Doctorin' the Tardis
Encyclopedia
"Doctorin' the Tardis" is a 1988 electronic novelty pop single
Single (music)
In music, a single or record single is a type of release, typically a recording of fewer tracks than an LP or a CD. This can be released for sale to the public in a variety of different formats. In most cases, the single is a song that is released separately from an album, but it can still appear...

 by The Timelords ("Time Boy" and "Lord Rock", aliases of Bill Drummond
Bill Drummond
William Ernest Drummond is a Scottish artist, musician, writer and record producer. He was the co-founder of late 1980s avant-garde pop group The KLF and its 1990s media-manipulating successor, the K Foundation, with which he burned a million pounds in 1994...

 and Jimmy Cauty
Jimmy Cauty
James Francis Cauty is a British artist and musician born in Liverpool, England, in 1956...

, better known as The KLF
The KLF
The KLF were one of the seminal bands of the British acid house movement during the late 1980s and early 1990s....

). The song is predominantly a mash-up of the Doctor Who theme music
Doctor Who theme music
The Doctor Who theme is a piece of music composed by Ron Grainer and realised by Delia Derbyshire at the BBC Radiophonic Workshop. Created in 1963, it was one of the first electronic music signature tunes for television and after nearly five decades remains one of the most easily...

, Gary Glitter
Gary Glitter
Gary Glitter is an English former glam rock singer-songwriter and musician.Glitter first came to prominence in the glam rock era of the early 1970s...

's "Rock and Roll (Part Two)
Rock and Roll (Gary Glitter song)
"Rock and Roll", also known as "The Hey Song", is a song performed by British glam rocker Gary Glitter that was released in 1972 as a single and on the album Glitter. Co-written by Glitter and Mike Leander, the song is in two parts: Part 1 is a vocal track reflecting on the history of the genre,...

" with sections from "Blockbuster!" by Sweet
Sweet (band)
Sweet was a British rock band that rose to worldwide fame in the 1970s as one of the most prominent glam rock acts, with the classic line-up of lead vocalist Brian Connolly, bass player Steve Priest, guitarist Andy Scott, and drummer Mick Tucker.Sweet was formed in 1968 and achieved their first...

 and "Let's Get Together Tonite" by Steve Walsh
Steve Walsh (disc jockey)
Steve Walsh was a British disc jockey. He died following a car crash in Ibiza, Spain.Walsh began his radio career at the first soul music pirate radio station, Radio Invicta, alongside his friend, the late Bob Tomalski. From there he moved on to JFM , where his style first began to shine through...

. The single was panned by critics but became a commercial success, reaching number 1 in the UK Singles Chart
UK Singles Chart
The UK Singles Chart is compiled by The Official Charts Company on behalf of the British record-industry. The full chart contains the top selling 200 singles in the United Kingdom based upon combined record sales and download numbers, though some media outlets only list the Top 40 or the Top 75 ...

 and charting in the Top 10 in Australia and Norway
Norway
Norway , officially the Kingdom of Norway, is a Nordic unitary constitutional monarchy whose territory comprises the western portion of the Scandinavian Peninsula, Jan Mayen, and the Arctic archipelago of Svalbard and Bouvet Island. Norway has a total area of and a population of about 4.9 million...

.

The Timelords followed up their chart-topping record with a "how to have a number one" guide, The Manual (How to Have a Number One the Easy Way)
The Manual
The Manual is a 1988 book by The Timelords , better known as The KLF. It is a tongue-in-cheek step by step guide to achieving a No.1 single with no money or musical skills, and a case study of the duo's UK novelty pop No...

.

Context

The release of "Doctorin' the Tardis" followed a self-imposed break from recording of Drummond and Cauty's sampling outfit, The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu (The JAMs). The single continued The JAMs' strategy of plagiarising and juxtaposing popular musical works. However, unlike the cultish
Cult following
A cult following is a group of fans who are highly dedicated to a specific area of pop culture. A film, book, band, or video game, among other things, will be said to have a cult following when it has a small but very passionate fan base...

 limited releases of The JAMs, in which Drummond's Clydeside
River Clyde
The River Clyde is a major river in Scotland. It is the ninth longest river in the United Kingdom, and the third longest in Scotland. Flowing through the major city of Glasgow, it was an important river for shipbuilding and trade in the British Empire....

 rapping
Rapping
Rapping refers to "spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics". The art form can be broken down into different components, as in the book How to Rap where it is separated into “content”, “flow” , and “delivery”...

 and social commentary were regular ingredients, "Doctorin' The Tardis" was an excursion into the musical mainstream, with the change of name to "The Timelords" and an overt reliance on several iconic symbols of 1970s and 80s British popular culture
Culture of the United Kingdom
The culture of the United Kingdom refers to the patterns of human activity and symbolism associated with the United Kingdom and its people. It is informed by the UK's history as a developed island country, major power, and its composition of four countries—England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and...

