In the Land of the Lawn Weenies
Encyclopedia
In the Land of the Lawn Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales is a children's book written by David Lubar
. It is a collection of short stories that end in unusual ways. It is the first of the Weenies books and was published in 2003.
The Touch - A girl loses everything she touches.
At the Wrist - A boy loses his father's hand and it comes back to get him.
Crizzles - A boy gets into a fight with his parents because they wanted him to eat real food then he got mad and stormed off. He went to a friend named Danny's house and Danny's Grandfather tells the boy a story about creatures named Crizzles who eat humans. It is later revealed that both Danny and his Grandpa are Crizzles who were both trying to eat the boy.
Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board - It's Summer Vacation and all the kids in the neighborhood are playing the game Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board. On the last day of Summer Vacation a girl named Sharon was playing with her friend Julie and she asked her if she wanted to go play, but Julie said no because a girl named Kate was bossy and rude. They went to play in the circle and a boy name Todd was picked to be the person lifted up. Kate was being bossy rude telling people who could and couldn't play. Then, a boy named Billy made Kate mad and Sharon and Julie started laughing so Kate kicked all three of them out of the circle and then Todd was lifted up, but he kept going higher and higher and the others weren't able to get him down. Sharon says that to get him down they must say the phrases backwards. Kate didn't do so and the rest of the kids in the circle were all lifted into the air.
The Evil Tree - A boy named Patrick notices a tree has a door on its side. This same tree had never had a door on it before. A man was standing near the tree and the man tells Patrick that this tree is where all evil in the world is stored. The man is revealed to be a guardian that is supposed to protect the world's evil. Patrick opens the door only to find it empty. Angry, Patrick starts saying that the man is a liar and that the tree holds no evil as the door to the tree shuts and locks him inside. The man says "Now it does."
Kidzilla - A kid transforms into a Lizard.
Everyone's a Winner - A boy named Derek plays a carnival game. The game is Skeeball and the Barker says that "Everyone's a Winner". Derek notices that the scores are easy to beat-200 points scores a small prize, 300 points scores a medium prize, and 420 points scores a large prize. Derek feels he can score 250 points easily. He takes out a quarter and starts playing, he gets off to a bad start with a poor score of 40 points. A bit later Derek is at 280 then, Derek ends up with 290 and wins a small prize-a bracelet. Another kid wants to play and inserts a quarter and the Barker flips the sign making a new scored point system-150 for a small prize, 200 for a medium-Derek gets angry as the kid scores 200 points and ends up with a stuffed animal and another and another and pretty soon he has a whole pile of stuffed animals, but just keeps playing. He wins another medium prize...and a free play. Derek gets sick of it and sees a booth that has a sign reading "MAN-EATING MONSTER". He goes up and the monster, known as "Bobo", wants to be fed. Derek backs away, but falls and can't get up. Then, Bobo goes after the other kid. The kid runs and Bobo swipes at the stuffed animals and not the kid and everyone ends up fine.
A Little Off the Top - Ryan is at the barbershop to get a haircut, but the person there is not the usual barber. Ryan notices that the cloth draped over him has a stain that is dark red, almost brown. Ryan wonders if it is blood. It turns out the barber's name is Vince and is the normal barber's friend. Everything turns out fine, except now Ryan has to go to the Dentist.
The Slide - A girl named Kay is babysitting a boy named Tommy Walton and they are at the playground. There is a slide near them and two kids go down. There were no more kids at the top, but when Kay looked away another kid came out and two after that with nobody at the top. As more kids come out, Kay notices that all the kids are dressed the same and that there are no girls. More kids just keep coming out of the slide. It's almost as if they're like insects. A bit before, Kay noticed a hole in the middle of the slide. As no kids are at the top, more keep coming out and it's as if the slide is where all these kids keep coming from. All of these kids had arms that were too long and heads that were too small. Kids swarm her and carry her to the slide and push her down. She falls into the hole and lands on a soft, moist floor. Then, she starts to sink in it and realizes that there is a giant insect under the playground that produces insect children. It swallows her and uses her to make more insect children.
Big Kids - Stu is afraid of big kids and Danny doesn't know why. Danny wants to go to the caves, but Stu says there might be big kids there. Stu has no choice but to tag along, though. Then, big kids gather around Stu and push him like they're playing Hot Potato with a human. Then, some big kids who said they hate bullies come to Stu's rescue and Stu realizes that big kids aren't bad, bullies are.
Your Worst Nightmare - A bully and his friend find out what it's like when nightmares come to life.
Phone Ahead - A kid finds a phone in a dumpster and is surprised to hear voices on the other end, talking about things that have not happened-yet.
Sand Sharks - A girl attempts to play a trick on her immature brother, unaware of the truth in her words.
On the Road - Don't those boring car trips just seem to last forever?
The Language of Beasts - Diana prefers animals over people, and soon finds out that animals feel the same way.
Class Trip - A substitute teacher gets more than he bargained for when he does not listen to a student in the class.
Collared - Two kids find out that the legend of the spooky abandoned house at the top of the hill is true.
