No Agenda (2007)

• What do you call an honest Iranian businessman? Asif.

• Its part of a comedy cultural exchange tour: tonight, I am doing the UK and Jim Davidson is being buggered in Baghdad right now, systematically and without cessation, by United States Troops! Such fun.

• Semtex... with nowt taken out!
  • Imitating suicide bombers from Leeds

• A Persian Cat! Not an Iranian cat, no: an Iranian cat has a bomb under the body warmer!

• I am the only Iranian comedian in the world... and that's three more than Germany!

• YOU BASTARD! Come to my carpet shop.