Written and directed by John Waters.

Beverly Sutphin

• Officer, I'm sorry, but we don't allow gum in this house.

• Life doesn't have to be ugly. Look at the birds out there; listen to their call. [makes bird noises] Hwee, hwee, hwee, hwee.

• [after murdering someone] I don't know what it is about today but I feel great!

• Are those... pussy willows?

• [after bludgeoning Mrs. Jenson] Rewind!

• Suzanne Sommers! This is my bad side!

Others

• Eugene Sutphin: [during sex with Beverly] Oh honey, you are hot tonight!

• Chip Sutphin: [in response to Misty telling the family about her new love interest] You sure can pick 'em.

• Misty Sutphin: Chip! Our mother is Charles Manson!

• Ralph Sterner: [while having teeth drilled] Help me Betty! He's worse than the dentist in the Marathon Man!

• Marvin Pickles: There was a lady in the men's room, I swear! A pretty little lady, in the stall right next to me!

• Police woman: Bingo boys, bust the bitch.

• Emma Lou Jenson: [talking to her dog] Come on, lick Mommy's feet. Get 'em all wet!

• Detective: Proceed with caution; she is armed. And fuckin' nuts!

• Mrs. Jenson: [having to pay $1 extra to Chip for not rewinding the film] Keep the change you son of a psycho!

Dialogue

Chip: Hey, dad, have you ever seen Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer?

Eugene: I most certainly have not!

Eugene: Listen to this, [reading from the newspaper] "Hillside Strangler gets his college degree in prison".

Beverly: That's nice, dear.

Eugene: Nice? He should have been executed!

Misty: He killed people, mom!

Beverly: We all have our bad days.

Chip: Is there a killer loose?!

Detective Pike: No, son, nothing that exciting.

[Beverly calls Dottie Hinkle]

Dottie Hinkle: Hello?

Beverly Sutphin: Is this the Cocksucker residence?

Dottie Hinkle: God damn you! Stop calling here!

Beverly Sutphin: Isn't this 4215 Pussy Way?

Dottie Hinkle: You bitch!

Beverly Sutphin: Now let me check the zip code. Two-one-two-fuck-you?

Dottie Hinkle: The police are tracing this call this very minute.

Beverly Sutphin: Well, Dottie Hinkle, then why aren't they here, huh, fuckface?

Dottie Hinkle: FUCK YOU! [hangs up]

Beverly Sutphin: [laughs manically]

[Beverly immediately calls Dottie back]

Dottie Hinkle: Didn't I just say fuck you!?

Beverly Sutphin: [in a different voice] I beg your pardon!

Dottie Hinkle: Who is this?

Beverly Sutphin: Mrs. Wilson from the telephone company. We understand you're having some trouble with an obscene phone caller?

Dottie Hinkle: Oh, Mrs. Wilson, I'm so sorry. These calls are driving me crazy! I'm a divorced woman, please help me.

Beverly Sutphin: Well what exactly does this sick individual say to you?

Dottie Hinkle: I can't say the words out loud, I don't use bad language.

Beverly Sutphin: Oh yes, I know it's difficult, but we need to know the exact words.

Dottie Hinkle: I'll try. Cocksucker, that's what she calls me.

Beverly Sutphin: [reverting to the original voice] Listen to your filthy mouth, you fuckin' whore!

Dottie Hinkle: Goddamn you!

Beverly Sutphin: Motherfucker!

Dottie Hinkle: Cock sucker!

Chip: So happy I could shit.

Beverly: Chip! You know how I hate the brown word.

Misty: Mother! It's Carl! He's dead!

Beverly: How horrible. Oh, I just sold the Peewee Herman doll!

Dottie Hinkle: Nice as pie she was to me, then I hear her say it.

Detective: Say what?

Dottie Hinkle: Are those... I can't say the words out loud.

Detective: Could you tell a police woman the exact words she used?

Dottie Hinkle: Maybe.

Police woman: It's okay, nobody's gonna hurt you. Come on, let it out.

Dottie Hinkle: PUSSY! That's what she said to me! PUSSY WILLOW!

Chip: You know, Mom, Scotty thinks you're the killer.

Beverly: [laughs] Does he? You know, for someone who doesn't wear his seatbelt Scotty sure is nosy.

Chip: Tell me the truth, Mom. Really, it's okay with me. Are you a serial killer?

Beverly: Chip, the only serial I know anything about is Rice Krispies!

Birdie: You're bigger than Freddy and Jason now! Only you're a real person!

Beverly: Do you think I need a lawyer?

Chip: You need an agent!

Beverly: Mrs. Hinkle, do you drink?

Dottie Hinkle: No, I don't.

Beverly: So you weren't drunk when you received those alleged obscene phone calls?

Dottie Hinkle: I certainly was not.

Beverly: You mean to tell me the day I came over to Mrs. Ackerman's, the day you claim you recognized my voice, you weren't drinking?

Dottie Hinkle: One beer with lunch is hardly drinking.

Beverly: So you do drink?

Dottie Hinkle: Socially. I'll have a beer.

Beverly: So you admit you just lied?

Dottie Hinkle: No I don't, you bitch!

Judge: Watch your mouth, Mrs. Hinkle.

[Beverly whispers "fuck you" to Dottie]

Dottie Hinkle: Did you see her?! She just said "fuck you" to me!

Beverly: Let the record show I'm merely standing here!

Dottie Hinkle: Fuck you too, you whore!

Judge: I'm warning you, Mrs. Hinkle. One more obscenity and I'll charge you with contempt of court.

Beverly: Mrs. Hinkle, are you insane?

Dottie Hinkle: No I'm not, you mother fucker!

Beverly: You can't wear white shoes after Labor Day!

Juror #8: That's not true anymore.

Beverly: Yes it is! Didn't your mother tell you?

Juror #8: No! Please! Fashion has changed!

Beverly: No, it hasn't.

Taglines

• Every Mom Wants to Be Wanted, But Not For Murder One!

• She's a fabulous, loving, caring mother, who er... ...happens to be a serial killer!

• At least she meant well.

Cast

• Kathleen Turner - Beverly R. Sutphin
• Sam Waterston - Eugene Sutphin
• Ricki Lake - Misty Sutphin
• Matthew Lillard - Chip Sutphin
• Mary Jo Catlett - Rosemary Ackerman
• Justin Whalin - Scotty Barnhill
• Patricia Dunnock - Birdie
• Mink Stole - Dottie Hinkle
• Patricia Hearst - Juror #8