Control freak
Encyclopedia
In psychology
-related slang, control freak is a derogatory term for a person who attempts to dictate how everything around them is done — "a control freak. Scared to let us have differences". The phrase was first used in the late 1960s
— an era when great stress was laid on the principle that one "should not get into control battles about making … [a] person do things".
" can be seen as defending themselves against inner vulnerabilities, as with the man who was "a dominating control freak because of his mistaken belief that if he wasn't in control, he would re-experience his childhood angst
". Such a figure will "cajole, wheedle, pressurise, get 'difficult' all the time, to get his own way. He's always behaving like a puppet-master, tying strings on other people … because he can't bear to be changed himself". Similarly, a woman who 'is not grounded either in her own imagery or her own musculature … finds her identity in power over (sometimes called love of) her body, her family, her friends, her garden … Without that control, she is nobody'. When such a control freak pattern is broken, 'the Controller is left with a terrible feeling of powerlessness … But feeling their pain and fear brings them back to themselves.
Control freaks have been linked to codependents, in the sense that "codependency stems from a deep-rooted fear of abandonment, which leads to an excessive need to control and dominate … to control others because they fear they cannot control themselves". Recovery entails recognising that being "a control freak … kept me in codependency, and pushed people away from me. To grow out of controlling, we learn to be, instead of do".
In terms of personality-type theory, "the Control Freak … is very much a Type A … driven [by a] need to be in control".
wrote that "Control Freaks are people who care more than you do about something and won't stop at being pushy to get their way." There may be a fine line here. If a woman "prided herself on being a detail-oriented manager: when she ran a business she liked to know every nook and cranny, to check it was done right … [&] that trait had prompted some colleagues to brand her a 'control freak'", was she so, or merely excelling at her job?
In some cases, the control freak sees their constant intervention as beneficial or even necessary; this can be caused by feelings of superiority
, believing that others are incapable of handling matters properly, or the fear that things will go wrong if they do not attend to every detail. Thus in a research context, "a steeper hierarchy just disables the operation because it brings out the control freak … who wants to know exactly how money is being spent, right down to the last pencil".
In other cases, they may simply enjoy the feeling of power it gives them so much that they automatically try to gain control of everything around them.
as military commander was undoubtedly a micromanager: "His workload was absurdly centralised by modern standards", and the variable quality of his subordinates "reinforced his tendency to trust almost nobody and to do everything for himself, producing the symptoms of what we would now term a control freak". In 1811 he wrote that "I am obliged to be everywhere and if absent from any operation, something goes wrong … success can only be attained by attention to the most minute details".
By contrast, Napoleon
with his marshals "allowed them tactical freedom, but directed their strategic movements … allowed his subordinates to make decisions as to formations and other details". Nevertheless, at the Battle of Waterloo
, where Wellington "was continually going from place to place giving orders … went to each point of maximum stress and did what was required to win", whereas Napoleon "handed over to Ney the whole conduct of the attack", Wellington's control mania may well be said to have played the decisive role: "He appeared wherever the danger was greatest, heartening the troops and re-arranging the details of their dispositions … [&] was more than justified when he said the following day, 'I don't think it would have been done if I had not been there'".
Psychology
Psychology is the study of the mind and behavior. Its immediate goal is to understand individuals and groups by both establishing general principles and researching specific cases. For many, the ultimate goal of psychology is to benefit society...
-related slang, control freak is a derogatory term for a person who attempts to dictate how everything around them is done — "a control freak. Scared to let us have differences". The phrase was first used in the late 1960s
1960s
The 1960s was the decade that started on January 1, 1960, and ended on December 31, 1969. It was the seventh decade of the 20th century.The 1960s term also refers to an era more often called The Sixties, denoting the complex of inter-related cultural and political trends across the globe...
— an era when great stress was laid on the principle that one "should not get into control battles about making … [a] person do things".
Vulnerability
"Control freaks" or "perfectionistsPerfectionism (psychology)
Perfectionism, in psychology, is a belief that a state of completeness and flawlessness can and should be attained. In its pathological form, perfectionism is a belief that work or output that is anything less than perfect is unacceptable...
