How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All
Encyclopedia
How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All is the second comedy
Comedy
Comedy , as a popular meaning, is any humorous discourse or work generally intended to amuse by creating laughter, especially in television, film, and stand-up comedy. This must be carefully distinguished from its academic definition, namely the comic theatre, whose Western origins are found in...

 album recorded by The Firesign Theatre
The Firesign Theatre
The Firesign Theatre is an American comedy troupe consisting of Phil Austin, Peter Bergman, David Ossman and Philip Proctor. Their brand of surrealistic humor is best known through their record albums, which acquired a cult following in the late 1960s and early '70s.The troupe began as live radio...

. It was originally released in 1969 by Columbia Records
Columbia Records
Columbia Records is an American record label, owned by Japan's Sony Music Entertainment, operating under the Columbia Music Group with Aware Records. It was founded in 1888, evolving from an earlier enterprise, the American Graphophone Company — successor to the Volta Graphophone Company...

.

Side one

  1. "How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All" – 28:27:
    1. "Drink to Me Only with Thine Fox" (Mr. Catherwood and Ensemble) [CD retitle: "The Ralph Spoilsport Mantrum"] – 4:21
    2. "The Policemen's Brawl" (Officers Bradshaw and Henderson) [CD retitle: "Zeno's Evil"] – 4:34
    3. "Yankee Doodle Came to Terms" (All Fecal People's Chorus) [CD retitle: "The Land of the Pharaohs"] – 2:47
    4. "Über Dubbing Over Alice" ('Arry 'N' Friends) [CD Track retitle: "VACANCY-NO VACANCY"] – 1:34
    5. "You Ain't Got No Friends on the Left" (Babe and the Unknown Soldiers) [CD retitle: "The Lonesome American Choo-Choo Don' Wan' Stop Here Any Mo'"] – 7:34
    6. ""We're Bringing the War Back Home!" From Babes in Khaki" (Lilly Lamont*) (*Miss Lamont Courtesy of Paranoid Pictures) – 7:31 [split into 2 tracks on the CD, track titles below]:
      1. "Babes in Khaki" – 3:53
      2. "TV or Not TV" – 3:38


(This side of the vinyl LP
Album
An album is a collection of recordings, released as a single package on gramophone record, cassette, compact disc, or via digital distribution. The word derives from the Latin word for list .Vinyl LP records have two sides, each comprising one half of the album...

 was not divided into separate tracks, but the liner notes
Liner notes
Liner notes are the writings found in booklets which come inserted into the compact disc jewel case or the equivalent packaging for vinyl records and cassettes.-Origin:...

 list the above titles and tracks.)

Side two

  1. The Further Adventures of Nick Danger – 28:11
"From the Archives of the Original Firesign Theatre Radio Hour. As First Broadcast December 6, 1941. Rebroadcast Courtesy of Loostners Bros. Soap Co."

Detailed track information and commentary

The album consists of two 28-minute pieces, each taking up one side of the original vinyl release.

"How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All"

On side one, the title track opens with Philip Proctor
Philip Proctor
Philip Proctor is an American actor, voice actor and a member of The Firesign Theatre. He plays Rocky Rococo and Nancy in the Nick Danger series. He is from Goshen, Indiana...

 playing car salesman Ralph Spoilsport, a spoof of Southern California
Southern California
Southern California is a megaregion, or megapolitan area, in the southern area of the U.S. state of California. Large urban areas include Greater Los Angeles and Greater San Diego. The urban area stretches along the coast from Ventura through the Southland and Inland Empire to San Diego...

 Ford dealer Ralph Williams, who was well-known to Los Angeles
Los Ángeles
Los Ángeles is the capital of the province of Biobío, in the commune of the same name, in Region VIII , in the center-south of Chile. It is located between the Laja and Biobío rivers. The population is 123,445 inhabitants...

