Ernie (the Fastest Milkman in the West)
Encyclopedia
"Ernie" is an innuendo-laden comedy or novelty song
Novelty song
A novelty song is a comical or nonsensical song, performed principally for its comical effect. Humorous songs, or those containing humorous elements, are not necessarily novelty songs. The term arose in Tin Pan Alley to describe one of the major divisions of popular music. The other two divisions...

, written and performed by the English
English people
The English are a nation and ethnic group native to England, who speak English. The English identity is of early mediaeval origin, when they were known in Old English as the Anglecynn. England is now a country of the United Kingdom, and the majority of English people in England are British Citizens...

 comedian Benny Hill
Benny Hill
Benny Hill was an English comedian and actor, notable for his long-running television programme The Benny Hill Show.-Early life:...

. The song was first performed on television in 1970, and released as a successful recording
Sound recording and reproduction
Sound recording and reproduction is an electrical or mechanical inscription and re-creation of sound waves, such as spoken voice, singing, instrumental music, or sound effects. The two main classes of sound recording technology are analog recording and digital recording...

, topping the UK Singles Chart
UK Singles Chart
The UK Singles Chart is compiled by The Official Charts Company on behalf of the British record-industry. The full chart contains the top selling 200 singles in the United Kingdom based upon combined record sales and download numbers, though some media outlets only list the Top 40 or the Top 75 ...

 in 1971, reaching the Christmas number one spot.

Story line

The lyric's story line is inspired by Hill's early experience as a milkman
Milkman
A milkman is a person, traditionally male, who delivers milk in milk bottles or cartons. Milk deliveries frequently occur in the morning and it is not uncommon for milkmen to deliver products other than milk such as eggs, cream, cheese, butter, yogurt or soft drinks...

 for Hann's Dairies in Eastleigh
Eastleigh
Eastleigh is a railway town in Hampshire, England, and the main town in the Eastleigh borough which is part of Southampton Urban Area. The town lies between Southampton and Winchester, and is part of the South Hampshire conurbation...

, Hampshire
Hampshire
Hampshire is a county on the southern coast of England in the United Kingdom. The county town of Hampshire is Winchester, a historic cathedral city that was once the capital of England. Hampshire is notable for housing the original birthplaces of the Royal Navy, British Army, and Royal Air Force...

. Market Street mentioned in the lyrics is an actual road in Eastleigh. The song tells the fictional exploits of Ernie Price, a 52-year-old (68 in the original TV version) milkman who drives a horse
Horse
The horse is one of two extant subspecies of Equus ferus, or the wild horse. It is a single-hooved mammal belonging to the taxonomic family Equidae. The horse has evolved over the past 45 to 55 million years from a small multi-toed creature into the large, single-toed animal of today...

-drawn milk cart. It relates his war with the bread
Bread
Bread is a staple food prepared by cooking a dough of flour and water and often additional ingredients. Doughs are usually baked, but in some cuisines breads are steamed , fried , or baked on an unoiled frying pan . It may be leavened or unleavened...

-delivery man ("Two-Ton Ted from Teddington") and their efforts to win the heart of Sue, a widow who lives on her own at number 22, Linley Lane.

In the end the two men fight with the wares they carry on their carts, and Ernie is killed by a rock cake
Rock cake
A rock cake, also called a rock bun, is a small fruit cake with a rough surface resembling a rock.Rock cakes originated in Great Britain, where they are a traditional teatime treat, but are now popular in many parts of the world...

 underneath his heart
Heart
The heart is a myogenic muscular organ found in all animals with a circulatory system , that is responsible for pumping blood throughout the blood vessels by repeated, rhythmic contractions...

 followed by a stale pork pie
Pork pie
A pork pie is a traditional British meat pie. It consists of roughly chopped pork and pork jelly sealed in a hot water crust pastry . It is normally eaten cold as a snack or as part of a meal.-Types:...

 in his eye (a fresh meat pie
Australian meat pie
An Australian or New Zealand meat pie is a hand-sized meat pie containing largely diced or minced meat and gravy, sometimes with onion, mushrooms, or cheese and often consumed as a takeaway food snack. The pie itself is similar to the United Kingdom's steak pie.It is considered iconic in Australia...

 in the original TV version).