" can be seen as defending themselves against inner vulnerabilities, as with the man who was "a dominating control freak because of his mistaken belief that if he wasn't in control, he would re-experience his childhood angst
Angst
Angst is an English, German, Danish, Norwegian and Dutch word for fear or anxiety . It is used in English to describe an intense feeling of apprehension, anxiety or inner turmoil...
". Such a figure will "cajole, wheedle, pressurise, get 'difficult' all the time, to get his own way. He's always behaving like a puppet-master, tying strings on other people … because he can't bear to be changed himself". Similarly, a woman who 'is not grounded either in her own imagery or her own musculature … finds her identity in power over (sometimes called love of) her body, her family, her friends, her garden … Without that control, she is nobody'. When such a control freak pattern is broken, 'the Controller is left with a terrible feeling of powerlessness … But feeling their pain and fear brings them back to themselves.
Control freaks have been linked to codependents, in the sense that "codependency stems from a deep-rooted fear of abandonment, which leads to an excessive need to control and dominate … to control others because they fear they cannot control themselves". Recovery entails recognising that being "a control freak … kept me in codependency, and pushed people away from me. To grow out of controlling, we learn to be, instead of do".
In terms of personality-type theory, "the Control Freak … is very much a Type A … driven [by a] need to be in control".
In management
In the corporate world, control freaks tend to publicly admonish their inferiors, especially during meetings. More positively, the term can also refer to someone with a limited number of things that they want done a specific way; professor of clinical psychology Les ParrottLes Parrott
Les Parrott, III, Ph.D., is a professor of clinical psychology for Seattle Pacific University, author, motivational speaker, and an ordained Nazarene minister.-Early life:...
wrote that "Control Freaks are people who care more than you do about something and won't stop at being pushy to get their way." There may be a fine line here. If a woman "prided herself on being a detail-oriented manager: when she ran a business she liked to know every nook and cranny, to check it was done right … [&] that trait had prompted some colleagues to brand her a 'control freak'", was she so, or merely excelling at her job?
In some cases, the control freak sees their constant intervention as beneficial or even necessary; this can be caused by feelings of superiority
Superiority complex
Superiority complex refers to an exaggerated feeling of being superior to others. The term was coined by Alfred Adler , as part of his School of Individual psychology...
, believing that others are incapable of handling matters properly, or the fear that things will go wrong if they do not attend to every detail. Thus in a research context, "a steeper hierarchy just disables the operation because it brings out the control freak … who wants to know exactly how money is being spent, right down to the last pencil".
In other cases, they may simply enjoy the feeling of power it gives them so much that they automatically try to gain control of everything around them.
Wellington v. Napoleon
WellingtonArthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington
Field Marshal Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington, KG, GCB, GCH, PC, FRS , was an Irish-born British soldier and statesman, and one of the leading military and political figures of the 19th century...
as military commander was undoubtedly a micromanager: "His workload was absurdly centralised by modern standards", and the variable quality of his subordinates "reinforced his tendency to trust almost nobody and to do everything for himself, producing the symptoms of what we would now term a control freak". In 1811 he wrote that "I am obliged to be everywhere and if absent from any operation, something goes wrong … success can only be attained by attention to the most minute details".
By contrast, Napoleon
Napoleon I
Napoleon Bonaparte was a French military and political leader during the latter stages of the French Revolution.As Napoleon I, he was Emperor of the French from 1804 to 1815...
with his marshals "allowed them tactical freedom, but directed their strategic movements … allowed his subordinates to make decisions as to formations and other details". Nevertheless, at the Battle of Waterloo
Battle of Waterloo
The Battle of Waterloo was fought on Sunday 18 June 1815 near Waterloo in present-day Belgium, then part of the United Kingdom of the Netherlands...
, where Wellington "was continually going from place to place giving orders … went to each point of maximum stress and did what was required to win", whereas Napoleon "handed over to Ney the whole conduct of the attack", Wellington's control mania may well be said to have played the decisive role: "He appeared wherever the danger was greatest, heartening the troops and re-arranging the details of their dispositions … [&] was more than justified when he said the following day, 'I don't think it would have been done if I had not been there'".
See also
Further reading
- E.A. Deuble & A. Bradley, It Has A Name!: How To Keep Control Freaks & Other Unhealthy Narcissists From Ruining Your Life (2010)