It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living
Encyclopedia
It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living is a non-fiction
compilation
book, edited by Dan Savage
and his husband, Terry Miller. It was published March 22, 2011 by Dutton. The book includes selections of essays inspired by the It Gets Better Project, founded by Savage. He decided to start the project after a series of incidents of suicide among LGBT youth
. Individuals were encouraged to submit videos with a message of hope and optimism for teenagers who were victims of bullying due to their sexual orientation
. Over 100 essays are contained in the book. Contributors include finance advisor, Suze Orman
; comedic writer, David Sedaris
; United States Secretary of State
, Hillary Clinton; and President of the United States
, Barack Obama
.
Sales of the book were successful, and IndieBound reported it reached a list of bestsellers in the United States less than one week after publication. It reached The New York Times Best Seller list in April 2011. The Chicago Sun-Times
noted that the book "features handpicked and heartfelt essays from contributors famous and obscure, gay and straight."
. He felt impacted by suicides of youths, including Tyler Clementi, who were tormented because of their sexual orientation. The purpose of the project is to reach out to teenagers and to provide them with hope and optimism in the face of bullying.
"I was just stewing on the kids, and the reaction you always have as a gay adult is 'I wish I could have talked to that kid,' to have been able to tell him it gets better," explained Savage. The project intended to inform teenagers that "it gets better", through video submissions to the organization. Savage commented, "When a 15-year-old or a 13-year-old kills himself because he is gay, what he’s saying is that he can’t picture a future with enough joy in it to compensate for the pain he’s in now, to make enduring this and getting through it worth it. We gay adults know adult gay life is pretty awesome....You can have a totally wonderful, rewarding adult gay life. A lot of gay kids don’t know that. You wish you could tell him that it gets better and that was the phrase rattling around in my head."
Savage's initial goal was to compile 100 videos. By February 2011, approximately 10,000 people had submitted videos, which were watched 30 million times on video sharing websites, including YouTube
. Video submissions included a speech addressed to youth from the President of the United States
, as well as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom
. The Trevor Project
, an organization which provides services to LGBT youth, noted that after the foundation of the It Gets Better Project, the group saw a 50% increase in telephone calls to their suicide hotline. Contributors to the book wrote essays after receiving inspiration from the It Gets Better Project. Savage donated his profits from the book to charitable organizations dedicated to assisting lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender young people.
It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living contains selections of writings addressed to teenagers within the LGBT community. Celebrities
, ordinary individuals and teenagers submitted pieces for inclusion in the book, which includes over 100 essays, selected from 10,000 entries. Contributors to the work include finance advisor, Suze Orman
; comedic writer, David Sedaris
; United States Secretary of State
, Hillary Clinton; and President of the United States
, Barack Obama
.
Dan Savage writes of his own life in the book, "Eight years after coming out, I would stumble into a rewarding and unlikely career as a sex-advice columnist, of all things, and somehow leverage that into a side gig as a potty-mouthed political pundit. And fifteen years after coming out, I would adopt a son with the love of my life — the man I would marry — and, with him at my side, present my parents with a new grandchild, my siblings with a new nephew." He emphasizes the positive nature of his life in reflection on his past experiences, "Things didn't just get better for me. All of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender adults I knew were leading rich and rewarding lives. We weren't the same people and we didn't have or want the same things — gay or straight, not everyone wants kids or marriage; people pursue happiness in different ways — but we all had so much to be thankful for, and so much to look forward to. Our lives weren't perfect; there was pain, heartbreak, and struggle. But our lives were better. Our lives were joyful."
Civil rights
activist Urvashi Vaid
writes in the book, "The only reason big changes happen is when people like you and me decide to fight for things to change, when we take action to make things different. ... Social activism is all about optimism, even when you lose. The process of doing something about it all ... makes you feel better, like a sweaty dance to music you love." Medical student Jake Kleinman contributed an essay, "From Scared to Proud: The Journey of a Gay Medical Student", about his experiences which led to his decision to come out to his friends
whilst a senior at Colgate University
.
