Love & Respect
Encyclopedia
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs is a self-help
book that was written in 2004 by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs that suggest a direct connection between the emotion
al needs of men and women and a verse of scripture found in the Bible
, that when adhered to, can strengthen and transform relationships
.
Ephesians
5:33 "Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
Dr. Eggerichs founded the nonprofit organization
Love and Respect Ministries in 1999 and held Love and Respect Marriage Conferences throughout the U.S. along with his wife Sarah. By 2003 Dr. Eggerichs had become a requested speaker on the Christian radio broadcast Focus on the Family
that is hosted by psychologist James Dobson
. The book was then produced with the assistance of Focus on the Family
and went on to make several top 10 book list and won several book awards including the 2007 Book of the Year for the Family Christian Stores
. Other awards include the Gold Medallion Award in 2005 and the Retailers Choice Awards. Dr. Eggerichs wrote a second follow-up to Love & Respect in 2009 titled The Language of Love & Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate
In 2010, Love and Respect for a Lifetime, a gift book for husbands and wives, was released.
and other passages in the Bible. The book is organized into three main sections.
The Crazy Cycle first illustrates that "Without love, she reacts without respect and without respect, he reacts without love". Misunderstandings in communication is expressed using simple metaphor
s to illustrate that men often use blue sunglasses and women often use pink sunglasses during communication. Practical strategies are then discussed to stop the Crazy Cycle from spinning, including the use of scientific findings by John Gottman
.
The Energizing Cycle next outlines strategies for improving a relationship by showing that "his love motivates her respect and her respect motivates his love", using two acronyms C-O-U-P-L-E (Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem) and C-H-A-I-R-S (Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality).
The Rewarded Cycle lastly is demonstrated by example using Scripture that "His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love". Connecting obedience to Christ in the correlation to a greater outcome in the relationship is suggested.
Self-help
Self-help, or self-improvement, is a self-guided improvement—economically, intellectually, or emotionally—often with a substantial psychological basis. There are many different self-help movements and each has its own focus, techniques, associated beliefs, proponents and in some cases, leaders...
book that was written in 2004 by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs that suggest a direct connection between the emotion
Emotion
Emotion is a complex psychophysiological experience of an individual's state of mind as interacting with biochemical and environmental influences. In humans, emotion fundamentally involves "physiological arousal, expressive behaviors, and conscious experience." Emotion is associated with mood,...
al needs of men and women and a verse of scripture found in the Bible
Bible
The Bible refers to any one of the collections of the primary religious texts of Judaism and Christianity. There is no common version of the Bible, as the individual books , their contents and their order vary among denominations...
, that when adhered to, can strengthen and transform relationships
Intimate relationship
An intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate love and attachment, or sexual activity. The term is also sometimes used euphemistically for a sexual...
.
Ephesians
Epistle to the Ephesians
The Epistle of Paul to the Ephesians, often shortened to Ephesians, is the tenth book of the New Testament. Its authorship has traditionally been credited to Paul, but it is considered by some scholars to be "deutero-Pauline," that is, written in Paul's name by a later author strongly influenced by...
5:33 "Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
Dr. Eggerichs founded the nonprofit organization
Nonprofit organization
Nonprofit organization is neither a legal nor technical definition but generally refers to an organization that uses surplus revenues to achieve its goals, rather than distributing them as profit or dividends...
Love and Respect Ministries in 1999 and held Love and Respect Marriage Conferences throughout the U.S. along with his wife Sarah. By 2003 Dr. Eggerichs had become a requested speaker on the Christian radio broadcast Focus on the Family
Focus on the Family
Focus on the Family is an American evangelical Christian tax-exempt non-profit organization founded in 1977 by psychologist James Dobson, and is based in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Focus on the Family is one of a number of evangelical parachurch organizations that rose to prominence in the 1980s...
that is hosted by psychologist James Dobson
James Dobson
James Clayton "Jim" Dobson, Jr. is an American evangelical Christian author, psychologist, and founder in 1977 of Focus on the Family , which he led until 2003. In the 1980s he was ranked as one of the most influential spokesman for conservative social positions in American public life...
. The book was then produced with the assistance of Focus on the Family
Focus on the Family
Focus on the Family is an American evangelical Christian tax-exempt non-profit organization founded in 1977 by psychologist James Dobson, and is based in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Focus on the Family is one of a number of evangelical parachurch organizations that rose to prominence in the 1980s...
and went on to make several top 10 book list and won several book awards including the 2007 Book of the Year for the Family Christian Stores
Family Christian Stores
Family Christian Stores is the world's largest Christian-focused retailer, and it is located in the United States. As of 2007, the retail chain had 4,600 employees in over 300 stores in 40 states...
. Other awards include the Gold Medallion Award in 2005 and the Retailers Choice Awards. Dr. Eggerichs wrote a second follow-up to Love & Respect in 2009 titled The Language of Love & Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate
In 2010, Love and Respect for a Lifetime, a gift book for husbands and wives, was released.
Summary
The book is built upon the theory that the "primary emotional needs" for men and women, respectively are that men need respect and women need love, like they need air to breathe. Dr. Eggerichs uses simple examples to illustrate real life situations in relationships and then often connects those situations to the verse in EphesiansEpistle to the Ephesians
The Epistle of Paul to the Ephesians, often shortened to Ephesians, is the tenth book of the New Testament. Its authorship has traditionally been credited to Paul, but it is considered by some scholars to be "deutero-Pauline," that is, written in Paul's name by a later author strongly influenced by...
and other passages in the Bible. The book is organized into three main sections.
The Crazy Cycle first illustrates that "Without love, she reacts without respect and without respect, he reacts without love". Misunderstandings in communication is expressed using simple metaphor
Metaphor
A metaphor is a literary figure of speech that uses an image, story or tangible thing to represent a less tangible thing or some intangible quality or idea; e.g., "Her eyes were glistening jewels." Metaphor may also be used for any rhetorical figures of speech that achieve their effects via...
s to illustrate that men often use blue sunglasses and women often use pink sunglasses during communication. Practical strategies are then discussed to stop the Crazy Cycle from spinning, including the use of scientific findings by John Gottman
John Gottman
John Mordecai Gottman is a Ph.D. psychologist known for his work on marital stability and relationship analysis through scientific direct observations published in peer-reviewed literature...
.
The Energizing Cycle next outlines strategies for improving a relationship by showing that "his love motivates her respect and her respect motivates his love", using two acronyms C-O-U-P-L-E (Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem) and C-H-A-I-R-S (Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality).
The Rewarded Cycle lastly is demonstrated by example using Scripture that "His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love". Connecting obedience to Christ in the correlation to a greater outcome in the relationship is suggested.