Written and directed by Randy Barbato and Fenton Bailey.

Michael Alig

• Typical James, tired old drug addict. Can't even stay awake for your own movie!
• I wanted to create my own world. A world full of color where everyone could play. One big party that never ends.
• You'll love me. I promise.
• We'll put James in a cage and hang a sign over it that says, "Do not feed the drug child!"
• The road of excess leads to the palace of... fabulousness!
• Oh please, party in the truck!
• I won't do crack without heroin!
• But it's my birthday and I want a bloodfeast!
• That's not a crack hole, that's a rat hole. Rats on crack attack!
• You're just some lame-ass, Johnny-come-lately, fairy, faggot, copycat! You don't even know your skrink from your skrod! You stupid logger blogger!
• Oh James, I'm getting away with murder and you're just jealous.
• That's Skrink la do, to you.
• ..Not that it's your movie. You think it's yours. But it's really mine. All mine.
• Come to my party. You can be my boyfriend.

James St. James

• Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3. Testosterone, testicular cancer, Tess of the D'urbervilles.
• I don't do. I just am.
• The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. Blake, William. That's really all you need to know. That and "Don't dream it, be it!"
• Michael was growing on me. Like a fungus.
• The North Pole! I've made it across the frozen tundra. My faithful huskies perished in the blizzard way back. I had to eat them.
• Darling, half the fun of eating meat is hacking it up.
• I am not addicted to drugs, I'm addicted to glamor!
• Mm, lightly toasted animal tranquilizer.
• It doesn't matter what you look like! I mean if you have a hunchback, just throw a little glitter on it, honey, and go dancing.
• It was better than a ten-inch dick and you know it!

Others

• Elke: He was always making money. He just had a knack for it. My little candy man.
• Christina: How do you like my UFO?
• Police Officer: [trying to pick Christina up] Let's go, sweetheart. You're a big girl.

Dialogue

James: Michael, I hate you for making me say serious things so I will only say this once. You've gone too far with the drugs.

Michael: Have you looked in the mirror lately?

Michael: So. How's the novel coming?

James: I've done another page! But now I think I might have writer's block.

Michael: Two pages in five years?

Michael: So, notice anything different?

James: [looks around] The flies?

Michael: No, seriously James. Anything or anyone missing? Like a drug dealer who used to live here?

James: Well darling that could be anyone. Can I buy a vowel?

Michael: Hi. I'm Michael Alig.

James: Well I'll alert the media. Gotta dash!

Keoki: Are we going far?

Michael: All the way I hope.

James: I know what you need. A nice hot cup of hot chocolate.

Michael: Can you put some ecstasy in mine?

Michael: We're like two peas in a pod, you and I, James.

James: I pity the pod.

Michael: You're the Yoda to my Luke.

James: Excuse me. You're the Paula Abdul to my Janet Jackson.

Michael: That's good, right?

Michael: Our magazine's on the stands today. Can you believe it? Our own magazine!

James: I've already seen it, and there's a problem. A big problem. I've been cut off. [reads from magazine page] "James St. James heads up white slave ring, sells twelve year old boys on Avenue B. Exclusive by Michael Alig." Why, Michael? Why?

Michael: Oh come on Skrink, I think it's funny!

James: My father does not share your sense of humor!

Michael: I didn't know he was a Project X reader!

James: Yes you did, because you sent him a lifetime subscription!

Michael: Angel bailed me out.

James: Angel?

Michael: Well, actually, Angel bailed you out.

James: Me?

Michael: Yeah, I told the police I was you.

[James gawks in disbelief]

Michael: Oh James, it's just all in fun. And after I told them you had AIDS, they gave me my own room with a VCR and ice cream!

James: Michael, I don't even like you! I have never liked you!

Talk Show Host: Is it true, ma'am, that your son Michael turned you on to the pill ecstasy?

Elke: He said it was a headache pill.

Talk Show Host: What happened when you took it?

Elke: Well, my headache went away..

Cast

• Seth Green - James St. James
• Macaulay Culkin - Michael Alig
• Diana Scarwid - Elke
• Chloë Sevigny - Gitsie
• Marilyn Manson - Christina
• Dylan McDermott - Peter Gatien
• Mia Kirshner- Natasha
• Wilmer Valderrama - Keoki
• Daniel Franzese - The Rat/Dallas MC
• Natasha Lyonne - Brooke
• Elliot Kriss - Cabbie
• Wilson Cruz - Angel