Sid the Sexist
Encyclopedia
Sid the Sexist is a character from the English comic book Viz. The strip was created and mostly drawn by Simon Donald
until he left the magazine in 2003, when Paul Palmer
took over as artist. The character was based in part on a friend of Viz editor Chris Donald.
, drinks heavily, always has a cigarette in his mouth and is cowardly despite his macho pretensions, always coming off the worse in a fight. He is also in denial: despite the misfortunes that befall him he continues to display a blind faith in his crude attitude towards women and, when rejected, often tries to pass the blame for his failure on to the woman in question or somebody else.
The recurrent format of Sid's adventures is that he believes he has found a new approach to women that will secure him a ('This time... this time! It HAS to be this time!!') and invariably ends up being humiliated, often painfully. His attempts have also unintentionally led to several homosexual encounters which reveal his homophobia or, perhaps, latent homosexuality.
In an early issue of Viz, Sid approaches a woman with; 'How, pet, my name's Sid. D'ya fancy a fuck?' When answered with a definite 'No!', he continues: 'Well, would you mind lying down while I have one?' In another episode he attempts to pick up a woman by telling her that he works as 'an assistant to a well-established provider of goods to the younger end of the market'; despite being exposed as an elf in Santa's grotto in a local department store' by his derisive mates, he still attempts to keep up the pretence that his job brings him success with women--'Y'see lasses fancy summat [something] a bit special'. Although Sid's three companions do sometimes succeed with women, they are much like him in their yobbish
, misogynistic, homophobic and racist outlook, never marry or expand their stagnant social circle.
. Finally at the end of the night, Sid vomits outside a kebab
shop as Joe places their orders and Bob urinates up a lamp post, Baz comforting Sid by stating "It just shows ye had a good night" and Sid claiming he wants "plenty onions" on his kebab in between heaves.
following an argument in the pub over where to go, resulting in Joe giving Sid a black eye for calling him a "fat git". On the plane things instantly go bad for Sid after an air stewardess on the plane "accidentally" spills hot coffee on his crotch. Once they arrive Sid instantly begins abusing the locals and other tourists, embarrassing the others and earning himself another punch in the face for his trouble. Later on whilst out by the pool Sid refuses to put on sunscreen
as he believes that as it's the same sun as the one in Newcastle, it can't do him any harm. As the sun quickly goes to Sid's head he tries it on with a Swiss woman before mistaking her and her partner for Germans, mouthing off very loudly about the 1966 World Cup
. The police arrive and try to calm him down and get him out of the sun but he continues to hurl abuse at them, resulting in him being beaten up, arrested and deported. Baz, Bob and Joe see out their holiday on the beach with girls they have pulled whilst a heavily-bandaged Sid tries and fails to chat up a woman on a bench in a rain-soaked Whitley Bay
.
Sid has finally scored with a woman at last until suddenly, he discovers a white patch on his bed sheet (he has had a wet dream.) He hears his mother calling him and realizes it was all a dream. He gives a sad groan, and goes back to sleep.
. He decides to go on the show in an attempt to meet a woman. After going on the show he invites the oblivious Joe, Bob and Baz round to his house to watch the episode in which Sid goes up against a slow-witted Brummie and a swaggering Londoner to win a date with a posh but naive woman. Despite Sid being his usual obnoxious self, the woman mistakes his crudeness for some kind of likeable northern sense of humour. The woman chooses Sid as her date, much to the surprise of everyone watching. After the episode goes out, Sid suddenly finds himself being very popular.
Later on, Sid's mother and his mates go to London to see him and the woman discuss their date on the following episode. But at the BBC Television Centre
, Baz causes trouble when he calls the security guard a "cheeky Cockney twat" after being told that they should have gone to the London Weekend Television
studios instead. They finally get to the right place but during the show it is discovered that Sid's date had not gone so well due his misapprehension that sex would be involved. Afterwards Sid asks the lady if they would like to make out in the dressing room. The lady finally snaps and punches him in the testicles. Later in hospital, Baz tells Sid he was doing fine until the lady punched him in his plums. The doctor appears and tells Sid one of his testicles will emerge within a couple of years. Sid gives a horrified gulp.
