Unsourced

• Are you in real estate? Can you tell me is this a "lot"?

• I was circumsized by a bandsaw.

• I'm as hard as final Jeopardy.

• I'd show it to ya, but it's caught in my shoe.

• Come on and tell Pinocchio a lie.

• I'll love you so good, your neighbor will have a smoke.

• I did a girl so good, the police came three times.

• We'll have safe sex. Go get me a hefty bag.