Love-hate relationship
Encyclopedia
A love–hate relationship is an interpersonal relationship
involving simultaneous or alternating emotion
s of love
and hate. This relationship does not have to be of a romantic
nature, and may be instead of a sibling one. It may occur when people have completely lost the intimacy within a loving relationship, yet still retain some passion
for, or perhaps some commitment
to, each other.
The term love–hate relationship has been used in several books on writing as an example of the use of the en dash.
The term is used frequently in psychology
, popular writing and journalism
. It can be applied to relationships with inanimate objects, or even concepts. It is sometimes employed by writers to refer to relationships between celebrity couples who have been divorced, then who reunite (notably Elizabeth Taylor
and Richard Burton
, or Eminem
and Kimberly Scott).
A related theme is "obligatory friendship
", where one party usually feels indebted to another and forges a friendship but still holds a grudge
over a particular past disappointment or set of disappointments, while the "creditor" in the relationship agrees to the nature of the relationship often for security reasons, but remains aware of the "debtor's" grudge and feels counter-indebted until the cause of the grudge is sufficiently overcome.
The concept is frequently used in teen romance novels where two characters are shown to hate each other but show some sort of affection or attraction towards each other at certain points of the story. The concept of a love-hate relationship is frequently used in teen novels to describe the romance between a good girl and a bad boy
.
Research from Yale University
suggests love–hate relationships may be the result of poor self-esteem
.
Interpersonal relationship
An interpersonal relationship is an association between two or more people that may range from fleeting to enduring. This association may be based on limerence, love, solidarity, regular business interactions, or some other type of social commitment. Interpersonal relationships are formed in the...
involving simultaneous or alternating emotion
Emotion
Emotion is a complex psychophysiological experience of an individual's state of mind as interacting with biochemical and environmental influences. In humans, emotion fundamentally involves "physiological arousal, expressive behaviors, and conscious experience." Emotion is associated with mood,...
s of love
Love
Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. In philosophical context, love is a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection. Love is central to many religions, as in the Christian phrase, "God is love" or Agape in the Canonical gospels...
and hate. This relationship does not have to be of a romantic
Romantic love
Romance is the pleasurable feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.In the context of romantic love relationships, romance usually implies an expression of one's love, or one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person....
nature, and may be instead of a sibling one. It may occur when people have completely lost the intimacy within a loving relationship, yet still retain some passion
Passion (emotion)
Passion is a term applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion compelling feeling, enthusiasm, or desire for something....
for, or perhaps some commitment
Commitment
Commitment may refer to:*Promise, or personal commitment*Contract, a legally binding exchange of promises*Brand commitment*Involuntary commitment, the use of legal means or forms to commit a person to a mental hospital, insane asylum or psychiatric ward...
to, each other.
The term love–hate relationship has been used in several books on writing as an example of the use of the en dash.
The term is used frequently in psychology
Psychology
Psychology is the study of the mind and behavior. Its immediate goal is to understand individuals and groups by both establishing general principles and researching specific cases. For many, the ultimate goal of psychology is to benefit society...
, popular writing and journalism
Journalism
Journalism is the practice of investigation and reporting of events, issues and trends to a broad audience in a timely fashion. Though there are many variations of journalism, the ideal is to inform the intended audience. Along with covering organizations and institutions such as government and...
. It can be applied to relationships with inanimate objects, or even concepts. It is sometimes employed by writers to refer to relationships between celebrity couples who have been divorced, then who reunite (notably Elizabeth Taylor
Elizabeth Taylor
Dame Elizabeth Rosemond "Liz" Taylor, DBE was a British-American actress. From her early years as a child star with MGM, she became one of the great screen actresses of Hollywood's Golden Age...
and Richard Burton
Richard Burton
Richard Burton, CBE was a Welsh actor. He was nominated seven times for an Academy Award, six of which were for Best Actor in a Leading Role , and was a recipient of BAFTA, Golden Globe and Tony Awards for Best Actor. Although never trained as an actor, Burton was, at one time, the highest-paid...
, or Eminem
Eminem
Marshall Bruce Mathers III , better known by his stage name Eminem or his alter ego Slim Shady, is an American rapper, record producer, songwriter and actor. Eminem's popularity brought his group project, D12, to mainstream recognition...
and Kimberly Scott).
A related theme is "obligatory friendship
Friendship
Friendship is a form of interpersonal relationship generally considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations. Friendship and association are often thought of as spanning across the same continuum...
", where one party usually feels indebted to another and forges a friendship but still holds a grudge
Grudge
A grudge is something that is held against someone for something or an issue they haven't resolved peacefully or discussed.Grudge may refer to:*The Grudge, a horror film**The Grudge *The Grudge , an album by Mortiis...
over a particular past disappointment or set of disappointments, while the "creditor" in the relationship agrees to the nature of the relationship often for security reasons, but remains aware of the "debtor's" grudge and feels counter-indebted until the cause of the grudge is sufficiently overcome.
The concept is frequently used in teen romance novels where two characters are shown to hate each other but show some sort of affection or attraction towards each other at certain points of the story. The concept of a love-hate relationship is frequently used in teen novels to describe the romance between a good girl and a bad boy
Bad boy (archetype)
The bad boy, cad or bounder is a cultural archetype of a male who behaves badly, especially towards women.Being a promiscuous rogue may be as successful a reproductive strategy as the strategy of being a reliable provider. Evolutionary psychologist Professor Bill von Hippel claims that women are...
.
Research from Yale University
Yale University
Yale University is a private, Ivy League university located in New Haven, Connecticut, United States. Founded in 1701 in the Colony of Connecticut, the university is the third-oldest institution of higher education in the United States...
suggests love–hate relationships may be the result of poor self-esteem
Self-esteem
Self-esteem is a term in psychology to reflect a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride and shame: some would distinguish how 'the self-concept is what we think about the self; self-esteem, the...
.
See also
- AmbivalenceAmbivalenceAmbivalence is a state of having simultaneous, conflicting feelings toward a person or thing. Stated another way, ambivalence is the experience of having thoughts and/or emotions of both positive and negative valence toward someone or something. A common example of ambivalence is the feeling of...
- Borderline personality disorderBorderline personality disorderBorderline personality disorder is a personality disorder described as a prolonged disturbance of personality function in a person , characterized by depth and variability of moods.The disorder typically involves unusual levels of instability in mood; black and white thinking, or splitting; the...
- False dilemmaFalse dilemmaA false dilemma is a type of logical fallacy that involves a situation in which only two alternatives are considered, when in fact there are additional options...
- Love triangleLove triangleA love triangle is usually a romantic relationship involving three people. While it can refer to two people independently romantically linked with a third, it usually implies that each of the three people has some kind of relationship to the other two...
- JealousyJealousyJealousy is a second emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions...
- Splitting (psychology)Splitting (psychology)Splitting may mean two things: splitting of the mind, and splitting of mental concepts . The latter is thinking purely in extremes Splitting (also called all-or-nothing thinking in cognitive distortion) may mean two things: splitting of the mind, and splitting of mental concepts (or black and...
- TsundereTsundereis a Japanese character development process that describes a person who is initially cold and even hostile towards another person before gradually showing their warm side over time. The word is derived from the terms , meaning to turn away in disgust, and meaning to become 'lovey dovey'...