-area late-night TV viewers of the time. (Williams is eventually imitated on this track by all four Firesign members). As Ralph is extolling the virtues of a featured new car, the main character, Babe (Peter Bergman
Peter Bergman (comedian)
Peter Paul Bergman is an American writer and comedian, best known as a member of The Firesign Theatre. He plays Lt. Bradshaw in the Nick Danger series....

), runs across traffic onto the lot and interrupts Ralph's spiel with an immediate desire to buy the car in question. Ralph enthusiastically invites Babe inside his "beautiful new home".

The impossibly luxurious car contains what would now be called a "home entertainment system", each component of which Ralph demonstrates one by one, in an increasingly complex stereophonic jumble that is the sonic equivalent of the stateroom scene in the Marx Brothers
Marx Brothers
The Marx Brothers were an American family comedy act, originally from New York City, that enjoyed success in Vaudeville, Broadway, and motion pictures from the early 1900s to around 1950...

' film A Night at the Opera
A Night at the Opera (film)
A Night at the Opera is a 1935 American comedy film starring Groucho Marx, Chico Marx and Harpo Marx, and featuring Kitty Carlisle, Allan Jones, Margaret Dumont, Sig Ruman, and Walter Woolf King. It was the first film the Marx Brothers made for Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer after their departure from...

.

Babe buys the car and drives it onto the freeway. As he talks to himself, the signs along the freeway also "talk" as he passes them. One set of signs even shows Babe to be caught in one of Zeno's paradoxes
Zeno's paradoxes
Zeno's paradoxes are a set of problems generally thought to have been devised by Greek philosopher Zeno of Elea to support Parmenides's doctrine that "all is one" and that, contrary to the evidence of our senses, the belief in plurality and change is mistaken, and in particular that motion is...

, as the signs intone "Antelope Freeway, 1/2 mile.. Antelope Freeway, 1/4 mile... Antelope Freeway, 1/8 mile... Antelope Freeway, 1/16 mile", ad infinitum.

At this point, Babe notices the climate control
HVAC
HVAC refers to technology of indoor or automotive environmental comfort. HVAC system design is a major subdiscipline of mechanical engineering, based on the principles of thermodynamics, fluid mechanics, and heat transfer...

 switches, each with a themed name. He clicks "Tropical Paradise" and is suddenly transported to a tropical rainforest
Tropical rainforest
A tropical rainforest is an ecosystem type that occurs roughly within the latitudes 28 degrees north or south of the equator . This ecosystem experiences high average temperatures and a significant amount of rainfall...

 (complete with sounds of exotic birds and rainfall). He is then set upon by a troupe of wise-cracking explorers, including a W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield , better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer...

 pastiche
Pastiche
A pastiche is a literary or other artistic genre or technique that is a "hodge-podge" or imitation. The word is also a linguistic term used to describe an early stage in the development of a pidgin language.-Hodge-podge:...

, who appear to be on a half-hearted expedition. Frustrated by the interlopers, he switches the climate control to "Land of the Pharaohs
Land of the Pharaohs
Land of the Pharaohs is a 1955 CinemaScope epic film made by the Continental Company, Ltd and presented by Warner Bros. It was directed and produced by Howard Hawks from a screenplay by Harold Jack Bloom, Harry Kurnitz, and the novelist William Faulkner...

" and is then transported to Egypt
Egypt
Egypt , officially the Arab Republic of Egypt, Arabic: , is a country mainly in North Africa, with the Sinai Peninsula forming a land bridge in Southwest Asia. Egypt is thus a transcontinental country, and a major power in Africa, the Mediterranean Basin, the Middle East and the Muslim world...

