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Etiquette
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Etiquette is a code that influences expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group. Rules of etiquette are usually unwritten, but aspects of etiquette have been codified from time to time. Rules of etiquette encompass most aspects of social interaction in any society, though the term itself is not commonly used. A rule of etiquette may reflect an underlying ethical code, or it may reflect a fashion or status.
Like "culture", it is a word that has gradually grown plural, especially in a multi-ethnic society with many clashing expectations.
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Etiquette is a code that influences expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group. Rules of etiquette are usually unwritten, but aspects of etiquette have been codified from time to time. Rules of etiquette encompass most aspects of social interaction in any society, though the term itself is not commonly used. A rule of etiquette may reflect an underlying ethical code, or it may reflect a fashion or status.
Like "culture", it is a word that has gradually grown plural, especially in a multi-ethnic society with many clashing expectations. Thus, it is now possible to refer to "an etiquette" or "a culture", realizing that these may not be universal. In Britain, though, the word etiquette has its roots in the eighteenth century, becoming a universal force in the nineteenth century to the extent that it has been described as the one word that aptly describes life during the reign of Queen Victoria.
Manners
Manners involve a wide range of social interactions within cultural norms as in the "comedy of manners", or a painter's characteristic "manner". Etiquette and manners, like mythology, have buried histories especially when they seem to have little obvious purpose, and their justifications as logical ("respect shown to others" etc.) may be equally revealing to the social historian.
In America, the notion of etiquette, being of French origin and arising from practices at the court of Louis XIV, is occasionally disparaged, especially by those unfamiliar with etiquette's social foundations and functions, as old-fashioned or elite, a Likecode concerned only with apparently remote directives such as "which fork to use". Some such individuals consider etiquette to be an unnecessary restriction of freedom of personal expression; others consider such a philosophy to be espoused only by the unschooled, the unmannerly and the rude. For instance, wearing pajamas to a wedding in a cathedral may indeed be an expression of the guest's freedom, but may also cause the bride and groom to suspect that the guest in pajamas is expressing amusement, disparagement, or disrespect towards them and their wedding. Etiquette may be enforced in pragmatic ways: "No shoes, no shirt, no service" is a notice commonly displayed outside stores and cafés in the warmer parts of North America. Others feel that a single, basic code shared by all makes life simpler and more pleasant by removing many chances for misunderstandings and by creating opportunities for courtesy and mutual respect.
Cultural differences
Etiquette is dependent on culture; what is excellent etiquette in one society may shock another. Etiquette evolves within culture. The Dutch painter Andries Both shows that the hunt for head lice (illustration, right), which had been a civilized grooming occupation in the early Middle Ages, a bonding experience that reinforced the comparative rank of two people, one groomed, one groomer, had become a peasant occupation by 1630. The painter portrays the familiar operation matter-of-factly, without the disdain this subject would have received in a nineteenth-century representation.
Etiquette can vary widely between different cultures and nations. In China, a person who takes the last item of food from a common plate or bowl without first offering it to others at the table may be seen as a glutton and insulting the generosity of the host. In America a guest is expected to eat all of the food given to them, as a compliment to the quality of the cooking.
Etiquette is a topic that has occupied writers and thinkers in all sophisticated societies for millennia, beginning with a behavior code by Ptahhotep, a vizier in ancient Egypt's Old Kingdom during the reign of the Fifth Dynasty king Djedkare Isesi (ca. 2414–2375 B.C.). All known literate civilizations, including ancient Greece and Rome, developed rules for proper social conduct. Confucius included rules for eating and speaking along with his more philosophical sayings.
Early modern conceptions of what behavior identifies a "gentleman" were codified in the sixteenth century, in a book by Baldassare Castiglione, Il Cortegiano ("The Courtier"); its codification of expectations at the Este court remained in force in its essentials until World War I. Louis XIV established an elaborate and rigid court ceremony, but distinguished himself from the high bourgeoisie by continuing to eat, stylishly and fastidiously, with his fingers. An important book about etiquette is Galateo, overo de' costumi by Monsignor Giovanni della Casa; in fact, in Italian, etiquette is generally called galateo (or etichetta or protocollo).