Later, Sid is still outside the Newsagent smoking a cigarette. A boy comes along and Sid gives him some money to buy a dirty magazine for him. The woman comes along, and Sid apologizes for what happened earlier. The boy returns and tells Sid: "Mister, I can not reach Mammoth Melons. Will Gigantic Jugs Of Joy do?". Sid gulps, and the woman walks crossly away. Later at Sid's house, his friends call for him. His mother opens the door, and tells them he is in his room. As they open the door, they find Sid masturbating over some dirty magazines. He looks up at his friends and goes red in the face.
Simon Donald
Simon Donald is a co-founder and was co-editor of the British comic magazine Viz until 2003.He set up the magazine in 1979 with his brother Chris from a bedroom in Newcastle. His most famous creation for the magazine is probably Sid the Sexist....
until he left the magazine in 2003, when Paul Palmer
Paul Palmer
Paul Palmer may refer to:* Paul Palmer , British author and journalist* Paul Palmer , co-founder of the American Free Will Baptists* Paul Palmer , British swimmer...
took over as artist. The character was based in part on a friend of Viz editor Chris Donald.
Character
While Sid and his mates Baz, Bob and Joe, who are all Geordies, brag continually about their sexual prowess, each strip centres around his struggle to lose his virginity. He still lives with his mother. He is a desperate 30 year-old, unable or unwilling to use any kind of decorum when approaching women, using outrageously crude lines. Sid seems under-educated and knows little of the world outside Newcastle. It is even claimed at one point that he is unable to read. He is physically very unfit, has a prominent beer bellyAbdominal obesity
Abdominal obesity, colloquially known as belly fat or clinically as central obesity, is the accumulation of abdominal fat resulting in an increase in waist size...
, drinks heavily, always has a cigarette in his mouth and is cowardly despite his macho pretensions, always coming off the worse in a fight. He is also in denial: despite the misfortunes that befall him he continues to display a blind faith in his crude attitude towards women and, when rejected, often tries to pass the blame for his failure on to the woman in question or somebody else.
The recurrent format of Sid's adventures is that he believes he has found a new approach to women that will secure him a ('This time... this time! It HAS to be this time!!') and invariably ends up being humiliated, often painfully. His attempts have also unintentionally led to several homosexual encounters which reveal his homophobia or, perhaps, latent homosexuality.
In an early issue of Viz, Sid approaches a woman with; 'How, pet, my name's Sid. D'ya fancy a fuck?' When answered with a definite 'No!', he continues: 'Well, would you mind lying down while I have one?' In another episode he attempts to pick up a woman by telling her that he works as 'an assistant to a well-established provider of goods to the younger end of the market'; despite being exposed as an elf in Santa's grotto in a local department store' by his derisive mates, he still attempts to keep up the pretence that his job brings him success with women--'Y'see lasses fancy summat [something] a bit special'. Although Sid's three companions do sometimes succeed with women, they are much like him in their yobbish
Yobbo
Yobbo or yob is a slang term for an uncouth or thuggish working-class person. The word derives from a back slang reading of the word "boy" .-Britain:Dr. C. T...
, misogynistic, homophobic and racist outlook, never marry or expand their stagnant social circle.
Mates
- Bob: a short man with a wide, flat head, a crooked nose and a crew-cut whose outfit of choice is jeans and a hooded sweater. Bob thinks most highly of Sid, is often in awe of him and his alleged power over women, is normally the first to encourage Sid in the his disastrous attempts at womanising and usually believes all but the most feeble of Sid's excuses for his failures.
- Joe is the tough guy of the group due to his strength, large size and limited intelligence but is a rather peaceful person, often the one who tries to break up the fights and disputes that break out between Sid, Bob and Baz.
- Baz is the most successful of Sid's friends, often seen wearing a suit or jacket with parted hair and a moustache. Baz is much more openly sceptical about Sid's abilities with women than Bob and Joe, once referring to Sid as being "all talk and no tackle". He is the only one of Sid's friends who comes close to seeing through his hollow bragging and is not afraid to suggest to Sid's face that he is still a virgin, often resulting in the two falling out or fighting.
Storylines
- The lads realise that they could stand to lose some weight and go to the recreation centre to swim. Sid stuffs socks in his bathing suit to give the impression he has large genitals in order to impress the female lifeguard but reveals that he cannot swim and so cannot enter the deep end with his friends but has to go splash around the area reserved for the "bairnsChildBiologically, a child is generally a human between the stages of birth and puberty. Some vernacular definitions of a child include the fetus, as being an unborn child. The legal definition of "child" generally refers to a minor, otherwise known as a person younger than the age of majority...
