The Label Maker
Encyclopedia
"The Label Maker" is the 98th episode of NBC
NBC
The National Broadcasting Company is an American commercial broadcasting television network and former radio network headquartered in the GE Building in New York City's Rockefeller Center with additional major offices near Los Angeles and in Chicago...

 sitcom Seinfeld
Seinfeld
Seinfeld is an American television sitcom that originally aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998, lasting nine seasons, and is now in syndication. It was created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, the latter starring as a fictionalized version of himself...

. This was the 12th episode for the 6th season. It aired on January 19, 1995.

Plot

Jerry
Jerry Seinfeld (character)
Jerome "Jerry" Seinfeld is the main protagonist of the American television sitcom Seinfeld . The straight man among his group of friends, this semi-fictionalized version of comedian Jerry Seinfeld was named after, co-created by, based on, and played by Seinfeld himself.The series revolves around...

 has two ticket
Ticket (admission)
A ticket is a voucher that indicates that one has paid for admission to an event or establishment such as a theatre, movie theater, amusement park, zoo, museum, concert, or other attraction, or permission to travel on a vehicle such as an airliner, train, bus, or boat, typically because one has...

s to the Super Bowl
Super Bowl XXIX
Super Bowl XXIX was an American football game played on January 29, 1995 at Joe Robbie Stadium in Miami, Florida to decide the National Football League champion following the 1994 regular season...

 (on Sunday) but he cannot attend due to "the Drakes'" wedding
Wedding
A wedding is the ceremony in which two people are united in marriage or a similar institution. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes...

 ("The Handicap Spot
The Handicap Spot
"The Handicap Spot" is the 22nd episode of the fourth season and the 62nd overall episode of Seinfeld. It aired on May 13, 1993.-Plot:The group travels to a mall in Lynbrook to buy a big-screen television as an engagement gift for their friend, "The Drake"...

"). Jerry gives the tickets to Dr. Tim Whatley ("The Mom & Pop Store
The Mom & Pop Store
"The Mom & Pop Store" is the 94th episode of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld. This was the 8th episode for the 6th season. It aired on November 17, 1994.-Plot:...

").
George
George Costanza
George Louis Costanza is a character in the American television sitcom Seinfeld , played by Jason Alexander. He has variously been described as a "short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man" , "Lord of the Idiots" , and as "the greatest sitcom character of all time"...

 has a new girlfriend, Bonnie, and he is eager to go to her apartment.
Elaine
Elaine Benes
Elaine Marie Benes is a fictional character on the American television sitcom Seinfeld , played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Elaine's best friend is her ex-boyfriend Jerry Seinfeld; she is also good friends with George Costanza and Cosmo Kramer...

 and Jerry suspect that Whatley is a "re-gifter
Regifting
Regifting or regiving is the act of taking a gift that has been received and giving it to somebody else, sometimes in the guise of a new gift. One example of a formalization of this activity are the white elephant gift exchanges, in which items can be regifted from year to year.In the USA,...

" after Jerry receives the same label maker
Label maker
Label maker can refer to the following:* modern electronic label printers* handheld embossers, see embossing tape...

 that Elaine gave Tim for Christmas.
Kramer
Cosmo Kramer
Cosmo Kramer, usually referred to as simply "Kramer", is a fictional character on the American television sitcom Seinfeld , played by Michael Richards...

 and Newman
Newman (Seinfeld)
Newman is a recurring character on the television show Seinfeld, played by Wayne Knight from 1991 until the show's finale in 1998.-Background:...

 play an extended game of Risk
Risk (game)
Risk is a strategic board game, produced by Parker Brothers . It was invented by French film director Albert Lamorisse and originally released in 1957 as La Conquête du Monde in France. Risk is a turn-based game for two to six players...

. They leave the board in neutral country ("like Switzerland
Switzerland
Switzerland name of one of the Swiss cantons. ; ; ; or ), in its full name the Swiss Confederation , is a federal republic consisting of 26 cantons, with Bern as the seat of the federal authorities. The country is situated in Western Europe,Or Central Europe depending on the definition....

") at Jerry's apartment
Apartment
An apartment or flat is a self-contained housing unit that occupies only part of a building...

.

George likes Bonnie's apartment, including a velvet
Velvet
Velvet is a type of woven tufted fabric in which the cut threads are evenly distributed,with a short dense pile, giving it a distinctive feel.The word 'velvety' is used as an adjective to mean -"smooth like velvet".-Composition:...

 couch.
However, George immediately becomes upset because Bonnie has a male roommate named Scott who looks just like him.
Kramer informs that the Drakes' wedding has been postponed because of the Super Bowl
Super Bowl XXIX
Super Bowl XXIX was an American football game played on January 29, 1995 at Joe Robbie Stadium in Miami, Florida to decide the National Football League champion following the 1994 regular season...

.
George suggests Jerry to "de-gift" Tim Whatley the tickets.
Newman stops by Jerry's apartment and tells him he will go to the Super Bowl with one of Whatley's tickets.

George inquires Bonnie regarding her behavior with Scott.
Elaine dates Whatley in order to find out whether or not he really re-gifted her label maker; she wants to get in his apartment.
Tim Whatley takes away Newman's ticket and gives it to Elaine.
Jerry and George suspect that, due to Elaine's behavior, Whatley invited her purely with the intent of seducing her.

