Radha Soami Satsang Beas
My husband a strong radha soami follower (satsungi) left me one week after our marriage.
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Anonymous91
We got married on the 02/03/2013 after a 4yr relationship. Neither of our parents agreed, however I left my parents for him and thought that we will go together to see them, to show them we are happy and to press give us their blessings. He too agreed. My dad was against our marriage only because he was worried my husband was marrying me for visa although that was not the case as his visa was already in process and everything was ok, my papa was fair on his opinion.
However, my husbands mum threatened her life to her son, said to leave me slowly slowly. I did nothing wrong, I supported my husband, promised I'd leave everything for him, will attend satsung regularly and will take care of his parents too. No girl these day do that for their inlaws but I was more than happi to for their happiness.
A week after our marriage his mum got severely ill so my husband left me to go to India to c her n asked I come if I had to. So I agreed. When he got their he told both parents he got married. Even after experiencing a near to death experience his mum still threatened her life, the dad won't even let me talk to him n now they want him to leave me..
They want a daughter in law who will serve them there n not work.
This is not fair. I have sacrificed a lot, cried so much, I am even suffering from anxiety and depression. Even God's heart is not made of stone that he will make his children suffer this much. His parents r not afraid or ashamed of ruining my life n neither is my husband.
Both my husband n his papa have naam n do meditation.
For what ? This is beyond doin a sin, to hurt n betray someone else's daughter.
They also have a daughter but seem oblivious of what karma she may suffer because of the parents.

I know this is deep and personal but I really want your advice, your help even.
I am open to any thoughts and input please. N do ask any questions if necessary.

Thanks
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replied to:  Anonymous91
susingh
Replied to:  We got married on the 02/03/2013 after a 4yr relationship. Neither...
Yes! It appears as if some SATSANGI is spoiling another life!

Anyhow following points, in the above post, are quite strange and need further clarification before sharing some views in such a critical but a very sensitive and personal matter.

1. It has been brought out that marriage was held after 4 years of a live-in-relationship in USA. If so, what was the visa status of both of them in USA and in which state both of them were working, because RSSB SATSANG centers are in few states only?

2. Doesn’t it mean that husband’s status of being a SATSANGI, including his father also being a SATSANGI, was very well known because of reported existing long live-in-relationship? This question is very vital because one has shown her preparedness to leave everything for husband and even attend SATSANG on regular basis.

3. How could husband’s parents, in India, be looked after, while living/working in USA, which was practically impossible, more so when marriage was held without parents’ consent on both sides?

4. How is preparedness to be a SATSANGI, and attending SATSANG with husband, taken as vital issue for some resolution of the problem?

Anyhow, it is a stage of maintaining some constraint instead of taking some steps in haste, for some viable resolution, unless --------.
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palyal81
Replied to:  We got married on the 02/03/2013 after a 4yr relationship. Neither...
Dear sister,
This is not RSSB official website,& don't ever expect that babaji will answer your questions,

First of all,
What you think, sharing your personal matter on internet will solve your queries/problems ?? NO,it will not solve any more , infact it will make you more confuse. these kind of major problem can be only solved face to face NOT ON NET.

stop taking any advice(personal) from strangers,because there are many fools who uses multiple FAKE ID'S will just play with your comments & will give nothing out-put, & will ask you bla bla bla....solutions/questions.

The only solution for this is please seek your ADULTS advice, NOT from strangers to whom you have never seen,they can only misguide you dear.

& this forum is for spiritual queries/RSSB.

All the best.....



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replied to:  Anonymous91
0027
Replied to:  We got married on the 02/03/2013 after a 4yr relationship. Neither...
The advice, given in the above post, is quite justified, more so because it has been shared by one very GYANI RSSB SATSANGI, aged 24 years awaiting NAAM DAAN but knows lot of RSSB philosophy in depth.

As otherwise, it is quite right that personal problems, of this kind, need not be expected to have any resolution through internet in general and through this spiritual forum in particular.