... along with the explorers. Increasingly annoyed, he complains that the sun is setting and it will be night soon. They explain that he is confused, that the horizon is actually moving up, whereupon they stand him on his head to convince him that it is morning. Babe then loses his balance and falls to the ground ("He's no fun! He fell right over!" The same line is said at the same time on the Nick Danger side of the record and Nick notices it). The group continues to joke around with Babe, until one of them who claims to know Egyptian
Egyptian language
Egyptian is the oldest known indigenous language of Egypt and a branch of the Afroasiatic language family. Written records of the Egyptian language have been dated from about 3400 BC, making it one of the oldest recorded languages known. Egyptian was spoken until the late 17th century AD in the...

 comes forward to help, but instead of speaking true Egyptian, he literally describes hieroglyphics. Hearing a loud rumbling, the group realizes that a pyramid
Pyramid
A pyramid is a structure whose outer surfaces are triangular and converge at a single point. The base of a pyramid can be trilateral, quadrilateral, or any polygon shape, meaning that a pyramid has at least three triangular surfaces...

 is opening ("Which one?" "The one with the ever-widening hole in it!") and Babe runs into it to discover a hotel lobby inside.

The piece gradually morphs into an ironic celebration of America itself, as presumably exemplified by Babe's new car purchase. A panoply of characters talk and sing, in a manner reminiscent of a Norman Corwin
Norman Corwin
Norman Lewis Corwin was an American writer, screenwriter, producer, essayist and teacher of journalism and writing...

 patriotic radio pageant, about America and its history, including sardonic references to slavery
Slavery
Slavery is a system under which people are treated as property to be bought and sold, and are forced to work. Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation...

 and the conquest of the Indians
Indigenous peoples of the Americas
The indigenous peoples of the Americas are the pre-Columbian inhabitants of North and South America, their descendants and other ethnic groups who are identified with those peoples. Indigenous peoples are known in Canada as Aboriginal peoples, and in the United States as Native Americans...

. At one point, each member of the group repeats the names of the politicians who ran in the 1968 American presidential election in a way that mimics a steam locomotive
Steam locomotive
A steam locomotive is a railway locomotive that produces its power through a steam engine. These locomotives are fueled by burning some combustible material, usually coal, wood or oil, to produce steam in a boiler, which drives the steam engine...

: "Rockefeller
Nelson Rockefeller
Nelson Aldrich Rockefeller was the 41st Vice President of the United States , serving under President Gerald Ford, and the 49th Governor of New York , as well as serving the Roosevelt, Truman and Eisenhower administrations in a variety of positions...

, Nixon
Richard Nixon
Richard Milhous Nixon was the 37th President of the United States, serving from 1969 to 1974. The only president to resign the office, Nixon had previously served as a US representative and senator from California and as the 36th Vice President of the United States from 1953 to 1961 under...

, Humphrey
Hubert Humphrey
Hubert Horatio Humphrey, Jr. , served under President Lyndon B. Johnson as the 38th Vice President of the United States. Humphrey twice served as a United States Senator from Minnesota, and served as Democratic Majority Whip. He was a founder of the Minnesota Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party and...

, Kennedy... ." Eventually, Babe is enlisted into the army, and after a musical number performed by Lillie LaMont (also referred to as Lurlene, and Miss DeAngelo), it is revealed that the entire segment, titled "Babes In Khaki", was a television
Television
Television is a telecommunication medium for transmitting and receiving moving images that can be monochrome or colored, with accompanying sound...

 program, and the channel soon is changed repeatedly, cycling through snippets of random commercials and program segments. At one point a crime drama is heard, with tough guys saying they hate cops -- until one of them says "I'm gonna -- turn in my badge." The speaker is Nick Danger; this is his origin story.

At the end, Spoilsport returns in one of the commercials with an increasingly nonsensical monologue that begins as an ad for a marijuana dealership in the style of a Williams automobile commercial ("Our complete price to you, including sticks and stems and seeds..."), and climaxes
Climax (narrative)
The Climax is the point in the story where the main character's point of view changes, or the most exciting/action filled part of the story. It also known has the main turning point in the story...

 with a close paraphrase of Molly Bloom's Soliloquy
Molly Bloom's Soliloquy
Molly Bloom's soliloquy is presented in the eighteenth, and final, chapter of James Joyce's novel Ulysses. It is a compilation of the thoughts of Molly Bloom, the concert-singing wife of advertising agent Leopold Bloom, whose wanderings around Dublin are followed in much of the book...