, including Glitter, the Doctor Who
Doctor Who
Doctor Who is a British science fiction television programme produced by the BBC. The programme depicts the adventures of a time-travelling humanoid alien known as the Doctor who explores the universe in a sentient time machine called the TARDIS that flies through time and space, whose exterior...

 theme song, references to Doctor Who's Dalek
Dalek
The Daleks are a fictional extraterrestrial race of mutants from the British science fiction television series Doctor Who. Within the series, Daleks are cyborgs from the planet Skaro, created by the scientist Davros during the final years of a thousand-year war against the Thals...

s and the TARDIS
TARDIS
The TARDISGenerally, TARDIS is written in all upper case letters—this convention was popularised by the Target novelisations of the 1970s...

, Sweet's "Blockbuster!" and Harry Enfield
Harry Enfield
Henry Richard "Harry" Enfield is a BAFTA-winning English comedian, actor, writer and director.-Early life:...

's character 'Loadsamoney'. The song also features the riff from another of Glitter's recordings, "I'm the Leader of the Gang (I Am)". Its name is a reference to "Doctorin' the House" by Coldcut
Coldcut
Coldcut are an English dance music duo, comprising Matt Black and Jonathan More. Their signature style is electronic dance music, featuring cut up samples of hip hop, breaks, jazz, spoken word and various other types of music, as well as video and multimedia.-1980s:In 1986, computer programmer Matt...

.

Drummond and Cauty often claimed that the song was the result of a deliberate effort to write a number one hit single. However, in interviews with Snub TV
Snub TV
Snub TV or simply Snub was a alternative culture television programme that ran from 1987 to 1989. Originally produced as a part of the Nightflight in the USA, it went on to success in the UK and other countries...

 and BBC Radio 1
BBC Radio 1
BBC Radio 1 is a British national radio station operated by the British Broadcasting Corporation which also broadcasts internationally, specialising in current popular music and chart hits throughout the day. Radio 1 provides alternative genres after 7:00pm including electronic dance, hip hop, rock...

, Drummond offered a more plausible explanation. "We went into the studio on a Monday, thinking we were going to make a house track, a regular underground dance house track using the Doctor Who theme tune... [but] we [then] realised it was in triplet time
Metre (music)
Meter or metre is a term that music has inherited from the rhythmic element of poetry where it means the number of lines in a verse, the number of syllables in each line and the arrangement of those syllables as long or short, accented or unaccented...

 and you can't have house tracks in triplet time. The only beat that would work with it was the Glitter beat
Gary Glitter
Gary Glitter is an English former glam rock singer-songwriter and musician.Glitter first came to prominence in the glam rock era of the early 1970s...

. By Tuesday evening we realised we had a number one and we just went totally for the lowest common denominator
Lowest common denominator
In mathematics, the lowest common denominator or least common denominator is the least common multiple of the denominators of a set of vulgar fractions...

". Radio 1 interviewer Richard Skinner
Richard Skinner (broadcaster)
Richard Skinner is a British radio and television broadcaster.He is the only presenter to have fronted the three BBC 'flagship' pop music programmes Whistle Test, Top of the Pops and Top 40 show. -Early career:...

 called the record an "aberration", to which Drummond pleaded "guilty", adding that "we justified it all by saying to ourselves 'We're celebrating a very British thing here... you know, something that Timmy Mallett
Timmy Mallett
Timmy Mallett is a TV presenter and broadcaster in the UK. He achieved cult status on BBC Radio Oxford and Manchester's Piccadilly Radio and later on TV-am...

 understands'".

In a KLF Communications information sheet, Drummond called "Doctorin' the Tardis" "probably the most nauseating record in the world" but added that "we also enjoyed celebrating the trashier side of pop".

