Lesbian Vampire Killers
Encyclopedia
Lesbian Vampire Killers is a 2009 British
comedy horror
film written by Stewart Williams and Paul Hupfield, produced by Steve Clark-Hall and directed by Phil Claydon.
) and Fletch (James Corden
) are two friends living in London
experiencing life problems. Jimmy is dumped by his girlfriend and Fletch is fired from his job as a clown. They decide to escape their woes and hike to a remote village in Norfolk
they find on an old map. As they arrive at a pub in the village, with Jimmy upset about Fletch destroying his phone, they see a number of attractive foreign female history students leaving.
Hoping to find more beautiful women inside, they are greeted by a morose crowd of men and approached by a seemingly crazed vicar
(Paul McGann
) who believes Jimmy is a long lost descendant of a local vampire slayer. As the barman offers the two men free ale as an apology for the vicar, they learn the students they saw earlier are going to a cottage - where they are to stay the night. Jimmy and Fletch pursue the students' bus, catching up to it as the engine has broken down, and are introduced to four girls (Heidi, Lotte, Anke and Trudi). They are invited to join a party on the bus.
The group arrives at their destination, only to learn that a curse rests over the village and that every female child turns into a lesbian vampire
on her eighteenth birthday. There is an old legend stating that the Vampire Queen, Carmilla, descended on the village, killed its menfolk and seduced its women to her evil. When the ruler of the land, Baron Wolfgang Mclaren (Jimmy's great ancestor) returned from the Crusades, he discovered one of the women corrupted by Carmilla was his wife, Eva. The baron forged a sacred sword, then defeated Carmilla, but before dying, Carmilla cursed the village, adding that when the blood of the last of Mclaren's bloodline mixed with a virgin girl's blood, Carmilla would be resurrected.
Fletch and Jimmy spend the night with the women. Heidi, Anke and Trudi are turned into vampires. After Lotte insists that the others try to find her missing friends, they witness Trudi being turned. Eva, Carmilla's mistress, tries to draw Lotte to her growing clan of lesbian vampires. The trio runs back into the cottage after killing vampires Heidi and Anke and barricade themselves in after the vampires destroy the bus. Jimmy's ex-girlfriend Judi arrives at the door and Jimmy, not ready to give up on the relationship, takes her into the bedroom. Lotte reveals to Fletch that she is a virgin and wants to sleep with Jimmy.
At the church, the Vicar researches the vampire slayer who killed Carmilla before arming himself and setting off to find Jimmy. Judi reveals herself to be a vampire, and after a struggle, Fletch and Jimmy kill her. The vampires approach the cottage and Jimmy inadvertently invites them in. Eva discovers that Jimmy is the descendant of the baron who killed Carmilla and that Lotte is a virgin and kidnaps them.
The Vicar saves Fletch from Trudi and tells Fletch the truth about the village and Jimmy's identity. They go after Jimmy and Lotte in the Vicar's crucifix-covered car. As the vampires prepare to sacrifice Lotte and Jimmy, Fletch and the Vicar try to recover the sword of Daeldo, the sword that killed Carmilla, from the baron's tomb. While Fletch works to open the tomb, the Vicar checks on his daughter Rebecca, but does not notice that she has been turned. Rebecca attempts to seduce Fletch, who does not know what she is. When she attacks him, she is inadvertently impaled on the sword. Fletch decides not to tell the Vicar of his daughter's death.
At Carmilla's tomb, Lotte reveals her love for Jimmy. The vampires begin draining the two of their blood to resurrect Carmilla. With the sword, Fletch and the Vicar drive to Carmilla's tomb. When they enter the woods, they bring various weapons, but forget the sword. Despite not having the sword, the pair reach Jimmy and Lotte. The Vicar releases them, but not before enough blood gathers to resurrect Carmilla. The Vicar sacrifices himself so the others can get back to the car and the sword. Eva separates Lotte from the men, attacking and seducing her. Lotte fights back while Fletch and Jimmy fetch weapons. Lotte kills Eva with her cross necklace, infuriating Carmilla. Fletch tries to kill Carmilla before Lotte is turned, but is captured himself. Jimmy saves them by hurling the sword at Carmilla, piercing her heart and destroying her for good. With the curse lifted, the three survivors decide to continue ridding the world of evil.
