Written and directed by Troy Duffy.

Connor McManus

• [After a lesbian co-worker takes offense at his mention of rule of thumb] Can't do much damage with that thing, can we? Perhaps it should have been the rule of wrist.

Paul Smecker, F.B.I.

• Television. Television is the explanation for this! You see this in bad television. The little assault guys creeping through the vents, coming in through the ceiling. That James Bond shit never happens in real life. Professionals don't do that!

• You Irish cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally-sized men. Kinda makes me feel like Riverdancing. [begins dancing]

• There was a Firefight!

Connor, Murphy & Il Duce

• [Family prayer]
  And Shepherds we shall be, for Thee my lord for Thee.
  Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
  that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
  So we shall flow a river forth to Thee,
  and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
  In Nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.
  (In The Name Of The Father, The Son, And The Holy Ghost)

Others

Doc: He left me his c-c-c... He left me his c-c-c... Oh, he fucking gave me this. Fuck! Ass!

Doc: Why don't you make like a tree and get the fuck out of here.

Dialogue

Monsignor: And I am reminded on this holy day of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, long time ago almost 30 years ago. This poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but no person answered their calls. Though many saw, no one so much as called the police. They all just watched as Kitty was being stabbed to death in broad daylight. They watched as her assailant walked away. Now, we must all fear evil men. But, there is another kind of evil which we must all fear most... and that is the indifference of good men!

Connor: [as the brothers exit the church] I do believe the monsignor's finally got the point.

Murphy: Aye.

Detective Greenly: These guys are miles away by now, but if you wanna beat your head against a wall, then here's what you're looking for: they're scared, like two little bunny rabbits. Anything in a uniform or flashing blue lights is gonna spook 'em, okay? So the only thing we can do is put a potato on a string and drag it through South Boston, "Thanks for coming out!" [Murphy and Connor walk into the station and Smecker sees them]

Murphy: You'd probably have better luck with a beer.

Connor: Aye, you would.

Detective Greenly: Aw, fuck.

Paul Smecker: Hey, Greenly. Onion bagel, cream cheese.

Rocco: Don't you think that's a little weird, a little psycho?

Connor: D'you know what I think is psycho, Roc? It's decent men with loving families. They go home every day after work and they turn on the news. You know what they see? They see rapists, and murderers and child molesters. They're all getting out of prison.

Murphy: Mafiosos. Gettin' caught with twenty kilos. Gettin' out on bail the same fuckin' day.

Connor: And everywhere, everyone thinks the same thing: that someone should just go kill those motherfuckers.

Murphy: Kill 'em all. Admit it. Even you've thought about it.

Rocco: [thinks a second] You guys should be in every major city.

Connor: [picking out weapons and gear] Do ya know what we need, man? Some rope.

Murphy: Absolutely. What are ya, insane?

Connor: No I ain't. Charlie Bronson's always got rope.

Murphy: What?

Connor: Yeah. He's got a lot of rope strapped around him in the movies, and they always end up using it.

Murphy: You've lost it, haven't ya?

Connor: No, I'm serious.

Murphy: Me too. That's stupid. Name one thing you gonna need a rope for.

Connor: You don't fuckin' know what you're gonna need it for. They just always need it.

Murphy: What's this 'they' shit? This isn't a movie.

Connor: Oh, right. [picks up large knife out of Murphy's bag] Is that right, Rambo?

Murphy: All right. Get your stupid fuckin' rope.

Connor: I'll get my stupid rope. I'll get it. This is a rope right here.

Connor: Now you will receive us.

Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.

Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.

Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.

Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.

Murphy: With every breath, we shall hunt them down.

Connor: Each day we will spill their blood, 'til it rains down from the skies.

Murphy: Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.

Connor: These are not polite suggestions. These are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.

Murphy: There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth, not to push the bounds and cross over, into true corruption, into our domain.

Connor: For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three, and on that day you will reap it.

Murphy: And we will send you to whatever god you wish.

Rocco: [seeing a room full of mobsters killed by Connor and Murphy] Fuckin'... What the fuckin' fuck... Who the fuck... Fuck this fuckin'... How did you two fuckin' fucks... FUCK!

Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.

Donna: Where's my cat?

Rocco: I killed your cat, you druggie bitch!

Donna: What? Why?

Rocco: Because I felt it would bring closure to our relationship.

Donna: You killed my... my...

Rocco: Your what!? Your fucking what, bitch? [Points gun at his own head] God dammit, I'll shoot myself in the head if you can tell me that cat's name! Go ahead! Your what? Your precious little...

Donna: Skip... Skippy! Skippy!

Rocco: [Still holding gun to his head] Aww... Jesus! What color was it, bitch?

Rayvie: Hey, don't fucking yell at her like that!

Rocco: Shut your fat ass, Rayvie! I can't go and buy a pack of smokes without running into nine guys you've fucked!

Murph: Where the fuck are you going?

Connor: Shhh... I'm figuring some shit out here.

Murph: Oh fuck you! I'm sweating my arse off dragging your fucking rope around! Must weigh thirty pounds.

Connor: Shhh... We are doing some serious shit here, now get a fucking hold of yourself!

Murph: Oh fuck you, I'm not the rope-toting Charlie Bronson wannabe that's getting us fucking lost!

Connor: Will you fucking shut it!? [Hits Murph with the flashlight and the two wrestle in the air vent]

Cast

• Willem Dafoe - Paul Smecker
• Sean Patrick Flanery - Connor McManus
• Norman Reedus - Murphy McManus
• David Della Rocco - David Della Rocco AKA " FunnyMan"
• Billy Connolly - IL Duce
• Ron Jeremy - Vincenzo Lipazzi