The Substitute - A girl, tired of being mocked by her class, flees during a science demonstration by a substitute teacher.
The Vampire's Bat - A boy takes in a blood-drained rat, not thinking of the danger he is putting himself in.
Slugs - Some children find out that the old lady they were afraid of is actually very nice-and that they'll need a new catcher for their baseball games.
Snakeland - A boy experiences the newest exhibit at a roadside tourist trap close up.
Burger and Fries - A boy's family owns a burger joint and business is going great, until a new burger joint named " Monster Burgers " opens up across the street, selling burgers the same size as the burgers at the boy's burger joint, only cheaper. How does " Monster Burgers " get so many customers, have cheap prices, and quality food? The boy decides to investigate, and finds out why in the most gruesome way.
Game Over - Four friends find out that the newest video game system is a little too realistic.
Smunkies - A kid is very surprised to learn that his brother did not get ripped off when he ordered sea monkeys from a magazine.
Pretty Polly - Maybe Dad's new parrot isn't as pretty a bird as he seemed at first.
Join the Party - A shy boy gets the courage to join a party where many of the kids look familiar, but he cannot quite figure out why.
The Billion Legger - A boy misses killing a centipede the first time he sees it and soon regrets it.
The Battle-Ax - Two friends find an ancient battle-ax that still contains the fury of those who once used it.
In the Land of the Lawn Weenies - Why does everyone mow their lawn at the same time? It's like they're all robots programmed to do the same thing over and over in unison. Two friends go out to see what the deal is.
Sunburn - A girl finds out the danger of prolonged sun exposure first-hand.
Thin Silk - A boy attempting to escape his boring vacation cabin ends up stuck there.
The Witch's Monkey - A monkey-obsessed girl attempts to free a gibbon from the spooky old lady who lives in her neighborhood.
As You Say - A group of friends learn to watch what they say.
Hide - There's more to Barry's seemingly unwarranted fear of cows than Robert realizes.
The Curse of the Campfire Weenies
The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies
David Lubar
David Lubar is an author of numerous books for teens. He is also an electronic game programmer, who programmedSuper Breakout for the Nintendo Game Boy, and Frogger for both the SNES and Game Boy. As a game designer, he designed the game Frogger 2: Swampy's Revenge for the Nintendo Game Boy Color...
. It is a collection of short stories that end in unusual ways. It is the first of the Weenies books and was published in 2003.
Stories
Fairy In a Jar - A boy goes out to catch fireflies, but instead catches a Fairy.The Touch - A girl loses everything she touches.
At the Wrist - A boy loses his father's hand and it comes back to get him.
Crizzles - A boy gets into a fight with his parents because they wanted him to eat real food then he got mad and stormed off. He went to a friend named Danny's house and Danny's Grandfather tells the boy a story about creatures named Crizzles who eat humans. It is later revealed that both Danny and his Grandpa are Crizzles who were both trying to eat the boy.
Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board - It's Summer Vacation and all the kids in the neighborhood are playing the game Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board. On the last day of Summer Vacation a girl named Sharon was playing with her friend Julie and she asked her if she wanted to go play, but Julie said no because a girl named Kate was bossy and rude. They went to play in the circle and a boy name Todd was picked to be the person lifted up. Kate was being bossy rude telling people who could and couldn't play. Then, a boy named Billy made Kate mad and Sharon and Julie started laughing so Kate kicked all three of them out of the circle and then Todd was lifted up, but he kept going higher and higher and the others weren't able to get him down. Sharon says that to get him down they must say the phrases backwards. Kate didn't do so and the rest of the kids in the circle were all lifted into the air.
The Evil Tree - A boy named Patrick notices a tree has a door on its side. This same tree had never had a door on it before. A man was standing near the tree and the man tells Patrick that this tree is where all evil in the world is stored. The man is revealed to be a guardian that is supposed to protect the world's evil. Patrick opens the door only to find it empty. Angry, Patrick starts saying that the man is a liar and that the tree holds no evil as the door to the tree shuts and locks him inside. The man says "Now it does."
Kidzilla - A kid transforms into a Lizard.
Everyone's a Winner - A boy named Derek plays a carnival game. The game is Skeeball and the Barker says that "Everyone's a Winner". Derek notices that the scores are easy to beat-200 points scores a small prize, 300 points scores a medium prize, and 420 points scores a large prize. Derek feels he can score 250 points easily. He takes out a quarter and starts playing, he gets off to a bad start with a poor score of 40 points. A bit later Derek is at 280 then, Derek ends up with 290 and wins a small prize-a bracelet. Another kid wants to play and inserts a quarter and the Barker flips the sign making a new scored point system-150 for a small prize, 200 for a medium-Derek gets angry as the kid scores 200 points and ends up with a stuffed animal and another and another and pretty soon he has a whole pile of stuffed animals, but just keeps playing. He wins another medium prize...and a free play. Derek gets sick of it and sees a booth that has a sign reading "MAN-EATING MONSTER". He goes up and the monster, known as "Bobo", wants to be fed. Derek backs away, but falls and can't get up. Then, Bobo goes after the other kid. The kid runs and Bobo swipes at the stuffed animals and not the kid and everyone ends up fine.