The film ends with the shot of a "Gay Werewolf
" howling before the full moon.
, were challenged to come up with the most commercial film project and title ever to pitch as a £50k direct-to-DVD
project, starring Williams and to be directed by Hupfield.
After several years in development hell
, the project was picked up by director Phil Claydon. Claydon describes the film as influenced by Ghostbusters
with a mix of Hammer Horror and Universal's monster movies. Referring to the special effects used in the film he said "I covered James in vampire gunk at every opportunity because that made me laugh", since the Vampires turn into slime rather than dust or bursting into flames like other vampire stories.
, based around the village of Cranwich
which is portrayed in the film as Cragwich, but was filmed outside London on location at Luton Hoo
and in Three Mills
film studios in Bromley-by-Bow
.
The film is a tongue-in-cheek
homage to the classic Hammer Horror films and was originally slated to be the first "new" Hammer film. This did not come to pass and it was ultimately Alliance and Momentum Pictures along with AV Films who finally greenlit the project.
with an average score of 4/10. James Christopher of The Times
described Lesbian Vampire Killers as "profoundly awful" stating it is an "instantly forgettable lads' mag farce" and claimed the film was an "appalling waste of a perfectly decent title". Allan Hunter of the Daily Express
called it "badly written and hastily executed" and "takes all the easy options of bad taste, bosoms and body fluids". Anthony Quin writing in The Independent
gave the film 1 star out of 5, describing it as woeful and stating that Horne and Corden had "overstretched their appeal" and looked "in danger" of becoming today's Hale and Pace
. Peter Bradshaw
of The Guardian
described the film as "mostly pretty awful, but there are one or two crass laughs."
The Sun
, however, gave it a positive review; Sun reviewer The Sneak gave Lesbian Vampire Killers (LVK) a rating of 3 out of 5 saying "other reviewers will undoubtedly say that LVK is another British comic flop but The Sneak won't be driving that stake into its heart." Similarly, Nicholas Yanes of Scifipulse.net found Lesbian Vampire Killers to be a great "B Movie
" worth becoming a cult classic.
Whilst on the comedy panel show "The King is Dead" in September 2010, star James Corden commented that watching the film would be too harsh a punishment for prisoners being held at Guantanamo Bay and that it was "a pile of shit."
Momentum pictures claim retailers - including supermarket chain Tesco
- demanded warning stickers be placed over the word "Lesbian". A spokesperson from Tesco said that although they did ask for a cover with less cleavage, they "did not suggest that they [Momentum] amend the wording".
In the USA, the movie was released as Vampire Killers on 29 December 2009.
As part of its 12 Days Of Christmas free giveaway, iTunes
made the film available to download for 24 hours on New Year's Eve 2009.
United Kingdom
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern IrelandIn the United Kingdom and Dependencies, other languages have been officially recognised as legitimate autochthonous languages under the European Charter for Regional or Minority Languages...
comedy horror
Comedy horror
Comedy horror, also known as horror comedy, is a literary and film genre, combining elements of comedy and horror fiction. The comedy horror genre almost always inevitably crosses over with the black comedy genre; and in some respects could be considered a subset of it.The short story "The Legend...
film written by Stewart Williams and Paul Hupfield, produced by Steve Clark-Hall and directed by Phil Claydon.
Plot
Jimmy (Mathew HorneMathew Horne
Mathew Frazer Horne is an English actor, stand-up comedian, television presenter and narrator best known for appearing on several BBC sketch shows and sitcoms, most notably Gavin & Stacey portraying Gavin Shipman, The Catherine Tate Show, Teachers and Horne and Corden.-Early life:Horne was born...