Ford Timelord

In promotional material for the single, credit for the talent behind the song (inspiration and authorship) was attributed not to Time Boy and Lord Rock but to "Ford Timelord," Cauty's 1968 Ford Galaxie
Ford Galaxie
The Ford Galaxie was a full-size car built in the United States by the Ford Motor Company for model years 1959 through 1974. The name was used for the top models in Ford’s full-size range from 1959 until 1961, in a marketing attempt to appeal to the excitement surrounding the Space Race...

 American police car
Police car
A police car is a ground vehicle used by police, to assist with their duties in patrolling and responding to incidents. Typical uses of a police car include transportation for officers to reach the scene of an incident quickly, to transport criminal suspects, or to patrol an area, while providing a...

 reg plate "WGU 18G", formerly known as the JAMsmobile. The car, which had previously appeared on the cover of The JAMs' album Who Killed The JAMs?, was thematically tailored to The JAMs, depicting their 'pyramid blaster' emblem on its doors and the number 23
23 (numerology)
The 23 enigma refers to the belief that most incidents and events are directly connected to the number 23, some modification of the number 23, or a number related to the number 23.-Origins:...

 on its roof. Drummond and Cauty claimed the car spoke to them, giving its name as Ford Timelord, and advising the duo to become "The Timelords". Ford featured prominently on the sleeve of "Doctorin' the Tardis", where it is quoted as saying "Hi! I'm Ford Timelord. I'm a car, and I've made a record", and "...I mixed and matched some tunes we all know and love, got some mates down and made this record. Sounds like a hit to me". The "Timelord" component of Ford's name is derived from the Time Lord
Time Lord
The Time Lords are an ancient extraterrestrial race and civilization of humanoids in the British science fiction television series Doctor Who, of which the series' eponymous protagonist, the Doctor, is a member...

s, a fictional alien race from the planet Gallifrey
Gallifrey
Gallifrey is a fictional planet in the long-running British science fiction television series Doctor Who and is the homeworld of the Doctor and the Time Lords...

 in Doctor Who
Doctor Who
Doctor Who is a British science fiction television programme produced by the BBC. The programme depicts the adventures of a time-travelling humanoid alien known as the Doctor who explores the universe in a sentient time machine called the TARDIS that flies through time and space, whose exterior...

. The car was obviously inspired by the Bluesmobile
Bluesmobile
The Bluesmobile is a 1974 Dodge Monaco sedan that was prominently featured in the 1980 film, The Blues Brothers. In the film, it is described as a used Mount Prospect police car that replaced a Cadillac, which Elwood Blues traded for a microphone. The Bluesmobile was equipped with the "440 Magnum"...

.

The "Doctorin' the Tardis" music video
Music video
A music video or song video is a short film integrating a song and imagery, produced for promotional or artistic purposes. Modern music videos are primarily made and used as a marketing device intended to promote the sale of music recordings...

 features Ford Timelord driving around the countryside in pursuit of some rather crudely designed Daleks, his wailing siren audible throughout. The music video was filmed in Wiltshire
Wiltshire
Wiltshire is a ceremonial county in South West England. It is landlocked and borders the counties of Dorset, Somerset, Hampshire, Gloucestershire, Oxfordshire and Berkshire. It contains the unitary authority of Swindon and covers...

, England
England
England is a country that is part of the United Kingdom. It shares land borders with Scotland to the north and Wales to the west; the Irish Sea is to the north west, the Celtic Sea to the south west, with the North Sea to the east and the English Channel to the south separating it from continental...

. Two of Wiltshire's landmarks, the Cherhill White Horse
Cherhill White Horse
The Cherhill White Horse is a hill figure on Cherhill Down, 3.5 miles east of Calne in Wiltshire, England. Dating from the late 18th century, it is the third oldest of several such white horses in Great Britain, with only the Uffington White Horse and the Westbury White Horse being older...

 and the Lansdowne Monument
Lansdowne Monument
The Lansdowne Monument, also known as Cherhill Monument, near Cherhill in Wiltshire is a 38 metre stone obelisk erected by Third Marquis of Lansdowne to the designs of Sir Charles Barry to commemorate his ancestor, Sir William Petty in 1845....

