John Keith Patrick Allen (March 17, 1927 – July 28, 2006) was a British actor and voice actor.

E4

Allen was the voiceover for numerous trails and idents on British digital channel E4. His voiceover pieces were regularly irreverent and very funny, and matched the young, fun style of the channel. His vocal contributions to the channel have become very popular among young people in the UK, probably one of the coolest pensioners in the UK!

'Blair Witch Project' Trail

Girl: [crying in film] It's all my fault!

Allen: [voiceover] Yes, it's all your fault, you big blubbering baby! It's your fault we're lost, it's your fault everyone's gonna die, and it's your fault the camera work is so shoddy I can't see a ruddy thing.

'Brat Camp USA' Trail

• Do I care? No I flipping well don't!

• String 'em up and watch the piggies squeal!

E4 Music Trails

• In 1885 we invented music television. We just didn't bother telling anybody.

• Chucking Spunky Tunes In Your Tellybox

E4 Udderbelly

• Behold the E4 Udderbelly! An Edinburgh Festival venue that's a ruddy inflatable cow!

'She's All That' Trail

• He's the popular high school jock. She's the geek nobody can be bothered to speak to. You'll never guess what happens next! Well...you probably will.

'The Simple Life'/'Britney & Kevin: Chaotic' Trail

• Paris squashed against Britney in your gaff