, the closing portion of James Joyce
James Joyce
James Augustine Aloysius Joyce was an Irish novelist and poet, considered to be one of the most influential writers in the modernist avant-garde of the early 20th century...

's Ulysses
Ulysses (novel)
Ulysses is a novel by the Irish author James Joyce. It was first serialised in parts in the American journal The Little Review from March 1918 to December 1920, and then published in its entirety by Sylvia Beach on 2 February 1922, in Paris. One of the most important works of Modernist literature,...

.

"The Further Adventures of Nick Danger"

"The Further Adventures of Nick Danger" is probably the group's most famous recording, its characters having been reused in many subsequent sketches. It is presented as a 1940s radio
Radio
Radio is the transmission of signals through free space by modulation of electromagnetic waves with frequencies below those of visible light. Electromagnetic radiation travels by means of oscillating electromagnetic fields that pass through the air and the vacuum of space...

 drama, the "episode" title here being "Cut 'Em Off at the Past."

Nick Danger (Phil Austin
Phil Austin
Phil Austin is a comedian and writer. He was born in Denver, Colorado and later grew up in Fresno, California, attending Fresno High School...

) is a '40s-style detective
Detective
A detective is an investigator, either a member of a police agency or a private person. The latter may be known as private investigators or "private eyes"...

 character in the Raymond Chandler
Raymond Chandler
Raymond Thornton Chandler was an American novelist and screenwriter.In 1932, at age forty-five, Raymond Chandler decided to become a detective fiction writer after losing his job as an oil company executive during the Depression. His first short story, "Blackmailers Don't Shoot", was published in...

 mold. In live performances and photographs, he wears the stereotypical fedora and trench coat. He has the obligatory nemesis on the police force, Lieutenant Bradshaw (Bergman), who questions his every move. His "mark" is Rocky Rococo (Proctor), a Peter Lorre
Peter Lorre
Peter Lorre was an Austrian-American actor frequently typecast as a sinister foreigner.He caused an international sensation in 1931 with his portrayal of a serial killer who preys on little girls in the German film M...

 imitation. True to the cliché
Cliché
A cliché or cliche is an expression, idea, or element of an artistic work which has been overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, especially when at some earlier time it was considered meaningful or novel. In phraseology, the term has taken on a more technical meaning,...

s of the genre, there is a suspicious butler, Catherwood (David Ossman
David Ossman
David Ossman is an American writer and comedian, best known as a member of The Firesign Theatre.-Career:...

), and a femme fatale
Femme fatale
A femme fatale is a mysterious and seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire, often leading them into compromising, dangerous, and deadly situations. She is an archetype of literature and art...

, Nancy (Proctor).

Compared to other Firesign Theatre material, this sketch is a rather straightforward, basically plot-driven narrative, though it is loaded with references to The Beatles
The Beatles
The Beatles were an English rock band, active throughout the 1960s and one of the most commercially successful and critically acclaimed acts in the history of popular music. Formed in Liverpool, by 1962 the group consisted of John Lennon , Paul McCartney , George Harrison and Ringo Starr...

, the I Ching
I Ching
The I Ching or "Yì Jīng" , also known as the Classic of Changes, Book of Changes and Zhouyi, is one of the oldest of the Chinese classic texts...

, and other counterculture
Counterculture
Counterculture is a sociological term used to describe the values and norms of behavior of a cultural group, or subculture, that run counter to those of the social mainstream of the day, the cultural equivalent of political opposition. Counterculture can also be described as a group whose behavior...

 topics. It also features various self-reflective post-modern jokes, such as a scene where the fire two characters are ostensibly sitting around is referred to as "the cellophane
Cellophane
Cellophane is a thin, transparent sheet made of regenerated cellulose. Its low permeability to air, oils, greases, bacteria and water makes it useful for food packaging...

". (The sound of fire was famously simulated by crinkling cellophane on old radio dramas.)

