Big Vern
Encyclopedia
Big Vern is a comic strip in the British
comic Viz
, first appearing in the late eighties. It was created by Viz founder Chris Donald
. It is currently, and has been for some time, drawn by Simon Thorp.
Big Vern is a parody
of London
mobsters such as the Kray twins
. He is a heavily built, square-jawed man with very short hair, sunglasses
, a heavy car coat and a grizzled look. He is referred to in at least one story as Mr Dakin, a nod to the character Vic Dakin played by Richard Burton in the 1971 gangster film Villain
. The humour of the strip centres around Vern mistaking normal and innocent activities (such as a trip to the supermarket) for criminal escapades, such as armed robberies or kidnappings. He always hangs around with his friend Ernie, an easy-going and normal man who is perplexed by Vern's conviction that he and Ernie are both mobsters. Vern speaks with a strong cockney
accent
, and his speech is phonetic (for example, he would say arf and fackin instead of half and fucking respectively.)
It is not clear whether Vern really is a gangster, a former gangster, or simply someone with a severe delusion about being one. He never seems to associate with real criminals, only Ernie, yet he does seem to know a lot about armed robberies, has no hesitation in killing people and has a seemingly endless supply of firearms. The punchline of nearly every strip is that Vern mistakes someone - such as a traffic warden
, an old lady or even Prince Charles - for an armed policeman. He shouts "Get dahn Ernie, he's got a piece" or words to such effect, before shooting that person dead. He then kills himself to ensure he won't go to jail ("No bastard copper's gonna take me alive!"), having just killed Ernie under the belief that Ernie would also want to be dead rather than go to prison (even though Ernie has done nothing wrong).
With no regard for continuity, Vern and Ernie are always resurrected in time for the next episode. In recent escapades Vern, for some reason, has not killed Ernie - instead, he accuses Ernie of "setting him up" and then kills himself as usual.
In another strip, Vern and Ernie go to stay at a hotel. Vern is convinced that it is a prison, and after slopping out
and decorating his room (which he believes is a cell) with pictures from pornographic magazines
, he announces his intention of muscling in on the snout racket and denounces a fellow guest as a nonce "it could have been your kids Ernie, let me at him", etc. He then goes stir crazy
and launches a rooftop protest, sitting on the roof of the hotel and demanding better conditions. The final prison stereotype shows Vern sodomising Ernie in the shower claiming that he has "been wivout a woman too long, Ernie".
One episode has Vern on a minicab journey to the airport, as Ernie has persuaded him to accompany him on a holiday to Majorca. Predictably, Vern believes that they are fleeing "the Smoke" and heading for the Costa del Crime in order to evade justice.
The Viz website http://www.viz.co.uk has a downloadable Big Vern Macromedia Flash game called The Full Tickle. The player must get Vern to kill as many innocent people as possible before committing suicide
.
"Big Vern" is also a well known Hucknall Taxi driver who is one of the most popular in the town. Often seen in his Renault Espace making trips up and down to the airport he is a local celebrity and a well loved character.
United Kingdom
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern IrelandIn the United Kingdom and Dependencies, other languages have been officially recognised as legitimate autochthonous languages under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages...
comic Viz
Viz (comic)
Viz is a popular British comic magazine which has been running since 1979.The comic's style parodies British comics of the post-war period, notably The Beano and The Dandy, but with incongruous language, crude toilet humour, black comedy, surreal humour and either sexual or violent storylines...
, first appearing in the late eighties. It was created by Viz founder Chris Donald
Chris Donald
Chris Donald is the founder of, and one of the principal contributors to, the British comic magazine Viz...
. It is currently, and has been for some time, drawn by Simon Thorp.
Big Vern is a parody
Parody
A parody , in current usage, is an imitative work created to mock, comment on, or trivialise an original work, its subject, author, style, or some other target, by means of humorous, satiric or ironic imitation...
of London
London
London is the capital city of :England and the :United Kingdom, the largest metropolitan area in the United Kingdom, and the largest urban zone in the European Union by most measures. Located on the River Thames, London has been a major settlement for two millennia, its history going back to its...
mobsters such as the Kray twins
Kray twins
Reginald "Reggie" Kray and his twin brother Ronald "Ronnie" Kray were the foremost perpetrators of organised crime in London's East End during the 1950s and 1960s...
. He is a heavily built, square-jawed man with very short hair, sunglasses
Sunglasses
Sunglasses or sun glasses are a form of protective eyewear designed primarily to prevent bright sunlight and high-energy visible light from damaging or discomforting the eyes. They can sometimes also function as a visual aid, as variously termed spectacles or glasses exist, featuring lenses that...