Sue and Ted then marry, but Ernie's ghost
Ghost
In traditional belief and fiction, a ghost is the soul or spirit of a deceased person or animal that can appear, in visible form or other manifestation, to the living. Descriptions of the apparition of ghosts vary widely from an invisible presence to translucent or barely visible wispy shapes, to...

 returns to haunt them.

History

"Ernie" was originally written in 1955 as the introduction to an unfilmed screenplay about Hill's milkman experiences.

In 1966, Frank Gallop
Frank Gallop
Frank Gallop was an American radio and television personality.-Radio:Frank Gallop went into broadcasting by chance...

 had a U.S. hit with "The Ballad of Irving", which had the same melody and a similar metre
Meter (music)
Meter or metre is a term that music has inherited from the rhythmic element of poetry where it means the number of lines in a verse, the number of syllables in each line and the arrangement of those syllables as long or short, accented or unaccented...

.

Hill performed the song on The Benny Hill Show
The Benny Hill Show
The Benny Hill Show is a British comedy television show starring Benny Hill.There were various incarnations of the show between 1951 and 1991, and it aired in over 140 countries. The show is generally sketch-based with heavy use of slapstick, mime, parody and double-entendre...

in 1970. The original clip is seldom repeated as it was made in black and white owing to a technicians' strike
Colour Strike
The Colour Strike was an industrial action by technicians at all ITV companies from 13 November 1970 to 8 February 1971 who, due to a pay dispute with their management, refused to work with colour television equipment.At that time ITV had recently switched to...

, but the episode has been released on DVD on both sides of the Atlantic
Atlantic Ocean
The Atlantic Ocean is the second-largest of the world's oceanic divisions. With a total area of about , it covers approximately 20% of the Earth's surface and about 26% of its water surface area...

.

The following year, it was included with minor lyrical revisions on Hill's album
Album
An album is a collection of recordings, released as a single package on gramophone record, cassette, compact disc, or via digital distribution. The word derives from the Latin word for list .Vinyl LP records have two sides, each comprising one half of the album...

 Words and Music. When it was released as a single on EMI
EMI
The EMI Group, also known as EMI Music or simply EMI, is a multinational music company headquartered in London, United Kingdom. It is the fourth-largest business group and family of record labels in the recording industry and one of the "big four" record companies. EMI Group also has a major...

's Columbia
Columbia Graphophone Company
The Columbia Graphophone Company was one of the earliest gramophone companies in the United Kingdom. Under EMI, as Columbia Records, it became a very successful label in the 1950s and 1960s...

 label, it became a surprise number-one hit, topping the UK singles chart for four weeks at Christmas 1971. A promotional film
Music video
A music video or song video is a short film integrating a song and imagery, produced for promotional or artistic purposes. Modern music videos are primarily made and used as a marketing device intended to promote the sale of music recordings...

 was shot starring Hill as Ernie and Henry McGee
Henry McGee
Henry McGee was a British actor, best known as straight man to Benny Hill for many years. McGee was also often the announcer on Hill's TV programme, delivering the upbeat intro "Yes! It's The Benny Hill Show!"...

 as Ted.

Hill re-recorded the song shortly before his death in 1992 for the album Benny Hill... The Best Of.

On Desert Island Discs
Desert Island Discs
Desert Island Discs is a BBC Radio 4 programme first broadcast on 29 January 1942. It is the second longest-running radio programme , and is the longest-running factual programme in the history of radio...

in May 2006, Conservative Party
Conservative Party (UK)
The Conservative Party, formally the Conservative and Unionist Party, is a centre-right political party in the United Kingdom that adheres to the philosophies of conservatism and British unionism. It is the largest political party in the UK, and is currently the largest single party in the House...

 leader David Cameron
David Cameron
David William Donald Cameron is the current Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, First Lord of the Treasury, Minister for the Civil Service and Leader of the Conservative Party. Cameron represents Witney as its Member of Parliament ....

 picked it as one of his eight favourite records.

Ernie was referenced in the Superhero segment of one episode of BBC TV's Basil's Swap Shop
Basil's Swap Shop
Basil & Barney's Swap Shop is a British children's television series that was produced for CBBC and ran on Saturday mornings on BBC Two and CBBC Channel from 5 January 2008 to 25 September 2010...

, with an Ernie lookalike appearing at the superhero's flat, only to be told that speedy delivery of milk was not a super-power.

See also

  • List of number-one singles from the 1970s (UK)
  • List of number-one singles in Australia during the 1970s

External links



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