The Pink Panther (2006 film) Quotations

The Pink Panther is a film about the bumbling Inspector Clouseau, an entirely lost Inspector who is ridiculously moronic and practically accomplishes nothing throughout most of the movie, until around the ending areas. The cast includes Steve Martin, Kevin Kline, Jean Reno, Emily Mortimer, and Beyoncé Knowles.

Inspector Clouseau

(tries to open car door) Idiot! Pull up!
I'm going to do the good cop-bad cop routine.
It is a lovely wea'zer we are 'aving. If ze' wea'zer stays 'zis mild, we are bound to have a love-a-ly Summer. [Attacks the curtains as if someone is hiding there, the curtains fall] Ze' area is secure.
Good one!
Stop browbeating her! Can't you see she is sexy?!
Right now the killer is being surrounded by a web of deduction, forensic science and the latest in technology such as two-way radios and e-mail.
A woman is like a... artichoke; you have to do a bit of work, before you get to her heart.
[When Nicole asks if he should get some rest] Crime does not rest, Nicole.
[When asked if he thinks the killer is watching, while at a press conference] If I was the killer, I would certainly be watching me, and perhaps also recording for future playbacks. Because, you know, it is a big deal to be talked about on TV.
[Ending the press conference] Killer, I will find you, because I am a servant of the nation and justice is justice and Fwance is Fwance
To dunlod (download) your new cell phone ringtone, press the button that says dunlod. I take the moose (mouse) and click, but do not dwag(drag), the button that says dunlod (the downloading fails and there is a power cut)
[To Ponton repeated line] Good teamwork
[Talking to Ponton] Without warning, I will attack you whenever and wherever it is least expected.
[Learning English accent] I wood lake toi beh a demburger [I would like to buy a hamburger].
[At the airport] (What do you have in you pockets, sir? asks the airport security) In my pockets, I have a couple of amburtsferts [hamburgers].
Ponton, a crime is like a jigsaw puzzle. You have to have the jig, and you have to have the saw. You have the jig, but no saw! Where is your saw?! Oh! Your Honor! I want to perform a case, but I only have a jig, is that okay?
[Talking to Yuri] You need to work on your accent!

Charles Dreyfus

I have been nominated seven times for the medal of honor. I have never won. But still-- seven nominations, [looks irritated] that's...something...
[After meeting Clouseau] Oh, he's perfect! Yes, we have definitely found our man. [Fails to see the ink leaking from his pen, which Clouseau damaged] Why do I feel wet?
Dr. Pang is from China. The poison is from China. The Chinese are from China! It may be too early to say for certain, but I think our killer is Chinese.
[As Clouseau is leaving the Presidential Palace, having won the Medal of Honor instead of Dreyfus] Yes, I know. Idiot. [Looks down to see his pant leg caught in the door of Clouseau's car] Oh no.

Dialogue

Inspector Clouseau:[Breaks down door to apartment] You are under arrest for ze' murder of Pierre Fouquette! [Is pointing at a dog]

Inspector Clouseau:[Breaks down door to next apartment] You are under arrest for ze' murdur of Pierre Fouquette! [Is pointing at a baby]

Inspector Clouseau:[Breaks down door to next apartment] You are under arrest for ze' murdur of Pierre Fouquette! [Is pointing at Pierre Fouquette, eating meal] Pierre Fouquette?! Ze Case is closed!

Reporter: Do you know if the killer was a man or a woman?

Inspector Clouseau: Well of course I know that! What else is there? A kitten?!

Inspector Clouseau: Nicole, can I be very frank with you?

Nicole: Yes

Inspector Clouseau:You have put on a TON of weight! Now what I do when I get a little heavy...[takes off thick glasses]never mind.

Inspector Clouseau: [footsteps coming] Footsteps. Its a young woman. 30 to 35 years old. 5"2, 5"4. Brunette. And she is wearing high heels. Perhaps a bit too formal for the afternoon. She has on...[sniffs air] Chanel number 5.

Inspector Clouseau: Is Anyone with you?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Clouseau: Do you have a pair of high 'eels in that bag?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Clouseau: Not even a small pair of pumps?

Yuri: No?

Inspector Clouseau: Who are you?

Yuri: I am Yuri, the trainer.

Inspector Clouseau: So what is it you do here Yuri the trainer?

Yuri: I...train.

Inspector Clouseau: So you are Yuri the trainer who trains. humph.

Inspector Clouseau: DO NOT LEAVE EUROPE!

Yuri: bu-but I have to go to Asia.

Inspector Clouseau: Okay,...DO NOT LEAVE EUROPE OR ASIA!

Yuri: We have one match in Brazil.

Inspector Clouseau: Alright,...DO NOT LEAVE EUROPE, ASIA, OR THE AMERICAS!

Yuri: Okay.

Reporter: But what about the diamond?!

Dreyfus: [steps in front of Clouseau] Thank you Clouseau, for carrying out my orders...now hand over the diamond, Yuri.

Yuri: Why do I care about your stinking diamond?!

Inspector Clouseau: The murderer does not have the diamond!

Dreyfus:[chuckling]The murderer does not have the diamond? So where is it Clouseau?

Inspector Clouseau: It is there, in her purse![points to Xania]

006: Bosworth. Nigel Bosworth. Agent 006. Do you know what that means?

Clouseau: Yes. It means you are one short of the big-time.