24-year-old Taylor Bailey of Denton, Texas
wrote of his experiences during seventh grade, and his period of depression when he contemplated suicide: "The thing that really saved me was my sister - my little sister. She was only about two or three at the time and I loved her so much. She was my biggest fan. And she's who I would think about when I thought about killing myself. I realized I couldn't do that to her. Thank God, because I couldn't have seen then where I would end up now. If I could have, I would have understood that I just needed to get through these few years because much better things were waiting for me."
was published by Dutton in 2011. An Audible.com
audio edition was released in April 2011 which ran 9 hours and 53 minutes; it was narrated by Paul Michael Garcia and Gavin Marguerite, another audio version was released by Playaway Digital Audio. An audio book
version was released by Blackstone Audio, Inc. in May 2011 in MP3
format, as well as a CD version. A paperback edition is planned for release in February 2012.
. Mike Thomas of the Chicago Sun-Times
wrote, "It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living — features handpicked and heartfelt essays from contributors famous and obscure, gay and straight."
Non-fiction
Non-fiction is the form of any narrative, account, or other communicative work whose assertions and descriptions are understood to be fact...
compilation
Compilation
Compilation may refer to:* In computer programming, the translation of source code into object code by a compiler.* Compilation, in accountancy, the presentation of information in the form of financial statements that are the representation of management, without expressing any opinion or assurance...
book, edited by Dan Savage
Dan Savage
Daniel Keenan "Dan" Savage is an American author, media pundit, journalist and newspaper editor. Savage writes the internationally syndicated relationship and sex advice column Savage Love. Its tone is frank in its discussion of sexuality, often humorous, and hostile to social conservatives, as in...
and his husband, Terry Miller. It was published March 22, 2011 by Dutton. The book includes selections of essays inspired by the It Gets Better Project, founded by Savage. He decided to start the project after a series of incidents of suicide among LGBT youth
Suicide among LGBT youth
Researchers have found that suicide among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth is comparatively higher than among the general population...
. Individuals were encouraged to submit videos with a message of hope and optimism for teenagers who were victims of bullying due to their sexual orientation
Sexual orientation
Sexual orientation describes a pattern of emotional, romantic, or sexual attractions to the opposite sex, the same sex, both, or neither, and the genders that accompany them. By the convention of organized researchers, these attractions are subsumed under heterosexuality, homosexuality,...
. Over 100 essays are contained in the book. Contributors include finance advisor, Suze Orman
Suze Orman
Susan "Suze" Lynn Orman is an American financial advisor, author, motivational speaker, and television host.Orman was born in Chicago and received her B.A. in social work. She worked as a waitress in Berkeley, California before becoming a financial advisor for Merrill Lynch...
; comedic writer, David Sedaris
David Sedaris
David Sedaris is a Grammy Award-nominated American humorist, writer, comedian, bestselling author, and radio contributor....
; United States Secretary of State
United States Secretary of State
The United States Secretary of State is the head of the United States Department of State, concerned with foreign affairs. The Secretary is a member of the Cabinet and the highest-ranking cabinet secretary both in line of succession and order of precedence...
, Hillary Clinton; and President of the United States
President of the United States
The President of the United States of America is the head of state and head of government of the United States. The president leads the executive branch of the federal government and is the commander-in-chief of the United States Armed Forces....
, Barack Obama
Barack Obama
Barack Hussein Obama II is the 44th and current President of the United States. He is the first African American to hold the office. Obama previously served as a United States Senator from Illinois, from January 2005 until he resigned following his victory in the 2008 presidential election.Born in...
.
Sales of the book were successful, and IndieBound reported it reached a list of bestsellers in the United States less than one week after publication. It reached The New York Times Best Seller list in April 2011. The Chicago Sun-Times
Chicago Sun-Times
The Chicago Sun-Times is an American daily newspaper published in Chicago, Illinois. It is the flagship paper of the Sun-Times Media Group.-History:The Chicago Sun-Times is the oldest continuously published daily newspaper in the city...
noted that the book "features handpicked and heartfelt essays from contributors famous and obscure, gay and straight."
Background
Dan Savage started the It Gets Better Project in September 2010 in order to address incidents of suicide among LGBT youthSuicide among LGBT youth
Researchers have found that suicide among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth is comparatively higher than among the general population...
. He felt impacted by suicides of youths, including Tyler Clementi, who were tormented because of their sexual orientation. The purpose of the project is to reach out to teenagers and to provide them with hope and optimism in the face of bullying.