In the UK, Debrett's is considered by many to be the arbiter of etiquette; their guides to manners and form have long been the last word among polite society. Traditional publications such as Correct Form have recently been updated to reflect contemporary society, and new titles Etiquette for Girls and Manners for Men act as guides for those who want to combine a modern lifestyle with traditional values.
In the American colonies Benjamin Franklin and George Washington wrote codes of conduct for young gentlemen. The immense popularity of advice columns and books by Letitia Baldrige and Miss Manners shows the currency of this topic. Even more recently, the rise of the Internet has necessitated the adaptation of existing rules of conduct to create Netiquette, which governs the drafting of email, rules for participating in an online forum, and so on.
In Germany, there is an "unofficial" code of conduct, called the Knigge, based on a book of high rules of conduct written by Adolph Freiherr Knigge in the late 18th century entitled exactly Über den Umgang mit Menschen (On Human Relations). The code of conduct is still highly respected in Germany today and is used primarily in the higher society.
Etiquette may be wielded as a social weapon. The outward adoption of the superficial mannerisms of an in-group, in the interests of social advancement rather than a concern for others, is a form of snobbery, lacking in virtue.
Western business etiquette
The etiquette of business is the set of written and unwritten rules of conduct that make social interactions run more smoothly. Office etiquette in particular applies to coworker interaction, excluding interactions with external contacts such as customers and suppliers. Both office and business etiquette overlap considerably with basic tenets of netiquette. These rules are often echoed throughout an industry or economy. For instance, 49% of employers surveyed in 2005 by the American National Association of Colleges and Employers found that non-traditional attire would be a "strong influence" on their opinion of a potential job candidate.
See also
Etiquette and language
Etiquette and society
Worldwide Etiquette
Further reading
- The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette: 50th Anniversary Edition, by Nancy Tuckerman, Nancy Dunnan, and Amy Vanderbilt, Doubleday (1995), ISBN 0-385-41342-4, 786 pages: originally published in 1952, this and Emily Post's book were the U.S. etiquette bibles of the 50's-70's era.
- Debrett's Correct Form, Debrett's Limited (2006), 192 pages.
- Eye to Eye: How People Interact, by Peter Marsh, Salem House Publication, ISBN 0-8816-2371-7, 256 pages.
- From Clueless to Class Act, series of books on etiquette, by deals with proper etiquette for men and women.
- The Little Book of Etiquette by Dorothea Johnson, Protocol School of Washington, Philadelphia/London, Running Press (1997)ISBN-13-978-0-7624-0009-6, 127 pages. A pocket-sized, take-along reference book for the user's convenience.
- Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Freshly Updated, by Judith Martin, illustrated by Gloria Kanem, W.W. Norton & Co. (2005), ISBN 0-393-05874-3, 858 pages.
- New Manners for New Times: A Complete Guide to Etiquette, by , New York: Scribner, 2003, ISBN 0-7432-1062-X, 709 pages.
- The Power of Handshaking for Peak Performance Worldwide by Robert E. Brown and Dorothea Johnson, Protocol School of Washington, Capital Books, Inc., Herndon, Virginia (2004), ISBN 1-931868-88-3, 98 pages.
- Secrets of Seasoned Professionals: They learned the hard way so you don't have to, by Kelly A. Tyler, Fired Up Publishing (2008), ISBN 978-0-9818298-0-7, 146 pages.
- Town & Country Modern Manners: The Thinking Person's Guide to Social Graces, by Thomas P. Farley, Hearst Books (September 2005), ISBN 1-58816-454-3, 256 pages.
- Manners That Sell: Adding the Polish that Builds Profits, by Lydia Ramsey, Longfellow Press (2007), 978-0967001203, 188 pages.
- Socially Smart in 60 Seconds: Etiquette Do's and Don'ts for Personal and Professional Success", by Deborah Smith Pegues, Harvest House Publishers (2009), ISBN 978-0-7369-2050-6.
External links
, by Emily Post (1922)
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