Gatekeeper parent
Encyclopedia
A gatekeeper parent, typically a mother, is one who takes to arrogating themselves the power to decide what relationship is acceptable between the other parent and the child(ren), either within a marriage, or outside any formal agreement between the two parents was in place after a divorce settlement. It can also be referred to as "Maternal Gatekeeping".
Most maternal gatekeeping situations are studied with consenting married couples
who are first time parents. Parenting situation studies using divorced couples and out-of-wedlock parenting relationships that show very similar or identical behavioral characteristics as married couples with children are usually studied under the topics: Parental Interference and Parental Alienation
.
A Gatekeeper parent exhibits themselves under the following categories:
Inside a marriage, the characteristics and symptoms may already be apparent with one parent being relegated to second tier status and disenfranchised in regards to their parenting skills or their ability to practice and nurture their own set of skills, this typically being the father. This lends itself to the dominant parent taking complete control of the household and it causes severe resentment and sense of helplessness in the other's parenting relationship. In a post divorce situation, the symptoms may be considered: limiting of contact, visitation interference, verbal and psychological abuse
, alienating the children from the other parent through derogatory remarks and actions.
It is yet to be determined or even studied as to whether or not Maternal Gatekeeping is a different syndrome from Parental Interference and Parental Alienation or if the two are just a more severe form of gatekeeping only exaserbated by a high conflict breakdown of the relationship between the two parents. High conflict circumstances already visible in the marriage can lead to false accusations of incompetence, neglect, or abuse of the children by one parent against the other once the relationship is being adjudicated in a divorce preceding. No current studies have been published to link the three syndromes and the American Psychological Association
has not ruled or identified any of the 3 as recognized syndromes in any of its publications. The APA has no stance on the 3 theories and therefore they cannot be considered as dispproved nor validated. Independent individual studies of all three are still in progress with findings to be published later.
Most maternal gatekeeping situations are studied with consenting married couples
Marriage
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found...
who are first time parents. Parenting situation studies using divorced couples and out-of-wedlock parenting relationships that show very similar or identical behavioral characteristics as married couples with children are usually studied under the topics: Parental Interference and Parental Alienation
Parental alienation
Parental alienation is a social dynamic, generally occurring due to divorce or separation, when a child expresses unjustified hatred or unreasonably strong dislike of one parent, making access by the rejected parent difficult or impossible...
.
A Gatekeeper parent exhibits themselves under the following categories:
- Criticizes the way other parent/spouse/ex-spouse accomplished the task
- Creates unbending or unrealistic standards for other parent/spouse/ex-spouse to meet
- Demeans or undermines other parent's efforts at being an authority figureAuthorityThe word Authority is derived mainly from the Latin word auctoritas, meaning invention, advice, opinion, influence, or command. In English, the word 'authority' can be used to mean power given by the state or by academic knowledge of an area .-Authority in Philosophy:In...
in the child(ren's) lives
- Oversees the chores that the other parent/spouse works on
- Does all the organizing, delegating, planning, and scheduling in the home
- Becomes reluctant to let go of some of the responsibility for caring for your family
- Needs a great deal of validation of their identity as a parent, both from the other parent/spouse/ex-spouse and from outside the marriage or parenting relationship
- Believes in the traditional roles assigned to husbands and wives
- Views the other parent/spouse/ex-spouse as a helper and not an equal when it comes to household chores and child-careChildcareChild care means caring for and supervising child/children usually from 0–13 years of age. In the United States child care is increasingly referred to as early childhood education due to the understanding of the impact of early experiences of the developing child...
responsibilities
- Asks the other parent/spouse/ex-spouse for help and then gives explicit directions on how to accomplish a task
- Secretly feels thrilled when the other parent/spouse/ex-spouse shows some incompetence around the house or the kids
- Feel threatened or at a loss if the child(ren) gets hurt and runs to the other parent for comfort
Inside a marriage, the characteristics and symptoms may already be apparent with one parent being relegated to second tier status and disenfranchised in regards to their parenting skills or their ability to practice and nurture their own set of skills, this typically being the father. This lends itself to the dominant parent taking complete control of the household and it causes severe resentment and sense of helplessness in the other's parenting relationship. In a post divorce situation, the symptoms may be considered: limiting of contact, visitation interference, verbal and psychological abuse
Psychological abuse
Psychological abuse, also referred to as emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder...
, alienating the children from the other parent through derogatory remarks and actions.
It is yet to be determined or even studied as to whether or not Maternal Gatekeeping is a different syndrome from Parental Interference and Parental Alienation or if the two are just a more severe form of gatekeeping only exaserbated by a high conflict breakdown of the relationship between the two parents. High conflict circumstances already visible in the marriage can lead to false accusations of incompetence, neglect, or abuse of the children by one parent against the other once the relationship is being adjudicated in a divorce preceding. No current studies have been published to link the three syndromes and the American Psychological Association
American Psychological Association
The American Psychological Association is the largest scientific and professional organization of psychologists in the United States. It is the world's largest association of psychologists with around 154,000 members including scientists, educators, clinicians, consultants and students. The APA...
has not ruled or identified any of the 3 as recognized syndromes in any of its publications. The APA has no stance on the 3 theories and therefore they cannot be considered as dispproved nor validated. Independent individual studies of all three are still in progress with findings to be published later.