, can be seen in the video. The video was filmed in part at the now defunct RAF Yatesbury, a Royal Air Force base in Wiltshire
Wiltshire
Wiltshire is a ceremonial county in South West England. It is landlocked and borders the counties of Dorset, Somerset, Hampshire, Gloucestershire, Oxfordshire and Berkshire. It contains the unitary authority of Swindon and covers...

, and - according to The Timelords - cost in the region of £8,000 to make.

Reaction

While the music-buying public of the UK embraced the single, taking it to the number-one spot within three weeks of its release, the music press
Music journalism
Music journalism is criticism and reportage about music. It began in the eighteenth century as comment on what is now thought of as 'classical music'. This aspect of music journalism, today often referred to as music criticism , comprises the study, discussion, evaluation, and interpretation of...

 was strongly negative. Melody Maker
Melody Maker
Melody Maker, published in the United Kingdom, was, according to its publisher IPC Media, the world's oldest weekly music newspaper. It was founded in 1926 as a magazine targeted at musicians; in 2000 it was merged into "long-standing rival" New Musical Express.-1950s–1960s:Originally the Melody...

 described it as "pure, unadulterated agony ... excruciating"; Sounds
Sounds (magazine)
Sounds was a long-term British music paper, published weekly from 10 October 1970 – 6 April 1991. It was produced by Spotlight Publications , which was set up by Jack Hutton and Peter Wilkinson, who left "Melody Maker" to start their own company...

 reasoned that it was "a record so noxious that a top ten place can be its only destiny", calling it a "rancid reworking of ancient discs". The record also reached number two in Australia and Norway. Select magazine later reported that "Doctorin' the Tardis" sold over a million copies.

In a retrospective look at novelty records and a defence of the genre, Peter Paphides wrote in The Observer
The Observer
The Observer is a British newspaper, published on Sundays. In the same place on the political spectrum as its daily sister paper The Guardian, which acquired it in 1993, it takes a liberal or social democratic line on most issues. It is the world's oldest Sunday newspaper.-Origins:The first issue,...

s music monthly that "the one novelty record most people admit to liking is 'Doctorin' The Tardis' by The Timelords... The reason for this, presumably, is that it's nice to be in on the same joke as arch pop ironist Bill Drummond. Fine, but let's not forget that if The KLF weren't passionate about how brilliantly dumb pop can be they wouldn't have got to Number One." The "reason we purport to hate novelty records", he argued, "is because we continue to romanticise the creative process. We feel that our intelligence is insulted by novelty."

A 1994 piece in The Guardian
The Guardian
The Guardian, formerly known as The Manchester Guardian , is a British national daily newspaper in the Berliner format...

 called "Doctorin'" a "piss-take". "It was a triumph for Trash Art and it spent exactly one week at the top of the chart. Perfect."

Legacy

The Timelords released one other product on the strength of "Doctorin' the Tardis", a 1989 book called The Manual (How to Have a Number One the Easy Way)
The Manual
The Manual is a 1988 book by The Timelords , better known as The KLF. It is a tongue-in-cheek step by step guide to achieving a No.1 single with no money or musical skills, and a case study of the duo's UK novelty pop No...

, in which they candidly described the logistical processes and efforts that sealed the record's commercial success.

After The Timelords, Drummond and Cauty became The KLF. An American reissue of the single in the mid-1990s lists the artist as The Timelords/The KLF, and features both a KLF track (the original uncut version of "What Time Is Love?
What Time Is Love?
"What Time Is Love?" is a song released, in different mixes, as a series of singles by the band The KLF. It featured prominently and repeatedly in their output from 1988 to 1992 and, under the moniker of 2K, in 1997...

") and "Gary Joins The JAMS", a version of "Doctorin' the Tardis" with new vocals by Gary Glitter referencing his own songs.

Later attempts of Drummond and Cauty to top the charts were less successful: The KLF's "Kylie Said to Jason
Kylie Said to Jason
"Kylie Said to Jason" was a 1989 single by The KLF, "Kylie" and "Jason" being Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan, then stars in the popular Australian TV soap opera Neighbours. Designed for chart success, the single nonetheless failed to enter the UK top 100...

" failed to achieve the chart success for which it was designed, peaking outside the Top 100, and Cauty's novelty project Solid Gold Chartbusters with Guy Pratt
Guy Pratt
Guy Pratt is a session bassist and also a songwriter, actor and comedian. He is the son of actor Mike Pratt. In Kensington and Chelsea, London, in 1996, Pratt married Gala Wright, the daughter of Pink Floyd keyboardist Richard Wright...

