Etiquette is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for
social behaviorIn physics, physiology and sociology, social behavior is behavior directed towards society, or taking place between, members of the same species. Behavior such as predation which involves members of different species is not social...
according to contemporary
conventionalA convention is a set of agreed, stipulated or generally accepted standards, norms, social norms or criteria, often taking the form of a custom....
normsSocial norms are the accepted behaviors within a society or group. This sociological and social psychological term has been defined as "the rules that a group uses for appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. These rules may be explicit or implicit...
within a
societyA society, or a human society, is a group of people related to each other through persistent relations, or a large social grouping sharing the same geographical or virtual territory, subject to the same political authority and dominant cultural expectations...
,
social classSocial classes are economic or cultural arrangements of groups in society. Class is an essential object of analysis for sociologists, political scientists, economists, anthropologists and social historians. In the social sciences, social class is often discussed in terms of 'social stratification'...
, or
groupIn the social sciences a social group can be defined as two or more humans who interact with one another, share similar characteristics and collectively have a sense of unity...
. The French word étiquette, literally signifying a tag or label first appeared in English around 1750.
Usage
Like
cultureCulture is a term that has many different inter-related meanings. For example, in 1952, Alfred Kroeber and Clyde Kluckhohn compiled a list of 164 definitions of "culture" in Culture: A Critical Review of Concepts and Definitions...
, etiquette is a word that has gradually grown to become plural, especially in a multi-ethnic society with many clashing expectations. Thus, it is now possible to refer to "an etiquette" or "a culture", realizing that these may not be universal. In Britain, the word "etiquette" has been described as the one word that aptly describes life during
the reign of Queen VictoriaThe Victorian era of British history was the period of Queen Victoria's reign from 20 June 1837 until her death on 22 January 1901. It was a long period of peace, prosperity, refined sensibilities and national self-confidence...
.
Rules of etiquette
Rules of etiquette encompass most aspects of social interaction in any society, though the term itself is not commonly used. A rule of etiquette may reflect an underlying
ethical codeAn ethical code is adopted by an organization in an attempt to assist those in the organization called upon to make a decision understand the difference between 'right' and 'wrong' and to apply this understanding to their decision...
, or it may reflect a person's
fashionFashion, a general term for a currently popular style or practice, especially in clothing, foot wear, or accessories. Fashion references to anything that is the current trend in look and dress up of a person...
or
statusIn sociology or anthropology, social status is the honor or prestige attached to one's position in society . It may also refer to a rank or position that one holds in a group, for example son or daughter, playmate, pupil, etc....
. Rules of etiquette are usually unwritten, but aspects of etiquette have been codified from time to time.
Manners
Manners involve a wide range of social interactions within cultural norms as in the "
comedy of mannersThe comedy of manners is a genre of play/television/film which satirizes the manners and affectations of a social class, often represented by stock characters, such as the miles gloriosus in ancient times, the fop and the rake during the Restoration, or an old person pretending to be young...
", or a painter's characteristic "manner". Etiquette and manners, like
mythologyThe term mythology can refer either to the study of myths, or to a body or collection of myths. As examples, comparative mythology is the study of connections between myths from different cultures, whereas Greek mythology is the body of myths from ancient Greece...
, have buried histories especially when they seem to have little obvious purpose, and their justifications as logical ("respect shown to others" etc.) may be equally revealing to the social historian.
Western office and business etiquette
The etiquette of business is the set of written and unwritten rules of conduct that make social interactions run more smoothly. Office etiquette in particular applies to coworker interaction, excluding interactions with external contacts such as customers and suppliers. When conducting group meetings in the United States, the assembly might follow
Robert's Rules of OrderRobert's Rules of Order is the short title of a book containing rules of order intended to be adopted as a parliamentary authority for use by a deliberative assembly written by Brig. Gen...
, if there are no other company policies to control a meeting.
These rules are often echoed throughout an industry or economy. For instance, 49% of employers surveyed in 2005 by the American National Association of Colleges and Employers found that non-traditional attire would be a "strong influence" on their opinion of a potential job candidate.
