Denial, Anger, Acceptance (The Sopranos episode)
Encyclopedia
"Denial, Anger, Acceptance" is the third episode of the HBO original series The Sopranos
The Sopranos
The Sopranos is an American television drama series created by David Chase that revolves around the New Jersey-based Italian-American mobster Tony Soprano and the difficulties he faces as he tries to balance the often conflicting requirements of his home life and the criminal organization he heads...

. It was written by Mark Saraceni, directed by Nick Gomez
Nick Gomez
Nick Gomez is an American film director and actor. He has directed for a number of television and film studios. He has also acted in a few minor films...

 and originally aired on January 24, 1999.

Starring

  • James Gandolfini
    James Gandolfini
    James J. Gandolfini, Jr. is an Italian American actor. He is best known for his role as Tony Soprano in the HBO TV series The Sopranos, about a troubled crime boss struggling to balance his family life and career in the Mafia...

     as Tony Soprano
    Tony Soprano
    Anthony John "Tony" Soprano, Sr. is an Italian-American fictional character and the protagonist on the HBO television drama series The Sopranos, on which he is portrayed by James Gandolfini. The character was conceived by The Sopranos creator and show runner David Chase, who was also largely...

  • Lorraine Bracco
    Lorraine Bracco
    Lorraine Bracco is an American actress. She is best known for her TV roles as Dr. Jennifer Melfi on HBO series, The Sopranos, and Angela Rizzoli on the TNT series, Rizzoli & Isles...

     as Dr. Jennifer Melfi
  • Edie Falco
    Edie Falco
    Edith "Edie" Falco is an American television, film and stage actress, known for her roles in Oz as Diane Wittlesey, as Carmela Soprano on the HBO series The Sopranos, and as the titular character on the Showtime series Nurse Jackie...

     as Carmela Soprano
    Carmela Soprano
    Carmela Soprano née DeAngelis, played by Edie Falco, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. She is the wife of Mafia boss Tony Soprano and the program's most prominent female character.-Character biography:...

  • Michael Imperioli
    Michael Imperioli
    James Michael Imperioli , commonly known as Michael Imperioli, is an American actor and television writer. He is perhaps best known for his role as Christopher Moltisanti on The Sopranos for which he won the Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series in 2004. He also...

     as Christopher Moltisanti
    Christopher Moltisanti
    Christopher "Chris" Moltisanti, played by Michael Imperioli, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. He was Tony Soprano's protégé and a Capo in the Soprano crime family.-Biography:...

  • Dominic Chianese
    Dominic Chianese
    Dominic Chianese is an American film, television and theatre actor, perhaps best known for his role as Corrado "Junior" Soprano on the HBO TV series, The Sopranos.-Early life:...

     as Corrado Soprano, Jr.
    Junior Soprano
    Corrado John Soprano, Jr., played by Dominic Chianese, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. Usually referred to as "Junior" or "Uncle Jun", he is the mentor and surrogate father for capo Tony Soprano. A younger Corrado sometimes appears in flashbacks and is played by Rocco...

  • Vincent Pastore
    Vincent Pastore
    Vincent Pastore is an Italian-American actor, often cast as a mobster and best known for the role of Salvatore "Big Pussy" Bonpensiero on The Sopranos.-Early life:...

     as Pussy Bonpensiero *
  • Steven Van Zandt
    Steven Van Zandt
    Steven Van Zandt is an Italian-American musician, songwriter, arranger, record producer, actor, and radio disc jockey, who frequently goes by the stage names Little Steven or Miami Steve...

     as Silvio Dante
    Silvio Dante
    Silvio Manfred Dante, often referred to as "Sil", played by Steven Van Zandt, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. He is the consigliere to Tony Soprano in the Soprano crime family. Silvio has one of the lowest profiles on the show. He is usually a behind the scenes figure...

  • Tony Sirico
    Tony Sirico
    Genaro Anthony "Tony" Sirico, Jr. is an American character actor who is most famous for his role as Paulie Gualtieri in the television series The Sopranos.- Background and career :Sirico was born in Midwood, Brooklyn...

     as Paulie Gualtieri
    Paulie Gualtieri
    Peter Paul "Paulie Walnuts" Gualtieri played by Tony Sirico, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. He is a caporegime and later underboss in the Soprano crime family.-Plot details:...