George tries to wheedle Bonnie into getting Scott to move out, and is surprised when he succeeds, realizing with dismay that he is now the most responsible man in her life.
Newman and Cosmo Kramer continue their game in Jerry's apartment. As they play, Jerry looks out the window and notices that Kramer's car is being towed. Kramer runs out of the apartment and after the tow truck, taking the board with him; and Newman chases Kramer to make sure he doesn't cheat.

Upon learning that Elaine does not intend to have sex with him on the Super Bowl trip, Whatley breaks up with Elaine and gives her ticket back to Jerry.
Using Jerry's label maker to help Bonnie box up Scott's things, George discovers that all the things he liked about Bonnie's apartment, including the velvet couch and the television, belonged to Scott.

Taking their game to the subway, Kramer is confident in his victory over Newman, taunting him for having possession over the "weak" nation of Ukraine
Ukraine
Ukraine is a country in Eastern Europe. It has an area of 603,628 km², making it the second largest contiguous country on the European continent, after Russia...

. A Ukrainian man standing next to them hears Kramer, is offended, and smashes the board.

Elaine uncovers Whatley's secret: he regifted the label maker because it was defective: the label adhesive wasn't strong enough. Elaine, upset, tells him that she had given it to him to thank him for the dental work he had done on her, and they end up kissing passionately.
The labels on Scott's boxes peel off on the mail truck.

At the Super Bowl, Jerry finds himself sitting next to Newman instead of Whatley.
Newman mentions that some boxes without labels were rendered undeliverable and claimed by them ("Freebies").
Desperate to escape his relationship with Bonnie, George asks her if she is interested ménage à trois
Ménage à trois
Ménage à trois is a French term which originally described a domestic arrangement in which three people having sexual relations occupy the same household – the phrase literally translates as "household of three"...

 ("The Switch
The Switch
"The Switch" is the 97th episode of NBC sitcom Seinfeld. This was the 11th episode for the 6th season. It aired on January 5, 1995. This episode is notable for revealing Kramer's first name as Cosmo.-Plot:...

"), hoping that she will be disgusted and dump him. Instead, George immediately discovers that both she and Scott are interested.

Quotes

  • Kramer: We have to put the board in a neutral place where no one will tamper with it.
  • Jerry: So that's here?
  • Kramer: Yes, yes. You're like Switzerland.
  • Jerry (sounding like a child): I don't wanna be Switzerland
    Switzerland
    Switzerland name of one of the Swiss cantons. ; ; ; or ), in its full name the Swiss Confederation , is a federal republic consisting of 26 cantons, with Bern as the seat of the federal authorities. The country is situated in Western Europe,Or Central Europe depending on the definition....

    . (referencing "The Puffy Shirt
    The Puffy Shirt
    "The Puffy Shirt" is the second episode of the fifth season of the American NBC sitcom Seinfeld. It was the 66th episode and originally aired on September 23, 1993. Larry David, the creator of the show, cites this episode as one of his favorites in the series.-Plot:George is upset because he is...

    " and "The Mom and Pop Store"')


  • George: (after Jerry learns that the Drakes' wedding has been postponed, and he can use the Super Bowl tickets he had just given Whatley) So ask for the tickets back. He's gotta offer you some kinda grace period.
  • Jerry: (incredulous) Are you even vaguely familiar with the concept of giving?


  • George: I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.


  • George: Who goes to the Super Bowl with their mailman?
  • Jerry: Who goes anywhere with Newman?!
  • George: Well...he's merry.
  • Jerry: (contemplates a moment) He is merry, I'll give him that.


  • Newman: I'm a little disappointed, Jerry.
  • Jerry: You're not a little anything, Newman.


  • Jerry: (speaking about Tim Whatley) I don't trust this guy. I think he re-gifted, then he de-gifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.


  • Jerry: Hey! Isn't this Kramer's car? Hey, Cosmo! They're towing your car!
  • Kramer:(Kramer and Newman playing Risk) What? Hey! My Car! Aahhh! They're towing my car!
  • Newman: What are you doing?.
  • Kramer : I'm taking the board with me!
  • Newman: Hey!
  • Kramer:(Chasing after his car and being chased by Newman) My car! Hey! Wait a minute!


  • Jerry:(about Kramer and Newman) Oh, it's Risk. It's a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives.


  • Newman: Uh, I can't think! It's all this noise...
  • Kramer: Or is it because I've built a stronghold around Greenland, I've driven you out of Western Europe, and I've left you teetering on the brink of complete annihilation?
  • Newman: I'm not beaten yet! I still have armies in the Ukraine.
  • Kramer: (chuckling) The Ukraine? You know what the Ukraine is, it's a sitting duck. A road apple, Newman. The Ukraine is weak. It's feeble. I think it's time to put the hurt on the Ukraine...
  • Ukrainian passenger: I come from Ukraine; you not say Ukraine weak!
  • Kramer: Yeah, well, we're playing a game here, pal.
  • Ukrainian passenger: Ukraine is game to you?! How 'bout I take your little board and smash it?! (slams fist on board, sending game tokens flying and terrifying Newman)
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