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Anne Isabella Byron, Baroness Byron
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Anne Isabella Noel Byron, 11th Baroness Wentworth, was the wife of George Gordon Byron, 6th Baron Byron, the poet; and mother of Ada, Countess Lovelace, the patron and co-worker of Charles Babbage.
NameHer names were unusually complex. She was born in London, Anne Isabella Milbanke, the only child of Sir Ralph Milbanke, 6th Baronet, and his wife Lady Judith Milbanke, sister of Thomas Noel, Lord Wentworth. When Lord Wentworth died, a few months after Anne Isabella's marriage, her father, who inherited a large part of the estate, changed his name to Sir Ralph Noel, and she and her husband did also, when her mother died. This was a condition of inheritance; her mother also wrote a letter to the Prince Regent, requesting that he make her daughter "Lady Wentworth" so her parents wouldn't have to call her "Byron".
So she was first Anne Isabella Byron, Baroness or Lady Byron, and then Anne Isabella Noel, Lady Byron. Her uncle had been both Viscount and Baron Wentworth, which were inherited differently: the viscounty became extinct, the barony fell into abeyance between her mother and her cousin, Nathaniel Curzon, 3rd Baron Scarsdale. When her cousin died without heirs in 1856, she became Baroness Wentworth as sole claimant; but she did not use the title. She signed her letters "A. I. Noel Byron"; her will "Baroness Noel-Byron". She was known to the world as Lady Byron, to her friends by the nickname Annabella.
YouthShe was a gifted child and to cultivate her obvious intelligence her parents hired as her tutor a former Cambridge University professor by the name of William Frend. Under his direction, Annabella's education proceeded very much like that of a Cambridge student, her studies involving classical literature, philosophy, science and mathematics, in which she particularly delighted. This fascination led her husband Lord Byron to nickname her his "princess of parallelograms".
Anne Isabella developed into a stiff, religious woman with strict morals. She was very aware of her intellect and was not ashamed to demonstrate it in her social realm. Often described as cold and prim, she seemed an unlikely match for the man who would become her ultimate obsession, the dramatically dark and "morally fractured" Lord Byron. Their first meeting occurred in March of 1812 and she later confessed to her mother that though she would not venture to introduce herself to Byron, she would certainly accept his introduction to her if it were offered.
Although Byron's popularity was soaring following the success of Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, Annabella continually rejected his attentions. Spurned, Byron committed himself to the pursuit of her and in October 1812, he proposed marriage. In response, Annabella wrote a summary of his character and three days later refused him. However, both were plagued with a persistent interest in one another.
In August of 1813, she contacted Byron in writing for the first time. The letters continued into the next year, some offering reassurance and support during times when public opinion of him was not favorable, others describing the "imperfect attachment" she felt for him. During this time, he accepted an invitation from Sir Ralph Milbanke to visit Seaham Hall, the family home in County Durham.
MarriageLord Byron made a second proposal to Miss Milbanke in September of 1814 and she accepted. The couple were married privately, and by special license, at Seaham Hall in County Durham on January 2 1815 (the officiating clergyman was her illegitimate cousin, the Rev. Thomas Noel of Kirkby Mallory, natural son of her uncle, Viscount Wentworth); they lived at Piccadilly Terrace in London.
Byron was in extreme financial distress. He rejected money he was offered for his written works, feeling the sums were insufficient, and he was having difficulty selling his estates at Newstead Abbey and Rochdale to clear his debt. During the summer of 1815, he began to unleash his anger and hostility on his wife. His moods were dark and he began to drink heavily. In a letter to his half-sister, Augusta Leigh, he stated his suspicions that his wife had broken the lock on his desk and searched it. Later in the year he began an affair with Susan Boyce, a London chorus girl.
Lady Byron became increasingly distressed. She was in the late stages of pregnancy and feared Byron may have been going mad. In November 1815, she wrote to Augusta and told her of Byron's moods and behavior. In answer to her sister-in-law's letter, Augusta traveled to the Byrons' home to assist. Upon her arrival, she became the recipient of Byron's wrath and she believed him to be temporarily insane. On December 10th, Lady Byron gave birth to their only child, a daughter whom they named Ada. This did nothing to quiet Byron's despair and instead seemed to increase it.
Later lifeDuring the first month at Kirkby Mallory, Lady Byron wrote to Byron affectionately, addressing him as "dearest Duck". Her mother wrote to him and invited him to come to their home. However, concern for the preservation of Lady Byron soon became prevalent, and her parents sought legal counsel. A legal separation was recommended and a letter proposing the separation was sent to Byron. Augusta, who had remained with Byron at Piccadilly Terrace since his wife's departure, intercepted the letter fearing Byron would commit suicide if he knew of it. She returned the letter to Kirkby Mallory and communicated her opinion that greater consideration should be taken in the matter of the Byrons' marriage. A week later, however, the proposal was sent once again to Byron by the hand of a messenger. This time it reached him but he refused to believe Lady Byron no longer desired to be married to him. He asked Augusta to write to her and he responded to the proposal with a refusal to dissolve their marriage. He changed his mind a short while later when Lady Byron made clear her suspicions that Byron's relationship with Augusta was incestuous. He then agreed to grant Lady Byron's request only if she proved to him that the desire for legal separation was her own and not that of her parents. In response, Lady Byron personally communicated her feelings to Augusta, and Byron kept his word. In March of 1816, the separation was made legal in a private settlement.
Following the settlement, Augusta wrote to Lady Byron; her solicitor replied to the private note. This cold treatment of his half-sister enraged Byron. Not long after the dissolution of his marriage, he left England and lived the remainder of his days abroad.
Though she wished to have Byron removed from her life, Lady Byron obsessed over him until her death. She had spent the duration of their relationship trying desperately to save his soul and secure him a place in Heaven. In the years following their separation, she convinced herself that the time she had spent with Byron certainly guaranteed he would experience God's embrace upon his death. She kept his letters, copies of her own to him, and letters about him. She carefully documented their relationship, supposedly in preparation for any challenge Byron may have made for custody of Ada. He never did pursue his daughter, though he did send for both of them shortly before his death in Greece on April 19 1824. Lady Byron drew deep personal satisfaction from this final gesture. Her obsession with Byron did not end with his death. Instead, she allowed Byron to ultimately define her life. Though she faithfully committed herself to various causes, such as prison reform and the abolition of slavery, he continued to haunt her for the remainder of her days.
DaughterAs Ada grew, Lady Byron feared her daughter would be predisposed to Byron's behaviors and dark moods. She attempted to keep Byron's genes at bay by schooling Ada in science and mathematics, and discouraging literary study. Though her effort was great, it eventually seemed in vain. Ada was a gifted mathematician, but expressed mathematics in metaphors. She also embodied many of her father's rebellious qualities. She married at nineteen years of age, had three children, and amassed considerable gambling debt before dying from cancer on November 27 1852. Lady Byron attended her daughter's deathbed, and refused her opiates, on the grounds that they would cloud her mind too much for repentance. Ada was thirty-six years old at the time of her death, just as Byron had been.
DeathLady Byron died of breast cancer on May 16 1860, the day before her 68th birthday. She is buried in Kensal Green Cemetery at Kensal Green in London. Prior to her death, she shared the story of her marriage to Byron with Harriet Beecher Stowe who published the account in 1869 and all but destroyed Lord Byron's reputation. It was the first time suspicions of an incestuous relationship between Byron and his half-sister were publicized.
Lady Byron's barony passed to her grandson, Byron King-Noel, Viscount Ockham.
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