Night of the Nearly Dead
Encyclopedia
"Night of the Nearly Dead" is the seventh episode of the third and final series of the Channel 4
sitcom Father Ted
. The episode's title and some of the scenes are a parody on the movie Night of the Living Dead
.
), popular and beloved only by devoted middle-aged women (all of whom are similar in appearance and dress to Mrs Doyle) visits the Parochial House when Mrs. Doyle, implausibly, has her ode to Eoin read out on the show and thus wins the poetry competition. Ted had written an Ode to him in Mrs Doyle's name, and originally thinks his Ode won, but is shocked to find Mrs Doyle is a better Poet then him. While there, he makes a bad impression on the priests (including Jack who he unwisely approaches, before sniffing the surrounding air and abruptly saying "I smell wee"), but Mrs Doyle is infatuated with him. When she tries to present him with tea, her erratic trembling causes the tray to shake so violently that the cup, saucer and teapot slide off and shatter on the floor. Mrs Doyle then faints in his presence.
Earlier in the episode, Mrs Doyle had been shopping for "tea bags shaped like a really tall tower." When suddenly a certain Mrs Boyle literally glides up toward her. She demands to know when Eoin will be arriving, and Mrs Doyle cracks, revealing he will be arriving on Sunday. But she pleads with Mrs Boyle not to spread it around, as Eoin wouldn't want anyone to know. Mrs Boyle swears she won't blab: "May I be struck down with every disease that it is known for a middle aged woman to suffer from. And as you and I both know, Mrs Doyle, that's a hell of a lot of diseases."
However, Mrs Boyle breaks her promise and instantly spreads the word of Eoin's arrival on the island via the supermarket, the telephone operator, the cybercafe, the lighthouse and back to the supermarket, and soon all the middle-aged housekeepers of the island are gathering on the lawns of the Parochial House in their droves, swarming in from all directions. As Eoin selfishly counts down the seconds until his visit will end, he requests to leave but is blocked by the presence of the door, seemingly unable to operate it. He has to call his long-suffering assistant Patsy who is waiting in the hall. But they fail to escape as the women have now swarmed to the front doorstep and are preventing anyone from exiting.
The door is shut on Eoin, although he is pulled inside just in time as the women reach out to grab hold of him (though Ted, Dougal and Patsy have to fight to free him from the women's clutches- Jack, however, sits back and enjoys the fun). He is then trapped in the Parochial House for the night, where he causes more mayhem by ripping Dougal's Beano
when he is asleep, sneaking into the kitchen and helping himself to the jam jar in the fridge, and upsetting Mrs Doyle when she presents him with a banana cake (his favourite kind) into which she has baked a jumper similar to those he wears on TV.
When the women finally break into the house (having tricked Ted into talking about the "great" mass he gave the previous Sunday by opening the window so they can hear better), Eoin is asleep on an armchair and the women crowd around exchanging their thoughts on how lovely he is. Dougal and Patsy pull him away and they escape upstairs to a final showdown in the bathroom. There Eoin displays his innocence by playing games with Dougal while Patsy frets about the future in store for "the little ones". Suddenly the door breaks down, and the elderly women swarm in, eerily chanting "Eoin! Eoin!". Then the cock
crows, signifying that dawn
has broken. Mrs Doyle saves the day by charging past the army of women, and declaring that it is after seven o'clock; meaning that the husbands of Eoin's devoted fans will be beginning to wonder where their breakfasts are. Ted agrees and reminds the women of their husbands' dependence on them - Mrs Dunne's husband tried to wash a cup the year before, and burned the house to the ground and Mrs Collins' husband attempted to make the beds on his own, and lost a leg in the process. To let them get through a day on their own would be a catastrophe. Ted sends the women back to their husbands, and the day is saved. Eoin is delighted, and cries out "Can I have this duck
?".
When Eoin eventually leaves, he is annoyed by the fact that he has to wear the cakejumper, which is covered in crumbs and large chunks of dough. However, he kindly gives Mrs Doyle a peck on the cheek and thanks her, which leads to her fainting again. Patsy invites Ted onto the show, Dougal having told her how much Ted is always trying to get on TV. Ted initially declines... but quickly agrees when he hears there's a cash prize. When Ted appears on the quiz, he breezes through the first round answering questions on his specialist subject (which is William Shatner
's TekWar
) and gets through to the final round. Eoin asks him what should be a simple question for a priest. However, Ted does not know what John Paul II's name was before he became Pope
. After trying to think of the answer throughout the closing credits, he can merely offer the feeble guess of "Jim".
Eoin's obtuse behaviour is finally explained with the line, "I've no willy".
Channel 4
Channel 4 is a British public-service television broadcaster which began working on 2 November 1982. Although largely commercially self-funded, it is ultimately publicly owned; originally a subsidiary of the Independent Broadcasting Authority , the station is now owned and operated by the Channel...
sitcom Father Ted
Father Ted
Father Ted is a comedy series set in Ireland that was produced by Hat Trick Productions for British broadcaster Channel 4. Written jointly by Irish writers Arthur Mathews and Graham Linehan and starring a predominantly Irish cast, it originally aired over three series from 21 April 1995 until 1 May...
. The episode's title and some of the scenes are a parody on the movie Night of the Living Dead
Night of the Living Dead
Night of the Living Dead is a 1968 American independent black-and-white zombie film and cult film directed by George A. Romero, starring Duane Jones, Judith O'Dea and Karl Hardman. It premiered on October 1, 1968, and was completed on a USD$114,000 budget. After decades of cinematic re-releases, it...
.
Synopsis
Childish pop superstar Eoin McLove (a parody of Daniel O'DonnellDaniel O'Donnell (Irish singer)
Daniel Francis Noel O'Donnell is an Irish singer, television presenter and philanthropist. O'Donnell came to public attention in 1983 and has since become a household name in Ireland and the UK. He has also had considerable success in the US. He is known for his close relationship with his...
