Speedy Cerviche

• Ever had one of those days when you just want to go back to bed?

• The pussy is the cat's meow.

• Wanna hear my Clint Eastwood?, "Make my day"
• Okay, get camera three in place for the Ginsu Sword sequence. Let's have a big finish!

Guido Anchovy

• On the other hand, there could be a monster, or mutants, or UFOs! This is a cartoon, those writers can do whatever they want!
• Maybe in one of my nine lives I'll be smart enough to figure out why you're crying about this, but I haven't got the time, uh-uh-uh, got to be off with the pizza. Pie, I mean bye!
• Hey guys, there's only one ticket left for the 'Iron Butterly' concert and you're going to have to fight for it.

Polly Esther

• Who comes up with any of those lines?

• [to Bad Bird] We have fanclubs all over the world. And our toys out sell yours 2 to 1.

Narrator

• And so, we come to the end of another adventure with our heroes: Speedy, Polly and Guido, but they'll be back for another episode, unless of course they get a better offer from another producer.
• Even though it was Spritz The Cat who defeated the robots and saved the day, Speedy's the hero who negotiated the lucrative merchandising deal for the Pizza Cats Running Shoes, T-Shirts, Lunchboxes and Executive Desk Sets. So we have a contractual commitment to make a big fuzz over him like this in every episode. Bear with us, folks, it's big business...
• Is this the end of the Pizza Cats? After only seven episodes?
• This sudden explosion of sudden special effects can only mean one thing, it's...The Ginsu Sword cuts the Cheese once again! Who writes this stuff?

The Big Cheese

• Darn Pizza Cats!!! That's NOT fair! NOT fair! (explodes, as per almost every episode)
• This wasn't in the script. I want my stunt double, and I want him now!

Jerry Atrick

• Calm down, Mr. Cheese! Calm down!
• (after the cats have broken into Big Cheese's vault)Oh no! Someone has broken into the vault! I hope they don't scratch my "Lovin' Spoonfull" albums.

Bat Cat

• [After catching Speedy who was thrown out the palace window] Friday night for poker as usual?

Lucille

Francine & Parmesan

Bad Bird

• (who has just found out that Big Cheese didn't mean a nuclear potato)Shooks... It wasn't a nuclear, it was just a common tater
• Now you know what it's like to live in Quebec. Perhaps now you'll learn to speak au français. Give us the secret, or you'll be eating crêpes, pal!

Others

• I heard him scream last night and it was horrible. I wish he wouldn't do that when he gets kidnapped.
• This is hotter then a stolen Subaru!

Main Title Song

• Narrator: (spoken)Will somebody PLEASE cue that bird?
  Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (Oh yeah)
  Narrator: Who do you call when you want some pepperoni?
  Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (Right on)
  Narrator: They're stampin' out crime and you know that ain't baloney.
  There's Speedy Cerviche and he's the leader of the bunch.
  Chorus: That's right
  Narrator: A heck of a fighter (Whoa!)
  Makes a heck of a lunch
  And little Polly Esther who's never afraid (That's me)
  Of going into battle when the bad guys invade
  There's Guido Anchovy
  A wild romantic lover
  The cat gets down, down with a love-hangover
  Chorus: Here Come the Pizza Cats
  Narrator: They're so bad
  They've got more fur than any turtle ever had.
  Chorus: Stronger than old cheese (Stronger than old cheese)
  Chorus: Stronger than dirt (Stronger than dirt)
  Chorus: Step on their tails (Polly meows)
  Chorus: Then you're gonna get hurt (Don't hurt me, please!)
  Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats
  Narrator: They're fightin crime
  Chorus: All over town
  Chorus: 3, 2, 1. Pizza Cats are on the run
  Narrator: The Big Cheese is the villan, who's lower than low
  It's a rotten shame he lives in Little Tokyo
  He's got a nasty temper and some nasty Ninja Crows
  As soon as someone finds the script, we might begin the show
  Sit right back, pick up a seat and turn the sound up high
  And if you want the full effect, go eat a pizza-pie!
  Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (narrator laughs as Speedy falls into the sea)

End Title Song

• Narrator: Ladies and Gentleman! The Samurai Pizza Cats Fan Club Oath!
  The Big Cheese: The Pizza Cats are Samurais and I'd like to note.
  Jerry Atric: Their antics take your breath away!
  The Big Cheese: Like furballs in your throat.
  Speedy: We kittens are a special breed. We never call retreat
  Guido: Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down
  Polly: We land upon (blows a kiss) our feet!
  Narrator: So hail to thee, O Pizza Cat! Please ring your little bell! (Speedy rings his collar bell)
  Although you may be pen and ink, we know you'll fight like...
  All: PIZZA CATS!
  (song starts)
  Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats
  Narrator: We hope you liked the show, it's the best that we could do
  Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats.
  Narrator: If you could do better, then we'd leave it up to you.
  Just a reminder that you might like to know
  The Cats will be back for another big show! (laughs) Oh gosh!
  Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats
  Narrator: They're fighting crime. Oh Yes!
  Chorus: All over town.
  2, 4, 6, 8!
  Why do we expectorate?
  Samurai Pizza Cats
  Narrator: Read all the credits, so you know who did the work
  Chorus: Samurai Pizza Cats (crowd cheers)