Nicholas

• This was iced tea.

• Did I have a choice? Did I have a choice?

• I'm being toyed with by a bunch of depraved children.

• I don't care about the money. I'm pulling back the curtain. I want to meet the wizard.

• And you really believe that just because you publish children's books, people are going to care about my reputation? You can have pictures of me wearing nipple rings, butt-fucking Captain Kangaroo. The only thing they care about is the stock and whether that stock is up or down!

Conrad

• They won't leave me alone! I'm a goddam human piñata!

• They fuck you and fuck you and fuck you, and just when you think it's over, that's when the real fucking begins!

Dialogue

[Nicholas loses a shoe when climbing a fire-escape ladder.]

Nicholas: There goes a thousand dollars.

Christine: Your shoes cost a thousand dollars?

Nicholas: That one did.

Jim Feingold: You know, thank God you jumped, because if you didn't, I was supposed to throw you off!

Conrad: This is for you.

Nicholas: You shouldn't have.

Conrad: What do you get for the man who has…everything?

Nicholas: [reading the card] "Consumer Recreation Services." Well, I do have golf clubs.

Conrad: Call that number.

Nicholas: Why?

Conrad: Make your life... fun.

Nicholas: Fun.

Conrad: You know what that is... uh, you've seen other people have it.