Bikini Planet
Encyclopedia
Bikini Planet is a science fiction
Science fiction
Science fiction is a genre of fiction dealing with imaginary but more or less plausible content such as future settings, futuristic science and technology, space travel, aliens, and paranormal abilities...

 comedy written by David S. Garnett
David S. Garnett
David S. Garnett is a UK science fiction author and editor whose novels include Cosmic Carousel, Stargonauts and Bikini Planet. He edited a paperback anthology revival of Michael Moorcock's New Worlds magazine, two Zenith anthologies of original British SF stories, and three Orbit Science Fiction...

 and released exclusively in the UK
United Kingdom
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern IrelandIn the United Kingdom and Dependencies, other languages have been officially recognised as legitimate autochthonous languages under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages...

 as a paperback. It is written as a sub-sequel to an earlier story written by Garnett in 1994, entitled Stargonauts
Stargonauts
Stargonauts is a science-fiction-comedy novel written by David S. Garnett and released in 1994. A sequel novel, Bikini Planet, followed in 2000.- Plot :...

, which features the some of the same settings and characters from the first story.

Backstory

In 1968, Las Vegas
Las Vegas metropolitan area
The Las Vegas Valley is the heart of the Las Vegas-Paradise, NV MSA also known as the Las Vegas–Paradise–Henderson MSA which includes all of Clark County, Nevada, and is a metropolitan area in the southern part of the U.S. state of Nevada. The Valley is defined by the Las Vegas Valley landform, a ...

 weakling cop Wayne Norton stumbles on a gangster plot by crime lord Mario to freeze himself and re-emerge as the Head of a large criminal empire in the future. After knocking Wayne unconscious, Mario freezes him instead and then kills his servants.

While Wayne is frozen, Mario is caught and sentenced to 300 years imprisonment. Over the years the world becomes heavily dependent on the Internet
Internet
The Internet is a global system of interconnected computer networks that use the standard Internet protocol suite to serve billions of users worldwide...

, and all books, videos etc., are recorded electronically. On Day Zero, the entire Internet crashes and all history and knowledge is wiped out. People eventually forget what they were taught, and learn from the past through old John Wayne
John Wayne
Marion Mitchell Morrison , better known by his stage name John Wayne, was an American film actor, director and producer. He epitomized rugged masculinity and became an enduring American icon. He is famous for his distinctive calm voice, walk, and height...

 films. Las Vegas is over-run by Red Indians, who leave many American cities to ruin.

Plot

Waking in the 24th Century, Wayne claims to be John Wayne
John Wayne
Marion Mitchell Morrison , better known by his stage name John Wayne, was an American film actor, director and producer. He epitomized rugged masculinity and became an enduring American icon. He is famous for his distinctive calm voice, walk, and height...

. He's appointed a GalactiCop Police
Police
The police is a personification of the state designated to put in practice the enforced law, protect property and reduce civil disorder in civilian matters. Their powers include the legitimized use of force...

 Sergeant
Sergeant
Sergeant is a rank used in some form by most militaries, police forces, and other uniformed organizations around the world. Its origins are the Latin serviens, "one who serves", through the French term Sergent....

 by his new employer, Colonel Travis. Unbeknownst to Norton, Travis sends Wayne as his double to Hideaway, the entertainment planet.

On the nearby prison planet Arazon (colliquially known as "Clink"), the female prisoner Kiru (a neurotic) falls into league with a band of space pirates planning to escape. The mute bodyguard Grawl decides to protect Kiru. He even kills his friend Aqa after he and Kiru have sex. Once she escapes and gets to Hideaway, Kiru gets away from Grawl. He had planned on transplanting all of her organs to keep himself going.

Wayne arrives on Hideaway and checks in as Robin Hood
Robin Hood
Robin Hood was a heroic outlaw in English folklore. A highly skilled archer and swordsman, he is known for "robbing from the rich and giving to the poor", assisted by a group of fellow outlaws known as his "Merry Men". Traditionally, Robin Hood and his men are depicted wearing Lincoln green clothes....

. He comes across a tailors' shop run by Janesmith, a princess-in-exile from the female-dominated planet of Algol. After identifying himself as Duke Wayne this time, Janesmith immediately has sex with him, thinking he's an aristocrat
Aristocracy (class)
The aristocracy are people considered to be in the highest social class in a society which has or once had a political system of Aristocracy. Aristocrats possess hereditary titles granted by a monarch, which once granted them feudal or legal privileges, or deriving, as in Ancient Greece and India,...

. Wayne is unwilling to continue, though, after discovering Janesmith has vagina dentata
Vagina dentata
Vagina dentata is Latin for toothed vagina. Various cultures have folk tales about women with toothed vaginas, frequently told as cautionary tales warning of the dangers of sex with strange women and to discourage the act of rape....

, but she uses hypnosis to knock him out.

Wayne awakes up in his room alone, but a few seconds later Kiru comes rushing in to hide from Grawl. The two have sex and are then arrested, while still naked, by a band of amoeba aliens who have already captured the escaped space pirates. Both Wayne and Kiru escape the aliens' ship, but in different escape pods. Kiru ends up riding with Colonel Travis (under the false name of Eliot Ness
Eliot Ness
Eliot Ness was an American Prohibition agent, famous for his efforts to enforce Prohibition in Chicago, Illinois, and the leader of a legendary team of law enforcement agents nicknamed The Untouchables.- Early life :...

) and Wayne ends up stuck with Grawl.

Both escape pods land on an unknown planet. While Kiru and Travis land safely, Grawl sacrifices himself to help Wayne escape before the pod floods in the alien sea. Wayne is rescued and learns from Travis that the planet is to be the new Las Vegas, in direct competition with Hideaway. It will be called either Cafe World or Vegas World. The inhabitants all wear bikinis for uniforms, even while construction is underway.

There are three alternate endings to the story. Two of which involve Kiru and Wayne marrying on Vegas / Cafe World, while the other involves a massacre of the characters by a resurrected Grawl.

Links to Stargonauts

Stargonauts
Stargonauts
Stargonauts is a science-fiction-comedy novel written by David S. Garnett and released in 1994. A sequel novel, Bikini Planet, followed in 2000.- Plot :...

also featured the characters of Grawl and Janesmith, and ended on Hideaway. In the original story, Grawl worked as a bodyguard to media tycoon William Ewart, who was in his fifth marriage to Janesmith's sister, Marysmith (who is mentioned on several occasions in Bikini Planet). Bikini Planet picks up from where the story left off, with Janesmith left abandoned on Hideaway whilst Grawl and Ewart became space pirates and presumably ended up on Arazon together.
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