One can find lot of spiritual bookish knowledge, shared on this forum, by such RSSB GYANI DHYANIS.
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replied to:  susingh
Anonymous91
Replied to:  Yes! It appears as if some SATSANGI is spoiling another life!...
I understand ur point but I was happi for then to live here with us even, the thing is they refuse to web come here to c the place.. Or either I was fine to go there for sometime with my husband..
U r right he has spoilt my life.. The parents want us to have a divorce now..
I am a good person, never hurt anyone never brought pain to anyone. I always stuck by my words n promises so y does such happen to me ?
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replied to:  palyal81
Anonymous91
Replied to:  Dear sister, This is not RSSB official website,& don't ever expect...
Thanks, I understand but I am so helpless, no one is on my side here, no one is helping me at all.. I am just alone, weak, hoping that everything will be ok but it seems to be getting worse day by day.
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replied to:  Anonymous91
jvkprm11
Replied to:  We got married on the 02/03/2013 after a 4yr relationship. Neither...
Hi
it is really difficult situation if you have left everything for someone , dear this is life but do not be doormat for anyone ,our life is most priceless thing than anything else ,if he has changed then this situation is also not forever just take care of yourself and your health and try to divert your mind if something will happen it will happen our worry level can not reduce it ,i think you have done more sacrifice please do not do it again if he is your ,he will come to you as it otherwise if you will indulge your self at every cost then it will make more worrisome situation for you .Eat healthy, best of luck
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replied to:  jvkprm11
Anonymous91
Replied to:  Hi it is really difficult situation if you have left everything...
I know it is difficult.
But what bothers me is how hi fi they r when it comes to satsung. I mean he got naam daan last year. How can some true follower of satsung n God to that to another human being. It would've been different if I didn't want anything to do with his family.
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replied to:  Anonymous91
susingh
Replied to:  I understand ur point but I was happi for then to...
How can divorce cause pain for those who don't want to talk of reconciling for a situation, if created by them, that too being a SATSANGI family?

Else, life is full of struggle and one should talk of a sacrifice only if it is accepted by someone even without some visible grace. Efforts for some resolution could be fruitful only if other side had even some consideration for human values.

As otherwise, display of behavior, by various RSSB SATSANGIS at large, does not merit any double thinking because they consider themselves to be very near to GOD/SACHKHAND, but treat others to be downtrodden humans on the earth. They do behave generously with SATSANGIS only but change their colors surprisingly while dealing with others.

But in the instant case, not withstanding ignoring the blessings of parents of both sides, the most surprising/intriguing part relates to an unanswered question as to how one could go ahead for marriage even after having live-in-relation with a STSANGI for such a long time? So, it does not appear to be logical/ethical to draw any conclusion by hearing one side of this episode, more so when such sacred/private matter need not to be discussed in public and could be finalized through self conscious, in consultation with parents only now, even though, they were ignored altogether earlier.
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replied to:  susingh
Anonymous91
Replied to:  How can divorce cause pain for those who don't want to...
I'm sorry but parents were never ignored and they had no reason of refusal.
I did mention this was personal but I really needed to let it out with others opinion. Sometimes it helps to speak with strangers, true ?
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replied to:  Anonymous91
susingh
Replied to:  I'm sorry but parents were never ignored and they had no...
Such a quick response means only, as if the needful has been done from USA only and may be from CA somewhere, whereas spouse may be with his ailing mother in India. Also fact appears to be as if the marriage was also got notified in USA only.

This is so, because this post is also being shared from USA only.
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replied to:  susingh
Anonymous91
Replied to:  Such a quick response means only, as if the needful has...
We are from Australia.
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replied to:  Anonymous91
susingh
Replied to:  We are from Australia.
In view of the fact that both are working in Australia (Same place), there appears to be lot of scope for wisdom to prevail ultimately.

So, there does not appear to be any need for taking any final view in haste. Instead, the need of the hour is only to maintain the required courage as also hope for favorable outcome at the earliest, more so because earlier opinion was based on the basis of a survey of RSSB followers, in USA, where SATSANGIS were found displaying quite different unethical behavior at large.

With lot of hope and best wishes please.