". After being caught urinating in the pool ("Missus! That man's havvin' a wee!"), Sid is warned by the female lifeguard. True to form, Sid tells his friends that he's "well in". Challenged by his friends to impress her he jumps into the deep end of the pool "dive bomber" style, panics and forces the lifeguard to save him, causing the socks to spill out of his bathing suit.
- The lads go out for Sid's cousin's stag night in BlackpoolBlackpoolBlackpool is a borough, seaside town, and unitary authority area of Lancashire, in North West England. It is situated along England's west coast by the Irish Sea, between the Ribble and Wyre estuaries, northwest of Preston, north of Liverpool, and northwest of Manchester...
. Everyone gets progressively more drunk and at the end of the evening Sid storms off to find a woman while his cousin is handcuffed, naked and protesting, to a street lamp. The next day Baz reads a newspaper with the headline "Youth Dies of Exposure in Blackpool". Sid, meanwhile, wakes up with a hangover and sees a head of curly blonde hair in the bed next to him. Thinking he has finally "pulled", he asks his "date" if she fancies another ride and is terrified when the owner of the blonde hair is a rather large man, who calls him "Sidney, my love" and tells him to "roll over".
- The lads are puzzled by Sid's refusal to drink his usual bottle of Newcastle Brown AleNewcastle Brown AleNewcastle Brown Ale is a beer produced by Heineken International. It was introduced in 1927 by Newcastle Breweries. In 2005, brewing was moved out of Newcastle upon Tyne for the first time, to Dunston on the other side of the River Tyne, and in 2010 moved entirely to Tadcaster, North Yorkshire...
, instead ordering orange squash. Sid finally reveals his reason for abstaining: he has driven his recently purchased car to the pub. His friends insist on him giving them a ride but Sid promptly crashes into a police car. The officer is a policewoman, which prompts Sid to state that he's got the matter handled, whereby he proceeds to relate a rather crude joke about how female officers part their hair. The last panel features another police officer telling Sid "your mates reckon they're gonna kill you", so "for his own safety" he is placed in a cell with a violent sexual offender who has pictures of naked men taped to his cell wall.
- Going horse riding in the belief that women become aroused by being rubbed by their saddle, an upper-class looking woman does indeed offer Sid a roll in the hay. Unfortunately for Sid his resulting cry of excitement shocks a nearby horse which then kicks him in the crotch, sending him to hospital.
- Sid buys a self-help book purporting to teach success with women and brags to his friends that he will reveal the amazing secrets it contains, 'only when me cock's fallen off!' Sid's one attempt at using the method in the book and a vile-smelling pheromone spray supplied with it results only in a very rude and embarrassing rejection. Later that night, Bob, Baz and Joe have all found girls but poor Sid wanders home alone, miserable and still smelling foul.
- Sid makes a £1000 bet with his friend Baz that he can seduce a woman within a week. He attempts hypnosis on a nun, who kicks him in his genitals, buys another pheromone spray (Pig Piss) which only attracts a blind woman's guide dog and makes a desperate approach to Millie TantMillie TantMillicent 'Millie' Buckridge Tant is a fictional comic-strip character in the British comic, Viz.A caricature of the militant feminist, Millie thinks of herself as a champion of "Wimmin's" rights but is often self-centered and dismissive of the feelings of others. She rants, raises her fist in the...
, who repays him with yet another vicious kick. The final frame has Sid begging his mother for £1000 to pay his debt.
- Going to BarcelonaBarcelonaBarcelona is the second largest city in Spain after Madrid, and the capital of Catalonia, with a population of 1,621,537 within its administrative limits on a land area of...
, for Joe's brother's stag nightBachelor partyA bachelor party , also known as a stag party, stag night or stag do , a bull's party , or a buck's party or buck's night , is a party held for a man shortly before he enters marriage, to celebrate his "last night of freedom" or merely to spend...
, Sid, the best man, demands to go to a sex show and pays all the entrance fees. At the show, a beautiful woman wants a volunteer for a 'strip' - Sid instantly jumps on the stage. The woman blindfolds him, asks him to bend over and a man dressed in a gorillaGorillaGorillas are the largest extant species of primates. They are ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous apes that inhabit the forests of central Africa. Gorillas are divided into two species and either four or five subspecies...
suit takes him from behind.
