Chi-Chi Rodriguez

• The seats are like butter!
• We were so poor my parents married for the rice.
• I'm a princess! P to the R to the N to the cess!
• Cause you're as big as a float.
  • When Noxema asks 'Why do I feel like I'm in the Tournament of Roses Parade?'
• I didn’t ask to come on this trip, did I? No, I don’t think so! Did I ask for you to be making me over, jump through all kinds of hoops like some kind of circus poodle? No, I don’t think so! And do I want to go to jail because of some cop killer? No, I don’t think so! So as soon as we get to the next town, I’m jumping on the first man and I’m riding him all the way to New York City and away from you two puckered up stuck up putas because this trip sucks! It sucks!
• Vida, you know, you're not a queen because you rule people, or you sit on a throne, baby. You're a queen because you couldn't cut it as a man so you had to put on a dress, that's why.
• I decly ! ( I declare! )
• I love rough necks, tell me if I was your bread would you be my butter.
• Uptight cellulite dinosaur fossil face white honky cracker witch!
• lord grant me the serenity to accept that im am im just a boy in a dress and the courage to change with the fashions and the wisdom to know the difference
• I'm the latina Marilyn Monroe. I've got more legs than a bucket of chicken!

Noxeema Jackson

• Little latin boy in drag, why are you crying?
• ...like the Miami Sound Machine just exploded all over you.
  • when asked 'How do I look?' by Chi-Chi.
• I ain't drivin' you no more, Miss Daisy!
• Why do I feel like I'm in the Tournament of Roses Parade?
• Your mother.
• Look, that child is latin. You don't want to gettin mixed up in all that latin mess. She might turn out to be a sandinista or something.
• I do not do the bus. You obviously have me mistaken for Miss Rosa Parks.
• Look at her, runnin' like she runnin' across the border.
• Oh no girlfriend, did you just do a U-ie?
• When a straight man puts on a dress and gets his sexual kicks, he is a transvestite. When a man is a woman trapped in a man's body and has a little operation, he is a Transsexual. When a gay man has WAY too much fashion sense for one gender he is a drag queen. And when a tired little Latin boy puts on a dress, he is simply a boy in a dress!
• Check yourself Loretta, before you wreck yourself!
• If you want to let them know that there is steak for dinner, you got to let them hear it sizzle!

Vida Boheme

• Internal combustion, the ultimate accessory.
• What in gay hell?
• We are three young career girls...
• Now shes going to get herself kidnapped by some mountain man and we will have to go rescue her!
• Operation Decorator Storm...
• That's possibly-dead Sheriff Dullard!
• (In normal male voice) Get your hand off my DICK, buddy!
• I want you to believe in yourself, imagine good things, and moisturize.
• Oh look, it's a little latin boy in drag, the little latin boy in drag is crying! Noxy, ask the little latin boy in drag why he is crying.

Credits

Patrick Swayze - Vida Boheme

Wesley Snipes - Noxeema Jackson

John Leguizamo - Chi-Chi Rodriguez

Stockard Channing - Carol Ann

Blythe Danner - Beatrice

RuPaul - Rachel Tensions