  • Robert Iler
    Robert Iler
    Robert Michael Iler is an American actor, known for his portrayal of A.J. Soprano on The Sopranos which aired on HBO from 1999-2007....

     as Anthony Soprano, Jr.
    Anthony Soprano, Jr.
    Anthony John "A.J." Soprano, Jr. , played by Robert Iler, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. Usually just called "A.J.", he is the son of Carmela and Tony Soprano. He is a prototypical underachiever and is a constant source of stress and anxiety for his parents...

     *
  • Jamie-Lynn Sigler
    Jamie-Lynn Sigler
    Jamie-Lynn Sigler is an American actress and singer. She is best known for her role as Meadow Soprano on the HBO television series The Sopranos.-Early life:...

     as Meadow Soprano
    Meadow Soprano
    Meadow Mariangela Soprano , played by Jamie-Lynn Sigler, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos.-Character:Meadow is the first-born child of Tony and Carmela Soprano...

  • and Nancy Marchand
    Nancy Marchand
    Nancy Marchand was an American actress, whose career encompassed both stage and screen. She appeared in various theatre productions throughout the early 1950s, before being offered roles on film and television....

     as Livia Soprano
    Livia Soprano
    Livia Soprano , played by Nancy Marchand, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. She is the mother of Tony Soprano. A young Livia, played by Laila Robins and later by Laurie J. Williams is sometimes seen in flashbacks...



* = credit only

Guest Starring

  • Michael Rispoli
    Michael Rispoli
    Michael Rispoli is an American character actor. He was formerly part of the HBO television series The Sopranos as Jackie Aprile, Sr...

     as Jackie Aprile, Sr
    Jackie Aprile, Sr
    Giacomo Michael "Jackie" Aprile, Sr., played by Michael Rispoli, was a fictional character on the HBO original series The Sopranos. He was the first Acting Boss of the DiMeo Crime Family, after longtime reputed Boss Ercole 'Eckley' DiMeo was sent to prison in 1995...

  • Jerry Adler
    Jerry Adler
    Jerry Adler is an American theatre director, production supervisor and a television and film actor.Adler was born in Brooklyn, New York, the son of Pauline and Philip Adler, who was a general manager of the Group Theatre...

     as Hesh Rabkin
  • John Ventimiglia
    John Ventimiglia
    John Ventimiglia is an American actor, known for his role as Artie Bucco on the HBO television series The Sopranos. He has had parts in feature films such as Cop Land, Jesus' Son, and Mickey Blue Eyes and has appeared in numerous television shows including Law & Order and NYPD Blue...

     as Artie Bucco
  • Katherine Narducci as Charmaine Bucco
  • Ned Eisenberg
    Ned Eisenberg
    Ned Eisenberg is an American actor known for his recurring role on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit as Roger Kressler....

     as Ariel
  • Chuck Low
    Chuck Low
    Charleston Lewis "Chuck" Low is an American character actor.Born to a Polish mother and German-Jewish father, Low achieved his biggest success as Maurice "Morrie" Kessler in the Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas...

     as Shlomo

Also Guest Starring

  • Al Sapienza
    Al Sapienza
    Al Sapienza is a prolific American actor, who has had numerous roles in television, stage and film productions. He is most well known for his role as Mikey Palmice on the HBO series The Sopranos. He played the role of Dr...

     as Mikey Palmice
    Mikey Palmice
    Michael "Mikey Grab Bag" Palmice , played by Al Sapienza, was a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos.-Plot details:Palmice starts out as a soldier in Corrado "Junior" Soprano's crew as his driver and bodyguard. After Jackie Aprile dies, Junior becomes boss, and Palmice is promoted...

  • Anthony DeSando
    Anthony DeSando
    Anthony De Sando , also known as Anthony Joseph De Santis, is an American actor. He is of Italian descent, his grandparents were immigrants from the southern Italian regions, they emigrated due to better work opportunities to the United States...

     as Brendan Filone
    Brendan Filone
    Brendan Filone, played by Anthony DeSando, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos.-Background:On The Sopranos, Brendan Filone was Christopher Moltisanti's friend and partner in crime and an associate of Tony Soprano. Brendan was addicted to crystal meth, and often used it with...