- Sid and his friends travel to BangkokBangkokBangkok is the capital and largest urban area city in Thailand. It is known in Thai as Krung Thep Maha Nakhon or simply Krung Thep , meaning "city of angels." The full name of Bangkok is Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahintharayutthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom...
after hearing that prostitutes there will sell themselves for as little as a pound. Sid is robbed at gun point by one of these ladies after being tied to the bedpost. The final scene shows Sid trying to earn his flight home by working as a homosexual prostitute.
- During a drinking session with Baz, Bob and Joe, Sid hears about the myth that you get a prostitute sent up to your hotel room if you call reception and ask for "an extra pillow". He dismisses the idea as ridiculous in front of his friends but, sure enough, books himself into a cheap TravelodgeTravelodge UKTravelodge Hotels Limited is a private company operating in the hotels and hospitality industry throughout the United Kingdom. Branded simply as Travelodge or Travelodge UK, it is the second largest in the budget hotel sector and third biggest hotel chain in the UK by number of bedrooms...
hotel later on and calls reception, asking for an "extra pillow". The hotel reception sends a maid up to his room with an actual extra pillow. Sid mistakes the maid for a prostitute and takes his clothes off in front of her, resulting in him being hospitalised after a serious beating. Later in hospital, after telling his mates some less-than-convincing lies about the origins of his injuries, Sid is asked by the doctor if he would like "an extra pillow" to make him feel better. Sid takes the offer literally and accepts, only for the doctor to return with a prostitute.
- Joe points out that Sid, if he had a new wardrobe and hairstyle, bears an uncanny resemblance to a pop starPop Star"Pop Star" is a 2005 single from Japanese singer Ken Hirai. The single went on to top the 2005 Oricon Charts and is known for its remarkable music video, featuring Ken in seven different personas, including a raccoon and his own manager. The Video also helped Ken break into the US and Canadian...
and girls flock to him after being made to look like the artist in question. So he goes along with this deception to pull women and invites them back to his house for a "rock'n'rurl orgy", only for it to be announced that the pop star in question has come outComing outComing out is a figure of speech for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people's disclosure of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity....
in the press as gay. The girls are disgusted, only for Sid's homophobiaHomophobiaHomophobia is a term used to refer to a range of negative attitudes and feelings towards lesbian, gay and in some cases bisexual, transgender people and behavior, although these are usually covered under other terms such as biphobia and transphobia. Definitions refer to irrational fear, with the...
to be exposed when he's chased by gay men who fancy him (Or rather, the pop starPop Star"Pop Star" is a 2005 single from Japanese singer Ken Hirai. The single went on to top the 2005 Oricon Charts and is known for its remarkable music video, featuring Ken in seven different personas, including a raccoon and his own manager. The Video also helped Ken break into the US and Canadian...
he's mistaken for).
- Sid is introduced to the friend of one of his mates' girlfriends, an attractive dark-haired woman who offers sexual innuendos ("a brandy would make me randy") and flirts constantly with Sid, who is totally off his game and flustered. At the end of the evening, Sid has taken the lady back to his place, where she has proceeded to strip off and awaits him in bed completely nude. Sid strips (thinking "This is it!"), and admonishes his date to keep quiet (as he's afraid her now-blatant sexual banter will awaken his mother). Unfortunately for Sid, that's exactly what happens, as his mum walks in carrying a tray with snacks, stating she heard him "bring in a friend" who "mustn't stay long, mind."
- While in the pub with his mates, Baz mentions to Sid how all librarians are 'dorty' and sex-mad, using the rather flimsy reasoning that they're surrounded by eroticaEroticaErotica are works of art, including literature, photography, film, sculpture and painting, that deal substantively with erotically stimulating or sexually arousing descriptions...
and dictionaries full of 'naughty words' all day. Later on, an excited Sid goes to the libraryLibraryIn a traditional sense, a library is a large collection of books, and can refer to the place in which the collection is housed. Today, the term can refer to any collection, including digital sources, resources, and services...
and after some harmless innuendo from the female librarian ("I've got to go and deal with a gentleman who's been stood with a hard one in his hands for ages") he exposes himself on the counter, and is later charged in court with indecent exposureIndecent exposureIndecent exposure is the deliberate exposure in public or in view of the general public by a person of a portion or portions of his or her body, in circumstances where the exposure is contrary to local moral or other standards of appropriate behavior. Indecent exposure laws vary in different...
.
