Your wife hasnt ditched you. she carries her own destiny with her. In her destiny it was the right time for her to get naam and so she got it. And Naam can never be taken, its always given by satguru with his mercy. And satguru knew what answers to all the questions. You never know when death can come to you.. so how can u guarantee her for her eternal life. Khuda na khaasta if something bad happens, then are u going to guarantee her for her salvation? You can try for urself and can apply for naamdaan. If satguru is pleased, u will get naamdaan. But there is nothing to blame your wife. You were alone when you came to this world and you will be alone when you will be leaving this world. So dont expect anything from anyone in this world. These are the kind of roles we are playing here. yeh sab 'GARZA DE RISHTE' hote hain. To initiate you need to wait for noone. Please accept your wife even if she has initiated. She hasnt done anything bad or unethical. Please support her.

For your reply, I just want to narrate a story to you.

Once a person, who was doing worship for long period got some powers from GOD. When he was sitting under a tree, suddenly a bird come on tree and done shit on that person. He just thought that the bird must die and bird died.
Then he realised that he has power and he can punish anyone. Later he went to home for bhiksha and requested for giving bhiksha, the lady inside home said, please wait i am coming. he waited for few time, but she did not came. He thought again that the lady must die, after some time lady come outside and given the bhiksha to him. That person was looking on her when she said that Brahman devta, I am not the bird, who will die when you desire. He was shocked and requested her that how she knows that.
She said that brahman devta, I am a pativarta wife, when you demanded for bhiksha, i was serving my husband and pray him like my god and for me my home is my temple, i perform my duties for my home and family and along with that I give my spare time for satsang and simran through which GOD has given me these powers.
So, although you have stated and also accepted by me that all these relations will no longer and we have come alone and will go alone and our life is like a movie where artist can not do by themselves but as advised by director, but it is always expected that all artist must do his role perfectly.
The relation between husband and wife is a relation of trust. She must share with him, her intention. Your views can not be accepted in any case.
If this will be the case then I accept that children will not take care of their parents as they will think that they will left them and husband and wife will not take care of themselves as they will also left them some day.
Accept that she has made fun of the relation of husband and wife and must accept her mistake.