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Manners

Manners

Overview
In sociology
Sociology
Sociology is the study of society. It is a social science—a term with which it is sometimes synonymous—which uses various methods of empirical investigation and critical analysis to develop a body of knowledge about human social activity...

, manners are the unenforced standards of conduct
Conduct
Conduct may refer to:*Behavior**a personal behavior, a way of acting and showing one's behaviour**using hand gestures to direct*Action , in relation to moral or ethical precepts*Conducting a musical ensemble...

 which demonstrate that a person is proper, polite
Politeness
Politeness is best expressed as the practical application of good manners or etiquette. It is a culturally-defined phenomenon, and therefore what is considered polite in one culture can sometimes be quite rude or simply eccentric in another cultural context....

, and refined. They are like law
Law
Law is a system of rules and guidelines which are enforced through social institutions to govern behavior, wherever possible. It shapes politics, economics and society in numerous ways and serves as a social mediator of relations between people. Contract law regulates everything from buying a bus...

s in that they codify or set a standard for human behavior, but they are unlike laws in that there is no formal system for punishing transgressions, the main informal "punishment" being social disapproval. They are a kind of norm
Norm (sociology)
Social norms are the accepted behaviors within a society or group. This sociological and social psychological term has been defined as "the rules that a group uses for appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. These rules may be explicit or implicit...

. What is considered "mannerly" is highly susceptible to change with time, geographical location, social stratum, occasion, and other factors. That manners matter is evidenced by the fact that large books have been written on the subject, advice column
Advice column
An advice column is a column in a magazine or newspaper written by an advice columnist . The image presented was originally of an older woman providing comforting advice and maternal wisdom, hence the name "aunt"...

s frequently deal with questions of mannerly behavior, and that schools have existed for the sole purpose of teaching manners. A lady
Lady
The word lady is a polite term for a woman, specifically the female equivalent to, or spouse of, a lord or gentleman, and in many contexts a term for any adult woman...

 is a term frequently used for a woman who follows proper manners; the term gentleman
Gentleman
The term gentleman , in its original and strict signification, denoted a well-educated man of good family and distinction, analogous to the Latin generosus...

 is used as a male counterpart; though these terms are also often used for members of a particular social class
Social class
Social classes are economic or cultural arrangements of groups in society. Class is an essential object of analysis for sociologists, political scientists, economists, anthropologists and social historians. In the social sciences, social class is often discussed in terms of 'social stratification'...

.
Discussion
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Quotations

Etiquette...means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.

Will Cuppy, How to Be a Hermit, 1929

Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, Letters and Social Aims

Life is not so short but that there is always time enough for courtesy.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, Letters and Social Aims

Politeness is the art of choosing among one's real thoughts.

Abel Stevens, Life of Mme. de Sta

Be not deceived: Evil communications corrupt good manners.

All Politeness is owing to Liberty. We polish one another, and rub off our Corners and rough Sides by a sort of amicable Collision. To restrain this, is inevitably to bring a Rust upon Mens Understandings.

Anthony Ashley-Cooper, 3rd Earl of Shaftesbury, Characteristicks of Men, Manners, Opinions, Times (1711), "Sensus Communis"
Encyclopedia
In sociology
Sociology
Sociology is the study of society. It is a social science—a term with which it is sometimes synonymous—which uses various methods of empirical investigation and critical analysis to develop a body of knowledge about human social activity...

, manners are the unenforced standards of conduct
Conduct
Conduct may refer to:*Behavior**a personal behavior, a way of acting and showing one's behaviour**using hand gestures to direct*Action , in relation to moral or ethical precepts*Conducting a musical ensemble...

 which demonstrate that a person is proper, polite
Politeness
Politeness is best expressed as the practical application of good manners or etiquette. It is a culturally-defined phenomenon, and therefore what is considered polite in one culture can sometimes be quite rude or simply eccentric in another cultural context....

, and refined. They are like law
Law
Law is a system of rules and guidelines which are enforced through social institutions to govern behavior, wherever possible. It shapes politics, economics and society in numerous ways and serves as a social mediator of relations between people. Contract law regulates everything from buying a bus...

s in that they codify or set a standard for human behavior, but they are unlike laws in that there is no formal system for punishing transgressions, the main informal "punishment" being social disapproval. They are a kind of norm
Norm (sociology)
Social norms are the accepted behaviors within a society or group. This sociological and social psychological term has been defined as "the rules that a group uses for appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. These rules may be explicit or implicit...