"I was just stewing on the kids, and the reaction you always have as a gay adult is 'I wish I could have talked to that kid,' to have been able to tell him it gets better," explained Savage. The project intended to inform teenagers that "it gets better", through video submissions to the organization. Savage commented, "When a 15-year-old or a 13-year-old kills himself because he is gay, what he’s saying is that he can’t picture a future with enough joy in it to compensate for the pain he’s in now, to make enduring this and getting through it worth it. We gay adults know adult gay life is pretty awesome....You can have a totally wonderful, rewarding adult gay life. A lot of gay kids don’t know that. You wish you could tell him that it gets better and that was the phrase rattling around in my head."
Savage's initial goal was to compile 100 videos. By February 2011, approximately 10,000 people had submitted videos, which were watched 30 million times on video sharing websites, including YouTube
YouTube
YouTube is a video-sharing website, created by three former PayPal employees in February 2005, on which users can upload, view and share videos....
. Video submissions included a speech addressed to youth from the President of the United States
President of the United States
The President of the United States of America is the head of state and head of government of the United States. The president leads the executive branch of the federal government and is the commander-in-chief of the United States Armed Forces....
, as well as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom
The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is the Head of Her Majesty's Government in the United Kingdom. The Prime Minister and Cabinet are collectively accountable for their policies and actions to the Sovereign, to Parliament, to their political party and...
. The Trevor Project
The Trevor Project
The Trevor Project is an American non-profit organization founded in 1998 and the leading national organization focused on suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. Through a toll-free telephone number, it operates The Trevor Lifeline, a...
, an organization which provides services to LGBT youth, noted that after the foundation of the It Gets Better Project, the group saw a 50% increase in telephone calls to their suicide hotline. Contributors to the book wrote essays after receiving inspiration from the It Gets Better Project. Savage donated his profits from the book to charitable organizations dedicated to assisting lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender young people.
Contents
Celebrity
A celebrity, also referred to as a celeb in popular culture, is a person who has a prominent profile and commands a great degree of public fascination and influence in day-to-day media...
, ordinary individuals and teenagers submitted pieces for inclusion in the book, which includes over 100 essays, selected from 10,000 entries. Contributors to the work include finance advisor, Suze Orman
Suze Orman
Susan "Suze" Lynn Orman is an American financial advisor, author, motivational speaker, and television host.Orman was born in Chicago and received her B.A. in social work. She worked as a waitress in Berkeley, California before becoming a financial advisor for Merrill Lynch...
; comedic writer, David Sedaris
David Sedaris
David Sedaris is a Grammy Award-nominated American humorist, writer, comedian, bestselling author, and radio contributor....
; United States Secretary of State
United States Secretary of State
The United States Secretary of State is the head of the United States Department of State, concerned with foreign affairs. The Secretary is a member of the Cabinet and the highest-ranking cabinet secretary both in line of succession and order of precedence...
, Hillary Clinton; and President of the United States
President of the United States
The President of the United States of America is the head of state and head of government of the United States. The president leads the executive branch of the federal government and is the commander-in-chief of the United States Armed Forces....
, Barack Obama
Barack Obama
Barack Hussein Obama II is the 44th and current President of the United States. He is the first African American to hold the office. Obama previously served as a United States Senator from Illinois, from January 2005 until he resigned following his victory in the 2008 presidential election.Born in...
.
Dan Savage writes of his own life in the book, "Eight years after coming out, I would stumble into a rewarding and unlikely career as a sex-advice columnist, of all things, and somehow leverage that into a side gig as a potty-mouthed political pundit. And fifteen years after coming out, I would adopt a son with the love of my life — the man I would marry — and, with him at my side, present my parents with a new grandchild, my siblings with a new nephew." He emphasizes the positive nature of his life in reflection on his past experiences, "Things didn't just get better for me. All of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender adults I knew were leading rich and rewarding lives. We weren't the same people and we didn't have or want the same things — gay or straight, not everyone wants kids or marriage; people pursue happiness in different ways — but we all had so much to be thankful for, and so much to look forward to. Our lives weren't perfect; there was pain, heartbreak, and struggle. But our lives were better. Our lives were joyful."