May GOD shower all HIS blessings upon the sacredly tied relation!
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replied to:  susingh
Anonymous91
Replied to:  In view of the fact that both are working in Australia...
Thanks for your insight and blessing..
I really don't feel any hope however.
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replied to:  0027
palyal81
Replied to:  The advice, given in the above post, is quite justified, more...
THANX for your compliment, MAHAN SAPTA RISHI MAHAPURUSH JI. maharishi like you can judge the age of peoples also.?? kya baat hei. Mr. Fake ID.
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palyal81
Replied to:  I know it is difficult. But what bothers me is how...
Dear Listen,

you said How can some true follower of satsung n God to that to another human being.

The disciple who has taken naamdan dosn't means that he do not make any mistakes in his life or he/she is now perfect person.or he/she will never breaks any body heart.

If disciple is intentionally hurting sombody, then he/she has to pay for this. & your husband has to pay for this in personal life & even in spiritual progress also.


Do't worry agar ek darwaza band hota hei to sou darwaze khuljate hei. GOD BLESS YOU..
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replied to:  palyal81
Anonymous91
Replied to:  Dear Listen, you said How can some true follower of...
Thanks for ur blessings too. I guess it was intentional because even after his parents knew we were married they'd rather break their sons marriage than to even meet me or give him their blessings.
U know what's done is done if a parent can do that to their own child what hope to other children have in trying to confine n trust their parents.
Hope that makes sense.
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replied to:  Anonymous91
0027
Replied to:  Thanks for ur blessings too. I guess it was intentional because...
Keeping in view one’s long experience and insight about SATSANGIS, much more displayed on this forum also, it has been viewed/opined by many, that non-SATSANGIS should never consider any marriage proposal with any SATSANGIS’ family.

But in the instant case one got fingers burnt due to failure to adjudge anything even after having experienced live-in-relations with a RSSB family for four years. One has said in very nice way that it is easy to know everything about GOD but it is quite impossible to know as to what is hidden inside some human, a very complex creation of GOD, notwithstanding even, as if one is SATSANGI or someone else.

However, it is not difficult but impossible to find any happy SATSANGI family due to their main philosophy for spending 10% of their time in meditation in addition to additional 10% time for SEWA apart from mandatory donation to the extent of 10% of their income even by ignoring the requirement of time and money for their family or kids. So keeping in view these prescribed norms, one has to ignore one’s job profile from the beginning as also ignore the interests of their family for want of time required for such activities. SATSANGIS get pleasures by seeing BABAJI/MASTER/GURU in their dreams instead of family, parent kids or carrier.

So in a way, it appears to be a blessing in disguise to have learned a vital lesson of life only within seven days of marriage. So it is a time for courage to stand up on one’s legs by accepting the advice of parents without any regrets by taking it as fate complies only.

This dirty experience can, of course, be shared with all friends in circle, to take a caution note while dealing with SATSANGIS at large.
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replied to:  0027
Anonymous91
Replied to:  Keeping in view one’s long experience and insight about SATSANGIS, much...
Thank u for ur insight. Overall it's seems to be that they r a heartless and hippocrit group of people full of selfishness to me.
I am glad to know that I will no longer be part of such a disgusting family.
And to think I wanted to have children of my own with this man.

I don't know about religion but I do know that I loved him purely with a lot of honesty n trust. He always condemns me of my religion and practices when his has clearly taught him nothing.
U dont need religion to dictate all aspect of life sometimes u need to use ur heart too and clearly this family is screwed in the head.

I ask u all who would do such a thing to their children ?
Who would break their children's marriage for the sake of their own happiness and threats death to their life ?
There is love for God then there's love for ur children and family. Cause you can make sense out of it am I corrcect ?

And also he has told me himself that he has read the posts on this site. His family and he don't blame me at all yet funny enough I have the one left alone in isolation, I am the one who lost my one true love because of his mothers selfishness, I am the one who will no longer be able to remarry (not that I intend to anyways) I am the one with nothing but hurt and pain.
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replied to:  Anonymous91
susingh
Replied to:  Thank u for ur insight. Overall it's seems to be that...
It is difficult to understand as to how mother can be blamed for this episode, when both of you decided and married, without their consent/blessings, more so when such a sacred decision was taken after understanding each other by maintaining a live-in-relation ship not for a month or two but for four long years. No beloved would surrender to the wishes of parents after having married by ignoring parents' wishes/blessings at initial stage. So it is the SATSANGI spouse, who is to be blamed for such a heinous social crime and none else.

