Surrendered wife
Encyclopedia
The Surrendered Wives movement is inspired by a book, The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle. Its supporters suggest that women should relinquish what Doyle deems to be inappropriate control of their husbands and focus on their own happiness in order to bring romance
back to their relationship.
The "Surrendered Wives" movement is centered around six basic principles:
Continuing in an abusive, alcoholic, or adulterous relationship is not promoted or condoned.
Having female support is cited by Laura Doyle as a critical component for success for the woman who chooses to surrender. To this end there are a number of trained Coaches around the globe who assist women to implement the principles into their lives and marriages. Face to Face group seminars, phone coaching, on-line chat circles and an on-line seminar are available.
Sex Discrimination Commissioner Pru Goward
compared the movement to slavery
saying "There is no such thing as an adult who can entirely subvert themselves to another person. That's called slavery and I think we abolished that several hundred years ago." She also claimed that "If a man wants that sort of relationship, he actually doesn't want a relationship, he wants a doll. He wants a puppet, he wants total control and that's not the definition of a relationship."
Doyle responds that many critics appear to have little knowledge of the principles described in the book and simply react to what they imagine the book says.
Doyle says that the basic principles of a Surrendered Single are that she:
Romantic love
Romance is the pleasurable feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.In the context of romantic love relationships, romance usually implies an expression of one's love, or one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person....
back to their relationship.
Philosophy
The author of the core book of this movement maintains that she does not advocate submissiveness or the surrendering of one's self; she proposes the surrendering of control over others.The "Surrendered Wives" movement is centered around six basic principles:
- a wife relinquishes control of her husband's life
- she respects his decisions for his life
- she practices good self-care (she does at least three things a day for her own enjoyment)
- she also practices receiving compliments and gifts graciously
- she practices expressing gratitude (thanking her husband for the things he does)
- a surrendered wife is not afraid to show her vulnerability and take the feminine approach
Continuing in an abusive, alcoholic, or adulterous relationship is not promoted or condoned.
Having female support is cited by Laura Doyle as a critical component for success for the woman who chooses to surrender. To this end there are a number of trained Coaches around the globe who assist women to implement the principles into their lives and marriages. Face to Face group seminars, phone coaching, on-line chat circles and an on-line seminar are available.
Criticism
Her critics see Doyle as advocating that women should be submissive to their husbands. Former Australian Human Rights and Equal Opportunity CommissionHuman Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission
The Australian Human Rights Commission is a national human rights institution, a statutory body funded by, but operating independently of, the Australian Government. It has the responsibility for investigating alleged infringements under Australia’s anti-discrimination legislation...
Sex Discrimination Commissioner Pru Goward
Pru Goward
Prudence Jane Goward MP , an Australian politician, is the Minister for Community Services and Women in the O'Farrell Liberal-National Coalition Government since 2011. Goward is a member of the New South Wales Legislative Assembly representing Goulburn for the Liberal Party of Australia since 2007...
compared the movement to slavery
Slavery
Slavery is a system under which people are treated as property to be bought and sold, and are forced to work. Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation...
saying "There is no such thing as an adult who can entirely subvert themselves to another person. That's called slavery and I think we abolished that several hundred years ago." She also claimed that "If a man wants that sort of relationship, he actually doesn't want a relationship, he wants a doll. He wants a puppet, he wants total control and that's not the definition of a relationship."
Doyle responds that many critics appear to have little knowledge of the principles described in the book and simply react to what they imagine the book says.
Sequel
The Surrendered Single is a book to help single women attract a good man according to the principles of Surrendering. Doyle advocates the surrender of inappropriate control of another. A surrendered single is a woman who chooses to apply the principles of surrendering to her life so as to serenely attract a good man rather than desperately seek a mate.Doyle says that the basic principles of a Surrendered Single are that she:
- Acknowledges her desire to attract and marry a man who's right for her;
- Lets go of the idea of a perfect man;
- Receives compliments, gifts, help, and dates graciously whenever possible;
- Takes responsibility for and focuses on her own happiness and fulfillment;
- Relinquishes control of the pace of the courtship;
- Strives to be vulnerable;
- Honors her desire to be married by ending dead-end relationships;
- Checks for safety before she risks herself physically or emotionally.