. What is considered "mannerly" is highly susceptible to change with time, geographical location, social stratum, occasion, and other factors. That manners matter is evidenced by the fact that large books have been written on the subject, advice column
Advice column
An advice column is a column in a magazine or newspaper written by an advice columnist . The image presented was originally of an older woman providing comforting advice and maternal wisdom, hence the name "aunt"...

s frequently deal with questions of mannerly behavior, and that schools have existed for the sole purpose of teaching manners. A lady
Lady
The word lady is a polite term for a woman, specifically the female equivalent to, or spouse of, a lord or gentleman, and in many contexts a term for any adult woman...

 is a term frequently used for a woman who follows proper manners; the term gentleman
Gentleman
The term gentleman , in its original and strict signification, denoted a well-educated man of good family and distinction, analogous to the Latin generosus...

 is used as a male counterpart; though these terms are also often used for members of a particular social class
Social class
Social classes are economic or cultural arrangements of groups in society. Class is an essential object of analysis for sociologists, political scientists, economists, anthropologists and social historians. In the social sciences, social class is often discussed in terms of 'social stratification'...

.

See also

  • Social graces
    Social graces
    Social graces are skills used to interact politely in social situations. They include manners, etiquette , deportment and fashion. These skills were once taught to young women at a finishing school or charm school...

  • Table manners
    Table manners
    Table manners are the rules of etiquette used while eating, which may also include the appropriate use of utensils. Different cultures observe different rules for table manners...

  • Intercultural competence
    Intercultural competence
    Intercultural competence is the ability of successful communication with people of other cultures.A person who is interculturally competent captures and understands, in interaction with people from foreign cultures, their specific concepts in perception, thinking, feeling and acting...

  • Dharma
    Dharma
    Dharma means Law or Natural Law and is a concept of central importance in Indian philosophy and religion. In the context of Hinduism, it refers to one's personal obligations, calling and duties, and a Hindu's dharma is affected by the person's age, caste, class, occupation, and gender...

  • Ethics
    Ethics
    Ethics, also known as moral philosophy, is a branch of philosophy that addresses questions about morality—that is, concepts such as good and evil, right and wrong, virtue and vice, justice and crime, etc.Major branches of ethics include:...

  • Etiquette
    Etiquette
    Etiquette is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group...

  • Morality
    Morality
    Morality is the differentiation among intentions, decisions, and actions between those that are good and bad . A moral code is a system of morality and a moral is any one practice or teaching within a moral code...

  • Politeness
    Politeness
    Politeness is best expressed as the practical application of good manners or etiquette. It is a culturally-defined phenomenon, and therefore what is considered polite in one culture can sometimes be quite rude or simply eccentric in another cultural context....

  • Social role
  • Social class
    Social class
    Social classes are economic or cultural arrangements of groups in society. Class is an essential object of analysis for sociologists, political scientists, economists, anthropologists and social historians. In the social sciences, social class is often discussed in terms of 'social stratification'...

  • Taboo
    Taboo
    A taboo is a strong social prohibition relating to any area of human activity or social custom that is sacred and or forbidden based on moral judgment, religious beliefs and or scientific consensus. Breaking the taboo is usually considered objectionable or abhorrent by society...

  • Karma
    Karma
    Karma in Indian religions is the concept of "action" or "deed", understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect originating in ancient India and treated in Hindu, Jain, Buddhist and Sikh philosophies....

  • The Golden Rule

Further reading

  • New Manners for New Times: A Complete Guide to Etiquette, by Letitia Baldrige
    Letitia Baldrige
    Letitia Baldrige is an American etiquette expert and public relations executive.A graduate of Vassar College, she is a former State Department employee and was the White House Social Secretary to Jacqueline Kennedy....

    , New York: Scribner, 2003, ISBN 0-7432-1062-X, 709 pages.
  • Manners from Heaven: A Divine Guide to Good Behaviour, by Quentin Crisp, HarperCollins Publishers (June 13, 1985), ISBN 0-00-654133-X, 138 pages.
  • Town & Country Modern Manners: The Thinking Person's Guide to Social Graces, edited by Thomas P. Farley, Hearst Books (September 2005), ISBN 1-58816-454-3, 256 pages.
  • Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, by Judith Martin, W. W. Norton & Company; Updated edition (April 20, 2005), ISBN 0-393-05874-3, 864 pages.
  • Emily Post's Etiquette, by Peggy Post, HarperResource; 17th Indxd edition (November 1, 2004), ISBN 0-06-620957-9, 896 pages. Available online at Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home.