  • Drea de Matteo
    Drea de Matteo
    Drea de Matteo is an American television actress, perhaps best known for her roles Joey Tribbiani's sister Gina on the NBC sitcom Joey, as Angie Bolen on ABC's Desperate Housewives, and as Adriana La Cerva on the acclaimed HBO TV series The Sopranos, a role for which she won the Primetime Emmy...

     as Adriana
    Adriana La Cerva
    Adriana La Cerva played by Drea de Matteo, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. She is the long-time girlfriend and, later, fiancée of Tony Soprano's protégé, Christopher Moltisanti.-Character history:...

  • Sharon Angela
    Sharon Angela
    Sharon Angela is an American film, television actress, screenwriter and director. Angela is probably most well known for her portrayal of Rosalie Aprile on the HBO series, The Sopranos....

     as Rosalie Aprile
  • Oksana Lada
    Oksana Lada
    Oksana Lada is a Ukraine born actress, probably best known for the role of Irina Peltsin, the mistress of Tony Soprano on the hit HBO TV show The Sopranos. She also had a role as a wedding dress saleswoman in 30 Rock, Season 2, Episode 1, "Seinfeldvision."...

     as Irina Peltsin
  • Michelle DeCesare as Hunter Scangarelo
  • Sig Libowitz
    Sig Libowitz
    Sig Libowitz is an American lawyer, actor, film executive, writer and producer.Libowitz is notable for writing, producing, and acting in a film, The Response, which he wrote after reading the actual transcripts from the Guantanamo detainees' Combatant Status Review Tribunals.Libowitz was a Vice...

     as Hillel

  • Sasha Nesterov as Russian Man
  • Bernadette Penotti as Nurse
  • Slava Schoot as Russian Man
  • Angelica Torn
    Angelica Torn
    Angelica Torn is an American award winning actress, director, producer and screenwriter and the only daughter of actors Rip Torn and the late Geraldine Page.She legally and professionally changed her name to Angelica Page in September, 2011....

     as Woman at Party
  • Joseph Tudisco as Trucker
  • Jennifer Wiltsie as Miss Marris


Episode recap

Christopher
Christopher Moltisanti
Christopher "Chris" Moltisanti, played by Michael Imperioli, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. He was Tony Soprano's protégé and a Capo in the Soprano crime family.-Biography:...

 and Brendan Filone
Brendan Filone
Brendan Filone, played by Anthony DeSando, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos.-Background:On The Sopranos, Brendan Filone was Christopher Moltisanti's friend and partner in crime and an associate of Tony Soprano. Brendan was addicted to crystal meth, and often used it with...

 return the stolen truck to Comley Trucking, but Junior Soprano
Junior Soprano
Corrado John Soprano, Jr., played by Dominic Chianese, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. Usually referred to as "Junior" or "Uncle Jun", he is the mentor and surrogate father for capo Tony Soprano. A younger Corrado sometimes appears in flashbacks and is played by Rocco...

 is not satisfied. Junior and Mikey Palmice
Mikey Palmice
Michael "Mikey Grab Bag" Palmice , played by Al Sapienza, was a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos.-Plot details:Palmice starts out as a soldier in Corrado "Junior" Soprano's crew as his driver and bodyguard. After Jackie Aprile dies, Junior becomes boss, and Palmice is promoted...

 discuss their options for dealing with the two guys and Tony
Tony Soprano
Anthony John "Tony" Soprano, Sr. is an Italian-American fictional character and the protagonist on the HBO television drama series The Sopranos, on which he is portrayed by James Gandolfini. The character was conceived by The Sopranos creator and show runner David Chase, who was also largely...

, and Junior begins to agree with Mikey through his frustration.

