Bill Engvall
Overview
 
William Ray "Bill" Engvall, Jr. (born July 27, 1957) is an American comedian and actor
Actor
An actor is a person who acts in a dramatic production and who works in film, television, theatre, or radio in that capacity...

 best known for his work as a stand-up
Stand-up comedy
Stand-up comedy is a comedic art form. Usually, a comedian performs in front of a live audience, speaking directly to them. Their performances are sometimes filmed for later release via DVD, the internet, and television...

 comic and as a member of the Blue Collar Comedy
Blue Collar Comedy Tour
The Blue Collar Comedy Tour was a comedy troupe featuring Jeff Foxworthy with three of his comedian friends, Bill Engvall, Ron White, and Larry the Cable Guy, who had replaced fellow comedian Craig Hawksley, who performed in the first twenty shows on the tour...

 group.
Bill Engvall was born in Galveston, Texas
Galveston, Texas
Galveston is a coastal city located on Galveston Island in the U.S. state of Texas. , the city had a total population of 47,743 within an area of...

. Following graduation from Richardson High School
Richardson High School
Richardson High School is a High school in Richardson, Texas, United States with a 2006 enrollment of approximately 2500 and a student/teacher ratio of 12.8.-Background:...

 in Richardson, Texas
Richardson, Texas
Richardson is a city in Dallas and Collin Counties in the U.S. state of Texas. As of the 2010 census, the city had a total population of 99,223. In 2011 the population was estimated to be 107,684. Richardson is an affluent inner suburb of Dallas and home of the Telecom Corridor with a high...

, Engvall attended Southwestern University
Southwestern University
Southwestern University is a private, four-year, undergraduate, liberal arts college located in Georgetown, Texas, USA. Founded in 1840, Southwestern is the oldest university in Texas. The school is affiliated with the United Methodist Church although the curriculum is nonsectarian...

 in Georgetown, Texas
Georgetown, Texas
Georgetown is a city and also the county seat of Williamson County, Texas, United States with a population of 47,400 at the 2010 census. Southwestern University, founded in 1840, is the oldest university in Texas and is located in Georgetown, about 1/2 mile east of the historic square...

, intending to earn a Bachelors degree and become a teacher. While at Southwestern he was a member of Xi Chapter of the Kappa Alpha Order
Kappa Alpha Order
Kappa Alpha Order is a social fraternity and fraternal order. Kappa Alpha Order has 124 active chapters, 3 provisional chapters, and 2 commissions...

 fraternity.
Quotations

[about "TV golfers" who try to help other people out] : He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Wikipedia:Wayne Gretzky|Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

[about an incident in a coffee shop] : I go "I just want a cup of black coffee." She goes "Do you want to try a biscotti? They're from Italy and they're considered a delicacy." Have you ever eaten one of these things? It tastes like a burned cookie. Where I'm from, that's considered a mistake.

[during a bit about dogs] : That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men.

There's a group in California that wants to make suicide a capital offense punishable by death. That's like punishing someone for being on a hunger strike by sending them to bed with no supper.

My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating.

 
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