D.E.B.S. is a 2004 spy-film spoof about plaid-skirted schoolgirls who are groomed by a secret government agency to become the newest members of the elite national-defense group, D.E.B.S. (Discipline, Energy, Beauty, and Strength).

Written and directed by Angela Robinson.

They're crime-fighting hotties with killer bodies. Taglines

Lucy Diamond

• Well, their poster child doesn't know it yet, but she's into me.

• I guess I'll see you around...'same bat time' or whatever.

Amy Bradshaw

• [to Janet] Remember when you got drunk and nearly got the chancellor of Bulgaria killed? I covered for you!

• [to Lucy] I'm here because I feel more like me when I'm with you, than I do when I'm with me.

• I think love should be irresistible, like a drug, you know? I think when it happens you should just not be able to help yourself. I just - I wanted... more.

Others

• Dominique: You're not as boring as I thought. But you're not as bright, either.

• Mr Phipps: You are a perfect liar.

• Scud: Knock 'em dead... but not really.

• Janet: Have you seen my gun?

• Ms. Petrie: This is not the Girl Scouts, this is espionage!

Dialogue

Dominique: You need to put it here. Don't be an idiot for once.

Janet: You need to speak French or English. Frenglish is not a language.

---

Max: And what did I say to you the very first day of Academy?

Amy: "That's my bunk, bitch."

Max: Okay, after I said that.

---

Scud: Just promise me you'll be open.

Lucy: Open to what?

Scud: Open to love.

---

Lucy: [on an awkward blind date] So, you're an assassin.

Ninotchka: Da.

Lucy: How's that work?

Ninotchka: It's mostly freelance.

---

Lucy: [clutching stomach] I just, I'm feeling really ill. It's my stomach. I, um, I think I have food poisoning.

Ninotchka: Are you blowing me?

Lucy: What?

Ninotchka: Off. Are you blowing me off?

---

Amy: '[looking at Lucy through binoculars] Wow. Lucy Diamond, she's...

Max: What?

Amy: Real.

---

Lucy: [after Amy refuses to go out with her] Why not?

Amy: [still with her weapon trained on Lucy] Like a zillion reasons!

[Lucy kicks the weapon pointed at her away, then snatches it away, and points it at Amy]

Lucy: Now you have to come with me. [giggles]

---

Janet: I have the sweater she's wearing, but in taupe.

Amy: Really? Where did you get it?

Janet: Target.

Amy: No way.

Dominique: Silence!

Janet: [whispering] They also have it in teal.

---

Lucy: [talking about a girl she met, Amy] Okay, first of all, you are gonna have to swear to me that you are not gonna freak out about this.

Scud: Freak out about what? Why would I freak out?

Lucy: Well, you know, sometimes you can--

Scud: [freaking out] Oh, my God, who is it?

---

Janet: [watching Amy and Lucy flirt] Correct me if I'm wrong, but your friend seems to be hitting on my friend.

Scud: You're not wrong.

Janet: Yeah, but my friend's not into that.

Scud: [under breath] Right.

---

Janet: [catching Amy and Lucy in a near kiss] Oh, my God! She almost kissed you! You almost let her!

Scud: [smug] You owe me fifty bucks.

---

Amy: Nothing happened.

Janet: She was totally going to kiss you. You are so into her!

Amy: I am not!

Janet: You violated a prime directive. Plus, hello, it's a girl. You're so busted!

---

Janet: They're calling you a hero, when really you're a slut!

Amy: Shut up!

Janet: [lowers voice] A gay slut!

Amy: I'm not gay!

---

Max: [to Amy] I don't care if you are the Perfect Score.

Janet: [under her breath] Perfect whore!

---

Max: I can't stop thinking about Lucy Diamond.

Janet: [incredulous] You too?

---

Lucy: Come with me. Come on, what do you have to lose?

Amy: Everything.

---

Lucy: I didn't even want to be a criminal. I wanted to be a pirate.

Amy: [laughs] Pirates are criminals.

Lucy: Oh. Whoops.

---

[Amy fails to unhook Lucy's bra properly during their make-out session]

Lucy: Did you just snap my bra?

Amy: No.

Lucy: Yeah, you did. That hasn't happened to me since sixth grade.

Amy: I was trying to be smooth.

---

Mrs. Petrie: Annie--

Madeline: Amy.

Mrs. Petrie: Amy, I think you identify with Lucy Diamond. I think she sees your pathos. You've got some dangerous union symbiosis going on. What's that movie with Jodie, and the little dog falls in the well, with the lotion?

Madeline: "Silence of the Lambs".

Mrs. Petrie: You're the lamb, Amy.

---

Mrs. Petrie: Are you kidding me? We conduct a nationwide manhunt for you and you're boning the suspect? Did you think this was a joke? "Let's divert federal resources and man-hours so I can have my collegiate lesbian fling in style."

Amy: I was doing research.

Mrs. Petrie: I'll bet.

---

Amy: Do you remember what I said to you the first time we met?

Max: "High-proteins diets are overrated".

Amy: After that.

---

Lucy: Australia's toast.

Scud: What's your beef with the Australians?

Lucy: I don't like their attitude!

---

Scud: So, I was wondering if maybe you wanted--

Janet: Yes.

Scud: I didn't ask you anything yet.

Janet: Whatever it is, yes.

Scud: Awesome.

---

Scud: All right, then. We're going in.

Lucy: What?

Scud: We gots to get her back.

---

Scud: D.E.B.S. en route, two minutes.

Lucy: Do I look okay?

Scud: [looks annoyed] This is retarded.

---

Scud: What...the hell?

Janet: I couldn't stop them!

Scud: [pauses] You look nice.

Janet: Thanks.

[pauses]

Janet: What?

Max: [to Janet] What are you doing?

Janet: [to Max] Nothing!

[punches Scud, who falls to the floor, unconscious]

Janet: Sorry!

---

Max: [referring to Amy] If you break her heart, I will hunt you down and kill you.

Lucy: [smiles] Deal.

---

Janet: So, where're you going to?

Amy: I think...Barcelona.

Janet: I'll miss you.

[pauses]

Janet: Can I have your room?

Cast

• Sara Foster - Amy Bradshaw
• Jordana Brewster - Lucy Diamond
• Meagan Good - Max Brewer
• Devon Aoki - Dominique
• Jill Ritchie - Janet
• Jimmi Simpson - Scud
• Holland Taylor - Mrs. Petrie
• Michael Clarke Duncan - Mr. Phipps
• Jessica Cauffiel - Ninotchka Kaprova
• Christina Kirk - Madeleine