) and Fletch (James Corden
James Corden
James Kimberley Corden is an English actor, television writer, producer and presenter. He is co-creator and star of BBC comedy shows Gavin & Stacey and Horne & Corden, and acted in the 2009 film Lesbian Vampire Killers....
) are two friends living in London
London
London is the capital city of :England and the :United Kingdom, the largest metropolitan area in the United Kingdom, and the largest urban zone in the European Union by most measures. Located on the River Thames, London has been a major settlement for two millennia, its history going back to its...
experiencing life problems. Jimmy is dumped by his girlfriend and Fletch is fired from his job as a clown. They decide to escape their woes and hike to a remote village in Norfolk
Norfolk
Norfolk is a low-lying county in the East of England. It has borders with Lincolnshire to the west, Cambridgeshire to the west and southwest and Suffolk to the south. Its northern and eastern boundaries are the North Sea coast and to the north-west the county is bordered by The Wash. The county...
they find on an old map. As they arrive at a pub in the village, with Jimmy upset about Fletch destroying his phone, they see a number of attractive foreign female history students leaving.
Hoping to find more beautiful women inside, they are greeted by a morose crowd of men and approached by a seemingly crazed vicar
Vicar
In the broadest sense, a vicar is a representative, deputy or substitute; anyone acting "in the person of" or agent for a superior . In this sense, the title is comparable to lieutenant...
(Paul McGann
Paul McGann
Paul McGann is an English actor who made his name on the BBC serial The Monocled Mutineer, in which he played the lead role...
) who believes Jimmy is a long lost descendant of a local vampire slayer. As the barman offers the two men free ale as an apology for the vicar, they learn the students they saw earlier are going to a cottage - where they are to stay the night. Jimmy and Fletch pursue the students' bus, catching up to it as the engine has broken down, and are introduced to four girls (Heidi, Lotte, Anke and Trudi). They are invited to join a party on the bus.
The group arrives at their destination, only to learn that a curse rests over the village and that every female child turns into a lesbian vampire
Lesbian vampire
Lesbian vampirism is a trope in 20th century exploitation film that has its roots in Joseph Sheridan le Fanu's novella Carmilla about the predatory love of a female vampire for a young woman :...
on her eighteenth birthday. There is an old legend stating that the Vampire Queen, Carmilla, descended on the village, killed its menfolk and seduced its women to her evil. When the ruler of the land, Baron Wolfgang Mclaren (Jimmy's great ancestor) returned from the Crusades, he discovered one of the women corrupted by Carmilla was his wife, Eva. The baron forged a sacred sword, then defeated Carmilla, but before dying, Carmilla cursed the village, adding that when the blood of the last of Mclaren's bloodline mixed with a virgin girl's blood, Carmilla would be resurrected.
Fletch and Jimmy spend the night with the women. Heidi, Anke and Trudi are turned into vampires. After Lotte insists that the others try to find her missing friends, they witness Trudi being turned. Eva, Carmilla's mistress, tries to draw Lotte to her growing clan of lesbian vampires. The trio runs back into the cottage after killing vampires Heidi and Anke and barricade themselves in after the vampires destroy the bus. Jimmy's ex-girlfriend Judi arrives at the door and Jimmy, not ready to give up on the relationship, takes her into the bedroom. Lotte reveals to Fletch that she is a virgin and wants to sleep with Jimmy.
At the church, the Vicar researches the vampire slayer who killed Carmilla before arming himself and setting off to find Jimmy. Judi reveals herself to be a vampire, and after a struggle, Fletch and Jimmy kill her. The vampires approach the cottage and Jimmy inadvertently invites them in. Eva discovers that Jimmy is the descendant of the baron who killed Carmilla and that Lotte is a virgin and kidnaps them.
