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Infidelity can be defined as any violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of a relationship, and is a breach of faith in an interpersonal relationship.
Sexual infidelity in marriage is called adultery, philandery or an affair and in other interpersonal relationships it may be called cheating. A man whose wife has committed adultery is referred to as a cuckold, but no equivalent word exists for a woman whose partner has cheated.
Infidelity is not inherently sexual in nature.
What constitutes an act of infidelity varies between and within cultures and depends also on the type of relationship that exists between people.
Discussion
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Quotations
No one is so much alone in the universe as a denier of God.
There is but one thing without honor, smitten with eternal barrenness, inability to do or to be,—insincerity, unbelief.
When once infidelity can persuade men that they shall die like beasts, they will soon be brought to live like beasts also.
A sceptical young man one day conversing with the celebrated Dr. Parr, observed that he would believe nothing which he could not understand. Then, young man, your creed will be the shortest of any mans I know.
Mere negation, mere Epicurean infidelity, as Lord Bacon most justly observes, has never disturbed the peace of the world. It furnishes no motive for action; it inspires no enthusiasm; it has no missionaries, no crusades, no martyrs.
Encyclopedia
Infidelity can be defined as any violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of a relationship, and is a breach of faith in an interpersonal relationship.
Sexual infidelity in marriage is called adultery, philandery or an affair and in other interpersonal relationships it may be called cheating. A man whose wife has committed adultery is referred to as a cuckold, but no equivalent word exists for a woman whose partner has cheated.
Infidelity is not inherently sexual in nature.
What constitutes an act of infidelity varies between and within cultures and depends also on the type of relationship that exists between people. Even within an open relationship, infidelity may arise if a partner to the relationship acts outside of the understood boundaries of the relationship. (See Blumstein.)
Incidence of infidelity
27% of people who reported being happy in marriage admitted to having an affair .
In a recent survey of 16,000 university students in 53 countries, 20% of long term relationships began when one or both partners were involved with someone else .
Some authorities (for example Frank Pittman in 'Grow Up' Golden Books) observe infidelity is involved in 90% of first time divorces. A 1997 study with Kristina Gordon found 'more than half of the marriages that experience infidelity ended in divorce'.
By contrast John Gottman with his 35 years of research into marriage, is reported as saying "Only 20 percent of divorces are caused by an affair. Most marriages die with a whimper, as people turn away from one another, slowly growing apart."
Fifty United Kingdom divorce lawyers were asked to name the most common causes of their cases in 2003. Of those who cited extramarital affairs, 55% said it was usually the husbands and 45% said that it was the wives who cheated.
Children can be witnesses to an affair and outcomes of an affair. Between 10-15% of children are conceived as a result of an affair. In 2003 more than 3,000 DNA paternity tests were commissioned by Australian men. In almost a quarter of those cases, the test revealed that 'their' child had been fathered by someone else. In 30% of paternity tests by the American Association of Blood Banks the father was not the true biological parent.
Infidelity that does not involve sex or conception may be referred to as a romantic friendship or an emotional affair. Some people consider virtual sex, which is an on-line relationship, as infidelity.
In some jurisdictions an extramarital affair may incur unexpected financial costs. In Australia, for example, affairs of two or more years duration can be deemed a de-facto relationship, exposing the married cheater to financial claims in the Family Court on their superannuation savings, income and property. A de-facto relationship may exist even when the partners do not think so. It is the Court that will define when it began and ended, based on the evidence.
Infidelity at work
An office romance, work romance, or corporate affair is a romance that occurs between two people who work together in the same office, work location, or business.
Adulterous office romances are widely considered to be unhelpful to business and work relationships, but while boss-subordinate relationships are banned in 90% of companies with written policies about office romance, companies cannot ban adultery. In all but a handful of states, such regulations would run afoul of laws prohibiting discrimination on the basis of marital status. Nonetheless, firings often occur on the basis of charges of inappropriate office conduct.
See also
Further reading
- Mathews, J. "Dating a Married Man: Memoirs from the "Other Women". 2008.ISBN 1440450048
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- at the University of Chicago
- Moultrup, David J. (1990). Husbands, Wives & Lovers . New York: Guilford Press.
- Glass, S. P., & Wright, T. L. (1992). Justifications for extramarital relationships: The association between attitudes, behaviors, and gender. Journal of Sex Research 29, 361-387.
- Pittman, F. (1989). Private Lies . New York: W. W. Norton Co.
- Rubin, A. M., & Adams, J. R. (1986). Outcomes of sexually open marriages. Journal of Sex Research, 22, 311-319.
- Vaughan, P. (1989). The Monogamy Myth. New York: New Market Press.
- Langley, Michelle (2005) Women's Infidelity. St. Louis: McCarlan Publishing
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- Adult attachment and patterns of extradyadic involvement Family Process, Dec 2004 by Elizabeth S. Allen, Donald H. Baucom
- Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, April 2004 by Gordon, Kristina Coop, Baucom, Donald H, Snyder, Douglas K
- Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, October 2004 by Ward, David B
- Managing Infidelity: A Cross-Cultural Perspective by Anne Buckmaster, William Jankowiak, M. Diane Nell; Ethnology, Vol. 41, PART 1, pages 85-100 2002
- by Jennifer Harley Chalmers, Ph.D.
- by Kimberly S. Young, Alvin Cooper, Eric Griffiths-Shelley, James O'Mara, and Jennifer Buchanan Paper Published in Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity, 7(10, 59-74, 2000
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