, a heavy car coat and a grizzled look. He is referred to in at least one story as Mr Dakin, a nod to the character Vic Dakin played by Richard Burton in the 1971 gangster film Villain
Villain (1971 film)
Villain is a 1971 gangster film directed by Michael Tuchner and starring Richard Burton, Ian McShane, T. P. McKenna and Donald Sinden.-Plot:...
. The humour of the strip centres around Vern mistaking normal and innocent activities (such as a trip to the supermarket) for criminal escapades, such as armed robberies or kidnappings. He always hangs around with his friend Ernie, an easy-going and normal man who is perplexed by Vern's conviction that he and Ernie are both mobsters. Vern speaks with a strong cockney
Cockney
The term Cockney has both geographical and linguistic associations. Geographically and culturally, it often refers to working class Londoners, particularly those in the East End...
accent
Accent (linguistics)
In linguistics, an accent is a manner of pronunciation peculiar to a particular individual, location, or nation.An accent may identify the locality in which its speakers reside , the socio-economic status of its speakers, their ethnicity, their caste or social class, their first language In...
, and his speech is phonetic (for example, he would say arf and fackin instead of half and fucking respectively.)
It is not clear whether Vern really is a gangster, a former gangster, or simply someone with a severe delusion about being one. He never seems to associate with real criminals, only Ernie, yet he does seem to know a lot about armed robberies, has no hesitation in killing people and has a seemingly endless supply of firearms. The punchline of nearly every strip is that Vern mistakes someone - such as a traffic warden
Traffic warden
A traffic warden is a non-warranted officer employed by a statutory authority in jurisdictions such as the United Kingdom, Hong Kong and Ireland, to assist in regulating the flow of traffic.- Ireland :...
, an old lady or even Prince Charles - for an armed policeman. He shouts "Get dahn Ernie, he's got a piece" or words to such effect, before shooting that person dead. He then kills himself to ensure he won't go to jail ("No bastard copper's gonna take me alive!"), having just killed Ernie under the belief that Ernie would also want to be dead rather than go to prison (even though Ernie has done nothing wrong).
With no regard for continuity, Vern and Ernie are always resurrected in time for the next episode. In recent escapades Vern, for some reason, has not killed Ernie - instead, he accuses Ernie of "setting him up" and then kills himself as usual.
In another strip, Vern and Ernie go to stay at a hotel. Vern is convinced that it is a prison, and after slopping out
Slopping out
Slopping out is the emptying of buckets of human waste when the cells are unlocked in prisons in the morning. Inmates without a toilet in the cell have to use a bucket or chamber pot while locked in during the night. The reason that some cells do not have toilets is that they date from the...
and decorating his room (which he believes is a cell) with pictures from pornographic magazines
Pornography
Pornography or porn is the explicit portrayal of sexual subject matter for the purposes of sexual arousal and erotic satisfaction.Pornography may use any of a variety of media, ranging from books, magazines, postcards, photos, sculpture, drawing, painting, animation, sound recording, film, video,...
, he announces his intention of muscling in on the snout racket and denounces a fellow guest as a nonce "it could have been your kids Ernie, let me at him", etc. He then goes stir crazy
Stir crazy (condition)
Stir crazy is a phrase that dates to 1908 according to the Oxford English Dictionary and the online Etymology Dictionary. Used among inmates in prison, it referred to a prisoner who became mentally unbalanced because of prolonged incarceration. It is based upon the slang stir to mean prison...
and launches a rooftop protest, sitting on the roof of the hotel and demanding better conditions. The final prison stereotype shows Vern sodomising Ernie in the shower claiming that he has "been wivout a woman too long, Ernie".
One episode has Vern on a minicab journey to the airport, as Ernie has persuaded him to accompany him on a holiday to Majorca. Predictably, Vern believes that they are fleeing "the Smoke" and heading for the Costa del Crime in order to evade justice.
The Viz website http://www.viz.co.uk has a downloadable Big Vern Macromedia Flash game called The Full Tickle. The player must get Vern to kill as many innocent people as possible before committing suicide
Suicide
Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one's own death. Suicide is often committed out of despair or attributed to some underlying mental disorder, such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, alcoholism, or drug abuse...
.
"Big Vern" is also a well known Hucknall Taxi driver who is one of the most popular in the town. Often seen in his Renault Espace making trips up and down to the airport he is a local celebrity and a well loved character.