The Vicar saves Fletch from Trudi and tells Fletch the truth about the village and Jimmy's identity. They go after Jimmy and Lotte in the Vicar's crucifix-covered car. As the vampires prepare to sacrifice Lotte and Jimmy, Fletch and the Vicar try to recover the sword of Daeldo, the sword that killed Carmilla, from the baron's tomb. While Fletch works to open the tomb, the Vicar checks on his daughter Rebecca, but does not notice that she has been turned. Rebecca attempts to seduce Fletch, who does not know what she is. When she attacks him, she is inadvertently impaled on the sword. Fletch decides not to tell the Vicar of his daughter's death.
At Carmilla's tomb, Lotte reveals her love for Jimmy. The vampires begin draining the two of their blood to resurrect Carmilla. With the sword, Fletch and the Vicar drive to Carmilla's tomb. When they enter the woods, they bring various weapons, but forget the sword. Despite not having the sword, the pair reach Jimmy and Lotte. The Vicar releases them, but not before enough blood gathers to resurrect Carmilla. The Vicar sacrifices himself so the others can get back to the car and the sword. Eva separates Lotte from the men, attacking and seducing her. Lotte fights back while Fletch and Jimmy fetch weapons. Lotte kills Eva with her cross necklace, infuriating Carmilla. Fletch tries to kill Carmilla before Lotte is turned, but is captured himself. Jimmy saves them by hurling the sword at Carmilla, piercing her heart and destroying her for good. With the curse lifted, the three survivors decide to continue ridding the world of evil.
The film ends with the shot of a "Gay Werewolf
Werewolf
A werewolf, also known as a lycanthrope , is a mythological or folkloric human with the ability to shapeshift into a wolf or an anthropomorphic wolf-like creature, either purposely or after being placed under a curse...
" howling before the full moon.
Cast
- James CordenJames CordenJames Kimberley Corden is an English actor, television writer, producer and presenter. He is co-creator and star of BBC comedy shows Gavin & Stacey and Horne & Corden, and acted in the 2009 film Lesbian Vampire Killers....
as Fletch - Mathew HorneMathew HorneMathew Frazer Horne is an English actor, stand-up comedian, television presenter and narrator best known for appearing on several BBC sketch shows and sitcoms, most notably Gavin & Stacey portraying Gavin Shipman, The Catherine Tate Show, Teachers and Horne and Corden.-Early life:Horne was born...
as Jimmy - Paul McGannPaul McGannPaul McGann is an English actor who made his name on the BBC serial The Monocled Mutineer, in which he played the lead role...
as The Vicar - Emer KennyEmer KennyEmer Gwynne Morganna Kenny is an English actress from Haringey, London, best known for her role in the BBC soap opera EastEnders and its online spin-off EastEnders: E20, as Zsa Zsa Carter.-Career:...
as Rebecca (The Vicar's Daughter) - Lucy GaskellLucy GaskellLucy Gaskell is an English actress. She studied at the Royal Welsh College of Music & Drama in 1998.Gaskell is known for the roles of Ruby Ferris in the BBC1 drama series Cutting It and Kirsty Clements in Casualty...
as Judi - Louise Dylan as Anke
- Ashley MulheronAshley MulheronAshley Mulheron is a Scottish actress and television presenter.Mulheron trained as an actress on the 1 year course at Central School of Speech and Drama in London....
as Trudi - Tiffany MulheronTiffany Mulheron- Films:-Television:-External links:...
as Heidi - Vera FilatovaVera FilatovaVera Filatova is a Ukrainian-born British actress. She trained at the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art.Since graduating her theatre and film work includes:...
as Eva (Carmilla's mistress and the Baron's wife) - Silvia CollocaSilvia CollocaSilvia Colloca is an Italian actress.Colloca was born in Milan to Loredana and Mario Colloca. Her first major film role was in Van Helsing, in which she played Verona, one of Dracula's brides. In September 2004, she married the Australian actor who played Dracula in that film, Richard Roxburgh...
