Those Dumb Punk Kids (Will Buy Anything)
Encyclopedia
"Those Dumb Punk Kids (Will Buy Anything)" is a song by Jello Biafra
Jello Biafra
Jello Biafra is an American musician, spoken word artist and leading figure of the Green Party of the United States. Biafra first gained attention as the lead singer and songwriter for San Francisco punk rock band Dead Kennedys...

 and The Melvins
The Melvins
The Melvins are an American band that formed in 1983. They usually perform as a trio, but in recent years have performed as a four piece with two drummers. Since 1984, singer and guitarist Buzz Osborne and drummer Dale Crover have been the band's constant members...

. It appears on their second album Sieg Howdy and was composed by Biafra and Melvins guitarist Buzz Osborne
Buzz Osborne
Roger "Buzz" Osborne , also known as King Buzzo, is the guitarist/vocalist/songwriter and technically the only remaining founding member of the Melvins...

.

The main target of the song is Biafra's former band Dead Kennedys
Dead Kennedys
Dead Kennedys are an American punk rock band formed in San Francisco, California in 1978. The band became part of the American hardcore punk movement of the early 1980s. They gained a large underground fanbase in the international punk music scene....

, who sued Biafra in 1998 in order to gain control of the band's master tapes. (See the entries for both Mr. Biafra and Dead Kennedys for details on the case.) The song title derives from a quote by Dead Kennedys guitarist East Bay Ray
East Bay Ray
Raymond John Pepperell , better known by his stage name East Bay Ray is a guitarist best-known for his membership in the San Francisco Bay area-based punk band Dead Kennedys...

 that Biafra has been recalling in recent spoken word performances: "(He) always used to say that our own fans were so dumb that they'd buy anything, and that 'nobody believes that political shit anymore'." http://www.120seconds.com/index.cfm?movie=779

In the lyrics, Biafra blasts his former bandmates for being greedy, for tainting what the band stood for by doing a reunion tour "for all the wrong reasons", only "playing hits from the good old days/About how bad the good old days were" (a lyric borrowed from Biafra's 1993 song "Buy My Snake Oil"), performing live without any rehearsal, and having "a former child star" (referring to Brandon Cruz
Brandon Cruz
Brandon Edwin Cruz is an American former child actor and currently a punk rock musician, and also works in drug and alcohol rehabilitation. In the late 1960s, the freckled-faced Cruz came to prominence by playing Tom Corbett's charming and conniving son, Eddie Corbett, in the comedy-drama The...

) "who doesn't even know the words" taking Biafra's place.

Semi-facetiously, Biafra claims that this "new" Dead Kennedys lineup could start a precedent where other former child stars take the place of original lead vocalists in classic punk bands, hypothesizing that Frankie Muniz
Frankie Muniz
Francisco "Frankie" Muniz IV is an American actor, musician, writer, producer, and racecar driver. He is known primarily as the star of the FOX television family sitcom Malcolm in the Middle. In 2003, he was considered "one of Hollywood's most bankable teens". In 2008, he put his acting career...

 would front The Misfits, Black Flag
Black Flag (band)
Black Flag was an American punk rock band formed in 1976 in Hermosa Beach, California. The band was established by Greg Ginn, the guitarist, primary songwriter and sole continuous member through multiple personnel changes in the band...

's new frontman would be Gary Coleman
Gary Coleman
Gary Wayne Coleman was an American actor, known for his childhood role as Arnold Jackson in the American sitcom Diff'rent Strokes and for his small stature as an adult. He was described in the 1980s as "one of television's most promising stars". After a successful childhood acting career, Coleman...

, and that The Germs
The Germs
The Germs are an American punk rock band from Los Angeles, California, originally active from 1977 to 1980. The band's early lineup consisted of singer Darby Crash, guitarist Pat Smear, bassist Lorna Doom, and their most consistent drummer Don Bolles. Germs have since reformed in 2005 with Shane...

 would return with Emmanuel Lewis
Emmanuel Lewis
Emmanuel Lewis is an American actor, best known for playing the title character in the 1980s television sitcom Webster. He is tall. Lewis graduated from Midwood High School in 1989 and then Clark Atlanta University in 1997...

 substituting for Darby Crash
Darby Crash
Darby Crash was an American punk musician who, along with long time friend Pat Smear , co-founded The Germs...

 (The Germs recently reunited with actor Shane West
Shane West
Shane West is an American actor, musician and songwriter. West is best known for portraying Eli Sammler in Once and Again, Landon Carter with Mandy Moore in A Walk to Remember, Darby Crash in What We Do Is Secret, and Dr...

, who portrays Crash in What We Do Is Secret
What We Do Is Secret (film)
What We Do Is Secret is a 2008 American biographical film about Darby Crash, singer of the late-1970s Los Angeles punk rock band the Germs. Rodger Grossman directed the film and wrote the screenplay, based on a story he had written with Michelle Baer Ghaffari, a friend of Crash's and co-producer of...

, as lead singer). Biafra also fears that, using the same precedent, Courtney Love
Courtney Love
Courtney Michelle Love is an American rock musician. Love is the lead vocalist, lyricist, and rhythm guitarist for alternative rock band Hole, which she formed in 1989, and is an actress who has moved from bit parts in Alex Cox films to significant and acclaimed roles in The People vs...

 would lead her late husband Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain
Kurt Donald Cobain was an American singer-songwriter, musician and artist, best known as the lead singer and guitarist of the grunge band Nirvana...

's band Nirvana
Nirvana (band)
Nirvana was an American rock band that was formed by singer/guitarist Kurt Cobain and bassist Krist Novoselic in Aberdeen, Washington in 1987...

 "at last".

The song concludes by referring to the Sex Pistols
Sex Pistols
The Sex Pistols were an English punk rock band that formed in London in 1975. They were responsible for initiating the punk movement in the United Kingdom and inspiring many later punk and alternative rock musicians...

' infamous collaboration with Great Train Robber Ronnie Biggs
Ronnie Biggs
Ronald Arthur "Ronnie" Biggs is an English criminal, known for his role in the Great Train Robbery of 1963, for his escape from prison in 1965, for living as a fugitive for 36 years and for his various publicity stunts while in exile. In 2001, he voluntarily returned to the United Kingdom and...

, suggesting that with that precedent in mind, Enron's Ken Lay could be the next lead singer of Dead Kennedys (although on the record, Biafra substitutes Martha Stewart
Martha Stewart
Martha Stewart is an American business magnate, author, magazine publisher, and television personality. As founder of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, she has gained success through a variety of business ventures, encompassing publishing, broadcasting, and merchandising...

's name instead, even though Stewart had not embezzled from her own company as Lay did with Enron
Enron
Enron Corporation was an American energy, commodities, and services company based in Houston, Texas. Before its bankruptcy on December 2, 2001, Enron employed approximately 22,000 staff and was one of the world's leading electricity, natural gas, communications, and pulp and paper companies, with...

.)

The song was recorded during the sessions for Never Breathe What You Can't See
Never Breathe What You Can't See
Never Breathe What You Can't See is an album by Jello Biafra and The Melvins. It was released in 2004 through Alternative Tentacles...

, but could not be released until after the Biafra vs. Dead Kennedys trial had been concluded.
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