Sourced

• Ah! Whither, whither shall I fly,
  A poor unhappy Maid;
  To hopeless Love and Misery
  By my own Heart betray’d?
  • Incognita: Or, Love and Duty Reconcil'd (1692).

• Careless she is with artful care,
  Affecting to seem unaffected.
  • "Amoret", line 7 (1710).

• Invention flags, his brain goes muddy,
  And black despair succeeds brown study.
  • "An Impossible Thing", line 105 (1720).

• Defer not till tomorrow to be wise,
  Tomorrow's sun to thee may never rise.
  • "Letter to Cobham", line 61. Compare: "Be wise to-day, 't is madness to defer", Edward Young, Night Thoughts, night i. line 390.

The Old Bachelor (1693)

• In my conscience I believe the baggage loves me, for she never speaks well of me herself, nor suffers any body else to rail at me.
  • Act I, scene iii.

• Hannibal was a very pretty fellow in those days.
  • Act II, scene 2.

• I find we are growing serious, and then we are in great danger of being dull.
  • Act II, scene vii.

• Eternity was in that moment.
  • Act IV, scene vii .

• If this be not love, it is madness, and then it is pardonable.
  • Act IV, scene x.

• Men are apt to offend ('tis true) where they find most goodness to forgive.
  • Act IV, scene xi.

• Thus grief still treads upon the heels of pleasure;
  Married in haste, we may repent at leisure.
  • Act V, scene viii. Compare: "Who wooed in haste, and means to wed at leisure", William Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew, Act iii, scene 2.

The Double Dealer (1694)

• It is the business of a comic poet to paint the vices and follies of human kind.
  • Epistle dedicatory.

• Retired to their tea and scandal, according to their ancient custom.
  • Act I, scene i.

• Though marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it leaves 'em still two fools.
  • Act II, scene iii.

• No mask like open truth to cover lies,
  As to go naked is the best disguise.
  • Act V, scene iv.

Love for Love (1695)

• Thou liar of the first magnitude.
  • Act II, scene ii.

• I warrant you, if he danced till doomsday, he thought I was to pay the piper.
  • Act II, scene ii.

• Ferdinand Mendez Pinto was but a type of thee, thou liar of the first magnitude.
  • Act II, scene v.

• I came up stairs into the world, for I was born in a cellar.
  • Act II, scene vii. Compare: "Born in a cellar, and living in a garret", Samuel Foote, The Author, act 2; "Born in the garret, in the kitchen bred", Lord Byron, A Sketch.

• O fie, miss, you must not kiss and tell.
  • Act II, scene x.

• I know that's a secret, for it's whispered every where.
  • Act III, scene iii.

• Women are like tricks by sleight of hand,
  Which, to admire, we should not understand.
  • Act IV, scene iii.

• Uncertainty and expectation are the joys of life. Security is an insipid thing.
  • Act IV, scene xx.

• 'Tis well enough for a servant to be bred at an University. But the education is a little too pedantic for a gentleman.
  • Act V, scene iii.

The Mourning Bride (1697)

• Musick has Charms to sooth a savage Breast,
  To soften Rocks, or bend a knotted Oak.
  I've read, that things inanimate have mov'd,
  And, as with living Souls, have been inform'd,
  By Magick Numbers and persuasive Sound.
  What then am I? Am I more senseless grown
  Than Trees, or Flint? O force of constant Woe!
  'Tis not in Harmony to calm my Griefs.
  Anselmo sleeps, and is at Peace; last Night
  The silent Tomb receiv'd the good Old King;
  He and his Sorrows now are safely lodg'd
  Within its cold, but hospitable Bosom.
  Why am not I at Peace?
  • Act I, scene i.
  • The first lines of this passage are often rendered in modern spelling as "Music has charms to soothe a savage breast", or misquoted as: "Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast."

• Vile and ingrate! too late thou shalt repent
  The base Injustice thou hast done my Love:
  Yes, thou shalt know, spite of thy past Distress,
  And all those Ills which thou so long hast mourn'd;
  Heav'n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn'd,
  Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn'd.
  • Act III, scene viii; often paraphrased: "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". Compare: "We shall find no fiend in hell can match the fury of a disappointed woman", Colley Cibber, Love's Last Shift, act iv.

• For blessings ever wait on virtuous deeds,
  And though a late, a sure reward succeeds.
  • Act V, scene 12.

The Way of the World (1700)

• They come together like the Coroner's Inquest, to sit upon the murdered reputations of the week.
  • Act I, scene i.

• Say what you will, tis better to be left than never to have been loved.
  • Act II, scene i. Compare: "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all", Alfred Tennysonhttp://www.theatredatabase.com/17th_century/william_congreve_002.html.

• Love's but a frailty of the mind,
  When 'tis not with ambition joined.
  • Act III, scene xii.

• If there's delight in love, 'tis when I see
  That heart which others bleed for, bleed for me.
  • Act III, scene xii.

• I nauseate walking; 'tis a country diversion, I loathe the country.
  • Act IV, scene v.

• Let us be very strange and well-bred:
  Let us be as strange as if we had been married a great while;
  And as well-bred as if we were not married at all.
  • Act IV, scene v.

• Thou art a retailer of phrases, and dost deal in remnants of remnants.
  • Act IV, scene ix.

• O, she is the antidote to desire.
  • Act IV, scene xiv.

Unsourced

• Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight.
  • More often attributed to Phyllis Diller.