Both office and business etiquette overlap considerably with basic tenets of
netiquetteNetiquette is a set of social conventions that facilitate interaction over networks, ranging from Usenet and mailing lists to blogs and forums. These rules were described in IETF RFC 1855. However, like many Internet phenomena, the concept and its application remain in a state of flux, and vary...
, the social conventions for using computer networks.
Adjusting to foreign etiquettes is a major complement of
culture shockCulture shock is the anxiety, feelings of frustration, alienation and anger that may occur when a person is emplaced in a new culture.One of the most common causes of culture shock involves individuals in a foreign country. Culture shock can be described as consisting of one or more distinct phases...
, providing a market for manuals.
Japan
The Japanese are very formal. Moments of silence are far from awkward. Smiling doesn’t always mean that the individual is expressing pleasure. Business cards are to be handed out formally following this procedure: Hand card with writing facing upwards; bow when giving and receiving the card; grasp it with both hands; read it carefully; and put it in a prominent place. The Japanese feel a “Giri” an obligation to reciprocate a gesture of kindness. They also rely on an innate sense of right and wrong.
| Conversation | Business | Dining | Leisure |
• Bow when greeting someone.
• Do not display emotion.
• Do not speak too loudly.
• The Japanese have difficulty in saying no.
• Do not blow your nose in public.
• Do not stand with your hands in your pocket.
• Displaying an open mouth is rude. |
• Bow in greeting.
• Females should avoid heels.
• Exchange business cards.
• Moments of silence are normal.
• Do not slouch.
• Cross legs at the ankles.
• Do not interrupt, listen carefully.
• Do not chew gum. |
• It is acceptable to make noise while eating.
• Food is judged by not only the taste but also the consistency.
• Try any food that is given to you.
• Rice left in your bowl indicates the desire for second helpings.
• If someone offers you sake, drink. |
• Remove shoes before entering homes and restaurants.
• To beckon a person extend hand palm down and make a scratching motion.
• The Japanese wear surgical masks when they have a cold.
• Men sit cross-legged and women sit on their legs or with their legs to the side. |
Some DO's and DONT’s:
• DO NOT mix sake with any other alcohol.
• DO NOT stash away a business card in a pocket or in a place where it is likely to be misplaced or damaged.
• DO look at the business card when given, and try to say something genuinely nice about it (colors, font, raised lettering, etc.)
Kenya
Kenyans believe that their tribal identity is very important. Kenyans are also very nationalistic. It is rare that you will find a Kenyan that prefers to be alone, most of the time they are very friendly and welcoming of guests. Kenyans are very family oriented.
| Conversation | Business | Dining | Leisure |
| • The handshake is the common greeting. |
• Use right hand to receive gifts. |
• Eating is taken very seriously. |
• You must ask permission in taking pictures of people. |
| • Engage in small talk. |
• Personal references are highly respected. |
• Eating is usually done in silence. |
• Kenyans operate on “Swahili Time”. |
| • Kenyans do not like to say “No” or “Yes”. |
• Be prepared: meetings are a lengthy affair. |
• Lunch is the most important meal of the day. |
|
| • Be humorous. |
• Hand out a business card. |
• The evening meal tends to be light. |
|
| • Laugh readily. |
• Most Kenyans prefer to make group decisions |
• Traditional foods are eaten without utensils using the left hand. |
|
| |
Make diligent follow up calls. |
|
|
Cultural differences
Etiquette is dependent on
cultureCulture is a term that has many different inter-related meanings. For example, in 1952, Alfred Kroeber and Clyde Kluckhohn compiled a list of 164 definitions of "culture" in Culture: A Critical Review of Concepts and Definitions...
; what is excellent etiquette in one society may shock another. Etiquette evolves within culture. The Dutch painter
Andries BothAndries Both , was a Dutch Golden Age genre painter, one of the bamboccianti, and brother of Jan Dirksz Both.Both was born in Utrecht, the son of a glass painter. He studied under Abraham Bloemaert. According to Joachim von Sandrart Andries and his brother Jan cooperated on the paintings, with Jan...
shows that the hunt for head lice (illustration, right), which had been a civilized grooming occupation in the early Middle Ages, a bonding experience that reinforced the comparative rank of two people, one groomed, one groomer, had become a peasant occupation by 1630. The painter portrays the familiar operation matter-of-factly, without the disdain this subject would have received in a 19th-century representation.
