Billy Quan was a fictional television character who originated in the Seattle TV comedy series Almost Live!

Almost Live!

Almost Live! was a local sketch comedy television show in Seattle, Washington, USA, produced and broadcast by NBC affiliate KING-TV from 1984 to 1999. A re-packaged version of the show also aired on Comedy Central from 1992 to 1993, and episodes aired on WGRZ-TV in the late 1990s. The show was...

in the 1990s. Quan was featured in a series of recurring skits called Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan, intended as parodies of the films of martial arts star and former Seattle resident Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee was a Chinese American, Hong Kong actor, martial arts instructor, philosopher, film director, film producer, screenwriter, and founder of the Jeet Kune Do martial arts movement...

.

The general format of the skits, which averaged one to two minutes long, featured Quan being offended by the rude manners of another unnamed character, usually Almost Live!

Almost Live!

Almost Live! was a local sketch comedy television show in Seattle, Washington, USA, produced and broadcast by NBC affiliate KING-TV from 1984 to 1999. A re-packaged version of the show also aired on Comedy Central from 1992 to 1993, and episodes aired on WGRZ-TV in the late 1990s. The show was...

 host John Keister

John Keister

John Keister is a Seattle-based comedian, writer, commentator and motivational speaker, best known as the host of the local comedy program Almost Live! from 1988 to 1999....

. When Quan pointed out the offensive manners, Keister's character would challenge Quan in a highly exaggerated martial arts battle using such things as pool ques, golf clubs, bowling balls and garden tools. The skits would usually end when Quan would launch himself toward Keister in a preposterous two-legged martials arts kick. The camera would show Quan's two legs aiming toward Keister, who often ran away. Quan's legs would stay in the air and follow Keister, sometimes around corners or waiting outside of doors. In the end, Keister was always defeated. The announcer would close with "Remember, kids: be like Billy. Behave yourself!".

Quann was played by Almost Live! cameraman Darrel Suto. The voice and mouth movements of the characters were greatly out of sync, a reference to some of Lee's early martial arts films. Quan's voice-over was done by Almost Live! cast member Pat Cashman

Pat Cashman

Pat Cashman is a comedian and television and radio personality based in the Seattle, Washington, area.On TV, he was a regular cast member of the long-running local comedy show Almost Live! as well as the announcer for Bill Nye the Science Guy...

. Keister's voice was his own.

Later the character was seen on Fox TV's series Haywire

Haywire (TV series)

Haywire is a sketch comedy television series which was aired by Fox Broadcasting Company as part of its 1990-91 lineup. Haywire included segments such as:...

and on the PBS series Bill Nye the Science Guy

Bill Nye the Science Guy

Bill Nye the Science Guy is an educational television program that originally aired from September 10, 1993 to June 20, 1998, hosted by Bill Nye and produced by Buena Vista Television. The show aired on PBS Kids and was also syndicated to local stations, making it the second first-run television...

.

List of Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan episodes

Episode	Plot Summary
Blades of Fury	Keister accidentally destroys Quan's intricate carving and, when challenged, fights Quan with a series of saws and other tools.
Enter the Bowler	Keister interrupts Quan's game of bowling, and, when challenged, fights Quan with bowling balls.
Enter the Doggie	Quan steps in excrement left by Keister's dog, and, when Keister is challenged, he fights Quan with dog bones.
Enter the Gardner	Keister interrupts Quan's quiet time in the garden, and, when challenged, fights Quan with garden tools.
Enter the Juggler	Keister disrupts Quan's enjoyment of a juggling act, and, when challenged, fights Quan with juggling pins.
Enter the Pyramid	Keister tries to get Quan to invest in a pyramid scheme Pyramid scheme A pyramid scheme is a non-sustainable business model that involves promising participants payment or services, primarily for enrolling other people into the scheme, rather than supplying any real investment or sale of products or services to the public... , and, when challenged, fights Quan in a conference room.
Five Disks of Death	Keister unplugs Quan's computer, causing him to lose months of work, and, when challenged, fights Quan with floppy disk Floppy disk A floppy disk is a disk storage medium composed of a disk of thin and flexible magnetic storage medium, sealed in a rectangular plastic carrier lined with fabric that removes dust particles... s.
Fumes of Fury	Keister lights a cigarette in a restaurant, and, when challenged, fights Quan with massive amounts of smoke.
Hoops of Fury	Keister prevents Quan from successfully completing his 100th straight free throw, and, when challenged, uses a basketball to fight Quan.
Library of Death	Keister annoys Quan by laughing loudly in the library and, when challenged, fights Quan with sticks used to hold newspapers.
Office of Death	Keister decides to keep a pen he picked up from an office cubicle, and, when challenged, fights Quan with other pens.
Rackets of Fury	Keister interrupts Quan's tennis game, and, when challenged, fights Quan with tennis rackets and tennis balls.
Tricks of Fury	Keister offends Quan's sister with a cheap squirting flower on his lapel, and, when challenged, fights Quan with rubber chickens and other toys.
Wickets of Fury	Keister wanders through Quan's game of croquet, and, when challenged, fights Quan with croquet wickets and mallets.
Yard Sale of Fury	Keister ruins a record album at Quan's yard sale, and, when challenged, fights Quan by using records as weapons.

External links

• KING-TV Almost Live! website