Laney

• What is this, some sort of dork outreach program?
• I feel just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. You know, except for the whole hooker thing.
• Who the HELL would nominate me?
• Am I a bet? Am I a FUCKING BET?

Zach

• This is all fascinating, Taylor, but could you skip to the part where you decided to screw me over.
• Sometimes when you open up to people, you let the bad in with the good.
• All you have left is a C minus GPA with a Wonderbra.
• Give her the right look, the right boyfriend, and bam. In six weeks she's being named prom queen.
• So, Laney, I was wondering if you wanted to... [Laney walks away]... embarrass me horribly in front of all these people.

Brock

• It's not about disrespect, it's just gas.
• You didn't really think I'd leave for All-Star "Road Rules" and still be dating you? Oh, you did? That's so sweet.

Other

• Mackenzie: So who's the lucky rebound skank?
• Taylor: You didn't think you became popular for real, did you? Oh, you did? That's so sweet.
• Dean: One second, you're Zach Siler, class president, stand-out athlete, all-around bad-ass mamba-jahamba; the next thing you know, you're Zach Siler, bitch-boy.
• Girl: My soul is an island, my car is a Ford.

Dialogue

Zach: She kinda blew me off.

Mackenzie: I like her already.

Dean: I mean, the girl's an institution in this place. Every girl wants to be her, and every guy wants to nail her.

Preston: Basically she's you, with tits.

Dean: Is that a no?

Laney: That's a hell no.

Zach: What was that?

Laney: I was busy.

Zach: Yeah, busy wiggin'.

Laney: I did not wig.

Zach: Oh, there was major wiggage.

Taylor: [spilling drink on Laney] Oh, Oopsie. You know, you really should be more careful with silk.

Laney: Thank you.

Taylor: Excuse me?

Laney: Thank you. For a minute there, I forgot why I avoided places like this and people like you.

Taylor: Avoided us? Honey, look around you. To everyone here who matters, you're vapor, you're spam, a waste of perfectly good yearbook space, and nothing's ever gonna change that.

Taylor: Oh, you aren't going to cry are you?

Laney: Simon! Simon, I have got your breakfast! Are you up?

Simon: Give me a couple of minutes.

Laney: Simon Boggs, there are children in Mexico who have already been up for three hours making clothes for corporate America.

Mackenzie: When was the last time you tweezed?

Laney: What?

Mackenzie: I mean your eyebrows.

Laney: Never, why?

Mackenzie: Ever watch Sesame Street?

Laney: Yeah.

Mackenzie: You know Bert?

Laney: Screw the dolphins.

Jesse: A guy tried that last year, banned from Sea World for life.

Taylor: Careful of what? OK, I could win this thing in florescent lighting, on the first day of my period, cloaked in tacky rags. Okay? My mother was prom queen in '71, my cousin - prom queen in '82, and my sister would have been prom queen in '94 if it wasn't for that scam on the Conway Bed tour bus, okay? I am a goddamn legacy, all right? And besides, not to be a bitch, but who's gonna beat Taylor Vaughan?

Katie: God, I hope that's not your acceptance speech.

Jesse: I'm Jesse Jackson. I'm not a good dancer.

Mackenzie: I'm Mac. I go to school with 500 chicks.

Taylor: Jump up my ass Zach.

Zach: Been there, done that.

Zach: So, can I have the last dance?

Laney: No, you can have the first.

Zach: Has anyone see Taylor?

Chandler: What?

Zach: You know, Taylor, my girlfriend.

Dean: Kinda tall, yells at everyone?

Laney: Sir, have you reached a decision?

Man: Yes I have. Supersize my balls.

Zach: Brock Hudson? What kind of a name is that?

Taylor: What kind of a name is "Zach?" OK, Brock is from "The Real World."

Zach: What, Reseda?

Taylor : No, like the TV show. "Real World LA", second season, hello!

Zach: The dyslexic volleyball guy? They kicked him out of the house.

Dean: His dad owns Harrison Ford.

Laney: The actor?

Dean: No, the car dealership.

Mackenzie: Nothing personal, Laney, but this particular... coif, doesn't really go with your face shape.

Laney: What do you have in mind?

Mackenzie: Well, I have an idea.

Laney: What kind of idea?

Mackenzie: ...You'd really have to trust me.

Melissa: He spoke to me!

Girl #2: He called you Connie!

Melissa: So?

Girl #2: Your name is Melissa!

Cast

• Freddie Prinze Jr. — Zach Siler
• Rachael Leigh Cook — Laney Boggs
• Matthew Lillard — Brock Hudson
• Paul Walker — Dean Sampson
• Jodi Lyn O'Keefe — Taylor Vaughan
• Kevin Pollak — Wayne Boggs
• Anna Paquin — Mackenzie Siler
• Kieran Culkin — Simon Boggs
• Elden Henson — Jesse Jackson
• Usher Raymond — Campus DJ
• Kimberly 'Lil' Kim' Jones — Alex
• Gabrielle Union — Katie
• Dulé Hill — Preston
• Tamara Mello — Chandler