Do you think this is fake? [points gun at jane]

I'm going to find it and I'm going to destroy it. I don't know how yet, maybe dynamite.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to join me is more than welcome.

Nobody knows what's going to happen. And then we film it. That's the whole concept.

You really think it's cool for you to hit the sauce with a bun in the oven?

[to Ogata and Pele] What are you doing? Go to bed, you sons of bitches!

Son of a bitch, I'm sick of these dolphins.

Supposedly Cousteau and his cronies invented the idea of putting walkie-talkies into the helmet. But we made ours with a special rabbit ear on the top so we could pipe in some music.

You know, I'd be jealous about you staying at Allie's place, except I always thought he was kind of a closet queer.

That pregnant slut is playing us like a cheap fiddle!