At the end of the sketch, the action is interrupted at a crucial moment by a "late-breaking announcement" from President Franklin Delano Roosevelt (Ossman), who wearily tells the American people that Pearl Harbor
Pearl Harbor
Pearl Harbor, known to Hawaiians as Puuloa, is a lagoon harbor on the island of Oahu, Hawaii, west of Honolulu. Much of the harbor and surrounding lands is a United States Navy deep-water naval base. It is also the headquarters of the U.S. Pacific Fleet...

 has just been attacked, and that the United States will unconditionally surrender to the Japan
Japan
Japan is an island nation in East Asia. Located in the Pacific Ocean, it lies to the east of the Sea of Japan, China, North Korea, South Korea and Russia, stretching from the Sea of Okhotsk in the north to the East China Sea and Taiwan in the south...

ese.

The record ends with the cast switching to the other side of the LP, "take 600".

Issues and reissues

This album was originally released on both LP and 8 track, and was later released on cassette.
  • LP - Columbia CS-9884
  • 8 Track - Columbia 18C-09884
  • Cassette - PCT-09884


It has been reissued on CD at least 5 times:
  • In 1988 by Mobile Fidelity
    Mobile Fidelity Sound Lab
    Mobile Fidelity Sound Lab is a company known as an innovator in the production of audiophile-quality sound recordings. All releases are advertised as being produced from the first-generation analog master recordings, and using proprietary technology, which MFSL claims allows for improved sound...

     - MFCD-762
  • In 1995 by Sony/Legacy - CK-9884
  • In 2001 by Sony/Legacy - CK-85774, purchasable from Laugh.com - Order #LGH1070

Artwork

The front cover of the album features photographs of Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx
Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx was an American comedian and film star famed as a master of wit. His rapid-fire delivery of innuendo-laden patter earned him many admirers. He made 13 feature films with his siblings the Marx Brothers, of whom he was the third-born...

 and John Lennon
John Lennon
John Winston Lennon, MBE was an English musician and singer-songwriter who rose to worldwide fame as one of the founding members of The Beatles, one of the most commercially successful and critically acclaimed acts in the history of popular music...

 framed by faux Cyrillic
Faux Cyrillic
Faux Cyrillic, pseudo-Cyrillic, pseudo-Russian or faux Russian typography is the use of Cyrillic letters in Latin text to evoke the Soviet Union or Russia, regardless of whether the letters are phonetic matches. For example, R and N in RUSSIAN may be replaced by Cyrillic Я and И, giving "ЯUSSIAИ"...

 lettering, "ДLL НДІL МДRX LЄИИФИ". Because of this, the album is sometimes erroneously referred to as All Hail Мarx and Lennon.

The back cover is an overhead shot of the four members looking up at the camera, with Proctor standing on Austin's foot.

Inside the gatefold of the album there are eight posed photos representing various scenes from "The Further Adventures of Nick Danger."

In popular culture

There are several bars around the United States
United States
The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...

 named "Nick Danger's". There is a clothing line called "Nick Danger", as well as a garage band, a porn star, a site about board games (now defunct), and a radio DJ all using the name. "Rocky Rococo" is the name of a pizza-and-pasta restaurant chain
Rocky Rococo
Rocky Rococo is a chain of North American restaurants, which specializes in selling pan-style pizza by the slice. Wayne Mosley and Roger Brown opened their first store in Madison, Wisconsin, in 1974. They sold the franchise rights of the company to Tom Hester and a group of investors in 1987...

 based in Wisconsin.

External links

  • Firesign Theatre. Firesign Theatre. 19 Jan. 2006 .
  • Firesign Theatre. How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All. Columbia Records, 1969.
  • "FIREZINE: Linques!." Firesign Theatre FAQ. 20 Jan. 2006 .
  • Marsh, Dave, and Greil Marcus. "The Firesign Theatre." The New Rolling Stone Record Guide. Ed. Dave Marsh and John Swenson. New York: Random House, 1983. 175-176.
  • Smith, Ronald L. The Goldmine Comedy Record Price Guide. Iola: Krause, 1996.
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