Biblical courtship
Encyclopedia
Biblical courtship, also known as Christian courtship, is a term used to denote a particular response to secular dating
culture within various American
Christian
communities, c. 1985 to present. Motivated by concern for the need of Christian values in contrast to secular dating practices, conservative Christians identified what they saw as key Biblical principles for courtship and romance, and began to disseminate them in the 1980s.
The movement gained widespread exposure following the best-selling response to I Kissed Dating Goodbye
, a popular contemporary treatment of Christian courtship by homeschool student Joshua Harris
. Keynote speaker and author Dr. S.M. Davis has developed a unique stand on this philosophy, and his materials have been popular with the homeschool culture since the early 1990s. Proponents of the courtship movement say that it is identified by Biblical principles, rather than particular methods or behavioral practices. These principles have been summarized in Leave Dating Behind: a Road Map to Marriage by Christina Rogers within the acronym CARE
A more detailed list of courting ideals include:
Each courtship is unique insofar as the methods used to honor these principles will be unique in every given situation. A variety of courtship literature has been established to give guidance to singles and their families regarding the major Biblical principles. A growing body of testimony provides practical insights and understanding into the methods by which courtship advocates have deployed the universal principles of courtship into unique circumstances, such as when one of the parties has been abused or neglected by their parents or when they are older than typical marrying age.
Proponents assert that contemporary Christian courtship cannot be readily compared to historical norms of courtship practice, such as ancient or modern Hebrew
or Victorian
courtship
practices.
Dating (activity)
Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse...
culture within various American
United States
The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district...
Christian
Christianity
Christianity is a monotheistic religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus as presented in canonical gospels and other New Testament writings...
communities, c. 1985 to present. Motivated by concern for the need of Christian values in contrast to secular dating practices, conservative Christians identified what they saw as key Biblical principles for courtship and romance, and began to disseminate them in the 1980s.
The movement gained widespread exposure following the best-selling response to I Kissed Dating Goodbye
I Kissed Dating Goodbye
I Kissed Dating Goodbye is a best-selling 1997 book by Joshua Harris. The book focuses on Harris' disenchantment with the contemporary secular dating scene, and offers ideas for improvement, alternative dating/courting practices, and a view that singleness need not be a burden nor characterized by...
, a popular contemporary treatment of Christian courtship by homeschool student Joshua Harris
Joshua Harris
Joshua Eugene Harris is an American pastor and author, perhaps most widely known as the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye , in which he explains what he believes to be the biblical approach to dating and relationships.He is currently senior pastor of Covenant Life Church, the founding church of...
. Keynote speaker and author Dr. S.M. Davis has developed a unique stand on this philosophy, and his materials have been popular with the homeschool culture since the early 1990s. Proponents of the courtship movement say that it is identified by Biblical principles, rather than particular methods or behavioral practices. These principles have been summarized in Leave Dating Behind: a Road Map to Marriage by Christina Rogers within the acronym CARE
- Commitment to marriage
- Accountability
- Rejection of the secular dating philosophy
- Establishing physical boundaries
A more detailed list of courting ideals include:
- The guardianship responsibility of fathers over singleSingle (relationship)In legal definitions for interpersonal status, a single person is someone who is not in a relationship or is "unmarried". If a marriage is annulled, however, or it is found to have been void ab initio , and assuming the person was not married previously, that individual is single, rather than...
daughters. - The responsibility of parents to prepare their children for marriage in all respects, and for youths to be prepared in terms of talents, education, vocation and finances prior to seeking a courtship relationship.
- The mentoring role of parents or other suitable "accountability couples" in a given courtship.
- Supervision of courtships to mitigate temptations or abuse, whether of a sexual, emotional or financial nature.
- Emphasis of the importance of marriage as an opportunity for Christian service rather than a selfish endeavor.
- Emphasis of the importance of singleness before marriage as a time for greater Christian service in the community, rather than a time to be employed in selfish pursuits.
- Emphasis of the importance of counsel and evaluation by family and friends as a relationship progresses.
- Emphasis of the importance of honesty and getting to know one another as real people in "normal life" during courtship (as contrasted with the dating habit of meeting during special events and entertainment while on one's best behavior.)
- The maintenance of sexual purity.
Each courtship is unique insofar as the methods used to honor these principles will be unique in every given situation. A variety of courtship literature has been established to give guidance to singles and their families regarding the major Biblical principles. A growing body of testimony provides practical insights and understanding into the methods by which courtship advocates have deployed the universal principles of courtship into unique circumstances, such as when one of the parties has been abused or neglected by their parents or when they are older than typical marrying age.
Proponents assert that contemporary Christian courtship cannot be readily compared to historical norms of courtship practice, such as ancient or modern Hebrew
Hebrews
Hebrews is an ethnonym used in the Hebrew Bible...
or Victorian
Victorian era
The Victorian era of British history was the period of Queen Victoria's reign from 20 June 1837 until her death on 22 January 1901. It was a long period of peace, prosperity, refined sensibilities and national self-confidence...
courtship
Courtship
Courtship is the period in a couple's relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind. In courtship, a couple get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or other such agreement...
practices.
See also
- I Kissed Dating GoodbyeI Kissed Dating GoodbyeI Kissed Dating Goodbye is a best-selling 1997 book by Joshua Harris. The book focuses on Harris' disenchantment with the contemporary secular dating scene, and offers ideas for improvement, alternative dating/courting practices, and a view that singleness need not be a burden nor characterized by...
by Joshua HarrisJoshua HarrisJoshua Eugene Harris is an American pastor and author, perhaps most widely known as the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye , in which he explains what he believes to be the biblical approach to dating and relationships.He is currently senior pastor of Covenant Life Church, the founding church of... - Boy Meets Girl by Joshua HarrisJoshua HarrisJoshua Eugene Harris is an American pastor and author, perhaps most widely known as the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye , in which he explains what he believes to be the biblical approach to dating and relationships.He is currently senior pastor of Covenant Life Church, the founding church of...
- Her Hand in Marriage by Douglas WilsonDouglas Wilson (theologian)Douglas James Wilson is a conservative Reformed and evangelical theologian, pastor at Christ Church in Moscow, Idaho, faculty member at New Saint Andrews College, and prolific author and speaker...
- Choosing God’s Best by Dr. Don Raunikar
- Leave Dating Behind: a road map to marriage by Christina Rogers
External links
- Dr. SM Davis and Solve Family Problems
- Leave Dating Behind: a Road Map to Marriage by Christina Rogers
- I Kissed Dating Books Goodbye by Camerin Courtney in Christianity Today magazine
- God is a Matchmaker by Derek PrinceDerek PrincePeter Derek Vaughan Prince was an international Bible teacher whose daily radio programme Derek Prince Legacy Radio broadcasts to half the population of the world in various languages...
. - I Kissed Dating Goodbye: Wisdom or Foolishness
- Before The Kiss Testimonies of couples who have participated in some form of courtship model.
- Calvary Courtship Connection Courtship classes offering biblical instruction in relationships and how they pertain to modern courtship.