess who we are! (sings) I hold up a mask, lingie-lingie-loo, you guess who I am, lingie-lingie-loo! (laughs)

Wakko: Are we being punished?

Yakko and Dot: (sadly) Yes. (All turn to face Baloney, who is holding a paper plate with what is supposed to be his face colored in orange over his face.)

Baloney: Guess who? (laughs)

Wakko: (intentionally) Is it...Abraham Lincoln?

Baloney: (laughs) No.

Dot: Hmmm...could it be Nancy Kerrigan?

Baloney: (laughs) No!

Yakko: Is it a...big fat, polyester dinosaur who's the color of an International House of Pancake with a paper plate over his face?

Baloney: (removes plate) No! It's me! Baloney!

Warners: You're kidding!

(the whole thing is sung)

Warners and Baloney: We love you!

Baloney: I love we!

Warners: He's as dumb as dumb can be! (Baloney laughs)

Warners and Baloney: But we found a way that we can get along.

Baloney: I stand still...

Warners and Baloney: ...for the anvil song!

(Baloney laughs as the Warners pull away, anvil drops on his head and he laughs again)

Slappy Squirrel

Slappy: Now that's comedy!

Woman: Well! I never!

Slappy: Well, you should--it's fun!

Slappy: Tactless, yet rude.

Slappy: You remind me of a very young Betty Boop.

(Slappy throws away can into a random trash can)

Female Chipmunk: Excuse me!

Slappy: You're excused

Slappy: If I were a better person, I'd ignore her and go on with my life. But I'm not.

Slappy: Skippy, in most cases, revenge is not the right thing. In other cases, it's the only thing.

Slappy: What about the plot, Hemingway? What's an anvil got to do with this story?

Skippy: Who cares? Anvils are funny!

Slappy: I'm gonna make you some brain food. That's right, I'm gonna make you my famous walnut fig dough surprise.

Skippy: What's the surprise?

Slappy: I'm outta walnuts.

Slappy: Look, Skippy. I've seen and done every trick in the book- [Skippy sees a large dog looming behind Slappy] Hold it there! You're doing the old "Frozen Take" bit, which means Doug the Dog... [Pulls a club out of her purse and clonks Doug without looking] ...was right behind me. Heh-heh-heh!

Slappy: What a schmutz.

Stinkbomb: It's our sworn duty to chase 'em, catch 'em, and shake 'em like rag dolls!

Bumpo: Why?

Stinkbomb: I dunno. It's what we do.

[Slappy's cartoons have just received terrible reviews from Lean Hisskill and Codger Eggbert]

Skippy: Those mean men! How could they say such horrible things?!

Slappy: Now Skippy, it's a free country. Everyone's entitled to his own opinion.

Skippy: But they're wrong! You're the funniest cartoon character ever!

Slappy: Calm down, Skippy.

Skippy: We can't let 'em get away with it, Aunt Slappy! [Runs to a closet and comes out with bandoleers of bullets and a pair of small missiles] Let's get em!

Slappy: Skippy, no! What are you thinkin'?

Skippy: [Looks sorry] Oh. You're right, Aunt Slappy... [Goes back into the closet, and pulls out an even bigger pair of missiles] We'll need the big bombs!

Slappy: That's better, kid! C'mon, let's blow 'em to Kingdom Come!

Skippy: This has been the worst day ever in the whole wide world.

Slappy: You mean Mel Brooks made a sequel to Robin Hood: Men in Tights?

Slappy: Gotta watch my figure. Hey, somebody's gotta watch it! [lifts up her fur to reveal shapely legs] Heh heh heh heh heh!

Slappy: Allen Funt is a dead man.

Slappy: Whatever happened to "Go get 'em, Aunt Slappy"?!

Skippy: That was before I knew you were a murderer.

Slappy: Suddenly my biggest fan is turnin' into Perry Mason here!

Skippy: Perry Mason? Join the 90s!

Slappy: You want modern reference? I'm old! [pause] Kids!

Who's on Stage

[For reference, see: Who's On First?.]

[Slappy and Skippy {circa 1969} have woken up to find that Woodstock has sprung up around their tree]

Slappy: Skippy, what's the name of that group playing on stage?