A Little Off the Top - Ryan is at the barbershop to get a haircut, but the person there is not the usual barber. Ryan notices that the cloth draped over him has a stain that is dark red, almost brown. Ryan wonders if it is blood. It turns out the barber's name is Vince and is the normal barber's friend. Everything turns out fine, except now Ryan has to go to the Dentist.
The Slide - A girl named Kay is babysitting a boy named Tommy Walton and they are at the playground. There is a slide near them and two kids go down. There were no more kids at the top, but when Kay looked away another kid came out and two after that with nobody at the top. As more kids come out, Kay notices that all the kids are dressed the same and that there are no girls. More kids just keep coming out of the slide. It's almost as if they're like insects. A bit before, Kay noticed a hole in the middle of the slide. As no kids are at the top, more keep coming out and it's as if the slide is where all these kids keep coming from. All of these kids had arms that were too long and heads that were too small. Kids swarm her and carry her to the slide and push her down. She falls into the hole and lands on a soft, moist floor. Then, she starts to sink in it and realizes that there is a giant insect under the playground that produces insect children. It swallows her and uses her to make more insect children.
Big Kids - Stu is afraid of big kids and Danny doesn't know why. Danny wants to go to the caves, but Stu says there might be big kids there. Stu has no choice but to tag along, though. Then, big kids gather around Stu and push him like they're playing Hot Potato with a human. Then, some big kids who said they hate bullies come to Stu's rescue and Stu realizes that big kids aren't bad, bullies are.
Your Worst Nightmare - A bully and his friend find out what it's like when nightmares come to life.
Phone Ahead - A kid finds a phone in a dumpster and is surprised to hear voices on the other end, talking about things that have not happened-yet.
Sand Sharks - A girl attempts to play a trick on her immature brother, unaware of the truth in her words.
On the Road - Don't those boring car trips just seem to last forever?
The Language of Beasts - Diana prefers animals over people, and soon finds out that animals feel the same way.
Class Trip - A substitute teacher gets more than he bargained for when he does not listen to a student in the class.
Collared - Two kids find out that the legend of the spooky abandoned house at the top of the hill is true.
The Substitute - A girl, tired of being mocked by her class, flees during a science demonstration by a substitute teacher.
The Vampire's Bat - A boy takes in a blood-drained rat, not thinking of the danger he is putting himself in.
Slugs - Some children find out that the old lady they were afraid of is actually very nice-and that they'll need a new catcher for their baseball games.
Snakeland - A boy experiences the newest exhibit at a roadside tourist trap close up.
Burger and Fries - A boy's family owns a burger joint and business is going great, until a new burger joint named " Monster Burgers " opens up across the street, selling burgers the same size as the burgers at the boy's burger joint, only cheaper. How does " Monster Burgers " get so many customers, have cheap prices, and quality food? The boy decides to investigate, and finds out why in the most gruesome way.
Game Over - Four friends find out that the newest video game system is a little too realistic.
Smunkies - A kid is very surprised to learn that his brother did not get ripped off when he ordered sea monkeys from a magazine.
Pretty Polly - Maybe Dad's new parrot isn't as pretty a bird as he seemed at first.
Join the Party - A shy boy gets the courage to join a party where many of the kids look familiar, but he cannot quite figure out why.
The Billion Legger - A boy misses killing a centipede the first time he sees it and soon regrets it.
The Battle-Ax - Two friends find an ancient battle-ax that still contains the fury of those who once used it.
In the Land of the Lawn Weenies - Why does everyone mow their lawn at the same time? It's like they're all robots programmed to do the same thing over and over in unison. Two friends go out to see what the deal is.
Sunburn - A girl finds out the danger of prolonged sun exposure first-hand.
Thin Silk - A boy attempting to escape his boring vacation cabin ends up stuck there.
The Witch's Monkey - A monkey-obsessed girl attempts to free a gibbon from the spooky old lady who lives in her neighborhood.
As You Say - A group of friends learn to watch what they say.
Hide - There's more to Barry's seemingly unwarranted fear of cows than Robert realizes.
See also
Invasion of the Road WeeniesInvasion of the Road Weenies
Invasion of the Road Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales is a children's book written by David Lubar, containing a collection of short stories all ending with creepy, strange, or unhappy endings. "The Invasion of the Road Weenies" story is about a kid who tries to figure out why the joggers...
The Curse of the Campfire Weenies
The Curse of the Campfire Weenies
The Curse of the Campfire Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales is the third Weenies children's short story book written by David Lubar. It was preceded by Invasion of the Road Weenies and is followed by The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies. It was published in 2007.-Stories:Mr...
The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies
The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies
The Battle of the Red hot Pepper Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales is the latest book by David Lubar and is the fourth in the Weenies collection. It was preceded by The Curse of the Campfire Weenies. It was published in June 2009.-Stories:...