Silvio Dante
Silvio Dante
Silvio Manfred Dante, often referred to as "Sil", played by Steven Van Zandt, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. He is the consigliere to Tony Soprano in the Soprano crime family. Silvio has one of the lowest profiles on the show. He is usually a behind the scenes figure...

 approaches Tony on behalf of hotel owner Shlomo Teittleman, a Hasidic Jew, and a friend of Silvio Dante's. The man agrees to turn over 25% of his business to Tony if he is able to force the man's son-in-law into agreeing to a divorce with no compensation. This is because the son-in-law wants 50% and the government has put an end to the "self-policing" Hasidics previously available to the hotel owner. However, Tony's Jewish friend Hesh Rabkin, warns Tony not to get involved with the Hasidic Jews. Paulie Gualtieri
Paulie Gualtieri
Peter Paul "Paulie Walnuts" Gualtieri played by Tony Sirico, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. He is a caporegime and later underboss in the Soprano crime family.-Plot details:...

 and Silvio accost Ariel, the son-in-law, but are unable to convince him to walk away from the marriage and the hotel with nothing. During a second encounter, where they kidnap him and fail to break him after a long fight where Ariel proves adept at defending himself and not submitting to their demands, they seek help from Tony. Ariel challenges the men to kill him, believing his death will bring spiritual harm to the hotel owner's family and to his assailants. He references Masada
Masada
Masada is the name for a site of ancient palaces and fortifications in the South District of Israel, on top of an isolated rock plateau, or horst, on the eastern edge of the Judean Desert, overlooking the Dead Sea. Masada is best known for the violence that occurred there in the first century CE...

, site of a long siege between a small number of Jew and legions of Roman soldiers that ended in the mass suicide of the Jews who chose death over enslavement. Paulie and Silvio can't crack him so they call Tony away from time with his comáre
Mistress (lover)
A mistress is a long-term female lover and companion who is not married to her partner; the term is used especially when her partner is married. The relationship generally is stable and at least semi-permanent; however, the couple does not live together openly. Also the relationship is usually,...

 Irina to help them. Tony cannot intimidate Ariel either, so he is forced to swallow his pride and call Hesh in the late night hours, admitting he refused Hesh's advice not to get involved. After taking Hesh's suggestion that the threat of castration
Castration
Castration is any action, surgical, chemical, or otherwise, by which a male loses the functions of the testicles or a female loses the functions of the ovaries.-Humans:...

 is worse than death, Tony is able to get Ariel to agree to the divorce on their terms. Shlomo then refuses to give Tony his share, instead offering cash, because he believes he negotiated the solution through violence and threats, and he would offer Ariel 15% ownership of the motel. When Tony insists on the original 25% arrangement Shlomo says he has created a golem
Golem
In Jewish folklore, a golem is an animated anthropomorphic being, created entirely from inanimate matter. The word was used to mean an amorphous, unformed material in Psalms and medieval writing....

; when Tony asks what that means, he calls him a Frankenstein
Frankenstein
Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus is a novel about a failed experiment that produced a monster, written by Mary Shelley, with inserts of poems by Percy Bysshe Shelley. Shelley started writing the story when she was eighteen, and the novel was published when she was twenty-one. The first...

.

In therapy, Tony discusses the cancer diagnosis of acting boss, Jackie Aprile, Sr.  Dr. Melfi
Jennifer Melfi
Jennifer Melfi, M.D., is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. She is the psychiatrist of Mafia boss Tony Soprano. She is portrayed by Lorraine Bracco.-Character description:...

 tries to use it as an example to show Tony he is trapped in negative thinking. Tony becomes angry and storms out because he thinks psychiatrists try to manipulate people into feeling certain things. The crew visit Jackie in hospital where he is being cared for by his wife, Rosalie. Tony later returns with a dancer from the Bada Bing
Bada Bing
The Bada Bing! is a fictional strip club from the HBO drama television series The Sopranos. It was a key location for events in the series, named for catchphrase "bada bing", a phrase popularized by James Caan in The Godfather. The popularization of the fictional club benefited the real-life go-go...

 to give Jackie a private party. On a third visit, Jackie's condition seems to have worsened and he is too preoccupied with his illness to talk business. Tony discusses Jackie's downturn and the insult from Shlomo with Dr. Melfi. She asks him if he feels like a monster, i.e., lacking in feelings.