- Sid and the lads once went down to London to go to some strip clubs in SohoSohoSoho is an area of the City of Westminster and part of the West End of London. Long established as an entertainment district, for much of the 20th century Soho had a reputation for sex shops as well as night life and film industry. Since the early 1980s, the area has undergone considerable...
, only to hire a taxi operated by fellow Viz character Cockney WankerCockney WankerCockney Wanker is a character from Viz based on a stereotype of the male Cockney. He is a thief, conman and charlatan who speaks in impenetrable rhyming slang and spends his days drinking, selling stolen or unworkable goods to passers-by on the streets and being violent to his wife...
, who takes them on a detour via BrightonBrightonBrighton is the major part of the city of Brighton and Hove in East Sussex, England on the south coast of Great Britain...
and cons them out of all their money. Left with only £10 the lads decide to at least have a drink before going home, and get lured into a clip jointClip jointA clip joint or fleshpot is an establishment, usually a strip club or entertainment bar, typically one claiming to offer adult entertainment or bottle service, in which customers are tricked into paying money and receive poor goods or services, or none, in return...
by a man promising a free sex show. The owner attempts to charge them £1,400 for four pints of lager. Bob, Baz and Joe agree to go to a cash point and get the money, while leaving Sid as "security," but hop back on the train to Newcastle at the first available chance. The last panel of the story sees Sid badly bruised, in his underwear and attempting to hitch-hike on the M1M1 motorwayThe M1 is a north–south motorway in England primarily connecting London to Leeds, where it joins the A1 near Aberford. While the M1 is considered to be the first inter-urban motorway to be completed in the United Kingdom, the first road to be built to motorway standard in the country was the...
.
Television
Sid also starred in a spinoff animated cartoon in 1992 (also called Sid the Sexist) which was aired on Channel 4. The video was released in 1992 by Polygram Video, and the DVD was released in 2004. The DVD contained all five episodes. The running time of the DVD is approximately 45 minutes.Oot On The Tap (13:30)
The lads begin at the pub, where Sid receives a black eye from a woman after a crude attempt to chat her up. In another bar, Sid, Baz and Bob disagree over the reasons behind the rejection. Joe warns them not to fight, but they end up fighting and are thrown out. This is followed by a meal at an Indian restaurant where they order the hottest curry dishes. Everyone else proclaims that the food is so hot it's inedible; Sid denounces them as "homs" just before discovering just how hot the dish actually is. The four of them then go out to a nightclub where Sid suffers a string of failed chat-up attempts that get worse as he gets more and more drunk, eventually resulting in him being thrown out for indecent exposureIndecent exposure
Indecent exposure is the deliberate exposure in public or in view of the general public by a person of a portion or portions of his or her body, in circumstances where the exposure is contrary to local moral or other standards of appropriate behavior. Indecent exposure laws vary in different...
. Finally at the end of the night, Sid vomits outside a kebab
Kebab
Kebab is a wide variety of meat dishes originating in Middle East and later on adopted by the Middle East, and Asia Minor, and now found worldwide. In English, kebab with no qualification generally refers more specifically to shish kebab served on the skewer...
shop as Joe places their orders and Bob urinates up a lamp post, Baz comforting Sid by stating "It just shows ye had a good night" and Sid claiming he wants "plenty onions" on his kebab in between heaves.
Euro Sidney (11:12)
Sid and the lads decide go on holiday to SpainSpain
Spain , officially the Kingdom of Spain languages]] under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages. In each of these, Spain's official name is as follows:;;;;;;), is a country and member state of the European Union located in southwestern Europe on the Iberian Peninsula...
following an argument in the pub over where to go, resulting in Joe giving Sid a black eye for calling him a "fat git". On the plane things instantly go bad for Sid after an air stewardess on the plane "accidentally" spills hot coffee on his crotch. Once they arrive Sid instantly begins abusing the locals and other tourists, embarrassing the others and earning himself another punch in the face for his trouble. Later on whilst out by the pool Sid refuses to put on sunscreen
Sunscreen
Sunblock is a lotion, spray, gel or other topical product that absorbs or reflects some of the sun's ultraviolet radiation on the skin exposed to sunlight and thus helps protect against sunburn...
as he believes that as it's the same sun as the one in Newcastle, it can't do him any harm. As the sun quickly goes to Sid's head he tries it on with a Swiss woman before mistaking her and her partner for Germans, mouthing off very loudly about the 1966 World Cup
1966 FIFA World Cup
The 1966 FIFA World Cup, the eighth staging of the World Cup, was held in England from 11 July to 30 July. England beat West Germany 4–2 in the final, winning the World Cup for the first time, so becoming the first host to win the tournament since Italy in 1934.-Host selection:England was chosen as...