Etiquette can vary widely between different cultures and nations. For example, in
HausaThe Hausa are one of the largest ethnic groups in West Africa. They are a Sahelian people chiefly located in northern Nigeria and southeastern Niger, but having significant numbers living in regions of Cameroon, Ghana, Cote d'Ivoire, Chad and Sudan...
culture, eating while standing may be seen as offensively casual and ill-omened behavior, insulting the host and showing a lack of respect for the scarcity of food -- the offense is known as "eating with the devil" or "committing santi." In China, a person who takes the last item of food from a common plate or bowl without first offering it to others at the table may be seen as a glutton who is insulting the host's generosity. Traditionally, if guests do not have leftover food in front of them at the end of a meal, it is to the dishonour of the host. In America a guest is expected to eat all of the food given to them, as a compliment to the quality of the cooking. However, it is still considered polite to offer food from a common plate or bowl to others at the table.
In such rigid hierarchal cultures as Korea and Japan, alcohol helps to break down the strict social barrier between classes. It allows for a hint of informality to creep in. It is traditional for host and guest to take turns filling each other's cups and encouraging each other to gulp it down. For someone who does not consume alcohol (except for religious reasons), it can be difficult escaping the ritual of the social drink.
Etiquette is a topic that has occupied writers and thinkers in all sophisticated societies for millennia, beginning with a behavior code by
PtahhotepPtahhotep, sometimes known as Ptahhotpe or Ptah-Hotep, was an ancient Egyptian official during the late 25th century BC and early 24th century BC.-Life:...
, a vizier in ancient Egypt's
Old KingdomOld Kingdom is the name given to the period in the 3rd millennium BC when Egypt attained its first continuous peak of civilization in complexity and achievement – the first of three so-called "Kingdom" periods, which mark the high points of civilization in the lower Nile Valley .The term itself was...
during the reign of the Fifth Dynasty king
Djedkare IsesiDjedkare Isesi in Greek known as Tancheres from Manetho's Aegyptiaca, was a Pharaoh of Egypt during the Fifth dynasty. He is assigned a reign of twenty-eight years by the Turin Canon although some Egyptologists believe this is an error and should rather be thirty-eight years...
(ca. 2414–2375 BC). All known literate civilizations, including ancient Greece and Rome, developed rules for proper social conduct.
ConfuciusConfucius , literally "Master Kong", was a Chinese thinker and social philosopher of the Spring and Autumn Period....
included rules for eating and speaking along with his more philosophical sayings.
Early modern conceptions of what behavior identifies a "
gentlemanThe term gentleman , in its original and strict signification, denoted a well-educated man of good family and distinction, analogous to the Latin generosus...
" were codified in the 16th century, in a book by
Baldassare CastiglioneBaldassare Castiglione, count of was an Italian courtier, diplomat, soldier and a prominent Renaissance author.-Biography:Castiglione was born into an illustrious Lombard family at Casatico, near Mantua, where his family had constructed an impressive palazzo...
, Il Cortegiano ("The Courtier"); its codification of expectations at the
EsteThe House of Este is a European princely dynasty. It is split into two branches; the elder is known as the House of Welf-Este or House of Welf historically rendered in English, Guelf or Guelph...
court remained in force in its essentials until
World War IWorld War I , which was predominantly called the World War or the Great War from its occurrence until 1939, and the First World War or World War I thereafter, was a major war centred in Europe that began on 28 July 1914 and lasted until 11 November 1918...
