The Return of Battling Billson
Encyclopedia
"The Return of Battling Billson" is a short story
Short story
A short story is a work of fiction that is usually written in prose, often in narrative format. This format tends to be more pointed than longer works of fiction, such as novellas and novels. Short story definitions based on length differ somewhat, even among professional writers, in part because...

 by P. G. Wodehouse
P. G. Wodehouse
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse, KBE was an English humorist, whose body of work includes novels, short stories, plays, poems, song lyrics, and numerous pieces of journalism. He enjoyed enormous popular success during a career that lasted more than seventy years and his many writings continue to be...

, which first appeared in the United States
United States
The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...

 in the August 1923 issue of Cosmopolitan
Cosmopolitan (magazine)
Cosmopolitan is an international magazine for women. It was first published in 1886 in the United States as a family magazine, was later transformed into a literary magazine and eventually became a women's magazine in the late 1960s...

and in the United Kingdom
United Kingdom
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern IrelandIn the United Kingdom and Dependencies, other languages have been officially recognised as legitimate autochthonous languages under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages...

 in the September 1923 Strand
Strand Magazine
The Strand Magazine was a monthly magazine composed of fictional stories and factual articles founded by George Newnes. It was first published in the United Kingdom from January 1891 to March 1950 running to 711 issues, though the first issue was on sale well before Christmas 1890.Its immediate...

. It features the irrepressible Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge
Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge
Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge is a fictional character from the short stories and novels of P. G. Wodehouse.Ukridge is a schemer who will do anything to increase his funding -- except, of course, work. An alert and creative opportunist, he makes sure that no kindness shown to him, however...

, and was included in the collection Ukridge
Ukridge (short stories)
Ukridge is a collection of short stories by P.G. Wodehouse, first published in the United Kingdom on June 3, 1924 by Herbert Jenkins, London, and in the United States on March 19, 1926 by George H. Doran, New York, under the title He Rather Enjoyed It....

, published in 1924.

Main characters

  • Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge
    Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge
    Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge is a fictional character from the short stories and novels of P. G. Wodehouse.Ukridge is a schemer who will do anything to increase his funding -- except, of course, work. An alert and creative opportunist, he makes sure that no kindness shown to him, however...

    , the irrepressible entrepreneur
  • Jimmy Corcoran, Ukridge's writer friend
  • "Battling" Billson, a boxer sometimes managed by Ukridge
    • Flossie, Bilson's girl, a barmaid
      • Flossie's mother, an awful woman from the North
      • Cecil, Flossie's brother, a ghoulish child

Plot

Our plucky narrator Corky, researching for an article in the East End, has his pocket picked and finds himself unable to pay a bill at an inn. Kicked out by the landlord, he is rescued and avenged by a huge, red-headed man - none other than "Battling" Billson. He gives Billson Ukridge's address, and next day is landed with looking after Flossie's ghastly mother and ghoulish brother Cecil, despite having no recollection of who Flossie may be.

He beards Ukridge later, and is reminded of Billson's girl, who, it seems, is preventing the huge sailor from returning to the ring, for fear of him damaging his face. Ukridge wants Billson to fight, in a deal which would net them £200, and dealing with the mother, who Flossie can't stand, is Ukridge's way of bringing her on side.

Billson enters the ring and starts strongly, but soon fades, and looks certain to lose. At the last moment, he rallies spectacularly, and destroys his opponent. Corcoran goes home happy for his friend's success, but Ukridge arrives later bewailing cruel fate. The £200, it seems, was a bribe to throw the fight, which Billson had been on the verge of doing when his opponent stepped on his ingrowing toenail, enraging the big man and making him win the fight - which netted a mere £20.

Billson was introduced in "The Debut of Battling Billson
The Debut of Battling Billson
"The Debut of Battling Billson" is a short story by P. G. Wodehouse, which first appeared in the United States in the June 1923 issue of Cosmopolitan and in the United Kingdom in the July 1923 Strand...

", and would return in several other Ukridge stories.

See also

  • List of Wodehouse's Ukridge stories
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