. The police arrive and try to calm him down and get him out of the sun but he continues to hurl abuse at them, resulting in him being beaten up, arrested and deported. Baz, Bob and Joe see out their holiday on the beach with girls they have pulled whilst a heavily-bandaged Sid tries and fails to chat up a woman on a bench in a rain-soaked Whitley Bay
Whitley Bay
Whitley Bay is a town in North Tyneside, in Tyne and Wear, England. It is on the North Sea coast and has a fine stretch of golden sandy beach forming a bay stretching from St. Mary's Island in the north to Cullercoats in the south...
.
Sid's Ship Comes In (3:24)
Sid and his mates are in the pub as normal. Bob tells Sid that he, Baz and Joe don't want to hang around with Sid anymore. Sid realizes what Bob is saying, and walks away saying: "Whahey, here I come!" Later, Sid is in the nightclub where he and his mates were in the first episode. He sees a woman in a red dress, and she takes Sid back to her house.Sid has finally scored with a woman at last until suddenly, he discovers a white patch on his bed sheet (he has had a wet dream.) He hears his mother calling him and realizes it was all a dream. He gives a sad groan, and goes back to sleep.
Sid's Blind Date (14:05)
Sid is home with his mother watching Blind DateBlind Date (UK TV series)
Blind Date is a British dating game show produced by London Weekend Television. An unscreened pilot was made with comic Duncan Norvelle as presenter but it was eventually hosted by Cilla Black, who already hosted the LWT series, Surprise, Surprise...
. He decides to go on the show in an attempt to meet a woman. After going on the show he invites the oblivious Joe, Bob and Baz round to his house to watch the episode in which Sid goes up against a slow-witted Brummie and a swaggering Londoner to win a date with a posh but naive woman. Despite Sid being his usual obnoxious self, the woman mistakes his crudeness for some kind of likeable northern sense of humour. The woman chooses Sid as her date, much to the surprise of everyone watching. After the episode goes out, Sid suddenly finds himself being very popular.
Later on, Sid's mother and his mates go to London to see him and the woman discuss their date on the following episode. But at the BBC Television Centre
BBC Television Centre
BBC Television Centre at White City in West London is the headquarters of BBC Television. Officially opened on 29 June 1960, it remains one of the largest to this day; having featured over the years as backdrop to many BBC programmes, it is one of the most readily recognisable such facilities...
, Baz causes trouble when he calls the security guard a "cheeky Cockney twat" after being told that they should have gone to the London Weekend Television
London Weekend Television
London Weekend Television was the name of the ITV network franchise holder for Greater London and the Home Counties including south Suffolk, middle and east Hampshire, Oxfordshire, south Bedfordshire, south Northamptonshire, parts of Herefordshire & Worcestershire, Warwickshire, east Dorset and...
studios instead. They finally get to the right place but during the show it is discovered that Sid's date had not gone so well due his misapprehension that sex would be involved. Afterwards Sid asks the lady if they would like to make out in the dressing room. The lady finally snaps and punches him in the testicles. Later in hospital, Baz tells Sid he was doing fine until the lady punched him in his plums. The doctor appears and tells Sid one of his testicles will emerge within a couple of years. Sid gives a horrified gulp.
The Big Pull (3:55)
Sid is in the local Newsagent looking for some dirty magazines. He buys one and hides it in a newspaper. When he bumps into a lady, she discovers the dirty magazine he was hiding in his newspaper. Sid tells her he was going to buy one called Mammoth Melons, but he picked up the wrong one. The woman gives him a cross look and he sighs.Later, Sid is still outside the Newsagent smoking a cigarette. A boy comes along and Sid gives him some money to buy a dirty magazine for him. The woman comes along, and Sid apologizes for what happened earlier. The boy returns and tells Sid: "Mister, I can not reach Mammoth Melons. Will Gigantic Jugs Of Joy do?". Sid gulps, and the woman walks crossly away. Later at Sid's house, his friends call for him. His mother opens the door, and tells them he is in his room. As they open the door, they find Sid masturbating over some dirty magazines. He looks up at his friends and goes red in the face.