Carmela
Carmela Soprano
Carmela Soprano née DeAngelis, played by Edie Falco, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. She is the wife of Mafia boss Tony Soprano and the program's most prominent female character.-Character biography:...

 organizes a silent auction at the Soprano home to raise money for a pediatric hospital. She recruits Charmaine and Artie Bucco to cater the event while visiting their new home. Tony and Artie have a good natured food fight after Tony tells Artie to stop whining about the fire in his restaurant and start looking towards the future. Carmela offends Charmaine by treating her like a servant by using the same hand gesture she uses when calling her Polish
Poles
thumb|right|180px|The state flag of [[Poland]] as used by Polish government and diplomatic authoritiesThe Polish people, or Poles , are a nation indigenous to Poland. They are united by the Polish language, which belongs to the historical Lechitic subgroup of West Slavic languages of Central Europe...

 servant. Later, to avenge the insult and to respond to Carmela's constant reassurance that Artie and her will be back on their feet, Charmaine reveals that she and Tony once slept together before they were married, and that she is happy with the choice she made by marrying Artie.

Meadow
Meadow Soprano
Meadow Mariangela Soprano , played by Jamie-Lynn Sigler, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos.-Character:Meadow is the first-born child of Tony and Carmela Soprano...

 and Hunter are exhausted. The SAT
SAT
The SAT Reasoning Test is a standardized test for college admissions in the United States. The SAT is owned, published, and developed by the College Board, a nonprofit organization in the United States. It was formerly developed, published, and scored by the Educational Testing Service which still...

s and their choir recital fall on the same day, and they don’t have enough time to practice and study. They decide the best solution is to get some speed from Christopher and Brendan. Christopher rationalizes that it's better they get it from him than from street dealers on Jefferson Avenue and agrees to give it to Meadow "just this once."

Junior visits Livia
Livia Soprano
Livia Soprano , played by Nancy Marchand, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos. She is the mother of Tony Soprano. A young Livia, played by Laila Robins and later by Laurie J. Williams is sometimes seen in flashbacks...

 at Green Grove and discusses the Christopher and Brendan situation. Livia points out that both she and Tony love Christopher like a son (her affection earned one year when Christopher put up her storm windows). She suggests that Junior only give Tony's hot-tempered nephew a "talking to," but says that she "doesn't know" about Brendan. Junior compliments Livia on her wise decision-making. She scoffs, sarcastically remarking that she must be "a babbling idiot" for Tony to put her in a nursing home.

The "talking to" given to Christopher manifests as a mock execution at the hands of Russian goons. Brendan's punishment is a bullet through the eye via the gun of Junior's trigger man, Mikey Palmice. Both scenes are inter-cut with Meadow's recital, allowing her choir's version of the lullaby "All Through the Night
Ar Hyd y Nos
Ar Hyd y Nos is a Welsh folksong sung to a tune that was first recorded in Edward Jones' Musical and Poetical Relics of the Welsh Bards . The Welsh lyrics were written by John Ceiriog Hughes, and has been translated into several languages, including English and Breton.The melody was used by John...

" to decorate the violence. This scene is similar to the baptism in The Godfather
The Godfather
The Godfather is a 1972 American epic crime film directed by Francis Ford Coppola, based on the 1969 novel by Mario Puzo. With a screenplay by Puzo, Coppola and an uncredited Robert Towne, the film stars Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, Robert Duvall, Sterling Hayden, John Marley, Richard...

 in which a peaceful event unfolds at the same time as mob violence.

First appearance

  • Rosalie Aprile: wife of acting boss, Jackie Aprile, and friend of Carmela Soprano.
  • Hillel Teittleman: Co-owner of the Fly Away motel.

Deceased

  • Brendan Filone
    Brendan Filone
    Brendan Filone, played by Anthony DeSando, is a fictional character on the HBO TV series The Sopranos.-Background:On The Sopranos, Brendan Filone was Christopher Moltisanti's friend and partner in crime and an associate of Tony Soprano. Brendan was addicted to crystal meth, and often used it with...

    : shot through the eye by Mikey Palmice on orders of uncle Junior.

Connections to future episodes

  • With Tony as a co-owner, the Teitlemann hotel is seen many times throughout the series. A suite is used to host poker games, prostitutes use the rooms to service their clients, and Murmur collects credit card information from the front desk.
  • Chris tells Meadow he will sell her drugs to keep her from going to street dealers because they would rob her and leave her on the side of the road. This is exactly what happens to Chris while out trying to buy drugs in season four.
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