), popular and beloved only by devoted middle-aged women (all of whom are similar in appearance and dress to Mrs Doyle) visits the Parochial House when Mrs. Doyle, implausibly, has her ode to Eoin read out on the show and thus wins the poetry competition. Ted had written an Ode to him in Mrs Doyle's name, and originally thinks his Ode won, but is shocked to find Mrs Doyle is a better Poet then him. While there, he makes a bad impression on the priests (including Jack who he unwisely approaches, before sniffing the surrounding air and abruptly saying "I smell wee"), but Mrs Doyle is infatuated with him. When she tries to present him with tea, her erratic trembling causes the tray to shake so violently that the cup, saucer and teapot slide off and shatter on the floor. Mrs Doyle then faints in his presence.
Earlier in the episode, Mrs Doyle had been shopping for "tea bags shaped like a really tall tower." When suddenly a certain Mrs Boyle literally glides up toward her. She demands to know when Eoin will be arriving, and Mrs Doyle cracks, revealing he will be arriving on Sunday. But she pleads with Mrs Boyle not to spread it around, as Eoin wouldn't want anyone to know. Mrs Boyle swears she won't blab: "May I be struck down with every disease that it is known for a middle aged woman to suffer from. And as you and I both know, Mrs Doyle, that's a hell of a lot of diseases."
However, Mrs Boyle breaks her promise and instantly spreads the word of Eoin's arrival on the island via the supermarket, the telephone operator, the cybercafe, the lighthouse and back to the supermarket, and soon all the middle-aged housekeepers of the island are gathering on the lawns of the Parochial House in their droves, swarming in from all directions. As Eoin selfishly counts down the seconds until his visit will end, he requests to leave but is blocked by the presence of the door, seemingly unable to operate it. He has to call his long-suffering assistant Patsy who is waiting in the hall. But they fail to escape as the women have now swarmed to the front doorstep and are preventing anyone from exiting.
The door is shut on Eoin, although he is pulled inside just in time as the women reach out to grab hold of him (though Ted, Dougal and Patsy have to fight to free him from the women's clutches- Jack, however, sits back and enjoys the fun). He is then trapped in the Parochial House for the night, where he causes more mayhem by ripping Dougal's Beano
The Beano
The Beano is a British children's comic, published by D.C. Thomson & Co and is arguably their most successful.The comic first appeared on 30 July 1938, and was published weekly. During the Second World War,The Beano and The Dandy were published on alternating weeks because of paper and ink...
when he is asleep, sneaking into the kitchen and helping himself to the jam jar in the fridge, and upsetting Mrs Doyle when she presents him with a banana cake (his favourite kind) into which she has baked a jumper similar to those he wears on TV.
When the women finally break into the house (having tricked Ted into talking about the "great" mass he gave the previous Sunday by opening the window so they can hear better), Eoin is asleep on an armchair and the women crowd around exchanging their thoughts on how lovely he is. Dougal and Patsy pull him away and they escape upstairs to a final showdown in the bathroom. There Eoin displays his innocence by playing games with Dougal while Patsy frets about the future in store for "the little ones". Suddenly the door breaks down, and the elderly women swarm in, eerily chanting "Eoin! Eoin!". Then the cock
Rooster
A rooster, also known as a cockerel, cock or chanticleer, is a male chicken with the female being called a hen. Immature male chickens of less than a year's age are called cockerels...
crows, signifying that dawn
Dawn
Dawn is the time that marks the beginning of the twilight before sunrise. It is recognized by the presence of weak sunlight, while the sun itself is still below the horizon...
has broken. Mrs Doyle saves the day by charging past the army of women, and declaring that it is after seven o'clock; meaning that the husbands of Eoin's devoted fans will be beginning to wonder where their breakfasts are. Ted agrees and reminds the women of their husbands' dependence on them - Mrs Dunne's husband tried to wash a cup the year before, and burned the house to the ground and Mrs Collins' husband attempted to make the beds on his own, and lost a leg in the process. To let them get through a day on their own would be a catastrophe. Ted sends the women back to their husbands, and the day is saved. Eoin is delighted, and cries out "Can I have this duck
Rubber duck
A rubber duck is a toy shaped like a stylised Yellow-billed Duck , and is generally yellow with a flat base. It may be made of rubber or rubber-like material such as vinyl plastic...
?".
When Eoin eventually leaves, he is annoyed by the fact that he has to wear the cakejumper, which is covered in crumbs and large chunks of dough. However, he kindly gives Mrs Doyle a peck on the cheek and thanks her, which leads to her fainting again. Patsy invites Ted onto the show, Dougal having told her how much Ted is always trying to get on TV. Ted initially declines... but quickly agrees when he hears there's a cash prize. When Ted appears on the quiz, he breezes through the first round answering questions on his specialist subject (which is William Shatner
William Shatner
William Alan Shatner is a Canadian actor, musician, recording artist, and author. He gained worldwide fame and became a cultural icon for his portrayal of James T...
's TekWar
TekWar
Tekwar is a series of science fiction novels officially authored by William Shatner and co-written by uncredited science-fiction author Ron Goulart, published by Putnam...
) and gets through to the final round. Eoin asks him what should be a simple question for a priest. However, Ted does not know what John Paul II's name was before he became Pope
Pope
The Pope is the Bishop of Rome, a position that makes him the leader of the worldwide Catholic Church . In the Catholic Church, the Pope is regarded as the successor of Saint Peter, the Apostle...
. After trying to think of the answer throughout the closing credits, he can merely offer the feeble guess of "Jim".
Eoin's obtuse behaviour is finally explained with the line, "I've no willy".