Count Duckula

• Grateful nothing! We need another portrait in here like this castle needs more cobwebs!
• Oh Great!
• I might have been killed!
• Goosewing,I......er.........I mean...................I mean get out!

Nanny

• I'll Get It!
• Cooey! Duckyboos!
• Oooh, I can see I'm going to have to teach you some manners!
• You be a brave soldier.

Dr. Von Goosewing

• Chee!! Now, voss izz happening?
• Duckula, you fiend!
• Duckula! Your days are numbered! Soon, you monster, you will be no more!

Von Goosewing: I ask you to do one thing,Heinreich,one small thing and what do you do?

Heinreich: I don't know! What do I do?

Von Goosewing: You don't do it,that's what!

Von Goosewing: You have ruined everything!

Heinreich: It isn't my fault!

Von Goosewing: It is your fault! It's all your fault!

Season 1

• Duckula: Hmmm this mirror's filthy. I must tell Igor the clean it! Look at me! Sunken eyes... and that flabby stomach - yuk! And, as for the face... Boy, I need a break!
• Evil Duckula: Forgive me for pointing that obvious. But you do know that vampires have no reflections.
• Duckula: Of course we don't! Anyone knows that...
• Evil Duckula: Mmmmm! What a beautiful throat you have! You know vampires always sink into their necks!
• Duckula: Huh?
• Evil Duckula: And what a neck! Just the right size for my teeth!
• Duckula: Aaaaaaaaaghh! Help!
• Dr. Von Goosewing's Monster: Und I woke up wiz ziss terrible headache and...
• Duckula: Heeeeelp!
• Evil Duckula: Somebody, stop that neck! It's getting away!
• Dr. Von Goosewing: Come my little one. Come to Papa!
• Dimitri: [the clock bats emerge for a daily dose of humour] Hey, Svistoslav, that reminds me... What's the difference between a Yak and a Bison?
• Svistoslav: I don't know, Dimitri. Tell me, what is the difference between a Yak and a Bison?
• Dimitri: You can't wash your hands and face in a Yak!

[goes back into the clock laughing to himself]

• Svistoslav: [returning inside the clock] But you can't wash your hands and face in a Bison, either...

Season 2

• Duckula: [To Nanny] Has this information penetrated what we laughingly call your BRAIN???

Theme Song

In the heart of Transyl-vania

In the Vampire Hall of Fame yeah

There's not a vampire zanier that

DUCKULA!

He won't bite beast or man

Cos he's a vegetarian

AARRRRGH!!

And things never run to plan for

DUCKULA!

When you're lookin' for some fun

You can always count upon

The wild and wacky one they call

DUCKULA!

Heh, Heh, Heh. Count Duckula. Heh, Heh, Heh.