as CarmillaCarmillaCarmilla is a Gothic novella by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu. First published in 1872, it tells the story of a young woman's susceptibility to the attentions of a female vampire named Carmilla...
the Vampire Queen - MyAnna BuringMyAnna BuringMyAnna Buring is a Swedish actress best known for appearing in the 2005 horror film The Descent.- Early life :Buring was born in Sweden but grew up in the Middle East...
as Lotte - Emma Clifford as Ms. Rossi
- Margarita Hall as (Daughter of darkness)
Background
The writers, who at the time were both working in the comedy development team at MTVMTV
MTV, formerly an initialism of Music Television, is an American network based in New York City that launched on August 1, 1981. The original purpose of the channel was to play music videos guided by on-air hosts known as VJs....
, were challenged to come up with the most commercial film project and title ever to pitch as a £50k direct-to-DVD
Direct-to-video
Direct-to-video is a term used to describe a film that has been released to the public on home video formats without being released in film theaters or broadcast on television...
project, starring Williams and to be directed by Hupfield.
After several years in development hell
Development hell
In the jargon of the media-industry, "development hell" is a period during which a film or other project is trapped in development...
, the project was picked up by director Phil Claydon. Claydon describes the film as influenced by Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters is a 1984 American science fiction comedy film directed by Ivan Reitman and written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis. The film stars Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Harold Ramis, and Rick Moranis and follows three eccentric parapsychologists in New York City, who start a...
with a mix of Hammer Horror and Universal's monster movies. Referring to the special effects used in the film he said "I covered James in vampire gunk at every opportunity because that made me laugh", since the Vampires turn into slime rather than dust or bursting into flames like other vampire stories.
Location
It is set in NorfolkNorfolk
Norfolk is a low-lying county in the East of England. It has borders with Lincolnshire to the west, Cambridgeshire to the west and southwest and Suffolk to the south. Its northern and eastern boundaries are the North Sea coast and to the north-west the county is bordered by The Wash. The county...
, based around the village of Cranwich
Cranwich
Cranwich is a village and civil parish in the English county of Norfolk, about 2 miles north west of Mundford.It covers an area of and had a population of 60 in 24 households as of the 2001 census...
which is portrayed in the film as Cragwich, but was filmed outside London on location at Luton Hoo
Luton Hoo
Luton Hoo straddles the Hertfordshire and Bedfordshire borders between the towns of Harpenden and Luton. The unusual name "Hoo" is a Saxon word meaning the spur of a hill, and is more commonly associated with East Anglia.- Early History :...
and in Three Mills
Three Mills
The Three Mills are former working mills on the River Lea in the East End of London, one of London’s oldest extant industrial centres. The largest and most powerful of the four remaining tidal mills is possibly the largest tidal mill in the world...
film studios in Bromley-by-Bow
Bromley-by-Bow
Bromley-by-Bow, historically and officially Bromley, is a place in the London Borough of Tower Hamlets. It is an inner-city district situated east north-east of Charing Cross.-Toponymy:...
.
The film is a tongue-in-cheek
Tongue-in-cheek
Tongue-in-cheek is a phrase used as a figure of speech to imply that a statement or other production is humorously intended and it should not be taken at face value. The facial expression typically indicates that one is joking or making a mental effort. In the past, it may also have indicated...
homage to the classic Hammer Horror films and was originally slated to be the first "new" Hammer film. This did not come to pass and it was ultimately Alliance and Momentum Pictures along with AV Films who finally greenlit the project.