. Louis XIV established an elaborate and rigid court ceremony, but distinguished himself from the high bourgeoisie by continuing to eat, stylishly and fastidiously, with his fingers. An important book about etiquette is Galateo, overo de' costumi by Monsignor
Giovanni della CasaGiovanni della Casa was an Italian poet and cleric.-Biography:He was born at Florence, in Tuscany. He studied at Bologna, Padua, Florence and Rome, and by his learning attracted the patronage of Alexander Farnese, who, as Pope Paul III, made him archbishop of Benevento and later nuncio to Venice,...
; in fact, in
ItalianItalian is a Romance language spoken mainly in Europe: Italy, Switzerland, San Marino, Vatican City, by minorities in Malta, Monaco, Croatia, Slovenia, France, Libya, Eritrea, and Somalia, and by immigrant communities in the Americas and Australia...
, etiquette is generally called galateo (or etichetta or protocollo).
As noted above, across the world,
Debrett's is considered by many to be the arbiter of etiquette; its guides to manners and form have long been and continue to be the last word among polite society
In the American colonies
Benjamin FranklinDr. Benjamin Franklin was one of the Founding Fathers of the United States. A noted polymath, Franklin was a leading author, printer, political theorist, politician, postmaster, scientist, musician, inventor, satirist, civic activist, statesman, and diplomat...
and
George WashingtonGeorge Washington was the dominant military and political leader of the new United States of America from 1775 to 1799. He led the American victory over Great Britain in the American Revolutionary War as commander-in-chief of the Continental Army from 1775 to 1783, and presided over the writing of...
wrote codes of conduct for young gentlemen. The immense popularity of advice columns and books by
Letitia BaldrigeLetitia Baldrige is an American etiquette expert and public relations executive.A graduate of Vassar College, she is a former State Department employee and was the White House Social Secretary to Jacqueline Kennedy....
and
Miss MannersJudith Martin , better known by the pen name Miss Manners, is an American journalist, author, and etiquette authority. Martin's uncle was economist and labor historian Selig Perlman.- Early life and career :...
shows the currency of this topic. Even more recently, the rise of the Internet has necessitated the adaptation of existing rules of conduct to create
NetiquetteNetiquette is a set of social conventions that facilitate interaction over networks, ranging from Usenet and mailing lists to blogs and forums. These rules were described in IETF RFC 1855. However, like many Internet phenomena, the concept and its application remain in a state of flux, and vary...
, which governs the drafting of e-mail, rules for participating in an online forum, and so on.
In Germany, many books dealing with etiquette, especially dining, dressing etc., are called the
KniggePeople:* Knigge , a Lower saxon nobility** Adolph Franz Friedrich Ludwig Knigge , a German writer* Rolf Peter Knigge , a German pop singer/songwriterEtiquette...
, named after Adolph Freiherr Knigge who wrote the book Über den Umgang mit Menschen (On Human Relations) in the late 18th century. However, this book is about good manner and also about the social states of its time, but not about etiquette.
Etiquette may be wielded as a social weapon. The outward adoption of the superficial mannerisms of an in-group, in the interests of social advancement rather than a concern for others, is considered by many a form of
snobA snob is someone who believes that some people are inherently inferior to him or her for any one of a variety of reasons, including real or supposed intellect, wealth, education, ancestry, taste, beauty, nationality, et cetera. Often, the form of snobbery reflects the snob's personal attributes...
bery, lacking in
virtueVirtue is moral excellence. A virtue is a positive trait or quality subjectively deemed to be morally excellent and thus is valued as a foundation of principle and good moral being....
.
See also
Etiquette and language
- Acrolect
- Aizuchi
Aizuchi is the Japanese term for frequent interjections during a conversation that indicate the listener is paying attention and understanding the speaker. In linguistic terms, these are a form of phatic expression...
- Basilect
- Honorific
An honorific is a word or expression with connotations conveying esteem or respect when used in addressing or referring to a person. Sometimes, the term is used not quite correctly to refer to an honorary title...
- Netiquette
Netiquette is a set of social conventions that facilitate interaction over networks, ranging from Usenet and mailing lists to blogs and forums. These rules were described in IETF RFC 1855. However, like many Internet phenomena, the concept and its application remain in a state of flux, and vary...
