Directed by Hal Needham. Written by Hal Needham, Robert L. Levy, James Lee Barrett, Charles Shyer and Alan Mandel.

Sheriff Buford T. Justice

• [to his son] There's no way, no way that you came from my loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!

Dialogue

Bandit: Now, you want me to drive to Texarkana, pick up 400 cases of Coors and come back in 28 hours. No problem.

Little Enos: It ain't never been done before, hot shit.

Bandit: You watch your language, little lady. The problem here, is that Coors beer, you take that east of Texas and that's uh, that's bootlegging.

Little Enos: You know I think you're just a little bit scared.

Bandit: That's real good psychology. Why don't you say something bad about my mother?

Little Enos: Yo' mamma is so ugly...

[A funeral procession has succeeded in blocking Sheriff Justice's progress, allowing the Bandit to escape]

Junior: Damn, he had a lot of friends, didn't he?

Sheriff Justice: If they'd have cremated the sumbitch, I'd be kickin' that Mr. Bandit's ass around the moon by now!

Sheriff Branford: The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation.

Sheriff Justice: The god damn Germans got nothin' to do with it!

Junior: Daddy, I think the..

Sheriff Justice: [cutting him off] Shut up, shut up! One shit at a time!

[a truck driver has sheered a door off of Sheriff Justice's patrol car]

Buford T. Justice: I saw that, you sumbitch! You did that on purpose! You're going away till you're gray! I got the evidence! [speaks to Junior] Put the evidence in the car.

Junior: But Daddy...

Buford T. Justice: Put the evidence in the car! [shouting to trucker again, who is long out of earshot] I'm gonna barbeque yo' ass in molasses!

Carrie: Actually, my heaviest relationship was with an acid-rock singer... named Robert Crumly. We were together, oh, eight-and-a-half days. God, I really thought that was it.

Bandit: And?

Carrie: One day, I came home and found him in the shower... with a girl... and her mother!

Bandit: Well, at least he kept it in the family.

[Bandit and company encounter Sheriff Justice on their way from the fairgrounds]

Bandit: [through CB radio] Sheriff, uh, Buford T. Justice, please.

Sheriff Justice: Who there?

Bandit: This is "Bandit" Darville talkin'.

Sheriff Justice: Where are you, you sumbitch?

Bandit: Before I tell you where I am, Sheriff, there's just one thing I wanna say. You must be part coon dog. I've been chased by the best of them, and son, you make 'em look like they're all runnin' in slow motion. I just wanna say that.

Sheriff Justice: Well, thank you, Mr. Bandit. And as the pursuer, may I say you're the goddamnedest pursuee I've ever pursued. Now that the mutual bullshit is over, [shouting angrily] where are you, you sumbitch?!

Bandit: Well, I'm right down at the bottom of the hill, Sheriff. I'm about six-foot-eight, in a cowboy outfit, got a little pygmy standing right beside me dressed just like me. You can't miss me. 10-4.

[Sheriff Justice looks down the hill; Bandit has a change of heart and decides to reveal his true identity]

Bandit: You know what? Scratch that, Sheriff, I can't do that to you; you're too good a man. Look over your left shoulder.

Sheriff Justice: [looking over his shoulder, wearing a look of shock] Oof!

Taglines

• What we have here is total lack of respect for the law!

• Time to take to the road, for a quiet little drive in the country...or not.

Cast

• Burt Reynolds — Bo "the Bandit" Darville
• Jackie Gleason — Sheriff Buford T. Justice
• Jerry Reed — Cledus "Snowman" Snow
• Sally Field — Carrie
• Paul Williams — Little Enos Burdette
• Pat McCormick — Big Enos Burdette
• Mike Henry — Junior