Critical reception
Reviews of the film were largely negative. It holds a 29% approval rating on review aggregator Rotten TomatoesRotten Tomatoes
Rotten Tomatoes is a website devoted to reviews, information, and news of films—widely known as a film review aggregator. Its name derives from the cliché of audiences throwing tomatoes and other vegetables at a poor stage performance...
with an average score of 4/10. James Christopher of The Times
The Times
The Times is a British daily national newspaper, first published in London in 1785 under the title The Daily Universal Register . The Times and its sister paper The Sunday Times are published by Times Newspapers Limited, a subsidiary since 1981 of News International...
described Lesbian Vampire Killers as "profoundly awful" stating it is an "instantly forgettable lads' mag farce" and claimed the film was an "appalling waste of a perfectly decent title". Allan Hunter of the Daily Express
Daily Express
The Daily Express switched from broadsheet to tabloid in 1977 and was bought by the construction company Trafalgar House in the same year. Its publishing company, Beaverbrook Newspapers, was renamed Express Newspapers...
called it "badly written and hastily executed" and "takes all the easy options of bad taste, bosoms and body fluids". Anthony Quin writing in The Independent
The Independent
The Independent is a British national morning newspaper published in London by Independent Print Limited, owned by Alexander Lebedev since 2010. It is nicknamed the Indy, while the Sunday edition, The Independent on Sunday, is the Sindy. Launched in 1986, it is one of the youngest UK national daily...
gave the film 1 star out of 5, describing it as woeful and stating that Horne and Corden had "overstretched their appeal" and looked "in danger" of becoming today's Hale and Pace
Hale and Pace
Hale and Pace are an English comedy duo who have starred in several TV sketch series.-Early career:Gareth Hale and Norman Pace met at Avery Hill teacher training college in Eltham South East London. They discovered much in common, particularly humour, and began playing clubs in a comedy band. One...
. Peter Bradshaw
Peter Bradshaw
Peter Bradshaw is a British writer and film critic. He was educated at Cambridge University, where he was President of Footlights.Bradshaw is a film critic for The Guardian...
of The Guardian
The Guardian
The Guardian, formerly known as The Manchester Guardian , is a British national daily newspaper in the Berliner format...
described the film as "mostly pretty awful, but there are one or two crass laughs."
The Sun
The Sun (newspaper)
The Sun is a daily national tabloid newspaper published in the United Kingdom and owned by News Corporation. Sister editions are published in Glasgow and Dublin...
, however, gave it a positive review; Sun reviewer The Sneak gave Lesbian Vampire Killers (LVK) a rating of 3 out of 5 saying "other reviewers will undoubtedly say that LVK is another British comic flop but The Sneak won't be driving that stake into its heart." Similarly, Nicholas Yanes of Scifipulse.net found Lesbian Vampire Killers to be a great "B Movie
B movie
A B movie is a low-budget commercial motion picture that is not definitively an arthouse or pornographic film. In its original usage, during the Golden Age of Hollywood, the term more precisely identified a film intended for distribution as the less-publicized, bottom half of a double feature....
" worth becoming a cult classic.
Whilst on the comedy panel show "The King is Dead" in September 2010, star James Corden commented that watching the film would be too harsh a punishment for prisoners being held at Guantanamo Bay and that it was "a pile of shit."
Release
Lesbian Vampire Killers was released on DVD and Blu-ray 3 August 2009.Momentum pictures claim retailers - including supermarket chain Tesco
Tesco
Tesco plc is a global grocery and general merchandise retailer headquartered in Cheshunt, United Kingdom. It is the third-largest retailer in the world measured by revenues and the second-largest measured by profits...
- demanded warning stickers be placed over the word "Lesbian". A spokesperson from Tesco said that although they did ask for a cover with less cleavage, they "did not suggest that they [Momentum] amend the wording".
In the USA, the movie was released as Vampire Killers on 29 December 2009.
As part of its 12 Days Of Christmas free giveaway, iTunes
ITunes
iTunes is a media player computer program, used for playing, downloading, and organizing digital music and video files on desktop computers. It can also manage contents on iPod, iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad....
made the film available to download for 24 hours on New Year's Eve 2009.