- Polite fiction
Polite fiction refers to a social scenario in which all participants are aware of a truth, but pretend to believe in some alternative version of events to avoid conflict or embarrassment...
- Prescription and description
- Profanity
Profanity is a show of disrespect, or a desecration or debasement of someone or something. Profanity can take the form of words, expressions, gestures, or other social behaviors that are socially constructed or interpreted as insulting, rude, vulgar, obscene, desecrating, or other forms.The...
- Semantics
Semantics is the study of meaning. It focuses on the relation between signifiers, such as words, phrases, signs and symbols, and what they stand for, their denotata....
- Slang
Slang is the use of informal words and expressions that are not considered standard in the speaker's language or dialect but are considered more acceptable when used socially. Slang is often to be found in areas of the lexicon that refer to things considered taboo...
- Slang dictionary
A slang dictionary is a reference book containing an alphabetical list of slang, vernacular vocabulary not generally acceptable in formal usage, usually including information given for each word, including meaning, pronunciation, and etymology. It can provide definitions on a range of slang from...
- Standard language
A standard language is a language variety used by a group of people in their public discourse. Alternatively, varieties become standard by undergoing a process of standardization, during which it is organized for description in grammars and dictionaries and encoded in such reference works...
- Style of address
A style of office, or honorific, is a legal, official, or recognized title. A style, by tradition or law, precedes a reference to a person who holds a post or political office, and is sometimes used to refer to the office itself. An honorific can also be awarded to an individual in a personal...
- T-V distinction
In sociolinguistics, a T–V distinction is a contrast, within one language, between second-person pronouns that are specialized for varying levels of politeness, social distance, courtesy, familiarity, or insult toward the addressee....
- What happens on tour, stays on tour
What happens on tour stays on tour is a notorious phrase or saying agreed to by men who get together and travel either interstate or overseas for sporting tours. In essence, the phrase means that all exploits during the tour must be kept strictly confidential, never to be discussed with anyone...
Etiquette and society
- Social graces
Social graces are skills used to interact politely in social situations. They include manners, etiquette , deportment and fashion. These skills were once taught to young women at a finishing school or charm school...
- Aliénor de Poitiers
Aliénor de Poitiers , flourished late 15th century, Poitiers, France, was the daughter of the countess of Poitiers. It is known she was also the widowed Viscountess of Veurne....
early documentor of French etiquette
- Concert etiquette
Concert etiquette refers to a set of social norms of people who attend musical performances. These norms vary depending on the type of music performance and can be stringent or informal.-Western Classical music:...
- Debrett's
Debrett’s is a specialist publisher, founded in 1769 with the publication of the first edition of The New Peerage. The name "Debrett's" honours John Debrett...
- Diplomacy
Diplomacy is the art and practice of conducting negotiations between representatives of groups or states...
- Faux pas
A faux pas is a violation of accepted social norms . Faux pas vary widely from culture to culture, and what is considered good manners in one culture can be considered a faux pas in another...
, Faux pas derived from Chinese pronunciationThe following faux pas are derived from homonyms in Mandarin and Cantonese. While originating in Greater China, they may also apply to Chinese-speaking people around the world.Certain customs regarding good and bad luck are important to many Chinese people...
- Intercultural competence
Intercultural competence is the ability of successful communication with people of other cultures.A person who is interculturally competent captures and understands, in interaction with people from foreign cultures, their specific concepts in perception, thinking, feeling and acting...
- Levée
Lever , adopted in English as levée—initially the simple act of getting up in the morning—has traditionally been a daily moment of intimacy and accessibility to a monarch or leader...
, the English version of Louis XIV's morning rising etiquette (lever) at VersaillesThe Palace of Versailles , or simply Versailles, is a royal château in Versailles in the Île-de-France region of France. In French it is the Château de Versailles....
.
- Military courtesy
Military courtesy is one of the defining features of a professional military force. These courtesies form a strict and sometimes elaborate code of conduct....
- Order of precedence
An order of precedence is a sequential hierarchy of nominal importance of items. Most often it is used in the context of people by many organizations and governments...