Civil rights
Civil rights
Civil and political rights are a class of rights that protect individuals' freedom from unwarranted infringement by governments and private organizations, and ensure one's ability to participate in the civil and political life of the state without discrimination or repression.Civil rights include...
activist Urvashi Vaid
Urvashi Vaid
Urvashi Vaid is an American activist who has worked for over 25 years promoting civil rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons.- Political activism :...
writes in the book, "The only reason big changes happen is when people like you and me decide to fight for things to change, when we take action to make things different. ... Social activism is all about optimism, even when you lose. The process of doing something about it all ... makes you feel better, like a sweaty dance to music you love." Medical student Jake Kleinman contributed an essay, "From Scared to Proud: The Journey of a Gay Medical Student", about his experiences which led to his decision to come out to his friends
Coming out
Coming out is a figure of speech for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people's disclosure of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity....
whilst a senior at Colgate University
Colgate University
Colgate University is a private liberal arts college in Hamilton, New York, USA. The school was founded in 1819 as a Baptist seminary and later became non-denominational. It is named for the Colgate family who greatly contributed to the university's endowment in the 19th century.Colgate has 52...
.
24-year-old Taylor Bailey of Denton, Texas
Denton, Texas
The city of Denton is the county seat of Denton County, Texas in the United States. Its population was 119,454 according to the 2010 U.S. Census, making it the eleventh largest city in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex...
wrote of his experiences during seventh grade, and his period of depression when he contemplated suicide: "The thing that really saved me was my sister - my little sister. She was only about two or three at the time and I loved her so much. She was my biggest fan. And she's who I would think about when I thought about killing myself. I realized I couldn't do that to her. Thank God, because I couldn't have seen then where I would end up now. If I could have, I would have understood that I just needed to get through these few years because much better things were waiting for me."
Publication history
It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living was first published by Dutton on March 22, 2011, in hardcover format. An additional version as an e-bookE-book
An electronic book is a book-length publication in digital form, consisting of text, images, or both, and produced on, published through, and readable on computers or other electronic devices. Sometimes the equivalent of a conventional printed book, e-books can also be born digital...
was published by Dutton in 2011. An Audible.com
Audible.com
Audible.com is an Internet provider of spoken audio entertainment, information, and educational programming.Audible sells digital audiobooks, radio and TV programs, and audio versions of magazines and newspapers....
audio edition was released in April 2011 which ran 9 hours and 53 minutes; it was narrated by Paul Michael Garcia and Gavin Marguerite, another audio version was released by Playaway Digital Audio. An audio book
Audio book
An audiobook or audio book is a recording of a text being read. It is not necessarily an exact audio version of a book or magazine.Spoken audio has been available in schools and public libraries and to a lesser extent in music shops since the 1930s. Many spoken word albums were made prior to the...
version was released by Blackstone Audio, Inc. in May 2011 in MP3
MP3
MPEG-1 or MPEG-2 Audio Layer III, more commonly referred to as MP3, is a patented digital audio encoding format using a form of lossy data compression...
format, as well as a CD version. A paperback edition is planned for release in February 2012.
Reception
IndieBound reported that It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living reached 20th on a list of bestsellers in the United States, less than one week after it was published. The book reached spot 16 on The New York Times Best Seller list on April 10, 2011. By April 25, 2011 the book had sold approximately 24,000 copies, according to The New York TimesThe New York Times
The New York Times is an American daily newspaper founded and continuously published in New York City since 1851. The New York Times has won 106 Pulitzer Prizes, the most of any news organization...
. Mike Thomas of the Chicago Sun-Times
Chicago Sun-Times
The Chicago Sun-Times is an American daily newspaper published in Chicago, Illinois. It is the flagship paper of the Sun-Times Media Group.-History:The Chicago Sun-Times is the oldest continuously published daily newspaper in the city...
wrote, "It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living — features handpicked and heartfelt essays from contributors famous and obscure, gay and straight."
See also
- Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education NetworkGay, Lesbian and Straight Education NetworkThe Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network is an organization in the United States that seeks to end discrimination, harassment, and bullying based on sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression in K-12 schools. GLSEN is headquartered in New York City and the District of Columbia...
- LGBT-affirming religious groups
- LGBT community
- LGBT rights in the United States
- Teenage suicide in the United States
External links
- Dan Savage's Message to Gay Youth: 'It Gets Better', interview on All Things ConsideredAll Things ConsideredAll Things Considered is the flagship news program on the American network National Public Radio. It was the first news program on NPR, and is broadcast live worldwide through several outlets...
, National Public Radio - It Gets Better page at whitehouse.gov