Not withstanding the reasons for denying blessings to the couple, there appears to be no need to keep any hatred in mind about in-laws at all, more so when marriage was held by ignoring consent of parents of both sides.

There are many well known examples of love marriages, in every society, where blessings of parents could not be obtained during life time but could sustain, more than arranged marriages, due to true deep love between the two souls only.

Similarly, it is not a question of one's faith in GOD, because RSSB is not a religion but a deep philosophy having lot of inbuilt misgivings wide spread like ------- which is the main cause of sufferings.
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replied to:  susingh
Anonymous91
Replied to:  It is difficult to understand as to how mother can be...
We fought for our love.. We did not live together in those 4yrs though u don't believe it was right at te time and as for the mother she had no reason y we shouldn't be together, goes to show her selfishness..
Since my husband got his naam nothing has been right anyways.
Is it that he's not meditating properly ?
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replied to:  Anonymous91
mohanlal
Replied to:  We fought for our love.. We did not live together in...
Importance of PATIENCE

There is a need to review/revisit the entire issue afresh instead of being in any hurry but by showing lot of patience in such a sacred matter.
In this regard, one needs to examine it on the basis of a very deep philosophy/truth,

“1. Patience with in family means love. So, having patience, not hurry, with in family only means love.

2. Patience outside family means respect. So, patience, not hurry, outside family only conveys respect for someone outside family.

3. Patience within self means confidence. So, patience, not hurry within self only means the extent of one’s confidence.

4. Patience with GOD shows faith. So if one shows patience, not hurry for GOD, it means then only that one has faith in GOD. In the instant case it is very important for husband to show his patience in GOD/spirituality instead of being in hurry to reach SACHKHAND, or whatever, and that too if it is done after and only after having love for the family in particular and for society/humans in general. Else all spirituality is nothing but a futile exercise. One's inner progress is directly related to his outer progress. Unless one makes and displays outer progress through patience within family confirming love within family in particular and all around in the society, one can't dream of making any inner progress in spirituality.”

So for all purposes, one must have patience to confirm love for the family instead of being in hurry, even if such patience has to be displayed from one side alone.
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replied to:  mohanlal
Anonymous91
Replied to:  ...
I understand where your coming from but we've been patient long enough I think.
But the damage done is just so wrong.
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mohanlal
Replied to:  I understand where your coming from but we've been patient long...
Having got married on the 02/03/2013 after a 4yr relationship, it can't be taken as long time in terms of patience to claim love within family.

In fact, there is no time for patience to claim love within family whether such love is one sided or a two way traffic.

Anyhow, one is to be taken as the best judge for flow of events either way.
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replied to:  mohanlal
Anonymous91
Replied to:  Having got married on the 02/03/2013 after a 4yr relationship, it...
Having said that do keep in mind that we tried, we were honest and truthful to the family. How can parents speerate and destroy their own children's love. It's beyond evil and of all sins. The worst of Ll enemies wouldn't do that to someone.

Do u get me. I ask u, if u had a child would u come to an understanding or would u destroy their marriage because of ur own selfishness ?
If there were a laid reason not to do this marriage I get it but there wasn't just pure n utter selfishness. Why do u think such a women is suffering her Karmas by laying in a hospital bed not being able to move.

I am also a daughter of another mother it's such an evil things to do.
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replied to:  Anonymous91
Anonymous91
Replied to:  Having said that do keep in mind that we tried, we...
Why Wong anyone answer to what I've asked ?
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susingh
Replied to:  Why Wong anyone answer to what I've asked ?
It appears that one was not prepared to reconcile with the situation under any condition, leaving no scope to share views in this sacred matter, requiring review of the entire issue, more so when the marriage was held after knowing each other for four years and breaking of relation is being considered in so haste i.e. within only 7 days of marriage.

Else, one should not share any views by listening to one side of the story, more so when the marriage is reported to have been held without blessings of parents of either side and now final view is reported to have been taken on the basis of objection of the spouse's mother, which is reported to have been ignored few days earlier, despite her threats.
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replied to:  Anonymous91
samagam
Replied to:  We got married on the 02/03/2013 after a 4yr relationship. Neither...
What an unexpected accident. where r u now and what r u doing ? perhaps he will return back in ur life.
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