- Protocol
In international politics, protocol is the etiquette of diplomacy and affairs of state.A protocol is a rule which guides how an activity should be performed, especially in the field of diplomacy. In diplomatic services and governmental fields of endeavor protocols are often unwritten guidelines...
- Refinement, Psychology And Social Class
- Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation
Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation is the name of a list best known as a school writing exercise of George Washington, who became the first president of the United States of America...
by George WashingtonGeorge Washington was the dominant military and political leader of the new United States of America from 1775 to 1799. He led the American victory over Great Britain in the American Revolutionary War as commander-in-chief of the Continental Army from 1775 to 1783, and presided over the writing of...
- Social Norms
Social norms are the accepted behaviors within a society or group. This sociological and social psychological term has been defined as "the rules that a group uses for appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. These rules may be explicit or implicit...
- Table manners
Table manners are the rules of etiquette used while eating, which may also include the appropriate use of utensils. Different cultures observe different rules for table manners...
- Work Etiquette
Work etiquette is a code that governs the expectations of social behavior in a workplace, in a group or a society. Work etiquette tells the individual how to behave when dealing with situations in a working environment however trivial the situation is. Office etiquette in particular applies to...
- Zigzag method
Worldwide etiquette
- Africa
As expectations regarding good manners differ from person to person and vary according to each situation, no treatise on the rules of etiquette nor any list of faux pas can ever be complete. As the perception of behaviors and actions vary, intercultural competence is essential...
- Asia
As expectations regarding good manners differ from person to person and vary according to each situation, no treatise on the rules of etiquette nor any list of faux pas can ever be complete. As the perception of behaviors and actions vary, intercultural competence is essential...
- Australia and New Zealand
Expectations regarding good manners differ from person to person and vary according to each situation. As the perception of behaviors and actions vary, intercultural competence is essential...
- Europe
Etiquette in Europe is not uniform. Even within the regions of Europe, etiquette may not be uniform: within a single country there may be differences in customs, especially where there are different linguistic groups, as in Switzerland where there are French, German and Italian speakers.Despite...
- Latin America
Etiquette in Latin America varies by country and by region within a given country.-Generalizations:There are several definitions of Latin America, but all of them define a huge expansive of geography with an incalculable amount of different customs, However, some generalizations can be made:*As...
- Middle East
Many matters of etiquette in the Middle East are connected to Islam as it is written in the Qur'an and how it has been traditionally understood and practiced throughout the centuries...
- North America
Further reading
Originally published in 1947 Originally published in 1947 Originally published in 1952, this and
Emily PostEmily Post was an American author famous for writing on etiquette.-Background:Post was born as Emily Price in Baltimore, Maryland, into privilege as the only daughter of architect Bruce Price and his wife Josephine Lee Price of Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania...
's book were the U.S. etiquette bibles of the '50s–'70s era.
- From Clueless to Class Act, series of books on etiquette, by Jodi Smith deals with proper etiquette for men and women.
- Secrets of Seasoned Professionals: They learned the hard way so you don't have to, by Kelly A. Tyler, Fired Up Publishing (2008), ISBN 978-0-9818298-0-7, 146 pages.
- Town & Country Modern Manners: The Thinking Person's Guide to Social Graces, by Thomas P. Farley, Hearst Books (September 2005), ISBN 1-58816-454-3, 256 pages.
- Manners That Sell: Adding the Polish that Builds Profits, by Lydia Ramsey, Longfellow Press (2007), 978-0967001203, 188 pages.
- Socially Smart in 60 Seconds: Etiquette Do's and Don'ts for Personal and Professional Success", by Deborah Smith Pegues, Harvest House Publishers (2009), ISBN 978-0-7369-2050-6.
- The Britiquette Series: The Must-Have Guide to Posh Nosh Table Manners (66 pages) and The Slightly Rude But Much Needed Guide to Social Grace & Good Manners (101 pages), by Elaine Grace, (2007), (EBooks).
- Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work by Jacqueline Whitmore, St. Martin's Press (2005), ISBN 0312338090, 198 pages.
External links