Jonny Gould (born 1961 in Kenya), is the host of tv channel Five's baseball coverage in the UK, where he is known for his strange outbursts and often rant like delivery. All of these quotes are taken from that show.

Catchphrases

• G'won the Braves.

• Bottom of the 9th, it's the last chance saloon.

• It's fantasy time!

• GOOD evening, fellow baseball nuts! BIG warm welcome to MLB on five!

• By Jove

• Hardcore!

• Boys & girls

• Top of the pile!

Attributed

• I'm quite thick.

• Venereal disease and beer don't make you good at baseball. (about Babe Ruth)

• Shame again that Ty Cobb was a bit of a tosspot.

• Have a beer on us boys.

• The court is in session, I am the....I am the....barrister. (Later read out again on MLB on five as an example of this page)

• The only problem is you're wearing that jacket and i'm not. (to co-presenter David Lengel)

• I feel like Eamonn Holmes interviewing the weirdo. (David Blaine)

• (Smoking crack) It's a very naughty thing to do, don't do it.

• Let's get real grass, baseball should be played outdoors.

• The People have spoken. Not me. The People.

• Bish, bosh, back of the net.

• You takin' the mick? You takin' the mick?

• A viewer mentioned I appeared to have a big hole in the side of my head. (Later read out again on MLB on five as an example of this page)

• It's mother's day. This show's for you darlin'.

• Your mum's been busy. (to co-presenter David Lengel)

• 4 runs, 4 batters, 4 hits, 4 runs.

• 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. 10th year, 10th year, 10th year, 10th year.

• I'm not paranoid. I'm just better than you. (Later read out again on MLB on five as an example of this page)

• Whatever happened to the Queensbury rules?

• I had visions I was having a takeaway curry

• Its a bad beard.

• I don't wanna go to your house anyway

• Not sexy, not sexy at all (about Randy Johnson)

• If he'd done that the chicken would have been fine, mark my words. (Relating to Pedro Martinez's bout of food poisoning after not being at the all star game)

• How many Trevors are there, his name's not Trevor it's Mark. I'm confused.

• I won the battle, you're winning the war.

• I can see it now, the Josh Chetwynd memorial stand. Or toilet.

• Oh, hello, it's mini me.

• I'm just gonna sit on the floor and show my knees.

• I'm not gonna lie to you i'm not that kind of person

• Where's that Wikipedia quote book? Add another one.

• We mention it all the time but, as we all know, Trevor Hoffman's aunty lives in Southend.

• I'm touching everything wood in the studio.

• A lead off home run for Emil Brown in the top of the second, no not him of Back to the Future fame, but he of the Kansas City left field.

• Mind you police like abusing students, so nothing wrong with that.

• I don't know what you've been peaking at and quite frankly I don't want to know.

• Well you've got strings coming out of the back of you. (to Josh Chetwynd)

• Ty Cobb, great Ball player, bit of a plonker.

• Memories of being a 12 year old playing cricket, got it where I shouldn't have done.

• And I am rampant.

• Mike Myers, sexy baby!

• Probably the biggest hurdle he had to overcome was that haircut! (about Magglio Ordonez)

• You've got the whole fence in your garden.

• Luckily he's a big, hairy man.

• I like going back to Busch.

• My voice went rather high there, I liked it.

• I say that is an impressive chest. Almost erotic.

• I'd also like an ugly vote for the shorts and the legs.

• And i've got the biggest skull in the business.

• Its the Hooters angle that I like.

• You stand next to these guys, like Roger Clemens, and all you see is buttocks. I mean enormous thighs and backsides.

• Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story.

• I've got my flip-flops, that's a manly thing flip-flops. They're brown.

• I'm so manly I could be a West Ham fan.

• How depressing is it for the guy? Playing baseball with you, warming the bench and I gave his girlfriend a big snogg earlier.

• I haven't seen so many boats since the 1588 Spanish Armada. (relating to boats in McCovey Cove at the 2007 All-Star game)

• The woman's a killing machine. (about studio guest Kara Scott)

• I am the Omar Sharif of baseball.

• You haven't got a candle. I've got a candle.

• I wouldn't worry about it, you've lost all credibility mate. (to Josh)

• It's called the English language, you'll get used to it JC.

• I can confirm he is dreamy, steely blue eyes. I was sitting there thinking if I was a bird i'd fancy him. (about J.J. Hardy)

• Take the same advice with ladies, take the i'm desperate sign off your head and bam! You're in there.

• I want to define hardcore...

• Its my birthday I get a bit frisky this time of year.

• We're not even out of the 1st inning and we're degrading the game.

• A snifter? Of brandy? You have a snifter?... I have a dollop.

• Generally speaking you can assume i'm excited.

• I've definetly been softcore this season.

• I was about to say floppy, thankyou.

• Hardcore, softcore, mediumcore, applecore, I don't care.