Skippy: Who.

Slappy: The name of the group.

Skippy: Who.

Slappy: The group on stage.

Skippy: Who.

Slappy: The group playing on stage!

Skippy: Who!

Slappy: You're starting to sound like an owl, Skippy.

Skippy: Who is on stage!

Slappy: That's what I'm asking you. Who is on stage?

Skippy: That's what I said!

Slappy: You said who?

Skippy: I sure did!

Slappy: So tell me the name

Skippy: Who.

Slappy: The name of the group

Skippy: Who.

Slappy: The group on stage.

Skippy: Who!

Slappy: The name of the band on stage.

Skippy: Who!

Slappy: You're doing that owl thing again, Skippy!

Skippy: I'm not, Aunt Slappy! I'm telling you Who's on stage!

Slappy: So tell me.

Skippy: Who.

Slappy: The name of the group.

Skippy: Who.

Slappy: The group on stage.

Skippy: Who!

Slappy: That's what I'm asking you!

Skippy: And I'm telling you the answer!

[Slappy, annoyed, looks towards the fourth wall]

Slappy: Wait, Skippy, let's start over. Is there a band on stage?

Skippy: Yes.

Slappy: Does that band have a name?

Skippy: Yes.

Slappy: Do you know the name of the band?

Skippy: Yes!

Slappy: So tell me the name of the band on stage.

Skippy: Who.

Slappy: The name of the band.

Skippy: Who.

Slappy: The band on stage!

Skippy: Who!

Slappy: The band playing on stage!

Skippy: Who!

Slappy: That's what I wanna know!

Skippy: I'm telling you!

Slappy: Who is on stage?

Skippy: Yes.

Slappy: Who is?

Skippy: Yes.

Slappy: Oh, so the name of the band is Yes.

Skippy: No Aunt Slappy, Yes isn't even at this concert!

Slappy: Then who is on stage?

Skippy: Yes!

Slappy: Who is?

Skippy: Yes!

Slappy: That's what I just said, Yes is on stage.

Skippy: No, Yes is not here, Who is on stage!

Slappy: What are you asking me for?

Skippy: I'm not!

Slappy: Wait. Let's try this again! Do you see the band on stage?

Skippy: No I don't see The Band, that's a different group entirely!

Slappy: On stage, Skippy! Look, see the band?

Skippy: No I don't!

Slappy: Get rid of those John Lennon glasses and look! There! There's the band!

Skippy: No, that's not The Band. The Band is performing later on! Who is on stage!

Slappy: You tell me.

Skippy: Who!

Slappy: The name of the group on stage!

Skippy: Who!

Slappy: The name of the group!

Skippy: Who!

Slappy: The group on stage!

Skippy: Who!

Slappy: THE BAND!

Skippy: No, The Band is performing later. Right now we're listening to Who!

Slappy: That's what I wanna know!

[The crowd around them start to cheer at them. Slappy winks at Skippy, and they both bow]

Miscellaneous

Colin: Okay, so one time Randy Beaman's cat ate this fish from the fish tank, but the fish was a piranha. It lived inside the cat forever and the cat became... Piranha Cat. 'Kay, bye.

Colin: Okay, one time, Randy Beaman's mom's best friend, whose name is Linda, wanted to get a tan more than anything. So she went to a tanning salon and she stayed there so long she boiled her guts. 'Kay, bye.

Colin: Okay, one time Randy Beaman woke up in the middle of the night and he saw Dracula but he thought it was just his clothes in the closet acting up, then he turned on the light and it really was Dracula. 'Kay, bye.

Colin: One time Randy Beaman ate popcorn and drank soda at the same time and his head exploded! 'Kay, bye.

Buster & Babs Bunny: Buster and Babs Bunny. No relation.

Noah: Let's hope not, it's a children's show.

God: I've decided to make it rain for forty days and forty nights. I comand thee to build an ark.

Noah: Ok, fine. What's an ark?

Indiana Jones: It's what I've been searching for! It's this incredible bejeweled box containing the power of the heavens. And it melts Nazis.

Katie Ka-Boom: I AM NOT OVERREACTING! I AM A TEENAGER!

Runt: That's not a cat! That's Rita! Rita's a dog!