[trying to rationalize why he can see Tinkerbell] You're a... you're a complex Freudian hallucination having something to do with my mother and I don't know why you have wings, but you have very lovely legs and you're a very nice tiny person and what am I saying, I don't know who my mother was; I'm an orphan and I've never done drugs because I missed the sixties, I was an accountant.
[to a pirate who admires his boots] I think you can get them at Armani.
Hook, you let those kids out of that net in less than one minute or you better get an attorney and hope to God he's better than me.
Don't mess with me man, I'm a lawyer!
[after Rufio draws his sword] All right! Okay, show's over, you put that thing away! Now put it down before you poke somebody's eye out!
[unearthing his cell phone] Wow. [opens it and holds it to his ear] Brad! Hi! ...you been holding this long? ...Uh huh. ...Neverland. Lost Boys. Jim Hook, duel to the death, I'll tell you about it later. Listen, I'd love to chat... but I gotta climb a drain pipe right now. "Why?" Because I ran out of fairy dust, if not I would've flown up. [hangs up] Pssh, "Why?"
It's Hook or me this time.
No amount of clapping, will bring you back from where i will send you.
Revenge is Mine.
He'll crow. He'll fight. He'll fly. And then... he'll die.