, which was designed to be a Christmas number one single
Christmas number one single
The Christmas number one single is a single that reaches number one on the national pop music charts in the week immediately prior to Christmas. It is primarily a pop culture phenomenon in the United Kingdom and in the neighboring Republic of Ireland....

, did not reach the UK Top 10. However, The KLF's string of "Stadium House" singles, beginning with "What Time Is Love?
What Time Is Love?
"What Time Is Love?" is a song released, in different mixes, as a series of singles by the band The KLF. It featured prominently and repeatedly in their output from 1988 to 1992 and, under the moniker of 2K, in 1997...

", found popular appeal and worldwide chart success while dispensing with the opportunistic sheen of "Doctorin' the Tardis".

The 2005 American Edit
American Edit
American Edit is a mashup album released by Party Ben and Team9 under the shared alias Dean Gray. Its primary basis is the Green Day album American Idiot — the name "Dean Gray" is a spoonerism of "Green Day." If the name "Dean Gray" had been spelled as "Dean Grey," it would have been an anagram of...

 mash-up
Mashup (music)
A mashup or bootleg is a song or composition created by blending two or more pre-recorded songs, usually by overlaying the vocal track of one song seamlessly over the instrumental track of another...

 project combined "Doctorin' the Tardis" with Green Day
Green Day
Green Day is an American punk rock band formed in 1987. The band consists of lead vocalist and guitarist Billie Joe Armstrong, bassist and backing vocalist Mike Dirnt, and drummer Tre Cool...

's Holiday
Holiday (Green Day song)
7" picture discVinyl Boxset* Live tracks recorded September 21, 2004 at Irving Plaza, New York-Music video:The first half of the video takes place in a car , where Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt and Tré Cool are partying around the town...

.

Formats and track listing

"Doctorin' the Tardis" was given an international single release on 23 May 1988. In the US it was re-issued in 1991, containing The KLF's "What Time Is Love?
What Time Is Love?
"What Time Is Love?" is a song released, in different mixes, as a series of singles by the band The KLF. It featured prominently and repeatedly in their output from 1988 to 1992 and, under the moniker of 2K, in 1997...

 (Pure Trance Original)". The formats and track listings are tabulated below:
Format (and countries) Track number
1 2 3 4 5 6
7" single (except US), 10" picture disc
Picture disc
Picture discs are gramophone records that show images on their playing surface, rather than being of plain black or coloured vinyl.-Development:...

 single (UK)
DR DM
7" single (US) DR GT
12" single (KLF 003T) DR DM DC
12" single (KLF 003R) GT GM GJ
CD Video
CD Video
CD Video was a format introduced in 1987 that combined the technologies of compact disc and laserdisc. CD-V discs were the same size as a standard 12 cm audio CD, and contained up to 20 minutes worth of audio information that could be played on any audio CD player...

 single (UK)
DV DM DC
Cassette single (US) DC GT
1988 CD single (US) DR DC GJ
1991 CD single (US) DR DC W GT DM
CD single (Canada) GT GM GJ DR DM DC


Key
  • DR - "Doctorin' the Tardis" (radio edit / 7" Mix) (3:37)
  • DC - "Doctorin' the Tardis" (Club Mix / 12" Mix) (8:15)
  • DM - "Doctorin' the Tardis (Minimal)" (4:28)
  • DV - "Doctorin' the Tardis (Video Mix)" (2:20)
  • GT - "Gary in the Tardis" (3:26)
  • GM - "Gary in the Tardis (Minimal)" (4:08)
  • GJ - "Gary Joins The JAMs" (usually 6:22)
  • W - "What Time Is Love? (Pure Trance Original)" (7:06)

Other references

  • Library of Mu press archive - a library of KLF-related press clippings
  • Discogs.com, KLF Communications discography
  • KLF discography, Longmire, Ernie et al. (2005)
  • "The KLF: Enigmatic dance duo" (feature and discography up to that time), Record Collector
    Record Collector
    Record Collector is the United Kingdom's longest-running monthly music magazine. It distributes both within the UK and worldwide. It started in 1979.-The early years:...

     Magazine, April 1991.

External links

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